| Satire Fiction posted March 3, 2021 | Chapters: |
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sorting through
A chapter in the book The Corona saga
Choices
by Iza Deleanu
We are on the second year of Coronella's reign, and now the question is not anymore to get or not to get the shot, but who's, is going to get it and from where?
I want to enlighten you. We have three choices in the USA: Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine, Moderna COVID-19 vaccine, Janssen/Johnson & Johnson COVID-19. Then you are not happy; you can try your luck outside: AstraZeneca-COVID-19 (UK), Sputnik V, EpiVacCorona (made in Russia), CoronaVac, BBIBP-CorV, Convidicea (all made in China), Covaxin (India), JNJ-78436765 (Netherlands). So here you have it: your top ten, ladies and gentlemen.
I am choosing something that I can pronounce, and it's not outdated. Look, people, we are in 2021. Why would I jab myself with an expired 2019 version? Also, I'm not too fond of the numbers on the other choices. How am I going to remember when I go to the clinic to get my self-shot? Please give me a booster of 765 something-something?
I am not a racist, duh, but I will not go with anything produced in China. They put Coronella in charge, so that's a NO!
What can I spell out? Sputnik, yes, sounds like Vodka Absolute and Covaxin. I am sticking with Sputnik, it's easy to remember, and it's from Mother Russia with love. I am staying away from Covaxin because of the CO in it - it reminds me of you know who, and the XIN rings a Beijing in my head, so Sputnik stays to go with me through space.
Oh, I forgot I am in Canada, so my choice is limited between those three from our northern neighbor, talking about copy-cat, meow! Man, no original bone in this country! Please, somebody, bring me a Rasputnik, oops, I mean Sputnik! My treatment to this craziness: Nurse an Absolute, please!
I want to enlighten you. We have three choices in the USA: Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine, Moderna COVID-19 vaccine, Janssen/Johnson & Johnson COVID-19. Then you are not happy; you can try your luck outside: AstraZeneca-COVID-19 (UK), Sputnik V, EpiVacCorona (made in Russia), CoronaVac, BBIBP-CorV, Convidicea (all made in China), Covaxin (India), JNJ-78436765 (Netherlands). So here you have it: your top ten, ladies and gentlemen.
I am choosing something that I can pronounce, and it's not outdated. Look, people, we are in 2021. Why would I jab myself with an expired 2019 version? Also, I'm not too fond of the numbers on the other choices. How am I going to remember when I go to the clinic to get my self-shot? Please give me a booster of 765 something-something?
I am not a racist, duh, but I will not go with anything produced in China. They put Coronella in charge, so that's a NO!
What can I spell out? Sputnik, yes, sounds like Vodka Absolute and Covaxin. I am sticking with Sputnik, it's easy to remember, and it's from Mother Russia with love. I am staying away from Covaxin because of the CO in it - it reminds me of you know who, and the XIN rings a Beijing in my head, so Sputnik stays to go with me through space.
Oh, I forgot I am in Canada, so my choice is limited between those three from our northern neighbor, talking about copy-cat, meow! Man, no original bone in this country! Please, somebody, bring me a Rasputnik, oops, I mean Sputnik! My treatment to this craziness: Nurse an Absolute, please!
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