By damommy
There’s seldom the need to scold any of my cats, but today, there was a need. Foster was being particularly pesky to his siblings.
Sitting where I was at the time, I could see from the living room, through the dining room, and into the kitchen. I could see what he was doing. About halfway between Foster and me, Dilly and Dart were watching the whole thing.
When I scolded Foster, Dilly and Dart looked at him to see how he received the scolding. When he ignored me, they looked at me to see what I was going to do. I spoke again to Foster who continued to ignore me, and again, Dilly and Dart looked at him and then at me.
They knew he was in trouble and were waiting to see what happened. Having cats is a bit like having children.
I’ve learned Foster has selective hearing.
∞∞∞∞
At bedtime, everyone runs down the hall to the bedroom to get their choice spot. Me, included, but they run faster than I can.
Heaven forbid I should get up during the night. I come back to find someone in my spot, and this begins the nightly ritual of shoving everybody over to get some space for myself. This happens every time I abandon my spot. I tell them repeatedly that this is my bed to no avail.
When I head to the bathroom, I have an entourage. Shutting the door does no good. One of them, I don’t know which, can jiggle to door knob until it unlatches. It does no good to remind them that I don’t go to their toilet with them.
I had to get a clear shower curtain because they couldn’t see me. Now, they can perch between the outer curtain and the clear one, and they like that.
∞∞∞∞
Having several cats, I could write volumes, but I’ll stop for now. Thank goodness, I have a big house! It gives them plenty of room to get up to their antics and keep me entertained.
| Author Notes |
I hope you enjoy these antics. I may write more if you do.
|
By damommy
Foster is in BLUE
Dart is in Green
Dilly is in Red
PC in Black
Blynkin in Purple
Hey, guys. What are you doing?
We’re hiding from the monster. Blynkin’s in here, too.
What monster? What’s wrong with you guys. It’s just a little storm, that’s all.
Oh, no. It’s no storm. It’s a monster. We heard it roar and then come crashing around. Sounds like it will be here any minute.
You are too silly. You’re being ridiculous. Come out of there now and behave. You’re embarrassing yourselves. I’m embarrassed for you.
Are you kidding? And let that thing get us! No, way, man. I’m staying right where I am. It won’t find me here.
I’m never coming out!
You are unbelievable. Don’t you think if it is a monster it will toss everything around until it finds you? Monsters have a good sense of smell, maybe even better than ours. It would find you all right.
So, you think it’s a monster, too. I knew it. You were trying to be so smart and brave, and all the time you want us to come out so it will get us instead of you.
There’s nothing to get anyone. If you’re that scared, come out and sit with damommy. You know she’d never let anything hurt us.
Damommy’s no match for a monster. She’s little . . . and old.
Don’t kid yourself. Damommy’s a match for anything.
Hey, gang. Damommy’s handing out treats!
Me first. No, me. Out of my way.
Well, that’s one way to get them out of there. The joke’s on them. There are no treats! hahahahahah
| Author Notes |
Foster's the only one who isn't afraid storms.
|
By damommy
PC: Okay, everybody gather ‘round. We need to talk. The new year is almost on us, and I heard Mommy talking about something called resolutions. I didn’t know what that meant, so I Googled after she went to bed. Resolutions are things we set ourselves to do, or not do. In this case, it’s things we will do in the coming year. Apparently, humans make these things and then don’t keep them. We will keep ours. I’m ready to hear any suggestions.
Endeavour: Well, I don’t know about this. I’m happy with the things the way we are. Why mess it up?
PC: Because, you doofus, it could be to our advantage. For instance, I’ve made the resolution to think of more ways of tricking my way into the pantry. Those sealed jars of treats are no problem for me. I’ve learned how to open them quite nicely.
Endeavour: Yeah, but you don’t share them. If only you could figure out how to open the door once Mommy shuts it, we could all have extra treats.
Dilly: Awww, leave ‘im alone, Endevil. He’s skinny enough that he can stand the extra treats. You don’t look like you’ve missed a meal, Fatso.
Endeavour: Why, you little . . .
PC: Stop it right now! This is getting us nowhere. Ende-vour isn’t fat. He has a husky build. Now, you lot, decide what your resolutions are going to be.
Winkyn, Blinkyn, and Nod, all speaking at once: Me next! Me! Me! Me!
