| Humor Non-Fiction posted June 21, 2022 |
  |
Please ...
Don't ask!
by Wendy G
There's a group of people who are paid well, are never in trouble, and never take the consequences – even when they make serious mistakes.
No, I won't mention politicians. Nor will I mention the pollsters who get it so wrong most times. I won't even discuss the weather fore-casters who regularly announce a "slight chance of rain" – in "some" areas. That pretty much covers every possibility. All are well paid, all frequently make mistakes, and face no consequences for a "bad day at work".
When I was five I was in BIG trouble. I can still remember my mother's voice: "Well, at least it's the start of the school holidays! But in six weeks you'll still look silly! However, you won't do it again!"
And I didn't … until Covid struck. What had I done when I was five? The hot summer weather caused me to make the decision. I cut off my fringe. Yes, right along the forehead. By the time I returned to school after the summer holidays, it was about half an inch long, just like the short bristles on a brush. All the kids asked, "Did you cut your own hair?" Well, it was obvious, wasn't it?
My mother's words rang in my ears for more than sixty years. But when Covid struck, no hairdressers were open – so I wore my newly-long hair in an elegant bun or top-knot, or more casually, in a pony-tail. Apparently this latter is, according to some, unfitting for a person of my age. Well, doubtless I was continuing to look silly.
But the fringe was too long. I got out the scissors, and with fear and trembling, and my mother's words from sixty years ago still ringing in my ears, I copied what I saw hairdressers do. More successfully this time.
However, that childhood incident indicated to me that the career of hairdressing was not for me. Others did not have that early learning experience – and became hairdressers.
Many times such hairdressers have had "a bad day" at my expense. Literally, at my expense. They still got paid well – for making me look silly. I had to wear THEIR mistakes on my head for six weeks or more. And people would ask that stupid question, "Did you cut your own hair?"
Experience has led me to the following conclusions. Firstly, one should never visit a hairdresser who has no customers waiting, who can take you at a moment's notice. There is a reason for no customers waiting – and you do not want to be that reason.
Secondly, they are looking forward to on-going and interminable conversation – one-sided. Such a lack of concentration means that they keep snipping away. They are enjoying your company.
Thirdly, they are probably out of practice – and they are now practising on you! They keep snipping away….
Fourthly, any lack of success will always be your fault, not theirs. "Oh dear, the sides aren't even. Your head mustn't be symmetrical!" Snip, snip on the other side. Still not even. Snip, snip, again …. Corrections of corrections. Meanwhile, my hair is getting shorter and shorter.
"Well," she beams, "it'll always look tidy, won't it?!" Yes and no. After I wear a cap for walking, I note that my flattened hair makes my head look like a tennis ball. If I am out in the wind without a cap (because it blows off) I look like a punk with my short hair standing on end.
Yes, I pay for this privilege. She goes home at the end of the day, satisfied with her income. I go home at the end of the day, dissatisfied with my outcome.
Perhaps someone can explain why people still have to ask, "Did you cut your own hair?"
My attractive daughter wanted some blond highlights, for a fresh summery look. Off she went to her local hairdresser. The result was hideous: broad bands of sickly yellow hair throughout. Ugly, very ugly!
Even the hairdresser recognised the disaster it was – and only charged her half price. My daughter later said she would have paid anything to escape. She went to the nearest big town to get it reversed – at a salon which specializes in rectifying just such errors. A niche market. My daughter happily paid a fortune to get it fixed. But not before she was asked several times: "Did you do it yourself?" and "Did you get highlights?" No, she did not do it herself, and no, she got low-lights!
I have now swapped my chic and elegant Covid bun for a shortish bob. Because who can wear a cap atop an elegant bun, for dog-walking? And before you even ask, the answer is "No, I did NOT cut my own hair! I never cut my own hair. I learned that lesson long ago."
Yes, I have a new hair-dresser. My first words were designed to pre-empt any excuses, and to forewarn of potential difficulties. "I know my head is not symmetrical, but ...."
"Of course, it is!" she intervened. Okay, what would I know? She got busy.
The transformation didn't take very long. No, not long at all. Snip, snip, and it was done. Not the fringe, though. "I like a longer-style fringe," she announced. Yes, and doubtless she would like me back quickly, so she could be paid next time to "get this fringe out of my eyes"!
"I'll just dry you off a bit!" she announced. "A bit" was exactly right. I paid for my release, hair still quite damp. As I scurried away, eyes averted, I knew what everyone was thinking: "She's either too poor or too stingy to pay for a proper style-cut and dry!"
This hairdresser is yet another "proper hairdresser", one of the group who gets paid very well to make me look like this! Either short-cropped, unsymmetrical or wet, or with a fringe still in my eyes. Hopefully not all of the above simultaneously. But I'm not planning on asking for any highlights!
And don't ask me that stupid question! The answer is "NO!"
So – is my rant about people who are paid well, but others pay for their mistakes? Is it about hairdressers in particular? Is it about people who ask dumb questions? Or all of the above?
You can choose … all I know is that now I feel better!
