| Biographical Non-Fiction posted June 3, 2022 | Chapters: |
...154 155 -156- 157... 
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1995 has been a difficult year, but it is nearing an end.
A chapter in the book Remembering Yesterday
Nearing the End of Trying Year
by BethShelby
| Background It's been a while since I added to this story. It isn't finished. The time is late November and December of 1995 in Chattanooga Tennessee. |
For new readers, who may not have read my author notes, this is written in a conversational way as I talk to my deceased husband. When I refer to someone just as "you" this means I am addressing my husband, Evan,
Almost five months had passed since Mom died, and we had taken Dad in to live with us. I’d been fortunate to get the home health service to come in and help with the transition. I’d also managed to get Medicare and Dad’s supplemental insurance to pay for additional equipment he needed, like a hospital bed with lifts, a new walker, a wheelchair and a bedside commode. I was getting used to the changes in our lifestyle. Now, I needed to be home almost all of the time in order to be there when Dad needed me.
We'd made it through Thanksgiving and had a pleasant time with the family, but the gap between late November and Christmas was a time of year, I found extremely stressful. Having a desire to make the holidays memorable for my family, resulted in my wearing myself out trying to do too much. I especially dreaded this upcoming Christmas, because I didn’t see how I would be able to find the time to do all I felt I had to do.
Two days after our Thanksgiving meal, your heart was skipping beats and your blood pressure was dangerously high. The more upset you became, the higher the pressure climbed. You had me taking readings every ten minutes. The top number was well over 200 and the lower number over a 100. At two in the morning, I called Carol and asked her to come over and stay with Dad, while I took you to the emergency room. You didn’t get to go home until much later in the day.
The fact we were still eating high calorie left-over meats and casseroles likely contributed to the onset of your blood pressure problems, but the end of the food didn’t mean the end your problems. Your nervous anxiety only made matters worse. The doctor kept trying new medicines, but you continued to have problems throughout the month of December.
Things didn’t improve for me either. The home health service told us they had done all Medicare would pay for, and they dismissed Dad. This meant from now on I would be the one giving him all of his baths. The physical therapist wouldn’t be around to keep him moving, so it would be up to me to keep him active.
I managed to put up the eight-foot artificial tree, decorated the house, and mailed my Christmas cards. However, shopping was another problem since I could leave home after Dad went to bed for the night.
All the while, our children were demanding too much of my time. Kimberly was working and rotating between using her mom and me for babysitting services. A lot of the time, she and Jane were at odds, and she needed me to keep Lauren most of the time. Lauren was a good child, and I loved having her around, but the timing was bad. Little fingers were busy ones. I caught her unwrapping my tree ornament shaped like Christmas packages.
Christi was living in a nearby basement apartment, but she was in and out in the room across from Dad doing massages. Besides that, she was seeing three guys, and one of them was a scary looking dude. He had no job, and he had mental problems. He'd tried to kill himself twice. Christi thought he looked like a model. (model for a crime poster, maybe?) Matt, a decent guy with two children, had at one time gotten a restraining order put on Christi for stalking him. Now, he considered himself deeply in love with her. He kept calling us, upset because she was seeing the other guy, and he wasn’t able to find her. He had gifts he wanted to give her. (We were starting to think maybe he had mental problems too.)
All that drama, didn’t help your blood pressure. It was almost worse than when Christi lived with us. Now, if you tried to call her and got no answer, you were worried something horrible might have happened to her.
Connie was freaking out because the semester was ending, and she had papers to write and art projects and drafting projects to turn in. She pleaded for my help. I remembered one of the last years during my own college experience. I was taking too many college hours, and I'd worked myself into a corner. I remembered the panicked feeling. I needed my own mom's help, and she'd willingly come through for me. Could I do less for our daughter?
I did some research for Connie and typed up several papers. I also drilled her for some of her exams. With my help, she managed to pass everything with decent grades. As soon as school was out for the semester, she and Charlie took off for Mississippi to have Christmas with his family. They intended to be back on the 26th for Christmas with us. We would be celebrating one day late to accommodate everyone's schedule.
This year of 1995 would soon come to an end. It would be a year when so many bad things had happened, I was ready to label it the “the year of my discontent.” In spite of everything, we realized there was much to be thankful for. We still had each other, and we were dealing with problems as they arose. Our children had their own problems, which had an effect on us as well, but we knew they loved us. That alone was a reason to give thanks and to celebrate Christmas as best as we could.
THIS IS US:
Evan is 67 and a retired drafting supervisor from Chevron Oil.
Beth is 58 and has had a variety of jobs. She is presently working temporary jobs.
Carol is 32, recently divorced, and a nurse, working at a hospital in Chattanooga and living in an apartment.
Don is a twin. He is 31, a recent graduate of Life Chiropractic College
Christi is Don’s twin. She is working as a receptionist at a chemical company and doing massages on the side.
Kimberly is Don’s wife. She is a nurse working in Atlanta.
Lauren Elizabeth Jane Shelby is Don and Kimberly's baby one year old
Connie is our youngest daughter. She is twenty-two. She is a senior in college.
