| General Fiction posted January 3, 2022 |
  |
bad day at the office
Chain Mail Bob
by SimianSavant
The author has placed a warning on this post for violence.
This is Bob.
O
_|_
|
/ \
Bob works on the top floor
at Theranos.
Bob has a beautiful wife,
an X-Box,
two kids,
and a two-car garage.
He even drives a Tesla.
One day Bob is at work.
Bob sticks his head out the window
and sniffs the beautiful Palo Alto air.
Then he jumps:
\
-\
--\
---\
|_]_\
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
\ \
\ \
\_\
O _
__|_/
/ |
/ \_
___
|_]
__] _( )_( )_
|_] (_ _ _)
__] (_) (__)
|_] __ _
__] _( )_( )_
|_] (_ _ _)
__] (_) (__)
|_]
__]
|_] \ /
__] -----O
|_] / \
__]
|_] Bob flying
__] through the clouds
|_] __ _
__] _( )_( )_
|_] (_ _ _)
__] (_) (__)
|_]
__] | |
|_] | |
__] _| |_
|_] \ /
__] \ /
|_] '
__]
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| a window
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| another window
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|_]
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\
\
\
\
\
__] Bob
|_| bounces
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|_] an
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|_] window
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|___]_
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__|___]
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__T___]
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__H___]
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__E___]
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__R___]
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__!___] O
|___|_] $
__!___] \ $ $
|___|_] $ $ $ /
$_|___] $ $ $ $
|_$_|_] $ $ $ $
__|_$_] $ $ $ $
|___|_]
$$$$$$\ $$$$$$$\ $$\ $$$$$$\$$$$$$$$\
$$ __$$\ $$ __$$\ $$ | $$ __$$\__$$ __|
$$ / \__|$$ | $$ |$$ | $$ / $$ | $$ |
\$$$$$$\ $$$$$$$ |$$ | $$$$$$$$ | $$ |
\____$$\ $$ ____/ $$ | $$ __$$ | $$ |
$$\ $$ |$$ | $$ | $$ | $$ | $$ |
\$$$$$$ |$$ | $$$$$$$$\$$ | $$ | $$ |
\______/ \__| \________\__| \__| \__|
$ $ $ $ $
$ $ $ $ $
$ $ $ $ $
$ $ $ $
/ $ \
'
And that was the end of Bob.
Thank you.
80 Word Flash Fiction contest entry
This is Bob.
O
_|_
|
/ \
Bob works on the top floor
at
Theranos
.
Bob has a beautiful wife,
an X-Box,
two kids,
and a two-car garage.
He even drives a Tesla.
One day Bob is at work.
Bob sticks his head out the window
and sniffs the beautiful Palo Alto air.
Then he jumps:
\
-\
--\
---\
|_]_\
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
\ \
\ \
\_\
O _
__|_/
/ |
/ \_
___
|_]
__] _( )_( )_
|_] (_ _ _)
__] (_) (__)
|_] __ _
__] _( )_( )_
|_] (_ _ _)
__] (_) (__)
|_]
__]
|_] \ /
__] -----O
|_] / \
__]
|_] Bob flying
__] through the clouds
|_] __ _
__] _( )_( )_
|_] (_ _ _)
__] (_) (__)
|_]
__] | |
|_] | |
__] _| |_
|_] \ /
__] \ /
|_] '
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
| a window
|
|
|
|
|
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
__] | |
|_] | |
__] _| |_
|_] \ /
__] \ /
|_] '
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
|
| another window
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|_]
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|
|
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|
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__]
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__] '. (v) .'
|_] '( \.'
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|_]
__] bird
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|_]
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__] _| |_
|_] \ /
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|_] '
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|
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|
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|
__]
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__] *
|_] *
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|_] birdpoop
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|_]
__] | |
|_] | |
__] _| |_
|_] \ /
__] \ /
|_] '
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|_]
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|_] \ /
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\
\
\
\
\
__] Bob
|_| bounces
__] off
|_] an
__] open
|_] window
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
__]
|_]
__] | |
|_] | |
__] _| |_
|_] \ /
__] \ /
|_] '
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$
$
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|___|_]
$$$$$$\ $$$$$$$\ $$\ $$$$$$\$$$$$$$$\
$$ __$$\ $$ __$$\ $$ | $$ __$$\__$$ __|
$$ / \__|$$ | $$ |$$ | $$ / $$ | $$ |
\$$$$$$\ $$$$$$$ |$$ | $$$$$$$$ | $$ |
\____$$\ $$ ____/ $$ | $$ __$$ | $$ |
$$\ $$ |$$ | $$ | $$ | $$ | $$ |
\$$$$$$ |$$ | $$$$$$$$\$$ | $$ | $$ |
\______/ \__| \________\__| \__| \__|
$
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$
$
$
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$
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$
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$
/
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\
'
And that was the end of Bob.
Thank you.
You might be wondering, wasn't Bob wearing chainmail? But this isn't chainmail Bob. It's chain mail Bob, an adaptation of a chain mail email that was circling around the Internets in the early 90s. I can't seem to find the original story anywhere, so I have extended and adapted it to a modern setting appropriate to the news expected out later today. Anyway I am pretty sure even if Bob was wearing chainmail, it would not have made a big difference. Except maybe a slightly smaller splat. Next time please tell Bob to wear a mask.
I did all the ASCII myself, except for the bird. You're welcome.
I don't really have any other pieces like this one, but this probably comes the closest.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. I did all the ASCII myself, except for the bird. You're welcome.
I don't really have any other pieces like this one, but this probably comes the closest.
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