| Biographical Non-Fiction posted March 23, 2021 | Chapters: |
...108 109 -110- 111... 
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Couple need to agree on certain things.
A chapter in the book Remembering Yesterday
Money Matters of Concern
by BethShelby
For new readers, who may not have read my author notes, this is written in a conversational way as I talk to my deceased husband. When I refer to someone just as "you" this means I am addressing my husband, Evan.
In late April of 1989, I went to work one morning and learned that my company had decided to lay off a lot more people. Apparently, no one was safe from having their jobs ripped away. The department supervisor of my section, Ned, was one of the latest victims. He had worked for this company for years, and he was quite capable of handling his job. I really liked Ned and got along with him well, without having to worry about him liking me as anything other than a co-worker. He was a decent guy, and he was the only one who knew sign language well to communicate with Curtis. Both Curtis and Janice, the only two others in our department, were both looking for jobs elsewhere.
I believed the only reason the company let him go was because his salary had increased over the years to more than they wanted to pay. Since I was new, my salary wasn’t nearly as much, so I was the only one left who knew how to do the work required for getting jobs ready for the press. There were four or five other people who were also laid off. My job didn’t feel very secure, but I didn’t worry, because I had never had a problem finding a job.
Connie’s friend, Valerie, was hired at Silver Spoon, the ice cream parlor where Connie was starting to work. Connie had another friend named Heather. After she became good friends with her, Valerie got upset, and she and Connie stopped speaking for a while. Since they both would be working for the same company, it was a good thing it was only temporary. There is something about girls that age that makes them very territorial about their other friends. Before the month was up, Connie and Valerie were best friends again.
Connie was on the school gymnastic team at Collegedale Academy. She really enjoyed gymnastics and was very good at it. If she’d started earlier, she might have been able to compete for the Olympics. She had the body type that seemed suited for the sport. The class had their gymnastic show, and we were impressed with her performance.
When Connie’s school semester ended in May, she passed all her classes except Spanish. She had given up on that several months before. She was trying a little harder to improve her grades. One night, she actually stayed up until three in the morning, because she had a science exam coming up.
Kimberly made a trip to New Orleans, and she took her mother, Jane, and Connie along with her. Connie was able to stay with her friend, Leslie, for the week that they were there. Because of the trip, we had to celebrate Connie's sixteenth birthday early. Kimberly went there to learn a new technique for playing piano. Kimberly could already play well, but this involved learning to play by ear. Kimberly thought she might want to teach this technique to others.
******
Your sister, Helen, wasn’t doing well. We weren’t sure what was wrong. She had suffered with the flu, but she didn’t seem to be getting better and ended up in the hospital. She had a minor stroke. She claimed that she nearly died and saw herself going through a tunnel toward a light. She said it seemed so peaceful that she would never fear dying again.
Your brother, Rhomas, came to visit us in February. He hadn’t been able to work for quite a while. After he and Shirley split up, he bought a house and moved to Newton, where your mother and Helen lived. He’d had a heart attack and gone through bypass surgery. He had spent his time without a job, growing a garden. Since he was a project engineer by trade, jobs he had only lasted until the project was completed. He had finally found work again on an engineering project in North Carolina. This meant he would be out of town for most of the year. He didn’t know it at the time, but this would be the last job he would ever have.
Your younger sister, Nan, and her husband, Richard, paid us a visit, as well. It was the first time they visited after we moved to Tennessee. They stayed overnight and headed for the Smoky Mountains for a camping trip. After their trip to the mountains, they came back to our house and spent another night. You and I were the only ones in the family who could get along with Richard.
Richard’s cocky personality clashed with so many people. I thought he was an interesting person, even if he was a know-it-all. He wrote a weekly fishing column for the Gulfport newspaper, and Nan told us that he had written a detective novel, although he was never able to get it published. He and Nan were both involved in Little Theater, and their son, Kelly, had starred in Oliver Twist.
Richard insisted on cooking supper for us after they came back from their camping trip. He made a spaghetti supper, and his sauce was delicious. We had a pleasant visit with them, but later something happened that wasn’t so pleasant. Their visit was in April, but a few months later we got word that Richard had lost his job. When Carol found out, she wanted to help. Often Carol had to work on the weekends and wasn’t able to go to church. Missing church in order to work made her feel that this money wasn’t hers to keep, so she put that money back to use for helping others.
