I’ve carried guilt for years since it happened -
Stevie was my dearest friend, my anchor.
Oh, it didn’t matter that he was 'just' a cat,
No person was there to comfort me after nightmares.
Every day with him was one that I cherished.
Then I left, just for two days, to golf at state.
Had I known, I would’ve completely given up the sport I loved,
And I’d have been nothing but relieved, had it saved him.
That wasn’t how it happened.
Jaunting home proudly, with a medal to show,
Upbeat until I called, and silence answered.
So, we looked, the whole family, for hours on end -
Till my dad plodded into the house and whispered, ‘He’s gone.’
When my father found Stevie, he wouldn’t let me look -
I was not allowed to hold him, even one last time.
No, I should’ve fought to see him, no matter how gruesome.
Descending into that hardened ground alone, I wasn’t there,
So, this, this I’ve never been able to forgive myself for.
If I could’ve seen, maybe I’d have found closure -
The lack of confirmation let me live in delusion.
Sure, that one day, Stevie would come running back,
Even as the seasons turned with each passing year.
Losing hope bit by bit, I realized he was truly gone,
For I only ever held him again in my dreams.
Author Notes |
This is a continuation from the acrostic poem, 'The infection of grief.'
The plan is that these acrostic poems I'll be writing will come together to make their own poem!
Hope you guys enjoy :)
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