The Ode to Grendy Frump

Now Grendy Frump had a bump on his rump
Or so it clearly seemed
He hobbled and bobbled, limping along
A sad state hardly ever dreamed

Attracting only a common sneer
He tolerated "Gimp", Geezle Peats of course
Was he childhood diseased, fussed over for years?
Turned out he fell from a horse.

Now Johnny Burgoyne approached Saratoga
With Brits five thousand strong
Old General Gates called for volunteers
And so Grendy stumbled along

The Sergeant Old Garlic grumped and harrumphed
A craggy veteran of the Coldstream true
Now he had traded his lobster jacket
For the glaze of the Rebel blue

"I pray Dear Sergeant
"I'm a patriot too
I can carry the powder or aid the cook
Surely there is something I can do"

We're in dire need little lad
Our task is hard, tis true
But hit the road with your silly self
We've no use for the likes of you

Surgeon called Grendy near
And examined his woeful spine
No wonder you hobble in sad despair
Happened same to a boy of mine

Musketman said you fell from a horse
Now subject to pokes of fun
Take my Bay in the nearby stall
Sneak him a treat and give him a run

Seems you straighten up very nicely
An Equine trip good of course
Align with the ancient fable
Get back upon the horse

The battle raged sending Redcoats to run
Unleashing a spiral of Yankee curl
In the hazy mist a cocked hat tumbled
Grendy Frump was a little girl

With flaming speed, she returned to the camp
The Bay had led the run
In her grasp,old Garlic's brother
Joined by kindly Surgeon's son

So raise a glass to our dear Grendy
And give the London jug a twirl
A sweet serenade, not a bawdy tune
After all.....She is a girl.