General Script posted January 13, 2022


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a scene with Pons and Ned

Scene at a Croquet Gam 7

by Bill Schott


CAST:
Pons = croquet whisperer
Ned = croquet novice

Bed = croquet slumberer 
Fed = croquet food critic 

G.E.D. = croquet Ned clone
Hed = croquet genius

Led = croquet evangelist 
Med = croquet partier 

Ped = croquet stepper
Zed/Red = croquet possessed corpse

DED = croquet Angel of Death.

Scene continues although we all hope it will be the last. 

Pons:
This will be the last strike, Ned. It's a close match. We might win.

Ned:
'Fraid not, Cuz. Yer ball split in two jis now. I ain't so sure ya kin fix er or hit er. 

Pons:
(
Shouts) We forfeit! 

Ned:
What we fittin' inta, Pons? Who're the utter two dudes?

Pons:
Huh?

Ned: 
Huh?

Bed:
(
Takes a swing and knocks the ball to the point near the final peg) This game is taking forever.

Fed:
Is it lunch time yet? 

G.E.D.:
Take the final stroke, Hed. I trust you will place our sphere closest to the pole.

Hed:
If I fail to do so, the world may be ending.

G.E.D.:  
Although the world may be ending, I feel strongly that your ball placement would more likely be coincidental rather than causational.

Hed hits the ball which rolls up to and touches Bed and Fed's ball.

Led:
(
strikes the ball which races along the ground and taps the two other balls)
Behold his mighty hand!

Med:
Is that a biblical verse, Led?

Led:
It was more in the context of -- Look at me!.

Ped:
(
walking in place) I borrowed a garden shovel and extricated our ball.  

Ped strikes the ball and sends it directly to tap against the others by the goal stake. 

Zed/Red:
Well that's about it. (
Looking to DED) Can I ditch this meat sack now?

DED:
You can go after you have gathered the souls of all your departed vermin. Position Zed's remains somewhere where he will be found with some modicum of respect. 

Zed/Red:
(
Scoffs) I was thinking about parking him, pants-down, in the port-a-john. How's that?

DED:  
Give it some more thought. As Ye sow, so shall Ye reap.

Zed/Red:  
Wow, you oughta write that down. 

Ped:
Hey, Zed.  Who are you talking to? 

Zed/Red:  
My name is D-red, dude. Zed is da-dadada-dead. I was just talking to the Angel of Death. 

Ped:
Ah - well - alright.  Since the last stroke is coming up, and you seem to be having a psychotic break -- maybe I should take the last strike.

Zed/Red:
Go for it, nut-who-walks-in-place.

Ped:
Good call.



To be continued...
 


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