"Hell No!" (A)
"Fact of Fiction?"
Chapter Number One
(Into the Sea of Destiny!)
Written on February 23rd, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

"A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked."
"For the arms of the wicked shall be broken but the LORD upholdeth the righteous."
Psalms 37:26-17.
...
"It will come a day where all of these "Earthly-Things"
"Will pass away."
"And, we will be faced with what matters the most-Our Eternity."
...
'As far as Hell knows?'
'Unfortunately it seems the answer to me?'
'Without a moment of regress?'
'Yes!'
'And, my name?'
'Well thanks for asking and it's "Number Eight"
...
'It's 247 degrees f.'
'And, I've been down here now for three, full, Fucking, days!'
'They say that if you commit suicide you will go to Hell?'
'Hell yes!'
'I left my Lousy Soul hanging at the end of a rope!'
...
'Yes!'
'And, it's dark and it's dank down here and it stinks down here!'
'There is no Sun shining nor glimmer of Hope!'
'I'm still as if dangling from that rope!'
...
'There are no birds singing, nor are there any flowers in bloom!'
'It's just all Doom and Gloom!'
'And, there's plenty of room.'
'Yes, at the "Inn of Satan!"
'And, yes be careful!'
'Because he's here waiting to welcome you!'
'Just like he welcomed me!'
...
'Oh?'
'I forgot to introduce myself!'
'Unfortunately, here in Hell?'
'We are all labeled with a number.'
'My number?'
#66614978.
'You can just call me.'
"Number Eight"
'Yes, for short.'
...
'And, I'll tell you one thing about this place?'
'It's almost as if there's a void here in Outer Space!'
'Fuck!'
'Something just bit me?'
'Oh, it's just him he wants my attention!'
...
'You of course have to come for the ride and you will meet him!'
Yes, Ricky.'
'You'll meet the Master!'
States, "The Boat Keeper"
(The Grim Reaper)
'And, he has the most pleasant smile!'
'How do you say Close-Up 'Toothpaste?'
'Or Ban deodorant?'
...
'But you will be giving a very nice and valuable gift?'
'Yes from the "Master of Darkness!"
'Two Solid Gold Coins!'
...
Note: 'On the one side there is a picture of a face in agony that is burning!'
'And, on the other side?'
'Another face that you'll get to learn about later!'
'Yes, and this "Another face?"
'That you'll get to learn about later?'
'Well he has many names.'
...
"Lord & Master!"
"The Master of Unholy Darkness!"
'I just call him Butch for short!'
(More on that later!)
...
'Well, he's trying to put the gold coins over each one of my eyes!'
'Probably because it's a secret?'
'Yes, the river ride down the River Sythe.'
'And, we're not supposed to know the actual destination.'
"Top Secret"
(As if we didn't know?)
...
End of Chapter Number One!
...
"Hell No!" (B)
(Chapter Number Two)
"Come Ride With Me Into the Sea of Your Destiny!"

