Good morning, Honey, 

I can see you smiling and saying, “Good morning, Gorgeous. Have I told you I love you today?” I can’t help but laugh, just like I did every other morning. Laughter was the binding glue that held our love together through the rough times.

I miss so much about us, but starting the day is the biggest. Now, I sit on the deck with my coffee, the pups at my feet, and watch the river drift past. As the sun rises (yes, I still get up that early), it’s a special time. The birds, my beautiful red cardinals, are flying around, and the sparrows are chirping their songs. It’s so peaceful. It’s my time to talk to the Lord because I know there’s no sense in trying to speak to you in the morning. I know how easily you can tune me out, so I should converse with someone who always listens.

It was cold out there this morning. Don’t be rolling your eyes because I was shivering. There was a haze of steam hanging like a blanket over the water. Yesterday, it was 90, and this morning, it was 45 degrees. I grabbed one of your old flannels from the closet (yes, two or three of your favorites still hang there). They are my security blankets at times. I can feel your arms around me, and it’s good.

I suppose you wonder why I am writing a letter since I talk to you all the time. When we have a conversation (well, I talk and you listen… isn’t that awesome?) I get all emotional about missing you. In a letter, I thought I could tell you things (which you probably already know since you’re in heaven and know everything…. Whoa! That just bounced around your brain, didn’t it?) I take it back! You think you know everything. (Smiles)

In a letter, I can pretend life is normal. I was so unprepared to be alone. Wait! Wait! I can hear you telling me how strong I am and how I can get through anything. I’m not talking about that stuff. It’s the everyday things. Even when you were sick, you still would remind me to get the oil changed in the truck, make sure the garbage cans were out at the road, put the Rid-X in the septic tank, wash the car because the birds think it’s their private commode, and a million other everyday things. I know I always answered, “I know. I know.”, but we both understood - I didn’t. 

The riding lawn mower stopped doing its job. I think this is where you tell me I need to get on it and start the engine before it runs. Funny! It does run; it just won’t cut the grass. I don’t know how to get it to town to have someone check it out. It’s not like I can just pick it up. I did try the ramps, but there is no way I can push it up into the truck either.

I tried using the self-propelled lawnmower (what a joke! It still won’t go unless I push it. lol), but after dripping with sweat in the heat, I stopped. (Yes, I mowed more than one strip - haha!) Then I tried the new gas weed wacker. The truth is, I couldn’t figure out how to start it. Kind of like the snowblower where you had to walk me through it step by step. I learn by visual, I guess.

I used the small electric one and pulled some weeds by hand, but I’m not going to do an acre of land. So when you are watching over us, please ignore the weeds.

But, be sure to take time to admire your roses. The entire front patio is blooming in bright red knock-out roses. I remember how you liked them at the doctor’s office, and I surprised you with rows of tiny plants. Now they are huge and stunning. I smile every time I step outside the door. It’s a part of you! They smell much better, though. LOL, I hope you still have your sense of humor. I imagine you do because that’s what makes you so unique. You probably have the other angels rolling in the clouds.

Oh, I didn’t mention my stories. I know I’ve told you I’m writing again. I promised I would, didn’t I? I have finished (well, I have to polish it up and not with furniture oil) one book and am writing another one. It’s not as easy as it used to be. The old brain doesn’t always think as it should. I’ve got the story, but it’s all the technical stuff. I do have some awesome friends who do their best to steer me in the right direction, but I feel bad that this English Major’s brain has so much dust on it, I forget what I know I should know. Can I get a B+ for trying, at least?

I am not going to write a lot today because I don’t want to keep you from your sacred duties. I hope you aren’t in charge of keeping people out of trouble because we both know that wasn’t one of your specialties, especially in your younger days. I don’t think it would be wise to encourage the guys to follow in your footsteps, if you know what I mean. They may not be as lucky to have a “sweet angelic” woman like me to put you on the straight and narrow. Okay, quit laughing.

I feel good about this letter. The anniversary of you leaving me is fast approaching, and I am doing my best to deal with it. Imagining you reading this letter has put a smile on my face. Okay, so tears are streaming down my face. I forgot you can see everything now. 

I love you and miss you every second of my day and night. We both know how blessed we were to have the time we had together. Eight years of the doctors saying there was no way you’d come out of the hospital this time, but you did! We were quite a team. Of course, that’s because I was at the helm. LOL

On that note, I will say goodbye and talk to you soon. Yes, the letters are great, but I still need to raise my voice sometimes… even though you probably roll your eyes and tune me out. I like to let off steam!

Until we meet at heaven’s gates, I hold you in my heart.

Today, Tomorrow and Always,

Your Honey