Winkyn: Hold it! Since I’m eldest by five minutes, I will speak for my two siblings. Number One: We resolve to take more naps, and Number Two: To build on our list of places to do just that. Taking over Mommy’s bed is one we’ll keep, but we need more. Besides, when she comes to bed, she takes up a lot of our space. So, brothers, these are our resolutions. Next.
Dilly: Well, I resolve to be even more beautiful, if that’s possible.
Foster: Aw, Dilly, I don’t think you could be more beautiful than you are. (blush). I resolve to being more like you guys. Mommy’s always talking about how unflappable I am. I resolve to be more flappable.
Dart: I resolve to living up to my name. I dart here, I dart there, I dart everywhere. I resolve to do more of that. Dart, dart, dart.
PC: Oh, great. Okay. Since the rest of you haven’t spoken up, I’ll take it that you haven’t made any resolutions. That being the case, we’ll meet up later, and I’ll be assigning each of you a resolution. And you will keep it. Amos, Andi, and Tucker, you three be thinking about what you want if you don’t want me deciding for you. That’s it for now. Off you go.
| Author Notes | This is what they get up to behind my back. (Sigh) |
By damommy
I heard my human talking about superstitions, and it got me to wondering if I am superstitious. I asked my siblings, but they couldn’t make their minds up.
I don’t mind ladders. In fact, I love climbing on them and jumping off. As far as four-leaf clovers are concerned, I’ll eat anything green, lucky or not.
Some people consider black cats like me to be unlucky if they cross their path. That’s crazy. They should feel lucky just to look at me.
Spilled salt doesn’t worry me since I never use it. I’ve seen Mommy get in a dither about spilled salt, and she always throws it over her shoulder.
What really spooks me is a rocking chair that’s rocking with no one in it. It scares the catnip out of me! Who’s doing the rocking?
We all know that cats, okay, dogs, too, see things that humans don’t, and if I don’t see anything in the chair, it’s a bit scary. What in the name of fur balls would be rocking that I can’t see?! It makes me wonder if it’s so terrible, it won’t show itself to me, and I can only think it’s evil.
Broken mirrors are said to bring bad luck. I say the only bad luck is that I can’t see myself. Also, a horseshoe should be hung with the open part up or the luck will drain out of it. Bad luck here is for the horse that is limping around with only three shoes. I wonder if it would make him limp?
Mommy says her lucky number is thirteen, so I’m good with that.
All in all, we in the animal kingdom can’t be bothered with such nonsense. We make our own luck. You’re the lucky ones if we choose to live with you.
PC
By damommy
In a multi-cat household, there’s always something funny happening. These little guys keep me laughing.
I want to tell you about Blynken. He is different from his brothers, Wynken and Nod, ginger cats, one short-haired and one long-haired. As you can see from his photo, he’s black and white.
What makes him unique is his volume. He is by far the loudest cat I’ve ever heard. When I say loud, I mean LOUD. Almost sonic boom level.
He walks with me through the house, talking his head off, and I have no clue what it’s about, but the pure volume keeps me interested. He will catch my hand in both paws, and walk along with me on his hind feet. I ask questions all the time, but so far, no clue to what he’s saying.
While I have an alarm system in my house, sometimes I think it’s not needed with Blynken around. A would-be burglar would be put off and lose confidence once he realized his presence was no secret, and he’d have to realize that Blynken had sounded the alert, even though it’s only a desire to have a chat. It would be equivalent to a barking dog, and would most likely scare the crook away, if it didn’t scare him to death. Imagine coming home to find a fainted criminal!
Blynken is a good boy, and very loving. All my cats are. They get along tremendously well, even though outside of the three I mentioned here, no one is related, and have come at different times.
I hope you have enjoyed hearing about my loud cat. Maybe he’s a frustrated opera singer. He would give Pavarotti a run for his money in volume alone!
By damommy
As far as superstitions go in this family, if Foster has any, he doesn’t act on them. He’s the most unflappable cat I’ve ever met. He never gets upset or loses his cool.
He walks under ladders, spills salt without throwing any over his shoulder, and Friday the 13th is just one more day to him. He never knocks on wood, much preferring to sharpen his claws on it.
Living with black cats is meaningless to him. They cross his path numerous times every day. So far, so good. No bad luck for Foster.
If he had a rabbit’s foot, he’d only play with it. Same thing for a wishbone. Of course, we’ll never know for sure about that one because he isn’t allowed to have chicken bones.
Rocking a chair with no one in it would simply mean to him that it was available for a nap, and he would promptly claim it as his own.
