God Doesn't Make Mistakes

"Hey, sweet girl, what would you like Santa Claus to bring you for Christmas this year?"

"A penis."

"Oh, don't worry about that. You will have plenty of those when you're older."

***

"Oh my God! Becca asked for a penis for Christmas! How does a 2 1/2-year-old girl even know what a penis is?"

"Aww, that is so cute. She looks up to your nephews so much. She wants to be just like them."

"Well, that might be true, but she totally freaked me out with that answer. I was expecting Barbie doll or Legos. I would have even taken truck or dirtbike. But where the hell am I going to find her a penis?"

"You're crazy! I guess you could give her one of your old vibrators..."

"Bitch, you're not even funny. She's getting a truck and a Barbie doll and that's The end of it."

***

"Mommy, in school they make me use the girls bathroom."

"Well, honey, you are a girl. What bathroom should they make you use?"

"I'm not a girl. I am a boy."

"No, you are a girl. Boys have a penis; girls have a vagina. You have a vagina, so you are a girl."

"I don't care if I have a bagina. I am a boy, and I want a penis. God made a mistake."

"God does not make mistakes. You are who God wanted you to be. It's OK if you like to do boy things. It's OK if you like to play with boy toys. It's OK if you like boy clothes. That means you are a tomboy. And that is OK. But you cannot be a boy because you have a vagina."

"I'm not a tomboy. I'm a real boy in my brain."

"OK, honey. You can be a boy in your brain."

***


"Hey mom, do you remember when I was little and you told me that I could be a boy in my brain?"

"Yes, I vaguely remember that."

"Well, I'm starting middle school at the end of summer, and I want to be a boy in more than just my brain. I'm not wearing girl clothes anymore and I want my hair cut."

"But your hair is so beautiful..."

"It's not beautiful! It sucks! I'm cutting it. I'm not a girl!"

"Are you trying to tell me that you're gay? You know, it's OK if you are. I love you no matter what."

"No, Mom, I am not a lesbian. What part don't you understand? I... am... a... guy!"

"Calm down, Becca, honey. Everything will be all right. Are you saying that you are a guy because you like girls?"

"No! You just don't understand! And stop calling me 'Becca'. Call me 'Tucker' from now on!"

"I will not! Your name is 'Rebecca' and that is what you will be called. When your sister wanted to be called 'Fluffy Pretty Kitty Hero,' we didn't call her that!"

"You're not even funny! I hate you!"

***

"Yes, Doctor. She has been telling me that she is a boy since she was just a baby. Now, she has cut her hair and has been wearing boy clothes for the last three years. The kids at school make fun of her. They call her a freak! I think something is wrong with her. I thought she was a lesbian, but she said she's not. Please tell me what to do."

"Well, Mrs. Wilson, I can't say for sure without meeting with your child, but it sounds like a possibility that your child is transgender."

"Transgender? Does that mean she is homosexual? What does that mean, and how can we fix it?"

"I'm not sure if your child is homosexual or straight, but this is something totally different. Sexuality is about to whom you are attracted; gender is about who you feel you are. Transgender means that a person's physical body does not match what their brain is telling them about who they are as a person. In your child's case, the body is that of a female, but the brain is saying, 'No. I am a male.' Here are some pamphlets that include links to websites for you to read through at home. In the meantime, I would like to make an appointment to speak with Becca to evaluate her. Please make an appointment at the desk for the first available time. Do you have any questions?"

"I have 1 million questions! I don't get this! What did I do to cause this?"

"First of all, I assure you that you did nothing to cause this. Nobody did anything to cause this. We are not sure why this happens, but occasionally it does. Please read the information I have provided, and we can talk more at Becca's appointment. OK?"

"OK."

"Good. Secondly, in the meantime, if Becca asks you to call her by a different name or use male pronouns, do your best to be accommodating."

"Oh my God! She has been asking me to call her 'Tucker' for the last three years. I told her I would never. Rebecca is the name I gave to her in remembrance of my grandmother, and it is very special to me. Her sister, Abigail, calls her 'Tucker', but I don't think I can do it."

"I assure you, Mrs. Wilson, you can do this. It is very critical that you try to accommodate your child in this area as much as you can. She needs to know she can count on you for support no matter what. I realize that it will be difficult, but I know you are a supportive mother, and I am confident you can do it. I like to tell parents in this and similar situations to 'fake it till you make it.' So, you might not agree, but pretend you do... Until you really do."

