| Writing Non-Fiction posted May 12, 2022 |
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Can you feel it?
Show, Don't Tell - part VII
by giraffmang
Feelings & adverbs.
Gareth was fuming. He couldn’t believe the awful story with atrocious punctuation won the site contest… again. “What’s the point?” he asked himself angrily.
In the above sentence, which I will never write again, the lead character’s emotions are explicitly stated. This may be useful in moving the story forward as the reader clearly knows Gareth’s emotional state but being told a character’s emotional state and relating to it are two different things. Being able to relate to an emotion is just a step away from feeling it, which should be the ultimate goal for any writer.
Telling emotions can be counter-productive in the long run. Showing emotions, without going over-the-top, can be much more beneficial.
‘I’m so sad.’, is something that most people wouldn’t think to themselves.
When applying show, don’t tell to emotions, it is all about realism. Better stories are ones in which the reader is invited into the experience so deeply that – even just for a moment – they forget it’s not real. The key to this kind of immersion is trying to have the reader feel what the characters are feeling. Not telling them.
No one is going to experience sadness just because an author tells them a character is sad. They may feel empathy, but they won’t share in the character’s emotional state.
Take a moment and think about things in your own life. How often do you stop and put an actual name to the emotion you’re feeling? If you’re in the middle of an intense reaction, you don’t usually stop in the middle of it and exclaim, ‘This makes me really happy!’ Most of the time, there’d be a reaction along the lines of ‘That’s fantastic!’ or ‘Finally!’, or perhaps a happy dance, fist pump or shouting with glee.
When this occurs, the people around you don’t need to be told that the news made you happy. They know from your body language, the tone of your voice, the light in your eyes, or the inane way you try to prevent yourself from grinning.
Now, apply this to your writing. Sometimes it comes down to a matter of trust between the writer and the reader. As writers, we need to trust that the reader will see the character’s reactions, too. Don’t go the easy route of naming the feeling and rather than stick to the old standbys of emotional adjectives (thrilled, displeased, tormented, etc), stop and picture how you react when you feel these things.
As long as you bring the right sort of reaction to the page, the reader will understand what’s going on (especially if they’re invested in the characters which we looked at before). One thing to be wary of, though, is to avoid repetitiveness. If the character reacts with the same five expressions over-and-over, it’ll get old very quick, and you’ll be in danger of losing the reader. Mix things up.
Remember not to slip back into telling phraseology such as ‘Gareth slammed the table angrily’. Pick strong verbs to avoid the modifiers. The verb should be strong enough to convey the emotion.
What if your character is more insular and reticent in their demeanour? Or they’re trying to hide their feelings?
Even internal reaction can (and probably should) be shown. Again, think about how you react to things and trust the voice inside your head. What runs through your head? Use the physical sensations of fear, anger, joy, and so on.
Something to bear in mind is that words like thought, felt, understood, along with adverbs, are all telling words. It is necessary to use them from time to time, the reader does benefit when shown the thought processes.
Try this.
Write your own emotions. Next time you experience strong emotions, peel things back and look at your reactions, and that of those around you. The more real you make it for the character, the closer the reader gets to feeling it.
Feelings & adverbs.
Gareth was fuming. He couldn’t believe the awful story with atrocious punctuation won the site contest… again. “What’s the point?” he asked himself angrily.
In the above sentence, which I will never write again, the lead character’s emotions are explicitly stated. This may be useful in moving the story forward as the reader clearly knows Gareth’s emotional state but being told a character’s emotional state and relating to it are two different things. Being able to relate to an emotion is just a step away from feeling it, which should be the ultimate goal for any writer.
Telling emotions can be counter-productive in the long run. Showing emotions, without going over-the-top, can be much more beneficial.
‘I’m so sad.’, is something that most people wouldn’t think to themselves.
When applying show, don’t tell to emotions, it is all about realism. Better stories are ones in which the reader is invited into the experience so deeply that – even just for a moment – they forget it’s not real. The key to this kind of immersion is trying to have the reader feel what the characters are feeling. Not telling them.
No one is going to experience sadness just because an author tells them a character is sad. They may feel empathy, but they won’t share in the character’s emotional state.
Take a moment and think about things in your own life. How often do you stop and put an actual name to the emotion you’re feeling? If you’re in the middle of an intense reaction, you don’t usually stop in the middle of it and exclaim, ‘This makes me really happy!’ Most of the time, there’d be a reaction along the lines of ‘That’s fantastic!’ or ‘Finally!’, or perhaps a happy dance, fist pump or shouting with glee.
When this occurs, the people around you don’t need to be told that the news made you happy. They know from your body language, the tone of your voice, the light in your eyes, or the inane way you try to prevent yourself from grinning.
Now, apply this to your writing. Sometimes it comes down to a matter of trust between the writer and the reader. As writers, we need to trust that the reader will see the character’s reactions, too. Don’t go the easy route of naming the feeling and rather than stick to the old standbys of emotional adjectives (thrilled, displeased, tormented, etc), stop and picture how you react when you feel these things.
As long as you bring the right sort of reaction to the page, the reader will understand what’s going on (especially if they’re invested in the characters which we looked at before). One thing to be wary of, though, is to avoid repetitiveness. If the character reacts with the same five expressions over-and-over, it’ll get old very quick, and you’ll be in danger of losing the reader. Mix things up.
Remember not to slip back into telling phraseology such as ‘Gareth slammed the table angrily’. Pick strong verbs to avoid the modifiers. The verb should be strong enough to convey the emotion.
What if your character is more insular and reticent in their demeanour? Or they’re trying to hide their feelings?
Even internal reaction can (and probably should) be shown. Again, think about how you react to things and trust the voice inside your head. What runs through your head? Use the physical sensations of fear, anger, joy, and so on.
Something to bear in mind is that words like thought, felt, understood, along with adverbs, are all telling words. It is necessary to use them from time to time, the reader does benefit when shown the thought processes.
Try this.
Write your own emotions. Next time you experience strong emotions, peel things back and look at your reactions, and that of those around you. The more real you make it for the character, the closer the reader gets to feeling it.
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