I’ve never mentioned crossing fingers for luck. I’m afraid he’d break his toes trying. He’s always up for anything new.
My grandmother always believed in straightening out your socks when you take them off, or you’d have bad luck. Not Foster. There’s nothing he likes better than a game of sock golf.
So, there you have it. I haven’t asked the others about their superstitions. Maybe there are more stories there. I’ll ask.
| Author Notes | The challenge was, if your pet had a superstition, what would it be? |
By damommy
The day I met Dilly, it was pouring rain so hard it felt like bb’s hitting my skin, but I had to go out. I’d seen this tiny, tiny kitten on my deck, scared out of her wits. When I went to pick her up, she bolted into some thick, high monkey grass.
The way the water was already pooling in flash flooding, I knew she’d drown if I couldn’t find her. By now, I’m drenched to the bone, and can hardly see for the rain in my face. It took a while to find her.
At first, I thought she was blind, but when I got her inside, I saw her eyes were matted shut. After cleaning them up, she was certainly sighted, and a lovely little long-haired calico with some of the prettiest markings I’d ever seen.
She proved to be very brave, not a bit afraid of the larger cats in the house, and was soon running around as though she was as big as they were. Everyone adored her, and Yoda, who we’ve since lost, became her nanny, or manny, or canny, whatever.
Her name was fitting because she was truly a dilly of a cat. I say she’s two cats. Her face is divided down the middle, black on one side, orange and white on the other, and she has the cutest expression.
She very cuddly and loving, but she still runs with the big guys, giving as good as she gets in a wrestling match.
I’ve been blessed with this little girl.
| Author Notes |
Dilly being cuddled by Yoda.
|
By damommy
Red - Foster
Black - the Doctor
My siblings don’t understand me, Doctor.
In what way, Foster? Just relax and let it all come out slowly. In your own time.
Well, see, when there are sudden noises, inside or out, everyone scatters like it’s the end of the world. I don’t. I wait to see what’s going on before I make a decision to bolt. Usually, I don’t bolt.
Sounds like you have a good grip on things, Foster. Why are you bothered by this?
Because they tell me that cats are supposed to be skittish about anything sudden. It doesn’t make any sense to me.
There’s nothing wrong with being different. You don’t have to be like all other cats.
But, Doctor, they laugh at me because I don’t run from the vacuum cleaner. I don’t see any reason to run. It’s not going to suck me up. I like watching damommy push it back and forth. The motion’s a bit mesmerizing. Besides, I know she would never come close to me with anything dangerous.
They even went so far as to accuse me of having a “stash” hidden somewhere that keeps me “mellow.”
Go on, my friend. I think we’re making some headway here.
Well, it’s not that the others don’t trust damommy. It’s just they think they should act like cats are expected to act.
And how does that make you feel?
I find that demeaning, like we don’t have minds of our own. Take PC, for instance. One of the smartest cats I’ve ever known, but even he reverts to the “norm” when something sudden happens.
That’s all we have time for now, but I think you don’t have anything to worry about. I find that you are a well-balanced cat that thinks for himself. In fact, I don’t think you need any more counseling at all. Now, go and live life your own way. You are very smart, and I know you’ll always make good decisions.
Thanks, Doctor. May I have a note from you saying so?
Are you kidding? You’re not like a normal cat at all. Now get out of here. Scat!
| Author Notes | Animal Crackers Club's challenge was "what would you pet say if it went to a psychiatrist?" |
By damommy
Black – PC
Red – Endeavour
Blue - Foster
Wait a minute, wait a minute, will you? Settle down, and let’s decide this like the mature cats we are.
The question is what would we be like if we were humans. Perish the thought, but come on, we have to help damommy out here.
I see myself in smoking jacket, sitting by the fire with a full pipe and good book, occasionally looking up as I ponder the intricacies of life.
Oh, for Pete’s sake, PC, you’re so full of yourself. Let me take a turn at this.
I’d be a detective like my namesake, Inspector Morse, because, as we all know, I can’t keep my nose out of anything, and I never miss a thing about what’s going on in this house.
That’s true, Endeavour, you’d make a great detective. We could call you Furlock Holmes, and Foster can be your Catkins. What a team you’d make. I already have an idea for your business cards.
Hang on, PC. You’ve gone off into the realm of imagination again. There’s no way we’ll ever be humans. This is just something fun to think about. I certainly don’t want to be human with all their worries. Taxes, bills, inflation, food, shelter, worry, worry, worry. We have everything given to us and don’t have a care in the world. Well, maybe, who’s going to get the spot next to damommy first.
