Humor Non-Fiction posted May 21, 2022

This work has reached the exceptional level
Wonderful Word to Live By

Say My Name

by Earl Corp

The author has placed a warning on this post for language.

Dear Descendants,
I am about to impart the wisdom of my time on Earth and my secrets to a happy life with you. If you’re looking for something profound, you’re looking in the wrong place.
  • Don’t spit into the wind.
  •  Don’t tug on Superman’s cape.
  • Don’t pull the mask of the Lone Ranger.
  • When Marshal Dillon says, “Get out of Dodge,” pack your shit and git.
  •  Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure can rent it.
  •  In case of a Zombie Apocalypse you don’t have to. be able to run fast, just faster than who you are with.
  •  Every time you think you’re winning the Rat Race, along come faster rats.
  • You either do it or you don’t, no trying involved.
  • The easiest road is not always the best route taken.
  •  T’were if’s and but’s candy and nuts, everyday would be Christmas.
  • There is a difference between wants and needs, and you need to know the difference.
  • Managers and leaders aren’t the same thing.
  • For every action there is a like and opposite reaction.
  • Teamwork is essential — it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
  • When in doubt, empty your magazine.
  • Weather ain’t neutral. In PA, if you don’t like it hang around ten minutes, it’ll change.
  • There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
  • If something can go wrong, it will. You need to have a plan B and C.
  • Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last, and don’t ever volunteer for anything.
  • A sucking chest wound, stroke, or heart attack is nature’s way of telling you to slow down.
  • The person who says they can, and the person who says they can’t are both right.
  • Education is good, but Experience is the best teacher.
  • Getting old ain’t for sissies.
  • Life is real, Life is fun— but it isn’t always real fun.
And remember, you die twice. The first is physically, the second is the last time someone speaks your name. So, say my name and I’ll be immortal.

Notes to the Grandchildren contest entry


This isn't meant to offend, but I had some fun with it. The first three came from Jim Croceâ??s song You Donâ??t Mess Around With Jim
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