Humor Fiction posted January 1, 2022 |
Man does not live on sugar alone
To Eat or Not to Eat
by T B Botts
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
Christmas had come and gone and with it all the cookies, cupcakes, and pies that friends and family had dropped off. I hadn't shopped because I was surviving on donated sugar. In the refrigerator I found a plastic lemon, a bottle of ketchup and a shriveled carrot from a month ago. Two saltines and a bottle of ASS BLASTER hot sauce are all I have between me and starvation. I could sure use Martha Stewart right now. It's a good thing.
80 Word Flash Fiction contest entry
Christmas had come and gone and with it all the cookies, cupcakes, and pies that friends and family had dropped off. I hadn't shopped because I was surviving on donated sugar. In the refrigerator I found a plastic lemon, a bottle of ketchup and a shriveled carrot from a month ago. Two saltines and a bottle of ASS BLASTER hot sauce are all I have between me and starvation. I could sure use Martha Stewart right now. It's a good thing.
I actually received a bottle of ASS BLASTER hot sauce for Christmas a few years ago. I think one of my kids saw the name and immediately thought of me. I don't know why. I love salsa, but it has to be Pace picante sauce, none of that New York City stuff for me. I could almost live on saltines, cheddar cheese and Pace picante sauce. We're still working on cookies and cupcakes that friends and neighbors, with all goodwill, gave to us, never thinking of the diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure that could result from their generosity. Oh well, it's the thought that counts right?
Pays
one point
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