We learned that Nan and Richard were in Chapter 11 bankruptcy, partially due to their son, Kelly, who was a couple of years older than Connie, having had a wreck without being insured. The other problem was that they had never learned to manage money. They lived with Richard’s father, who had supported them until he died. Nan had been a music teacher, until the school discontinued the music program. After that, she taught in elementary school for a while but had given that up for an accounting job.
Richard had spent a fortune on a sailboat and an antique car which he showed in car shows. He also had a room full of model trains, expensive cameras, computers, tropical saltwater fish and many other kinds of luxuries. In the past, they had asked us to lend them money which amounted to thousands, which they were never able to repay.
When Carol learned about their problem, she decided she wanted Nan to have the money, which she was holding to help others. She didn’t want Nan to know it came from her, so she asked you to send it to her, as if it came from you. You tried to call Nan at her job, so you could send it there. It was then that you learned that Nan had lost her job as well. Knowing how you were always willing to help your family, I asked if you had added to the money Carol gave you. You became irritated with me for asking and told me that you didn’t want to talk about it.
It really bothered me when you did things that you didn’t want me to know about. You had given both Nan and Helen money before. without telling me. It seemed to me, since I was the only one working and our son was having some serious money problems himself, at least we could discuss things like that before you acted. You accused me of being stingy with money, but you finally admitted that you had sent Carol’s money and had added several hundred dollars of our money, as well.
I admitted that I was extremely conservative with money. I never bought anything unless it was on sale. I put off visits to doctors and dentists because of the expense. We never ate at expensive restaurants, and I drove out of my way to save a few cents on gasoline. No matter how tired I was, if the opportunity arose, I worked overtime, because you were still too young to draw Social Security, and I was afraid that what we had in CDs wouldn’t last as long as we would need it.
You had always pinched pennies yourself. I think you felt guilty for being able to retire at 56 and live in a nice house. We had a great relationship, and we didn’t disagree about many things, but more than anything else, I had a problem with the side of you that wanted to keep me in the dark about anything that I might have a problem with.
This is Us:
Evan is 59 and a retired drafting supervisor from Chevron Oil.
Beth is 51 and has had a variety of jobs. She is presently working a new job with a local printing company.
Carol is 28, a nurse at Florida Hospital in Orlando. She is married and living in Florida.
Glen Egolf is Carol’s husband. He is 25 and soon will get his nursing degree from Southern College in Orlando.
Don is a twin. He is 26 and starting Life Chiropractic College for the spring semester.
Christi is Don’s twin/ She has a new job as receptionist.
Kimberly Dye is Don’s girlfriend. She is a nurse and is living in an apartment and working at Valley Hospital.
Connie is our youngest daughter. She is fifteen. She is in her second year of high school.
Other mentioned are Evan's sibblings: Helen, Rhomas, and Nan. Richard, is Nan's husband.
Valerie, Heather, and Lesley: Connie's friends.
For new readers, who may not have read my author notes, this is written in a conversational way as I talk to my deceased husband. When I refer to someone just as "you" this means I am addressing my husband, Evan.
In late April of 1989, I went to work one morning and learned that my company had decided to lay off a lot more people. Apparently, no one was safe from having their jobs ripped away. The department supervisor of my section, Ned, was one of the latest victims. He had worked for this company for years, and he was quite capable of handling his job. I really liked Ned and got along with him well, without having to worry about him liking me as anything other than a co-worker. He was a decent guy, and he was the only one who knew sign language well to communicate with Curtis. Both Curtis and Janice, the only two others in our department, were both looking for jobs elsewhere.
I believed the only reason the company let him go was because his salary had increased over the years to more than they wanted to pay. Since I was new, my salary wasn’t nearly as much, so I was the only one left who knew how to do the work required for getting jobs ready for the press. There were four or five other people who were also laid off. My job didn’t feel very secure, but I didn’t worry, because I had never had a problem finding a job.
Connie’s friend, Valerie, was hired at Silver Spoon, the ice cream parlor where Connie was starting to work. Connie had another friend named Heather. After she became good friends with her, Valerie got upset, and she and Connie stopped speaking for a while. Since they both would be working for the same company, it was a good thing it was only temporary. There is something about girls that age that makes them very territorial about their other friends. Before the month was up, Connie and Valerie were best friends again.