Write A Rant contest entry
There's a group of people who are paid well, are never in trouble, and never take the consequences – even when they make serious mistakes.
No, I won't mention politicians. Nor will I mention the pollsters who get it so wrong most times. I won't even discuss the weather fore-casters who regularly announce a "slight chance of rain" – in "some" areas. That pretty much covers every possibility. All are well paid, all frequently make mistakes, and face no consequences for a "bad day at work".
When I was five I was in BIG trouble. I can still remember my mother's voice: "Well, at least it's the start of the school holidays! But in six weeks you'll still look silly! However, you won't do it again!"
And I didn't … until Covid struck. What had I done when I was five? The hot summer weather caused me to make the decision. I cut off my fringe. Yes, right along the forehead. By the time I returned to school after the summer holidays, it was about half an inch long, just like the short bristles on a brush. All the kids asked, "Did you cut your own hair?" Well, it was obvious, wasn't it?
My mother's words rang in my ears for more than sixty years. But when Covid struck, no hairdressers were open – so I wore my newly-long hair in an elegant bun or top-knot, or more casually, in a pony-tail. Apparently this latter is, according to some, unfitting for a person of my age. Well, doubtless I was continuing to look silly.
But the fringe was too long. I got out the scissors, and with fear and trembling, and my mother's words from sixty years ago still ringing in my ears, I copied what I saw hairdressers do. More successfully this time.
However, that childhood incident indicated to me that the career of hairdressing was not for me. Others did not have that early learning experience – and became hairdressers.
Many times such hairdressers have had "a bad day" at my expense. Literally, at my expense. They still got paid well – for making me look silly. I had to wear THEIR mistakes on my head for six weeks or more. And people would ask that stupid question, "Did you cut your own hair?"
Experience has led me to the following conclusions. Firstly, one should never visit a hairdresser who has no customers waiting, who can take you at a moment's notice. There is a reason for no customers waiting – and you do not want to be that reason.
Secondly, they are looking forward to on-going and interminable conversation – one-sided. Such a lack of concentration means that they keep snipping away. They are enjoying your company.
Thirdly, they are probably out of practice – and they are now practising on you! They keep snipping away….
Fourthly, any lack of success will always be your fault, not theirs. "Oh dear, the sides aren't even. Your head mustn't be symmetrical!" Snip, snip on the other side. Still not even. Snip, snip, again …. Corrections of corrections. Meanwhile, my hair is getting shorter and shorter.
"Well," she beams, "it'll always look tidy, won't it?!" Yes and no. After I wear a cap for walking, I note that my flattened hair makes my head look like a tennis ball. If I am out in the wind without a cap (because it blows off) I look like a punk with my short hair standing on end.
Yes, I pay for this privilege. She goes home at the end of the day, satisfied with her income. I go home at the end of the day, dissatisfied with my outcome.
Perhaps someone can explain why people still have to ask, "Did you cut your own hair?"
My attractive daughter wanted some blond highlights, for a fresh summery look. Off she went to her local hairdresser. The result was hideous: broad bands of sickly yellow hair throughout. Ugly, very ugly!
Even the hairdresser recognised the disaster it was – and only charged her half price. My daughter later said she would have paid anything to escape. She went to the nearest big town to get it reversed – at a salon which specializes in rectifying just such errors. A niche market. My daughter happily paid a fortune to get it fixed. But not before she was asked several times: "Did you do it yourself?" and "Did you get highlights?" No, she did not do it herself, and no, she got low-lights!
I have now swapped my chic and elegant Covid bun for a shortish bob. Because who can wear a cap atop an elegant bun, for dog-walking? And before you even ask, the answer is "No, I did NOT cut my own hair! I never cut my own hair. I learned that lesson long ago."
Yes, I have a new hair-dresser. My first words were designed to pre-empt any excuses, and to forewarn of potential difficulties. "I know my head is not symmetrical, but ...."
"Of course, it is!" she intervened. Okay, what would I know? She got busy.
The transformation didn't take very long. No, not long at all. Snip, snip, and it was done. Not the fringe, though. "I like a longer-style fringe," she announced. Yes, and doubtless she would like me back quickly, so she could be paid next time to "get this fringe out of my eyes"!
"I'll just dry you off a bit!" she announced. "A bit" was exactly right. I paid for my release, hair still quite damp. As I scurried away, eyes averted, I knew what everyone was thinking: "She's either too poor or too stingy to pay for a proper style-cut and dry!"
This hairdresser is yet another "proper hairdresser", one of the group who gets paid very well to make me look like this! Either short-cropped, unsymmetrical or wet, or with a fringe still in my eyes. Hopefully not all of the above simultaneously. But I'm not planning on asking for any highlights!
And don't ask me that stupid question! The answer is "NO!"
So – is my rant about people who are paid well, but others pay for their mistakes? Is it about hairdressers in particular? Is it about people who ask dumb questions? Or all of the above?
You can choose … all I know is that now I feel better!
