A 1990s-era Powerball winner, escaping the city for a monthlong vacation in a reclusive cabin with her dangerously attractive 16-year-old daughter, hires a secretive cat security service to protect her heir from corrosive male influences.

Initially excited to be living authentically off the fossil fuel grid, the daughter's beautiful long hair begins to run into snags as she is forced to attend to cat care. As her dreams of becoming a cosmetology Instagram star fade in the barrage of liberated undercoat clouding the camera lens, a mental health crisis appears imminent. Meanwhile the overfed cats, struggling with high union costs, chase DEI hires of declawed house pussies and barkless Corgis converted to kitties to fill their thinning ranks.

With the camera constantly panning over to an adjacent sloped roof, the felines fail to get the hint. Over the course of several days, a young man of questionable motives and breeding scopes out and eventually rappels into an open cabin window from the adjoining building, making off with the underage daughter after distracting the cats with samples of free herbal "medicine".

A brawl erupts over how the pimply teenager was able to breach the secure perimeter. Was he assisted by one of their own? Will the cats reach the invader in time to scratch out his eyes?


Not for the faint of stomach, this hot up-and-coming elimination challenge set in Disney's new Rainbow Kingdom park will be packed full of Spartacus and Rasputin wannabes. Contestants of diverse ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds will face off in a struggle of endurance. Probing deep into unknown territory, blowing enemy guns, they must use every ounce of their physical conditioning and wits to obliterate defenses and stick tight til the next wave arrives at their rear to relieve them.

Contestants are advised prior to the challenge to abstain from cocaine and adhere to a healthy diet of leafy greens and ginseng.


It's an idyllic summer afternoon along the Gaza Strip. Young Palestinian children frolic in the waves. The water is so warm and inviting that some release the umber bounty of their bladders into the inviting current with nary a thought.

Awakened in the depths by climate warming emissions, a monster rises, drawn to the glint of gold. All bets for a peaceful resolution are off when the Jewfish claims more than its promised pound of flesh.


After facing criticism over the straight-up copies of its live-action remakes of animated originals, and a barrage of public backlash from leaked previews, Disney reached a solution: remove humans entirely.

In this long-awaited refreshment of its outdated and toxic original technicolor film, Disney's all-new reality TV documentary follows seven diverse breeds of dogs delicately depositing turds in the snow and returning to eat them as poopsicles.

To entertain children and reconstruct a culturally updated version of its 1940 debut publicity stunt, Disney will rent an artificial snowmaker and hire miniature dogs to cavort about the entrance to the Cinderella Castle, where they will be plied with unlimited free Starbucks lattes to speed up the action.


On the desert planet of TatooInk, a young demimale model with big dreams struggles with limited dermatology access. After discovering a giant star-shaped wart on their upper left butt cheek, our protagonist Duke joins forces with buddies Oxi-Wad, Hand Solo, and his side-squeeze Whoopee. Join Duke and their friends as they embark on an adventure to defeat the star wart before it metastasizes and destroys their universe.

After an initial victory, Duke's quest for universal skincare coverage is denied by a conservative judge who freezes their GoFundMe account, sending them back to first base in

Duke suffers a further setback in when a new deadly star wart sprouts on their hand, setting up for a modeling rivalry between them and Hand Solo. Will a dermatologist arrive in time to forestall an amputation?


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BEST OF THE REST
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in an indoor nature preserve high atop a transparent glass building in Disney Dubai, photographers capture conflicts of the deer mating season in search of the father of next year's Sky Walkers.

Visit Disney's new participatory Halloween house of horrors. Join animatronic Greta Thunberg's army of climate change crusaders in a hostile takeover of a Libertarian dairy farm. Contestants will forcibly fit protesting real-life bovines with tube-venting N-95s to capture their emissions and score the most points. Winners receive gourmet Kobe steaks.