Last week when I shat on the john
I thought about voting for Ron
he acted robotic
and homoerotic
with testicles tied to Tehran







When pigs at the party got sticky
I thought about voting for Nikki
she just didn't seem calm
and she wanted to bomb --
I escaped with a hot honey hickey







At snacktime I called for my mommy
and briefly recalled Ramiswamy
his body looked smooth
though his lines were as sooth-
ing as spoonfuls of spoilt Umami







At the drive-thru for Ronald McDonald
I thought about voting for Donald
the perfect white night,
at first he felt right
'til he gobbled until he was cobbled







Last night when I snorted some blow
I thought about voting for Joe
I tried to count sheep
with little Bo Peep








In search of historical remedy
I thought about voting for Kennedy
his abs looked real hot
but his voice was so shot
that I wonder about his identity







I made up my mind in Manila
My vote this year won't be vanilla
He's burly and black
And I cannot go back




***