No, I won't mention politicians. Nor will I mention the pollsters who get it so wrong most times. I won't even discuss the weather fore-casters who regularly announce a "slight chance of rain" – in "some" areas. That pretty much covers every possibility. All are well paid, all frequently make mistakes, and face no consequences for a "bad day at work".
When I was five I was in BIG trouble. I can still remember my mother's voice: "Well, at least it's the start of the school holidays! But in six weeks you'll still look silly! However, you won't do it again!"
And I didn't … until Covid struck. What had I done when I was five? The hot summer weather caused me to make the decision. I cut off my fringe. Yes, right along the forehead. By the time I returned to school after the summer holidays, it was about half an inch long, just like the short bristles on a brush. All the kids asked, "Did you cut your own hair?" Well, it was obvious, wasn't it?
My mother's words rang in my ears for more than sixty years. But when Covid struck, no hairdressers were open – so I wore my newly-long hair in an elegant bun or top-knot, or more casually, in a pony-tail. Apparently this latter is, according to some, unfitting for a person of my age. Well, doubtless I was continuing to look silly.
But the fringe was too long. I got out the scissors, and with fear and trembling, and my mother's words from sixty years ago still ringing in my ears, I copied what I saw hairdressers do. More successfully this time.
However, that childhood incident indicated to me that the career of hairdressing was not for me. Others did not have that early learning experience – and became hairdressers.
Many times such hairdressers have had "a bad day" at my expense. Literally, at my expense. They still got paid well – for making me look silly. I had to wear THEIR mistakes on my head for six weeks or more. And people would ask that stupid question, "Did you cut your own hair?"
Experience has led me to the following conclusions. Firstly, one should never visit a hairdresser who has no customers waiting, who can take you at a moment's notice. There is a reason for no customers waiting – and you do not want to be that reason.
Secondly, they are looking forward to on-going and interminable conversation – one-sided. Such a lack of concentration means that they keep snipping away. They are enjoying your company.
Thirdly, they are probably out of practice – and they are now practising on you! They keep snipping away….
Fourthly, any lack of success will always be your fault, not theirs. "Oh dear, the sides aren't even. Your head mustn't be symmetrical!" Snip, snip on the other side. Still not even. Snip, snip, again …. Corrections of corrections. Meanwhile, my hair is getting shorter and shorter.
"Well," she beams, "it'll always look tidy, won't it?!" Yes and no. After I wear a cap for walking, I note that my flattened hair makes my head look like a tennis ball. If I am out in the wind without a cap (because it blows off) I look like a punk with my short hair standing on end.
Yes, I pay for this privilege. She goes home at the end of the day, satisfied with her income. I go home at the end of the day, dissatisfied with my outcome.
Perhaps someone can explain why people still have to ask, "Did you cut your own hair?"
My attractive daughter wanted some blond highlights, for a fresh summery look. Off she went to her local hairdresser. The result was hideous: broad bands of sickly yellow hair throughout. Ugly, very ugly!
Even the hairdresser recognised the disaster it was – and only charged her half price. My daughter later said she would have paid anything to escape. She went to the nearest big town to get it reversed – at a salon which specializes in rectifying just such errors. A niche market. My daughter happily paid a fortune to get it fixed. But not before she was asked several times: "Did you do it yourself?" and "Did you get highlights?" No, she did not do it herself, and no, she got low-lights!
I have now swapped my chic and elegant Covid bun for a shortish bob. Because who can wear a cap atop an elegant bun, for dog-walking? And before you even ask, the answer is "No, I did NOT cut my own hair! I never cut my own hair. I learned that lesson long ago."
Yes, I have a new hair-dresser. My first words were designed to pre-empt any excuses, and to forewarn of potential difficulties. "I know my head is not symmetrical, but ...."
"Of course, it is!" she intervened. Okay, what would I know? She got busy.
The transformation didn't take very long. No, not long at all. Snip, snip, and it was done. Not the fringe, though. "I like a longer-style fringe," she announced. Yes, and doubtless she would like me back quickly, so she could be paid next time to "get this fringe out of my eyes"!
"I'll just dry you off a bit!" she announced. "A bit" was exactly right. I paid for my release, hair still quite damp. As I scurried away, eyes averted, I knew what everyone was thinking: "She's either too poor or too stingy to pay for a proper style-cut and dry!"
This hairdresser is yet another "proper hairdresser", one of the group who gets paid very well to make me look like this! Either short-cropped, unsymmetrical or wet, or with a fringe still in my eyes. Hopefully not all of the above simultaneously. But I'm not planning on asking for any highlights!
And don't ask me that stupid question! The answer is "NO!"
So – is my rant about people who are paid well, but others pay for their mistakes? Is it about hairdressers in particular? Is it about people who ask dumb questions? Or all of the above?
You can choose … all I know is that now I feel better!
Apologies to any hairdressers who might read this.
I have used spelling and writing style rules for my country, which do differ at times from American.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. I have used spelling and writing style rules for my country, which do differ at times from American.
You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.
© Copyright 2024. Wendy G All rights reserved.
Wendy G has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
