By gansach
Solitary in the crowd,
drifting with uncertain purpose
amongst congregations of chattering, purposeful poets,
I pass with anticipation that ebbs and flows
as moon-washed tide~
searching for a face in common,
another lost soul who will shine with delight at my approach,
gather me in as a scattered chick
beneath the mother hen’s consoling wing,
spatter me with chat.
Painfully hoping~
yet not daring to think so~
should all lucky omens be jinxed;
desiring a reason to splurge compressed cash upon
baby bottles of champagne,
plaid packets of precious shortbread.
Please let me have a reason to break them out~
celebrate my face becoming familiar,
my words becoming wonders,
my desert island becoming Grand Central Station
with well-wishers, admirers.
The hush in a darkened ballroom
where nervous fingers clasp,
crossing in fervent prayer.
Don’t show how much I want it or
they will see disappointment all the more;
cramped facial muscles continue to smile
as each name called into the excited atmosphere
is not upon my place card.
Graciously glissading from the room,
stoic, stalwart,
pulling hand over hand the invisible lifeline,
the umbilical to the safety of the
foreign, yet familiar, hotel room where,
alone and able to melt into the puddle of myself,
I crack open the shortbread and champagne
and pretend I’ve won.
Author Notes | This poem was written after my first solo trip to the International Poets Society Invitational Convention and Symposium in Washington, D.C. which, besides meetings, writing sessions, activities, and speakers, the participants also entered a poem for the competition. Poets, which numbered around 1500, were divided into reading rooms of about 20-30 participants where they read their poems and everyone voted for the best one. The winners from each room competed again in succeeding rounds until there were 10 finalists. These 10 names were announced at the Poets Dinner held in the ballroom, each winning $100 and a book contract. The finalists then presented their poems before the entire convention (about 3000 people) and 10 writer/editor judges where the winner received $5000. I was very nervous and unsure of myself at my first convention, my first trip alone. My co-workers had chipped in to pay for my plane ticket and a nice evening dress to wear at the dinner and I so wanted to be successful so their faith in me was justified. I didn't win that year or make it into the top 10, but it was a wonderful learning experience and I did attend further conventions, making friends of several fellow-poets. |
By gansach
Lone moments at the microwave
spent mourning minutes lost;
those ticking seconds vanishing
away at what a cost?
I ponder precious time I know
which could be better spent
for, on most days, I’m wondering
exactly where time went.
There never seems to be enough
to do what I must do
and look to see where, curious,
I might have saved a few.
Discovering time wasted as
my food cooks inside out;
those moments at the microwave
are what my life’s about.
Philosophizing as my meal
is nuked from stem to stern;
each time the same thought comes to me,
you’d think that I would learn
to walk away and find something
providing much more fun
instead of staring at my meal
until the bell rings done.
If I could calculate the time
I spend in such pursuit,
a fraction of my life is gone~
but then this point is moot
for, next time hunger rears its head,
habit will not waver
because the microwave is life’s
modern day timesaver.
Author Notes | During one of those periods when my daughter had moved out and I seldom felt like cooking a meal after a long day at work, I bought easy microwave meals for dinner. One time, while standing there watching my food twirl, I wondered how much time I wasted waiting there for the bell to ring and how ironic that the microwave was supposed to save time. |
By gansach
At the end of the harrowing day where life has collided with the world
for eight energy~sucking,
strength~sapping,
enthusiasm~draining hours,
the craving need to crawl homeward, to seek shelter, is paramount.
To ratchet my quivering remains up the Everest stair and
catapult myself into the safety net of home usurps
my remaining reserves of nerves.
A respite of heavy breathing to restore some semblance of humanity
is required before I can propel myself to the bathroom where,
draping my diminished essence over the edge of the tub,
I clutch the hot water spigot and wrench it to the “on” position.
Clouds of refreshing steam engulf me as I peel myself
like a limp banana and slither into porcelain awash with waves
of fragrance~laced water,
there to uncrimp each sobbing muscle,
release each knotted nerve,
relax each traffic~jammed joint
until, with a sigh of pure unadulterated pleasure, I sink slowly
into an oblivion of bubbles,
senses a~tingle with new life.
When the numbness has subsided and I am human once more,
I pull the plug and let the sloughed snakeskin of living
swirl
down
the
drain.
Author Notes | There is nothing like a fragrant, bubbly soak in the tub after a long. hard day of earning a living. |
By gansach
The trick is to look as if
no company you seek,
that you’d look with disdain upon
anyone who chose to speak
and interrupt your solitary meal.
The shield is the book you bring
to read with avid lust,
displaying a thirst for knowledge
not interrupted for just
a conversation you would shun with zeal.
The steps are the ones you take
to provide protection
from sympathetic knowing eyes
to escape their detection
of truth beneath the cover that you throw.
The truth of the matter is
you would give anything
to have someone sit down and to
your sweet isolation bring
a ray of hope, if only they could know.
Author Notes | Sometimes we wish for someone to see through the protections we gather around ourselves and breech the walls we've built, hoping to find a connection. |
By gansach
Author Notes |
I've made many a great speech, rant, diatribe, oration--when no one's there to hear me.
image by MSDesigns |
By gansach
Author Notes |
Letting pride get in the way of true feelings can be a great loss. Caring and compromising are not signs of weakness but priorities in a relationship.
Image by MSDesigns |
By gansach
Author Notes |
Oh, those lovely weekends when you can just let go, relax, be your sloppy self, enjoy the things that make you happy with no one to judge, frown on, or bother you~ahhhh, heaven!
Image by MSDesigns |
You've read it - now go back to FanStory.com to comment on each chapter and show your thanks to the author! |
© Copyright 2015 gansach All rights reserved. gansach has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. |
© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Statement