"But I don't want to. I just want what is best for my children, and this cannot possibly be best for Becca... or Abigail."

"Let me give you a statistic. If Becca is indeed, transgender, the suicide rate among transgender males, that is people who were born female biologically but feel male, is 53% for those who are unsupported by their families. The suicide rate has shown to drop drastically for those who have support at home."

"So you are saying that there's a 50% chance that Becca will try to kill her self if I don't support her?"

"Technically, it's a little over 50% of a chance according to the statistics. But you can change that."

"Oh my God, oh my God... I would rather have a transgender son than a dead daughter. I'll do my best. I promise."

"I think after you read the literature I have provided, you will have a better understanding of what is happening. Also included in the literature is the website for a support group. Please call the number provided and talk to one of the mothers there. They have been where you are now, and they are very helpful and compassionate."

"OK. Thank you. I'll see you at Becca's appointment."

***

"Hi. My name is Alyssa, and I was given your number by a psychiatrist. I'm calling to get some support because my daughter said she is a boy."

"You have called the right place, Alyssa. My name is Kim. Why don't you start by telling me a little about what is going on."

"Well, my daughter is 15-years-old. She started telling me she was a boy when she was just ready to turn three. I thought it was a cute phase and I humored her. But she has never stop saying it. A couple years ago she cut her hair and bought a bunch of boy clothes from a thrift shop without my permission, and has been wearing them ever since. A couple years ago, she started to get breasts, and I didn't know till recently, but she has been wearing tight bandages around her chest to flatten them out. She got beat up in school the other day for being different, and I'm really worried about her."

"I understand. We all want our children to be happy, healthy, and safe. The first thing you said that really struck me as significant was that your child has been saying that they were a boy for many years without wavering. This is one of the criteria we use to determine whether or not a child is transgender or gender fluid. Would you say that your child is insistent about being a boy?"

"Yes, she has been very insistent for practically her whole life."

"OK. Would you say that your child is consistent about being a boy?"

"Most definitely!"

"And would you say that your child is persistent about the topic?"

"Yes."

"Then I would say your child meets the first criteria for getting an evaluation by a professional. Your child is insistent, consistent, and persistent. We have contact numbers for therapists, medical doctors, and psychiatrists all over the United States who are educated in this field if you need a referral. There are not very many yet, but the numbers are growing every year."

"Can you email me that information, please?"

"Absolutely. And I will give you a website that has a plethora of helpful information on it. We also have a private Facebook group for parents going through different stages of what you are experiencing. It's totally confidential, and only for parents and caregivers."

"Oh, thank you so much. I just need people to talk to."

"You are very welcome. I will send you the information right now and you can get started. Call me back anytime if you have any questions."
***


"Oh, Tucker... I cannot believe you are graduating from high school. Class of 2014, whoot whoot! My baby is growing up!"

"Mom, why do you always have to be so sappy?"

"I'm just so proud of you, son."

"Since you're so proud of me, what am I getting for graduation?"

"Actually, I have been thinking about that. What would you say if I told you I wanted to get you a penis?"

"Are you serious? For real? Mom, that would be so great! I mean... I mean... That would be really awesome! Do you mean it?"

"Yes, I mean it. I have been researching and I found a very good surgeon in California who comes with outstanding credentials and has a lot of experience with the surgery. He has a very good success rate and our insurance will cover most of the cost. The rest of the cost will be your gift from me.... if that is what you want."

"Mom, that's so amazing. Really... I mean... That's so freaking awesome! Thank you so much! I love you, mom. Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome. And now who is being sappy?"

***

"Hey, God, it's me, Alyssa Wilson. I just want to thank You for being with me in raising my kids, especially Tucker. This road has been difficult, but I know You have been beside me all the way. Now Abigail is 23-years-old and graduating from college, and Tucker is 26 and getting married! I remember telling him one time that You don't make mistakes. I believe that now more than ever. You knew what You were doing when You gave this child to me. You knew what You were doing when You guided me to an informed and educated Psychiatrist. You knew what You were doing when You connected me with my support group and my friends there, especially Kim and Shannon. It was all part of Your plan for us to put us on the road to where we are now. It didn't always come as fast as I wanted, and it surely didn't come as fast as Tucker wanted, but in Your time, You provided for us exactly what You wanted us to have. I was right about one thing though... You don't make mistakes. Tucker is who he is supposed to be, and Abigail is who she is supposed to be, and we are all in the place we are supposed to be in this life, serving you. Thank You, Jesus. I love You and give You all the glory. "