| Humor Fiction posted August 9, 2021 |
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an entry for the Dialogue Only Contest
Don't Call Back!
by DeboraDyess
Dialogue Only Writing Contest Contest Winner
"Hello."
"Hello! Mr. Jacobson?"
"Who's calling?"
"Hello, Mr. Jacobson! My name is Randy, and I'm glad that I caught you home!"
"Hmm..."
"This is your lucky day, sir!"
"Probably not..."
"I'm calling today to offer you a wonderful deal on a--"
"I need your name. Your full name."
"Who I am is not as important as what I can offer you, Mr. Jacobson!"
"My name is not Jacobson."
"May I ask who I'm speaking to, then? Because this is a limited time offer, but it's not exclusive to --"
"This is Detective Emil Dupont with the NOPD. Give me your full name. And state your business with Thomas Jacobson."
"Um... Sir ... Officer ... I..."
"Detective."
"Yeah... Detective. Detective, I'm just a telemarketer. I'm not even in New Orleans. I don't even know this guy. Um... What kind of detective are you?"
"Homicide."
"Oh my God! Oh, my God! Did he get killed? Killed? Oh, my God!"
"Full name. Now."
"Randy... Randall Ryleigh. But I'm in Los Angeles. I... In California! I'm not there. I've never even been to New Orleans! I'm here...."
"We have already started a trace on this line. I'll know in about three seconds whether you're telling me the truth, where you are, and what role you played in this murder."
"Murder? Murder? Man, I'm just trying to sell time-shares! ... Hello? Detective? Are you there?"
"Your number came back as a LA number. Don't leave the city, Mr. Ryleigh. We'll be in touch if we need you or if you tie into this in any way. Know this -- the LAPD is keeping tabs on you. This murder seems to be part of a crime spree that stretches across the country. If you're implicated in any way, you'll be picked up. Do you understand?
"Oh, my God! I'm not involved! A crime spree? I never even had a parking ticket!"
"Do you understand? I expect an answer. "
"Oh, um... Yes, sir. Yes, Detective. I won't leave LA. I'll provide any information I can, but I don't know anything! I don't have any information for you!"
"We'll be in touch."
"Okay, um... Good-bye?'
"Goodbye."
"Ha! Did he fall for all that?"
"Oh, man! That was amazing!"
"Thomas Jacobson, you're such a jerk! That guy nearly peed his pants!"
"True. But I bet he never calls here again."
"I bet he never makes another phone call again, ever! And I bet he quits his job!"
"Maybe... Hey, turn the TV back up and pass the nachos, will ya'? Thanks, hon."
"Hello."
"Hello! Mr. Jacobson?"
"Who's calling?"
"Hello, Mr. Jacobson! My name is Randy, and I'm glad that I caught you home!"
"Hmm..."
"This is your lucky day, sir!"
"Probably not..."
"I'm calling today to offer you a wonderful deal on a--"
"I need your name. Your full name."
"Who I am is not as important as what I can offer you, Mr. Jacobson!"
"My name is not Jacobson."
"May I ask who I'm speaking to, then? Because this is a limited time offer, but it's not exclusive to --"
"This is Detective Emil Dupont with the NOPD. Give me your full name. And state your business with Thomas Jacobson."
"Um... Sir ... Officer ... I..."
"Detective."
"Yeah... Detective. Detective, I'm just a telemarketer. I'm not even in New Orleans. I don't even know this guy. Um... What kind of detective are you?"
"Homicide."
"Oh my God! Oh, my God! Did he get killed? Killed? Oh, my God!"
"Full name. Now."
"Randy... Randall Ryleigh. But I'm in Los Angeles. I... In California! I'm not there. I've never even been to New Orleans! I'm here...."
"We have already started a trace on this line. I'll know in about three seconds whether you're telling me the truth, where you are, and what role you played in this murder."
"Murder? Murder? Man, I'm just trying to sell time-shares! ... Hello? Detective? Are you there?"
