If I was a rabbit on a cold winter morn,
I'd stay in a warren feeling nice and warm.

If I was a cow with teats hanging low,
I'd bellow for baby to suck in the snow.

If I was a deer, I would follow the trail
Deep in the woods to avoid the gale.

If I was a robin, I would have taken flight
Further South, avoiding a blizzard of white.

If I was a groundhog, I'd stay in a burrow
Letting your eyebrows form in furrows.

If I was a bear, cold wouldn't cause me a care,
For I left it outside when I moved to my lair

If I was a bug, I'd find the proverbial rug,
And roll it up tighter, remaining nicely snug.

But for me, a guy, my withers do quiver,
Causing my "fritters" to jitter and shiver,
Wishing and praying this day will end
So, my "jewels" and I can get into bed.