Humor Fiction posted June 19, 2021

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a contest entry

My Cuz the Detective

by pharp

My Cuzin John was employed as a detective with the

Atlanta Police Deployment; he was well known for solving

high profilled cases.

As years passed by, he could no longer commemorize much

and had to retire on disrebility.

Unfortunately, he never married, had no chillins, and had to live

in a Nursery Home.

So, I was the only family he had.

I enjoyed spending time with him, but he was an hornery old guy.

Poor old soul, he still thinks he is working for the Police Deployment.

So he tries every trick in the book to break out of the Nursery Home.

I try to keep his mind off his old job by spending qualified time with

him every Friday.

So, it's that time again, Friday, my weekly lunch date with Cuzin John.

I was a smichen early pickin him up from the

Keep on Ticking Nursery Home.

He was as contankerous as ever; he was always comfibelating

about not having nough sleep and how I need not pick him up before


Once we arrived at the Cut You Some Slack Restaurant, I was fixin to

sit down;  I looked around and heard Cuzin John screaming from a

distant that he was on duty to solve a case.

At times, I forget I need to keep Cuzin John close by.

Thank God he was well known from way back when, and the

contablishment go along with his deloseument.

Once we were both seated, the waitree came over to take our order.

I always have to remind Cuzin John that he is diabetical and he must be

careful when placing his order. We don't' need his sugary levels to go up.

He gave me one of his dismeanful looks and placed his order. I believe in

his mind he thinks that I am the emmy.

He ordered Chicken Parmejohn with Perrymason cheese,

Rushgarden Salad, and Garlic bread.

He often gets ennoyed because he has to pay for lunch, so today I decided

I would only order a glass of white wine, "Chardenay."

Cuzin John doesn't like talking very much, but I decided to strike up a

conversation anyways.

I asked him how was his stay at the Keep on Ticking Nursery Home.

He responded by saying, "it's ticking." I thought his answer to be

quite grude and short; it was apparent that he was not up for having

a chatty day.

After eatin lunch, Cuzin John was ready to go back to the Nursery Home.

Before leaving, I looked for the waitree so that I could leave her a

big tip.

When I found her, I told her to look for another job; I thought I was

cutting her some slack; that was my tip for the day!

Cuzin John is back at the Keep On Ticking Nursery Home, making plans

to break out to solve more High Profilled cases.

See you next Friday, cuz!


Waiter, There's A Spy in My Soup contest entry

My cousin really was a well-known detective with the Atlanta Police Department. He was responsible for helping solve two high profiled cases in Atlanta, Georgia.
He passed in 2016 peacefully surrounded by many loved ones.

His name was not John, and he never lived in a nursing home.

Be kind, my second time trying to write something, I stick to poems that rhyme.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by supergold at

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