I think I will begin with a brief comment on a couple of words commonly used in the English language. I will be the first to admit the first is rather intrusive as far as I am concerned, and I truly decline to use it. Having said that I will continue with my two-part story.

When our son was about a year and a half old, he was proud that he could form short sentences. On a Sunday afternoon, while my in-laws were visiting. My father-in-law was a smiling, flexible, pleasant man who ran a local newspaper. He was upper management. My mother-in-law, who I silently thought of as a dragon lady, was a refined lady that wouldn't say 's@%*' (that was the second word) if her mouth was packed full of it.

Anyway, our son came cautiously down the stairs because we had told him and his three-years-older sister that they were not to run when going up or down. He was smiling. When he reached the bottom he calmly stood in front of the four adults and his sister. I noticed that his shirt was mostly tucked in.

He announced, "I went poo and I f(@&#$ the toilet," smiling proudly with his chest puffed out.

Of course, my mother-in-law gasped and fainted, and my father-in law laughed hard enough that he had tears. My husband and I were speechless.

His sister was the only one who said, "It was supposed to be flushed the toilet dummy."

A few years later, my son again, seemed to become obsessed with the word S@%*. Given that they were both in school and I was working full time in nursing, I politely told him that it was not a good word to use in public. I then offered the word 'feces' as a replacement. He thought it was cool to be able to use a grown-up word.

The world once again was right, until I got a call from his teacher. He was being sent home for his frequent use of the word feces, then he decided to explain the word. Not good.

350 words.