Middle of the Night –

My pillow is too lumpy,
      the fan is too high,
      and I think of you.

I wonder if you are dead 
      so I check your Facebook page
      and your last post is old.

So I check hers 
      and there are your pictures 
      … you both look so happy.

Missing you seems wrong.
      I tell myself that I am happy
      for the two of you.

But a pain rises in my heart
      as a small breeze
     that grows into a tempest.

Hot tears run down my face
      like a cleansing river
      clearing old memories
      of you and me,
      laughing so much … so happy.
      Dancing late at night in Spain
      at a bar with too many waiters.
      You looked at me with love
      and held me tight.
     I thought it would last forever.

Pain, 
      hello again,
      I will take care of you.

Breathing in and out
      I cradle you 
      and I put you to bed.

Moon shadows cascade over us,
      and a soft rain lulls us to sleep.

Goodnight pain.