Jane is Kimberly mom.
Charlie is Connie's boyfriend who has recently moved to Chattanooga from South Mississippi.
Almost five months had passed since Mom died, and we had taken Dad in to live with us. I’d been fortunate to get the home health service to come in and help with the transition. I’d also managed to get Medicare and Dad’s supplemental insurance to pay for additional equipment he needed, like a hospital bed with lifts, a new walker, a wheelchair and a bedside commode. I was getting used to the changes in our lifestyle. Now, I needed to be home almost all of the time in order to be there when Dad needed me.
We'd made it through Thanksgiving and had a pleasant time with the family, but the gap between late November and Christmas was a time of year, I found extremely stressful. Having a desire to make the holidays memorable for my family, resulted in my wearing myself out trying to do too much. I especially dreaded this upcoming Christmas, because I didn’t see how I would be able to find the time to do all I felt I had to do.
Two days after our Thanksgiving meal, your heart was skipping beats and your blood pressure was dangerously high. The more upset you became, the higher the pressure climbed. You had me taking readings every ten minutes. The top number was well over 200 and the lower number over a 100. At two in the morning, I called Carol and asked her to come over and stay with Dad, while I took you to the emergency room. You didn’t get to go home until much later in the day.
The fact we were still eating high calorie left-over meats and casseroles likely contributed to the onset of your blood pressure problems, but the end of the food didn’t mean the end your problems. Your nervous anxiety only made matters worse. The doctor kept trying new medicines, but you continued to have problems throughout the month of December.
Things didn’t improve for me either. The home health service told us they had done all Medicare would pay for, and they dismissed Dad. This meant from now on I would be the one giving him all of his baths. The physical therapist wouldn’t be around to keep him moving, so it would be up to me to keep him active.
I managed to put up the eight-foot artificial tree, decorated the house, and mailed my Christmas cards. However, shopping was another problem since I could leave home after Dad went to bed for the night.
All the while, our children were demanding too much of my time. Kimberly was working and rotating between using her mom and me for babysitting services. A lot of the time, she and Jane were at odds, and she needed me to keep Lauren most of the time. Lauren was a good child, and I loved having her around, but the timing was bad. Little fingers were busy ones. I caught her unwrapping my tree ornament shaped like Christmas packages.
Christi was living in a nearby basement apartment, but she was in and out in the room across from Dad doing massages. Besides that, she was seeing three guys, and one of them was a scary looking dude. He had no job, and he had mental problems. He'd tried to kill himself twice. Christi thought he looked like a model. (model for a crime poster, maybe?) Matt, a decent guy with two children, had at one time gotten a restraining order put on Christi for stalking him. Now, he considered himself deeply in love with her. He kept calling us, upset because she was seeing the other guy, and he wasn’t able to find her. He had gifts he wanted to give her. (We were starting to think maybe he had mental problems too.)
All that drama, didn’t help your blood pressure. It was almost worse than when Christi lived with us. Now, if you tried to call her and got no answer, you were worried something horrible might have happened to her.
Connie was freaking out because the semester was ending, and she had papers to write and art projects and drafting projects to turn in. She pleaded for my help. I remembered one of the last years during my own college experience. I was taking too many college hours, and I'd worked myself into a corner. I remembered the panicked feeling. I needed my own mom's help, and she'd willingly come through for me. Could I do less for our daughter?
I did some research for Connie and typed up several papers. I also drilled her for some of her exams. With my help, she managed to pass everything with decent grades. As soon as school was out for the semester, she and Charlie took off for Mississippi to have Christmas with his family. They intended to be back on the 26th for Christmas with us. We would be celebrating one day late to accommodate everyone's schedule.
This year of 1995 would soon come to an end. It would be a year when so many bad things had happened, I was ready to label it the “the year of my discontent.” In spite of everything, we realized there was much to be thankful for. We still had each other, and we were dealing with problems as they arose. Our children had their own problems, which had an effect on us as well, but we knew they loved us. That alone was a reason to give thanks and to celebrate Christmas as best as we could.
THIS IS US:
Evan is 67 and a retired drafting supervisor from Chevron Oil.
Beth is 58 and has had a variety of jobs. She is presently working temporary jobs.
Carol is 32, recently divorced, and a nurse, working at a hospital in Chattanooga and living in an apartment.
Don is a twin. He is 31, a recent graduate of Life Chiropractic College
Christi is Don’s twin. She is working as a receptionist at a chemical company and doing massages on the side.
Kimberly is Don’s wife. She is a nurse working in Atlanta.
Lauren Elizabeth Jane Shelby is Don and Kimberly's baby one year old
Connie is our youngest daughter. She is twenty-two. She is a senior in college.
Jane is Kimberly mom.
Charlie is Connie's boyfriend who has recently moved to Chattanooga from South Mississippi.
I'm continuing to recall memories of life with my deceased husband, Evan, as if I am talking aloud to him. I'm doing this because I want my children to know us as we knew each other and not just as their parents.
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