Humor Non-Fiction posted January 14, 2022


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Did I just ...? Yes I did!

Now what have I done?

by Wendy G



I like symmetry. 

House design, garden planning, floral arrangements, table settings, geometrical shapes – I like symmetry in everything!

Art, photographs and paintings on walls – and nothing must hang crookedly, because I can tell! 

Even clothes pegs: colour, shape and size must match and be symmetrical when hanging a garment. Why not?

Playing with toys with grandchildren – buildings from Lego or magnetic shapes … yes, they all must be symmetrical. 

Probably I am (slightly?) OCD.

So why, why did I make such a strange decision on Wednesday? So out of character. So different! 

Never have I done anything like it before.

I can hardly face what I have done. Yet I must. Daily.

I came home quite embarrassed. But I held my head up. Looked people in the eye. Almost dared them to comment. I must now wear the truth, and wear it publicly.

I have an asymmetrical hair cut. One side is shorter. Distinctly so. 

No, it wasn't that the hairdresser could not cut straight. She aimed to do it. She talked me into it. And I agreed. 

Gone is my Nanny bun, product of Covid lockdowns and non-haircuts. I thought it looked very "Nanny-ish", perhaps even elegant, and maybe just a little regal. 

But not practical. How could I wear a cap for dog-walking in the summer sun when I had a bun shaped like a tennis ball sitting atop my head? 

Should I get short and layered as before Covid? Again, wearing a cap flattened it till my whole head looked like a tennis ball. Or perhaps a football.

No – I needed it a bit longer so that it looked like I still had hair. But I wanted something in between, and interesting. I got it.

I can always get the longer side cut to match the shorter side, she assured me, if I don't like it. A pony tail is also still possible – except I am not ten years old! 

She described a number of wonderful variations as to how to wear it. Just do this … or that, and you will have a whole new look. Side-swept, half-up, dried straight, or windswept, waves, add a pin … or two. Just a little "product" ...! It all sounded wonderful … and easy. She made it look so achievable!
But I can't do it!

My hair was never symmetrical anyway, and each side always did its own thing. Of course that always irked me. Symmetry is my thing!! This new style was to be the magic solution! Now it has my permission to do its own thing, but still I sense a general lack of co-operation. 

How long will I last with an asymmetrical cut?  

Maybe next time I want to look different I will get ... a tattoo!



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