SALTED BUTTER

I sat beside my mother at the dining table. I took a piece of toast and started buttering it.

"What are you doing?" my mother exclaimed.

I looked at her and showed her the piece of toast.

"Can't you see? I am buttering your toast."

"But why? You know I don't like butter."

"You don't like butter?"

"I mean this butter. The salted one. You know I don't like it. I take only unsalted butter, that too made at home, by me."

Something's not right. I put the toast on the plate. I said carefully."

"I don't know any such thing. Last Sunday you had your toast with butter," I paused, and pointed to the bowl, "this Salted Butter. In fact every Sunday morning you have been having it for the last ten years."
"NO"! My mother was getting angry.

"I have never ever taken this butter. Why are you like this today?"

" Why Am I like this today? Why am I like this today? Why are YOU like this today?" My voice rose a bit.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten.

"O.K Amma, please try to remember. Last Sunday, what did you have for breakfast?"

"What else can I have other than this bread and jam! You never make anything for Sunday breakfast."

I ignored the accusation. I had long stopped making elaborate Indian breakfast on Sundays.

"Aren't you perhaps forgetting. You never had any complaints about butter all these years. Why now?"

By this time she was getting agitated. My husband who was witnessing all this looked at me and gently shook his head.

"Okay. So you want only jam. What about cheese? It is salty, you know."

"I know it is salty, she snapped. I will have cheese.You know I like cheese."


In the afternoon I called my cousin, my mother's sister's daughter who's a doctor in the Government service. She listened to my account of the episode and said,
,
"You are remembering my mother, aren't you?"

Her mother had a severe case of Alzheimer's. She could not even remember her children's names.

"Yes". I sighed. "This is a total blank out. Can one piece of memory be completely wiped out suddenly? Is she trying to needle me?"

"Look, Santha, one thing I want to make clear. You must not panic. Why should she needle you?. You need a good extra dose of patience. I am saying this not only as a doctor but as someone who has cared for an Alzheimer patient for about four years. We can't say this is the beginning. Different people have different forms of memory loss. But you must be vigilant.
Don't argue with her and see that she does not get agitated. Talk to her and drop names of people whom she has not seen in the last ten years. Does she read?"

"Oh yes. I get her whatever magazines I can. She even tries to read Reader's digest."

"That is good. What about the scriptures, Ramayana and Bagavath?'

"She spends almost two hours a day for spiritual pursuits. She does not spare any God!"

"Ah. She was always very religious. I used to wonder, none of my mothers siblings had that quality."

"And she still chants Thousand Names?"

"Yes. Both Vishnu's and Laxmi's. Every day. But she still needs to hold the book."

"That is okay. Maybe her concentration would slip otherwise".

"Does she read aloud?"

"No."

"I don't think at this stage we should panic. You know Hema aunty is coming in October. I will bring her and come and see her. They can talk about old times and let's see. Meanwhile..."

"It is waiting and watching?"

"Yes. And praying. I wouldn't want her to go the same route as my mother. So pray and hold on to your Krishna tightly."

"I will."