Willie Brown's Brown Willy

Once there was a brown Labrador puppy named Willy. His pet was Willie Brown, the famous politician who was also brown, though racially Black.

Willie Brown was a snappy dresser. He had a lot of girlfriends. They were all very nice to Brown Willy. Willie Brown used Brown Willy to pick up chicks, and Brown Willy used Willie Brown to extract gourmet treats from his girlfriends. It was a successful symbiotic relationship.

It was all fun and games until one day Willie Brown came home with a new girlfriend. Brown Willy knew just from the way she looked at him that something was off.

Kamala: [Starts eying Willy hungrily]

Willie: Kamala, I've been thinking.

Kamala: Now Willie, I've warned you about thinking!

Willie: I've been thinking, we ought to start a family.

Kamala: Really? That's so sweet of you.

Willie: I want us to get married and adopt Willy.

Kamala: I don't want to be part of your family story! I want Willy to be my breakfast!

Kamala lunged at Willy! She tried to catch Willy in her mouth, but missed slightly and nipped off part of his ear. Brown soot came off him. She gasped. "It CAN'T BE!" (it turns out Brown Willy is really Lucky, in disguise!) "You're going to be my breakfast torte!" she cackled, picking him up by the scruff of the neck.

At that very moment, two full-grown Dalmatians burst through the bay window of Willie's living room, growling. Kamala tried to flee! But Pongo and Perdita grabbed onto her designer clothing and held fast, while Willie put Kamala into a headlock.

Willie: Kamala, I think it's time for your medicine! [whips out a syringe, injects Kamala]

Kamala: Hey that's the wrong drug! You're not supposed to inject straight THC!

Willie: How did you know that?

Kamala: Um, I've confiscated some of it before and, well, you know.

Kamala yawned and fell into a trance.

***

Kamala felt her body drifting upwards rapidly. Clouds drifted past. Then she was in hyperspace! What a great trip. She should do this more often.

Gradually, she became aware that other beings were travelling with her, emerging into her consciousness, until they were literally visible as transparent, holographic images. She felt a gentle nip at her left heel. She kicked it. "Ouch!" cried Patch. And now a bigger, more decisive nip on her right big toe. It was Rolly!

"Go away!" yelled Kamala. "I already ate you!"

Hundreds of puppies chanted back in cute little voices. "We are the ghosts of your past meals. No more eating puppies, Kamala!" Suddenly they all rushed her. Kamala struggled, but she was smothered by puppies nipping her all over!

Then she woke up.