General Fiction posted June 13, 2022


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a 250-word story

Guns At Birth

by Bill Schott



"Guns don't kill people; people kill people," said Ace, quoting an oft-used maxim.

"Exactly my point," returned Queeny. "We need to limit who gets to own a gun."

"Who decides that, Queeny? The government? Some fluffy, never-missed-a-meal senator, who wouldn't know a pistol from a blow dryer?"

"Common sense, Ace. Who do you think would definitely be a bad choice to give a gun to?"

"No one. I think they ought to be given out at birth. A baby could use a .38 as a pacifier, then a teething toy."

"Unloaded, I assume."

"Of course. Bullets might present a choking hazard."

"You're kidding, of course," she said, wondering if he was.

"No, Queeny; c'mon. Bullets might choke a little baby."

"So, when do you give the kid the bullets?"

"Well, soon as the little rascal can figure it out, you provide plastic bullets so he -- or she -- can practice loading and unloading."

"Isn't a plastic bullet a choking hazard too?"

"Nah! The kid is in pull-ups by then, and only eats what's edible."

"When will junior--"

"Or a girl."

"Right. When will the child be taught how to shoot?"

"Once he understands the power he holds in his hand."

"Okay, Ace. Say, what would you do if one day she pointed that gun at you?"

"Depends on if he -- or she -- pulls the trigger."

"What if she does?"

"She better not miss."


 



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