Here we are, our glorious Spring
With windows open wide
And the screens do keep bugs out
But, all windows aside,
 
The half a second that it takes
To walk out of the door,
These insect creatures race inside
Dispersing by the score.
 
I go to wipe some “pepper” off
The kitchen counter top
The “pepper” flies up in my face
I thought my heart would stop.
 
My glass of water I put down—
A gnat sits on the rim,
A swatter would knock over glass
It’s just a game to him.
 
Gnats fly at the speed of sound
And gravitate to plate
Upon which my nice dinner sits,
 My warp speed hand’s too late
 
I wave them off, and finally
I take my plate and go
Into my office, close the door,
Ah… gnatless… but no,
 
They have morphed. They’re everywhere
And so, I go outside.
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em
(But I took insecticide!!)
 
They must have spread the word
About their easy target, me,
For their mosquito cousins
Came immediately to see.
 
But I have news for them
(Aside from trusty insect spray)
Mosquitos do not bother me
I don’t know why, but hey…
 
A breeze…oh, joy, has just come up
And dutifully has blown
My insect friends away so I
Can call my meal, my own.
 
I can’t help but be curious
About the freeze we had—
That freak freeze killing all my plants
And no heat; it was bad.
 
I’d always heard it’d kill the bugs
A freeze’s saving grace,
But it didn’t, and I think
Next time, I’m getting mace!
 
 
Of course, you know that half the fun
Of writing fiction is
The freedom to exaggerate:
(it’s “creative show-biz”)