'Now, this is your last chance Doctor Ricky.'
Complains the Grim Reaper.
'You have to hold still while I afix the two gold coins over your eyes!'
'But Reaper?'
'I keep telling you!'
'That they're not going to do me any good covering my eyes!'
'And yes!'
'Instead, I want them in my pocket!'
(As I bite down hard to guarantee that they are solid gold!)
'Geez Louise!'
...
'It seemed like an Eternity on that River but they say...
'Even though I could not see?'
"Curiosity killed the cat!"
'God knows I've cheated Death?:
'Yes, 13 times!'
'And, this 14th?'
'Yes, is kind of hard on me!'
'Wonder if my body is still swaying from that old oak tree?'
...
'So, I comply but just for a little second!'
'Yes, as I take a quick peek!'
'Now I know what the smell is and where it's coming from!'
'Damn!'
...
'Will you look at that!'
'Yes, there's dead bodies hanging from the trees!'
"No wonder it smells so bad!'
'And, Look it's Bin Laden that dirty Muslim!'
'Well damn it!'
'I'm a suicide victim and I hung myself God.'
'But is that where I'm going to wind up?'
I wonder.
'But then again I'm already here?'
...
'So, finally the river raft ride down the Sea of Un-Tranquility comes to a stop.'
'The Reaper tells me to get the Fuck out of his boat!'
'Yes, as he takes the coins off!'
'So, leave his boat and that he's says ..
'I got more work to do!'
'I just got a text message ex-president Bill Clinton's wife Hillary's on her way!'
'No problem Grim and it was so nice to meet you!'
'See you in the Fairytale book!'
I reply with a Snicker on my face.
...
Note: 'The Reaper told me to stay to the left trail only, until I get to the next destination?'
"The Gate Keeper"
(Which I have no idea?)
'But I do know this!'
'Yes, that the smell has dissipated a lot and I don't see any more hangings!'
...
'So, for the next 4 hours.'
'I take in the view and enjoy the ambiance of Hell!'
'I think to myself?'
'It's so wonderful down here.'
'I'm surprised they're not advertising it with brochures?'
"Holiday in Hell!"
Call 1-800-666-Fuck-U!'
...
'Finally at last?'
'Yes, I come to the gate.'
'And, great?'
'There yes is a Gate Keeper!'
'Who looks like the Crypt Keeper!'
'Suddenly I feel as if I'm in one of the tales from the Crypt episodes on TV!'
...
'Ricky get a hold of yourself!'
'Your losing it!'
'Who said that?'
I wonder.
'After all you did this to yourself!'
'Thinking that by killing yourself?'
'Yes, you wouldn't have to put up with the constant pain on Earth.'
'And, you could go to Heaven with your son.'
'And, boy was that a stupid decision!'
The voice said.
'I thought to myself.'
'I think I'm going nuts!'
...
'Now, Actually the Grim Keeper of the gate was very nice to me?'
'Asshole?'
'Do you still have the gold coins?'
He asks me.
'Yes sir deep in my left pocket.'
'And, that's where they're staying until I go back home!'
'Where I belong and leave this Nightmare behind!'
I reply.
...
'I need the one coin.'
He states.
'Yez, or else I cannot open the gate and allow you entrance into Hell to see the Master!'
'Master me this!'
'And, master me that!'
'Who's afraid of the big black bat!'
...
'Your Number Eight aren't you?'
He asks me.
'I was told that you would have been here by 6:00 p.m.'
'And, not 11:00 p.m.'
'They told me that some jerk off, who's a writer, is coming to challenge Satan in a game of chess!'
'Winner take ALL!'
...
'WelI you see Crypt Keeper?'
'Gate Keeper or whatever the Fuck you are?'
'I kind of got lost on my way to
"Band Camp!"
I reply.
...
End of Chapter Number Two!
To be continued tomorrow with Chapter Number Three Entitled,

"Entrance into Hell!"
Written on February 24th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �????�???�??�?�© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

'And, As I passed through.'
'Yes, I hear the old, creaky, and rusted Gates saying goodbye to me?'
'As, I continue along the left side of the trail!'
2 hours later?
...
'I swear it sounds like music?'
I wonder.
There's no person singing but there's a beating of a drum and also I can hear the noise of harmonica?'
'And, there's this guy sitting on an old tree stump?'
...
'Hey are you on the way to hell?'
'Here why don't you sit next to me for a spell?'
'I give this guy to look over and then I reply...
...
'Are you Willy Nelson?'
'He then grabs a violin that's right next to him and starts playing the song,
"The Devil went Down to Georgia!"
'By Charlie Daniels!'
'And, Now I know I am going nuts!'
...
'After Willie finishes I asked him if he has any Xanax or Valium?'
'He just starts laughing and says...
'Just keep on the trail to the right Number Eight!'
'And, not left!'
'And, then you won't see any more apparitions!'
...
'So, I do is I am told because this is my story!'
'Yes!'
'And, I know reviewers is getting kind of old but it definitely isn't getting kind of cold?'
'As I continue on my way, yes I can tell I'm getting closer to Hell!'
'Why?'
'Because the smell is coming back again!'
3 hours later...
...
'I come now, not to the Gate Keeper but to this old man?'
'He has a placard sign hanging from around his neck that states...
"Are you on the journey to Hell?"
'So, I nod my response and he nods back like a bobblehead?'
...
'He then tells me that in order to get to Hell.'
'You have to answer a riddle?'
'I'll bite.'
I reply.
...
'There's three men in a boat lost at sea.'
'The boat goes down in a storm but the three men survive and managed to get into a life raft!'
'Now the last man is able to grab something which is a partial pack of cigarettes!'
'Yes, before the boat goes down!'
'There are four cigarettes in the pack.'
'There is no lighter but there is a pack of matches.'
'But unfortunately they're wet!'
'How do they smoke?'
'So, I ask him is it going to cost me my other gold coin if I get it wrong?'
'He doesn't reply so then I think about it.'
...
'Seem to me that I remember this riddle from an old Batman episode.'
'Yes and from the '60s!'
'And, it was of course given to Batman and Robin by The Riddler!'
'Yes!'
'And, the part of the Riddler was an actor named Frank Gorshin!'
So I reply.
...
'Simple!'
'You take the extra cigarette from the pack...
(Or the fourth cigarette)
'Throw it overboard and then the boat becomes a cigarette lighter!'
'Correct!'
He States surprised.
'You know you're the first person to get that right that's why there's a whole wood pile of dead bodies over there still burning!'
'Now, I know where the smells coming from!'
I think to myself.
'So, with my gold coin still deep in my left pocket.'
'Yes, I continue on my journey to Hell!'

