WARNING: for heathen adults, not for children. Seriously, these nursery rhymes about bananas are extremely messed up. You have been warned!

Hannah Montana
sat on a banana
eating her Christmas pie
It went up her runt
and she said with a grunt
"what a good girl am I!"

Humpty Dumpty sat on a banana
Humpty Dumpty screamed for his nanna
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't make Humpty Dumpty cisgender again

The eensy weensy banana
climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain and
washed the banana out
Up came the sun and
dried up all the rain
So the eensy weensy banana
went up the spout again

It's raining
it's pouring
Banana is whoring
it went to bed
with its peels spread
and couldn't get it up in the morning

Little Mizz Muffet
sat on her tuffet
making her turds and wee
Along came a banana
Muffet shouted "Hosanna!"
And made a chocolate banana split.
Holy shit!

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack that's not a candlestick.