Connie was on the school gymnastic team at Collegedale Academy. She really enjoyed gymnastics and was very good at it. If she’d started earlier, she might have been able to compete for the Olympics. She had the body type that seemed suited for the sport. The class had their gymnastic show, and we were impressed with her performance.
When Connie’s school semester ended in May, she passed all her classes except Spanish. She had given up on that several months before. She was trying a little harder to improve her grades. One night, she actually stayed up until three in the morning, because she had a science exam coming up.
Kimberly made a trip to New Orleans, and she took her mother, Jane, and Connie along with her. Connie was able to stay with her friend, Leslie, for the week that they were there. Because of the trip, we had to celebrate Connie's sixteenth birthday early. Kimberly went there to learn a new technique for playing piano. Kimberly could already play well, but this involved learning to play by ear. Kimberly thought she might want to teach this technique to others.
******
Your sister, Helen, wasn’t doing well. We weren’t sure what was wrong. She had suffered with the flu, but she didn’t seem to be getting better and ended up in the hospital. She had a minor stroke. She claimed that she nearly died and saw herself going through a tunnel toward a light. She said it seemed so peaceful that she would never fear dying again.
Your brother, Rhomas, came to visit us in February. He hadn’t been able to work for quite a while. After he and Shirley split up, he bought a house and moved to Newton, where your mother and Helen lived. He’d had a heart attack and gone through bypass surgery. He had spent his time without a job, growing a garden. Since he was a project engineer by trade, jobs he had only lasted until the project was completed. He had finally found work again on an engineering project in North Carolina. This meant he would be out of town for most of the year. He didn’t know it at the time, but this would be the last job he would ever have.
Your younger sister, Nan, and her husband, Richard, paid us a visit, as well. It was the first time they visited after we moved to Tennessee. They stayed overnight and headed for the Smoky Mountains for a camping trip. After their trip to the mountains, they came back to our house and spent another night. You and I were the only ones in the family who could get along with Richard.
Richard’s cocky personality clashed with so many people. I thought he was an interesting person, even if he was a know-it-all. He wrote a weekly fishing column for the Gulfport newspaper, and Nan told us that he had written a detective novel, although he was never able to get it published. He and Nan were both involved in Little Theater, and their son, Kelly, had starred in Oliver Twist.
Richard insisted on cooking supper for us after they came back from their camping trip. He made a spaghetti supper, and his sauce was delicious. We had a pleasant visit with them, but later something happened that wasn’t so pleasant. Their visit was in April, but a few months later we got word that Richard had lost his job. When Carol found out, she wanted to help. Often Carol had to work on the weekends and wasn’t able to go to church. Missing church in order to work made her feel that this money wasn’t hers to keep, so she put that money back to use for helping others.
We learned that Nan and Richard were in Chapter 11 bankruptcy, partially due to their son, Kelly, who was a couple of years older than Connie, having had a wreck without being insured. The other problem was that they had never learned to manage money. They lived with Richard’s father, who had supported them until he died. Nan had been a music teacher, until the school discontinued the music program. After that, she taught in elementary school for a while but had given that up for an accounting job.
Richard had spent a fortune on a sailboat and an antique car which he showed in car shows. He also had a room full of model trains, expensive cameras, computers, tropical saltwater fish and many other kinds of luxuries. In the past, they had asked us to lend them money which amounted to thousands, which they were never able to repay.
When Carol learned about their problem, she decided she wanted Nan to have the money, which she was holding to help others. She didn’t want Nan to know it came from her, so she asked you to send it to her, as if it came from you. You tried to call Nan at her job, so you could send it there. It was then that you learned that Nan had lost her job as well. Knowing how you were always willing to help your family, I asked if you had added to the money Carol gave you. You became irritated with me for asking and told me that you didn’t want to talk about it.
It really bothered me when you did things that you didn’t want me to know about. You had given both Nan and Helen money before. without telling me. It seemed to me, since I was the only one working and our son was having some serious money problems himself, at least we could discuss things like that before you acted. You accused me of being stingy with money, but you finally admitted that you had sent Carol’s money and had added several hundred dollars of our money, as well.