"Me and the Master of Darkness!"
Written on February 25th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024

"Beware!"
"Continue this Way!"
'I guess now I'm supposed to follow directions as in warning signs?'
I figured.
'So, I focused on the signs, as I continued on my Merry way!'
'Now this is taking me all Day!'
'God, you would think from after all that I've been through.'
'That it will be a little bit closer and coming into view?'
...
'So, I did as instructed before and stayed on the path to the right.'
'Not the left.'
'I did this for about 4 hours and then I came across another sign.'
"You're Getting Closer!"
...
'Now, and at this rate?'
'I should be actually at the gates or door of Hell, no later than 3:00 in the afternoon.'
I figured.
'And, it's been about 18 hours since the Reaper dropped me off!'
...
'And that's when I noticed it?'
'This crazy red glow?'
'And, it looked like it was about a mile away!'
'Could this be Hell?'
I wondered.
...
'Jesus!'
'This was when I noticed it!'
'Yes, the trail felt like it was increasing in heat?'
'And, as I got closer?'
'It felt like the soles of my sneakers were about to melt!'
'Crazy!'
'I thought as I continued on my way.'
...
'And, then I saw what was causing the glow!'
'Yes, it was a big sign stating,
"Welcome to Hell!"
'You could fry eggs off of that!'
I thought.
...
'And yes!'
'This time it wasn't a gate but it was a really big large metal door!'
And, there was a small placard above the top that stated, "Satan's House"
'That's when I realized there was a slot?'
...
'So, I kept on banging on this door there was no doorbell or any knocker!'
'My knuckles were starting to get raw and nobody was answering!'
'And, then I had an epiphany!'
...
'Maybe the slot is there for a purpose?'
'So I reached down into my pocket and pulled out the gold coin.'
'I figured it was going to do me any good in Hell.'
'So, I placed it in and listened carefully.'
'Yes, as it kind of rolled around, at first.'
'As if it was searching for something?'
'And, then I heard this loud noise?'
'As the door unlocked and slowly creaked open on its own!'
...
'Now that was creepy I thought.'
'So I entered and went inside and saw some Many, Many, strange but amazing things!'
'I noticed the drawing that was on the one coin.'
'Yes, was also on the other side of the door when I was inside!'
'This horrible face of agony!'
...
'The carpet was a plush purple,
Blood-Red with symbols on it that looked very ancient.'
'I actually started to feel like comforting feeling being inside.'
'And, the temperature was actually quite normal!'
'Remember?'
'I was traveling in an atmosphere that was close to 247 degrees farienheit!'
...
'Suddenly this strange person approached me!'
'You can trust me!'
'Can you say weird?'
'So, I called him Igor and then he asked me my name?'
'So, I told him Doctor Ricky.'
'No your Fucking Number!'
He demanded.
'Number Eight?'
'I think?'
...
'He then said to me.'
Take eight steps to the Left.'
'Stop then take eight steps to the right.'
'Stop again and spin eight times.'
'And, then knock on the door that will be in front of you!'
...
'So, I did exactly as instructed and he was correct!'
'Suddenly a door appeared as if out of Nowheres!'
'The door opened on its own?'
'Yes, I didn't have to put a key in, knock or a coin?'
...
'The man that greeted me was very old and wrinkled!'
'He told me to follow him into the study room.'
''And, this was when I met Satan.'
(For the first time)
'He told me to sit across from him.'
'Yes, at this very rather large desk with more strange and deranged symbols on it!'
...
'This is when he reached into a drawer and pulled out the chess set.'
'I was told that this was going to happen.'
'And, the person that told me was exactly right!'
'I now realized that I would be in for the fight of my life?'


