| Humor Fiction posted August 7, 2021 |
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Finally, a subject I could have a PhD in!
Relaxation Day My Way
by Reese Turner
Having been fully retired for six years,
Relaxation has become my way of life.
In fact, the only stress and hard labor
For me is that dished out by my wife.
So, a fully, completely relaxed day
Would have to mean that I must go
To a place where my wife is not
To a place she would not know.
My golf course is always a favorite
But, she would surely find me there.
Anyway, making putts is stressful,
As is just finding my ball… somewhere…
I could not go to a picture show, no,
The movies nowadays are upsetting…
I could not relax at a mall with crowds.
No horses! Who can relax when betting?
Watch TV? You’re kidding, of course!
No politics, crime shows or HGTV!
Now that many athletes are kneeling,
Sports are now frustrating for me…
But, wait; My old text books from college
I’ll place Beowulf and Eco-One by my bed
No need to read them, seeing them will do -
I’ll be so relaxed, I’ll appear to be dead.
Relaxation Day contest entry
Having been fully retired for six years,
Relaxation has become my way of life.
In fact, the only stress and hard labor
For me is that dished out by my wife.
So, a fully, completely relaxed day
Would have to mean that I must go
To a place where my wife is not
To a place she would not know.
My golf course is always a favorite
But, she would surely find me there.
Anyway, making putts is stressful,
As is just finding my ball… somewhere…
I could not go to a picture show, no,
The movies nowadays are upsetting…
I could not relax at a mall with crowds.
No horses! Who can relax when betting?
Watch TV? You’re kidding, of course!
No politics, crime shows or HGTV!
Now that many athletes are kneeling,
Sports are now frustrating for me…
But, wait; My old text books from college
I’ll place Beowulf and Eco-One by my bed
No need to read them, seeing them will do -
I’ll be so relaxed, I’ll appear to be dead.
I've known people who said, "I'm busier now than when I worked full time!" To which I answer, "You're nuts!" A warning, however, do not buy an RV to travel in search of relaxation. There's always something to fix or to worry about. I olve our motorhome, but it ain't for the relaxation!
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