| Satire Fiction posted May 5, 2021 | Chapters: |
...103 104 -105- 106... 
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needle down
A chapter in the book The Corona saga
Jabbed
by Iza Deleanu
Hurray, I got freaking jabbed. I didn't really want it and I prayed to God to give me every excuse to escape le needle, but it didn't worked. I was so tired of being bullied at work because I didn't have my vaccination. So, yesterday I called my Boss and asked her nicely to stop discussing my vaccination situation in meetings. First of all the medical affair is my own business, and second we are in Canada so you get jabbed when you are qualified. We are not in America where everybody is welcomed with a Margarita and a steak after the jab, or in Romania where you get three shots at every corner.
Then, gracefully I shared my screen and showed her the Alberta government site that shows that the jaba-jo business stops at 1971, since I am not a fossilize-r like her, I needed to wait for my age group somewhere... August, maybe?
The only one in the free range category is Astra Zeneca which was not recommended for moia, because I am a female and not good for my Thyroid condition. So I started doing my research, and went to see my doctor who has strongly recommended Moderna. Yup, I preferred the "third eye", than being a Pfizer modified homo sapiens if you know what I mean. There are some funny posts on Facebook about the side effects of different vaccinations in the near future, so Moderna is my preferred choice.
You know me, I am a charming kitty, so I got a letter from my doctor that strongly recommends Moderna. Then I went on the provincial website for Coronella. Kudos to them: you can select the vaccine by city and type of vaccine. I found out that there are fifty three pharmacies in Edmonton that are offering currently Moderna in the province. So I started calling left and right and see if I could fool the system and jump the line. I know it's not nice, but let's not forget I am working with a bunch of freaks, so in my defence I used this as an "argument".
On the first call; I was honest I told them that I have a thyroid condition aka eighty percent is gone. Surprise, I am not medically qualified to go under that line; if I had asthma, cancer, heart attack, diabetes... I could sneak in. Well, thanks to God I don't have any of that. To tell you the truth I will not compromise my health just to get the vaccine. There must be another way to get in the "privileged circle".
For the next one, I played the cheating game: I told them that I have Asthma. The bastards checked my medical records and there was no inhalator on my medication list. I told the pharmacist that I got the inhalers from the doctor, which was not a lie. I got them for my cold, but I never used them because I am too chicken to try "new things" so I just suffered in silence. So it was a nay and a spot on the waiting list for a maybe later alligator.
On the third one, I told them that I am working for the Police. I am working, well not as a Police Officer, but civilian, but what the hell; for once the Police card should bring me some "justice". I explained that I deal with files for the court, half-truth; I might have occasionally files like this, but not on a daily basis. Anyway, they bought it and asked me to bring an ID that proves that I work there. Finally, some light, because I do have an ID. Hurray, for waiting for a few hours when I got hired to get this precious door opener.
So, today I got the jab and nobody asked me about any proof. I guess God blindsided them, or my kitty and giggly personality won the pharmacist over, that he forgot about that small thing. The other explanation is: we live in Canada and they believe anything you say, eh?
I just think that God shielded me to spare me the grief of being bullied, so now I am officially genetically modified and I see everythingggggggggggg! Side effects? Well, I slept like a baby after the shot which was welcomed since I have not closed an eye since Saturday. Damn it, Ms. Coronella, you made me be part of the sheep, welcome to equality. Man, I am microchipped! The second shot? Remember August? Yup, that's when I will get it around twenty-four, of course if I will not get it first in Romania, since I pray to be able to visit at the end of July.
For now, we have been "blessed" with a third wave and we went back in full locked-down! Go figure! So just pray, live and be merry and believe in the extraordinary!
Then, gracefully I shared my screen and showed her the Alberta government site that shows that the jaba-jo business stops at 1971, since I am not a fossilize-r like her, I needed to wait for my age group somewhere... August, maybe?
The only one in the free range category is Astra Zeneca which was not recommended for moia, because I am a female and not good for my Thyroid condition. So I started doing my research, and went to see my doctor who has strongly recommended Moderna. Yup, I preferred the "third eye", than being a Pfizer modified homo sapiens if you know what I mean. There are some funny posts on Facebook about the side effects of different vaccinations in the near future, so Moderna is my preferred choice.
You know me, I am a charming kitty, so I got a letter from my doctor that strongly recommends Moderna. Then I went on the provincial website for Coronella. Kudos to them: you can select the vaccine by city and type of vaccine. I found out that there are fifty three pharmacies in Edmonton that are offering currently Moderna in the province. So I started calling left and right and see if I could fool the system and jump the line. I know it's not nice, but let's not forget I am working with a bunch of freaks, so in my defence I used this as an "argument".
On the first call; I was honest I told them that I have a thyroid condition aka eighty percent is gone. Surprise, I am not medically qualified to go under that line; if I had asthma, cancer, heart attack, diabetes... I could sneak in. Well, thanks to God I don't have any of that. To tell you the truth I will not compromise my health just to get the vaccine. There must be another way to get in the "privileged circle".
For the next one, I played the cheating game: I told them that I have Asthma. The bastards checked my medical records and there was no inhalator on my medication list. I told the pharmacist that I got the inhalers from the doctor, which was not a lie. I got them for my cold, but I never used them because I am too chicken to try "new things" so I just suffered in silence. So it was a nay and a spot on the waiting list for a maybe later alligator.
On the third one, I told them that I am working for the Police. I am working, well not as a Police Officer, but civilian, but what the hell; for once the Police card should bring me some "justice". I explained that I deal with files for the court, half-truth; I might have occasionally files like this, but not on a daily basis. Anyway, they bought it and asked me to bring an ID that proves that I work there. Finally, some light, because I do have an ID. Hurray, for waiting for a few hours when I got hired to get this precious door opener.
So, today I got the jab and nobody asked me about any proof. I guess God blindsided them, or my kitty and giggly personality won the pharmacist over, that he forgot about that small thing. The other explanation is: we live in Canada and they believe anything you say, eh?
I just think that God shielded me to spare me the grief of being bullied, so now I am officially genetically modified and I see everythingggggggggggg! Side effects? Well, I slept like a baby after the shot which was welcomed since I have not closed an eye since Saturday. Damn it, Ms. Coronella, you made me be part of the sheep, welcome to equality. Man, I am microchipped! The second shot? Remember August? Yup, that's when I will get it around twenty-four, of course if I will not get it first in Romania, since I pray to be able to visit at the end of July.
For now, we have been "blessed" with a third wave and we went back in full locked-down! Go figure! So just pray, live and be merry and believe in the extraordinary!
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