"Hell No!"(A)Final?
"Stop, Look, and Listen?"
Written on February 26th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �©Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

'It's funny when you're scared you can feel your heartbeat as if it's in your pulse!'
Note: 'The chess board was kind of strange it wasn't what you would typically think.'
'Each square had a strange symbol on it.'
'Plus there was no game pieces?'
...
'Are you ready Number Eight to begin?'
Asked Satan.
''And, you do know winner takes all!'
'I'm not sure what he meant by that but I was still game.'
'I've been playing this game since a child.'
'Yes, and by no means.'
'Would I qualify myself as an expert but I've also win most of the time.'
...
Note: 'There's certain strategies and rules in the game of chess.
'And yes!'
'It is a game of intellect and the person that can stay and predict many moves ahead?'
'Yes, usually will be the winner!'
...
'Satan states that since he is the Lord of Darkness.'
'He picks the Black pieces.'
'And, that he gets to move first?'
'However, in the real game of Chess.'
'The person who is the white goes first.'
...
'I said to Satan.'
'You forgot to put the pieces down on the playing board.'
'Shut up Asshole and just watch!'
'Suddenly, as if he can control the whole board and every piece?'
'Kings pawn move forward two squares!'
...
'The king came to life and kicked the pawn in the butt!'
'Yelling out ouch!'
'The pawn complied and moved the two squares forward!'
'Yes, which is a typical starting and beginning move in chess!'
...
'So, I counter-acted doing exactly the same and was quite amazed at how my pieces listen to me!'
'And, of course without a kick in the ass!'
...
'I'd already had my plan figured and it would defeat Satan if he went for my bait?'
'I learned a long time ago, to keep and pair up either your Knights or Bishop's.'
'And, don't separate them!'
'Work them as a pair!'
'In other words?'
'Keep the two together!'
'Don't lose one Knight and one Bishop!'
'Yes, and have one Knight and one Bishop left.'
'I said this to Satan and asked him if he knew that rule and strategy?'
...
'Of course I know stupid!'
'This is Hell and I've never lost one Soul yet!'
He replied.
'I knew now that he would take the bait!'
Yes!'
'Which would be a sacrifice of my Bishop!'
'And, being that I am a Latter-Day Saint Priest.'
(With the Church of Jesus Christ)
'I knew deep down in my Broken Heart.'
'Yes, that he would take it even More!'
'Since he hates religion and also God above!'
...
Note: 'It takes exactly six moves to clear the spaces in front of the Bishop and the Queen.'
'And align them up diagonally.'
...
'Well it looks like you're going to lose now idiot!'
'Because I'm taking another one of your worthless pieces!'
'Yes!'
'Your Bishop!'
'Stupid Priest!
Satan bragging!'
...
'Well, I'm so sorry to say Lord and Master of Hell!'
'My Queen is waiting and your King has now no place to go!'
'Checkmate!'
'If you could have seen the look on his face?'
'Yes, you would have pissed yourself!'
'And, as for Winner takes All?'
'I have no interest in ruling the Netherworld!'
I stated.
...
'And, now All I want to do?'
'Yes, is exactly as Dorothy did in the End of The Wizard of Oz!'
'Yes, when she said the Five magic words...
'There's No Place Like Home'
The End!
Note: 'And, yes this is a fictional story but if you know somebody that's truly suicidal?'
'And, talks about doing away with themself by hanging?'
'Then please call 9-11 or the National Suicide Hotline at
1-800-273-8255

Approximate Word Count: 3124.