Humor Poetry posted April 3, 2022

This work has reached the exceptional level
A little English teacher fun--

Can You Feel My Pain?

by Verna Cole Mitchell

I might be just a bit fanatical
For language that is ungrammatical.
It hurts my ears; indeed, that's factual.
The pain I feel is truly actual.

For verb tense that has gone awry,
I'm seized by pangs and almost cry.
"I seen him when he took a fall;
I wish he hadn't fell at all."

For pronoun errors I must brace.
"This here--that there," I cannot face.
With "Me and her will go," I sigh.
I wince to hear "for you and I."

A double negative can make
My eardrums and my head to ache.
Words "I ain't got nobody's" sad.
And even when they're sung, they're bad.

When subjects don't with verbs agree,
The poor construction pierces me.
"Here is two apples"--how that bites!
And "It don't matter" smarts by rights.

When grammar rules are thus abused,
I'm in distress for how they're used.
I cannot help my strong reaction;
I utter "Ow!" for each infraction.

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