"Your number came back as a LA number. Don't leave the city, Mr. Ryleigh. We'll be in touch if we need you or if you tie into this in any way. Know this -- the LAPD is keeping tabs on you. This murder seems to be part of a crime spree that stretches across the country. If you're implicated in any way, you'll be picked up. Do you understand?
"Oh, my God! I'm not involved! A crime spree? I never even had a parking ticket!"
"Do you understand? I expect an answer. "
"Oh, um... Yes, sir. Yes, Detective. I won't leave LA. I'll provide any information I can, but I don't know anything! I don't have any information for you!"
"We'll be in touch."
"Okay, um... Good-bye?'
"Goodbye."
"Ha! Did he fall for all that?"
"Oh, man! That was amazing!"
"Thomas Jacobson, you're such a jerk! That guy nearly peed his pants!"
"True. But I bet he never calls here again."
"I bet he never makes another phone call again, ever! And I bet he quits his job!"
"Maybe... Hey, turn the TV back up and pass the nachos, will ya'? Thanks, hon."
"Hello! Mr. Jacobson?"
"Who's calling?"
"Hello, Mr. Jacobson! My name is Randy, and I'm glad that I caught you home!"
"Hmm..."
"This is your lucky day, sir!"
"Probably not..."
"I'm calling today to offer you a wonderful deal on a--"
"I need your name. Your full name."
"Who I am is not as important as what I can offer you, Mr. Jacobson!"
"My name is not Jacobson."
"May I ask who I'm speaking to, then? Because this is a limited time offer, but it's not exclusive to --"
"This is Detective Emil Dupont with the NOPD. Give me your full name. And state your business with Thomas Jacobson."
"Um... Sir ... Officer ... I..."
"Detective."
"Yeah... Detective. Detective, I'm just a telemarketer. I'm not even in New Orleans. I don't even know this guy. Um... What kind of detective are you?"
"Homicide."
"Oh my God! Oh, my God! Did he get killed? Killed? Oh, my God!"
"Full name. Now."
"Randy... Randall Ryleigh. But I'm in Los Angeles. I... In California! I'm not there. I've never even been to New Orleans! I'm here...."
"We have already started a trace on this line. I'll know in about three seconds whether you're telling me the truth, where you are, and what role you played in this murder."
"Murder? Murder? Man, I'm just trying to sell time-shares! ... Hello? Detective? Are you there?"
"Your number came back as a LA number. Don't leave the city, Mr. Ryleigh. We'll be in touch if we need you or if you tie into this in any way. Know this -- the LAPD is keeping tabs on you. This murder seems to be part of a crime spree that stretches across the country. If you're implicated in any way, you'll be picked up. Do you understand?
"Oh, my God! I'm not involved! A crime spree? I never even had a parking ticket!"
"Do you understand? I expect an answer. "
"Oh, um... Yes, sir. Yes, Detective. I won't leave LA. I'll provide any information I can, but I don't know anything! I don't have any information for you!"
"We'll be in touch."
"Okay, um... Good-bye?'
"Goodbye."
"Ha! Did he fall for all that?"
"Oh, man! That was amazing!"
"Thomas Jacobson, you're such a jerk! That guy nearly peed his pants!"
"True. But I bet he never calls here again."
"I bet he never makes another phone call again, ever! And I bet he quits his job!"
"Maybe... Hey, turn the TV back up and pass the nachos, will ya'? Thanks, hon."
Dialogue Only Writing Contest Contest Winner |
 Recognized |
Who HASN'T wanted to do this!
I did upload an audio file, if you'd like to hear my really BAD (sort of) New Jerseyaccent and my so-so Southern girl accent. lol
The spacing is intended to visually represent new speakers. Is it distracting? :)
And, my apologies if you work telemarketing. I did once during my stint in college. I'm just glad I wasn't accused of MURDER!
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. I did upload an audio file, if you'd like to hear my really BAD (sort of) New Jerseyaccent and my so-so Southern girl accent. lol
The spacing is intended to visually represent new speakers. Is it distracting? :)
And, my apologies if you work telemarketing. I did once during my stint in college. I'm just glad I wasn't accused of MURDER!
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