I admitted that I was extremely conservative with money. I never bought anything unless it was on sale. I put off visits to doctors and dentists because of the expense. We never ate at expensive restaurants, and I drove out of my way to save a few cents on gasoline. No matter how tired I was, if the opportunity arose, I worked overtime, because you were still too young to draw Social Security, and I was afraid that what we had in CDs wouldn’t last as long as we would need it.
You had always pinched pennies yourself. I think you felt guilty for being able to retire at 56 and live in a nice house. We had a great relationship, and we didn’t disagree about many things, but more than anything else, I had a problem with the side of you that wanted to keep me in the dark about anything that I might have a problem with.
This is Us:
Evan is 59 and a retired drafting supervisor from Chevron Oil.
Beth is 51 and has had a variety of jobs. She is presently working a new job with a local printing company.
Carol is 28, a nurse at Florida Hospital in Orlando. She is married and living in Florida.
Glen Egolf is Carol’s husband. He is 25 and soon will get his nursing degree from Southern College in Orlando.
Don is a twin. He is 26 and starting Life Chiropractic College for the spring semester.
Christi is Don’s twin/ She has a new job as receptionist.
Kimberly Dye is Don’s girlfriend. She is a nurse and is living in an apartment and working at Valley Hospital.
Connie is our youngest daughter. She is fifteen. She is in her second year of high school.
Other mentioned are Evan's sibblings: Helen, Rhomas, and Nan. Richard, is Nan's husband.
Valerie, Heather, and Lesley: Connie's friends.
In late April of 1989, I went to work one morning and learned that my company had decided to lay off a lot more people. Apparently, no one was safe from having their jobs ripped away. The department supervisor of my section, Ned, was one of the latest victims. He had worked for this company for years, and he was quite capable of handling his job. I really liked Ned and got along with him well, without having to worry about him liking me as anything other than a co-worker. He was a decent guy, and he was the only one who knew sign language well to communicate with Curtis. Both Curtis and Janice, the only two others in our department, were both looking for jobs elsewhere.
I believed the only reason the company let him go was because his salary had increased over the years to more than they wanted to pay. Since I was new, my salary wasn’t nearly as much, so I was the only one left who knew how to do the work required for getting jobs ready for the press. There were four or five other people who were also laid off. My job didn’t feel very secure, but I didn’t worry, because I had never had a problem finding a job.
Connie’s friend, Valerie, was hired at Silver Spoon, the ice cream parlor where Connie was starting to work. Connie had another friend named Heather. After she became good friends with her, Valerie got upset, and she and Connie stopped speaking for a while. Since they both would be working for the same company, it was a good thing it was only temporary. There is something about girls that age that makes them very territorial about their other friends. Before the month was up, Connie and Valerie were best friends again.
Connie was on the school gymnastic team at Collegedale Academy. She really enjoyed gymnastics and was very good at it. If she’d started earlier, she might have been able to compete for the Olympics. She had the body type that seemed suited for the sport. The class had their gymnastic show, and we were impressed with her performance.
When Connie’s school semester ended in May, she passed all her classes except Spanish. She had given up on that several months before. She was trying a little harder to improve her grades. One night, she actually stayed up until three in the morning, because she had a science exam coming up.
Kimberly made a trip to New Orleans, and she took her mother, Jane, and Connie along with her. Connie was able to stay with her friend, Leslie, for the week that they were there. Because of the trip, we had to celebrate Connie's sixteenth birthday early. Kimberly went there to learn a new technique for playing piano. Kimberly could already play well, but this involved learning to play by ear. Kimberly thought she might want to teach this technique to others.
******
Your sister, Helen, wasn’t doing well. We weren’t sure what was wrong. She had suffered with the flu, but she didn’t seem to be getting better and ended up in the hospital. She had a minor stroke. She claimed that she nearly died and saw herself going through a tunnel toward a light. She said it seemed so peaceful that she would never fear dying again.
Your brother, Rhomas, came to visit us in February. He hadn’t been able to work for quite a while. After he and Shirley split up, he bought a house and moved to Newton, where your mother and Helen lived. He’d had a heart attack and gone through bypass surgery. He had spent his time without a job, growing a garden. Since he was a project engineer by trade, jobs he had only lasted until the project was completed. He had finally found work again on an engineering project in North Carolina. This meant he would be out of town for most of the year. He didn’t know it at the time, but this would be the last job he would ever have.
Your younger sister, Nan, and her husband, Richard, paid us a visit, as well. It was the first time they visited after we moved to Tennessee. They stayed overnight and headed for the Smoky Mountains for a camping trip. After their trip to the mountains, they came back to our house and spent another night. You and I were the only ones in the family who could get along with Richard.
Richard’s cocky personality clashed with so many people. I thought he was an interesting person, even if he was a know-it-all. He wrote a weekly fishing column for the Gulfport newspaper, and Nan told us that he had written a detective novel, although he was never able to get it published. He and Nan were both involved in Little Theater, and their son, Kelly, had starred in Oliver Twist.
Richard insisted on cooking supper for us after they came back from their camping trip. He made a spaghetti supper, and his sauce was delicious. We had a pleasant visit with them, but later something happened that wasn’t so pleasant. Their visit was in April, but a few months later we got word that Richard had lost his job. When Carol found out, she wanted to help. Often Carol had to work on the weekends and wasn’t able to go to church. Missing church in order to work made her feel that this money wasn’t hers to keep, so she put that money back to use for helping others.
We learned that Nan and Richard were in Chapter 11 bankruptcy, partially due to their son, Kelly, who was a couple of years older than Connie, having had a wreck without being insured. The other problem was that they had never learned to manage money. They lived with Richard’s father, who had supported them until he died. Nan had been a music teacher, until the school discontinued the music program. After that, she taught in elementary school for a while but had given that up for an accounting job.
Richard had spent a fortune on a sailboat and an antique car which he showed in car shows. He also had a room full of model trains, expensive cameras, computers, tropical saltwater fish and many other kinds of luxuries. In the past, they had asked us to lend them money which amounted to thousands, which they were never able to repay.
When Carol learned about their problem, she decided she wanted Nan to have the money, which she was holding to help others. She didn’t want Nan to know it came from her, so she asked you to send it to her, as if it came from you. You tried to call Nan at her job, so you could send it there. It was then that you learned that Nan had lost her job as well. Knowing how you were always willing to help your family, I asked if you had added to the money Carol gave you. You became irritated with me for asking and told me that you didn’t want to talk about it.
It really bothered me when you did things that you didn’t want me to know about. You had given both Nan and Helen money before. without telling me. It seemed to me, since I was the only one working and our son was having some serious money problems himself, at least we could discuss things like that before you acted. You accused me of being stingy with money, but you finally admitted that you had sent Carol’s money and had added several hundred dollars of our money, as well.
I admitted that I was extremely conservative with money. I never bought anything unless it was on sale. I put off visits to doctors and dentists because of the expense. We never ate at expensive restaurants, and I drove out of my way to save a few cents on gasoline. No matter how tired I was, if the opportunity arose, I worked overtime, because you were still too young to draw Social Security, and I was afraid that what we had in CDs wouldn’t last as long as we would need it.
You had always pinched pennies yourself. I think you felt guilty for being able to retire at 56 and live in a nice house. We had a great relationship, and we didn’t disagree about many things, but more than anything else, I had a problem with the side of you that wanted to keep me in the dark about anything that I might have a problem with.
This is Us:
Evan is 59 and a retired drafting supervisor from Chevron Oil.
Beth is 51 and has had a variety of jobs. She is presently working a new job with a local printing company.
Carol is 28, a nurse at Florida Hospital in Orlando. She is married and living in Florida.
Glen Egolf is Carol’s husband. He is 25 and soon will get his nursing degree from Southern College in Orlando.
Don is a twin. He is 26 and starting Life Chiropractic College for the spring semester.
Christi is Don’s twin/ She has a new job as receptionist.
Kimberly Dye is Don’s girlfriend. She is a nurse and is living in an apartment and working at Valley Hospital.
Connie is our youngest daughter. She is fifteen. She is in her second year of high school.
Other mentioned are Evan's sibblings: Helen, Rhomas, and Nan. Richard, is Nan's husband.
Valerie, Heather, and Lesley: Connie's friends.
 Recognized |
I'm continuing to recall memories of life with my deceased husband, Evan, as if I am talking aloud to him. I'm doing this because I want my children to know us as we knew each other and not just as their parents.
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