You’re so right, E. I was thinking about the others, too. Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod, along with Dart, could form a barbershop quartet. You know how loud Blinkin can be, he could be lead singer. I can see them now in their straw boater hats and sleeve garters.
Dilly could be their agent, and Amos and Andy their back-up singers. Tucker could be their PR lady. I’ve got it all figured out.
Give it up, PC. You’re running off again and leaving reality behind. Let’s just take a nap before we think about this anymore. I think you’ve overheated your brain!
That’s it. Lie down there and rest a while. You got too excited there for a minute.
Hey, guys, I heard you talking. What’s goin’ on?
(in unison)
Nothing!
Nothing!
By damommy
As you may remember, PC has to get an antibiotic shot every two weeks because he’s very prone to bladder infections. At thirteen years of age, I want to do everything possible to keep him healthy and with me as long as possible.
The problem is, he’s too smart for me. He knows when it’s time to go, no matter what I do. It’s getting trickier every time to catch him.
The carrier’s not the problem. It’s a lovely carrier, mesh on three sides, and plenty of room. He’s not bothered by the carrier itself. He’s bothered because he knows he going for a shot.
Now, I’ve given them to him at home many times, and it doesn’t hurt a bit. Just a momentary sting. At the vet’s, he doesn’t even flinch. But at home, you’d think I was trying to put him in an Iron Maiden. He doesn’t scratch or bite, he simply wiggles away! He’s very agile.
Now here’s where communication comes in. Before I even open my eyes on the morning of, he KNOWS! I get up and do everything I normally do, nothing different. But he KNOWS! I have to believe it’s ESP. I can’t get near him from the first moment we’re awake. He’s normally like a furry magnet, always stuck right on me.
I’ve changed days, I’ve changed times, nothing works. He KNOWS!
While driving on our last trip, I took a great deal of time explaining to him why I take him every two weeks, how important it is to keep him healthy, and that I do it because I love him so much. He kept his back to me the whole time I was talking. When I finally said (don’t ask me why), “Do you understand me at all?,” he suddenly turned around and spoke. That made me think he really did understand.
My theory is that, even though they can’t speak our language, they do pick up on it and learn what we’re saying. I have no doubt at all that my cats understand when I speak to them. They always respond in the correct way.
I don’t dare say the words vet, shot, or anything close to that. He KNOWS!
| Author Notes |
He's an amazing cat. There are so many ways he shows his intelligence.
I've given injections at home to many cats over the years, and none of them minded. It's not that I'm hurting him. |
By damommy
There are two things that I think are funny that I want to share with you.
As you know, PC frequently gets locked in the pantry. It’s dark under the bottom shelf, and if his eyes aren’t showing, I don’t see him. I think he does it deliberately.
The funny part is all the cat treats are in there. They’re in a container with a wide, hard plastic band around the lid that I have to take a knife to and wheedle it under there to cut it. Then, under the lid, there’s another plastic seal across the mouth of the jar. PC got all that off! I don’t know how he did it, because he certainly didn’t have a knife in there with him. I think from now on, I’ll give him the jar to open for me.
The second thing happened today. It was time for his bi-weekly shot, and somehow, he knows it when we first get up in the morning. We were supposed to go Monday, but he avoided me all day in such ways that I couldn’t get him. I don’t know how he knows, because I conduct myself like any other day, but I think the little guy has a calendar stashed somewhere that he keeps track.
Anyway, I finally tricked him into the bathroom with a treat. When I went to pick him up, I fell over with my hand still on him. You should have seen us trying to get up. I was holding onto him, trying to pull up on the sink, he had his paws on the sink, looking like he was trying to help (sure.) We finally made it and got to the vet in time.
After losing weight for the last few months, he is finally up to his normal weight. Hurray! I was surprised because I haven’t been able to get him to take his prednisone for two weeks.
This morning when I went outside, I had quite a surprise. I kept hearing some faint cries, and finally determined they came from my deck roof. There were four baby kittens up there! I don’t how long they’d been up there, but it rained on them this morning. I had to call a friend to come over, but by the time he got here, they were down. We guessed they fell off, but are okay.
Never a dull moment at this house. Thanks for reading.
By damommy
I've told you before about PC's love of a facial and shampoo. Sometimes, in the morning rush of getting everybody's breakfast treat ready, I wash my own face hurriedly and ignore PC sitting on the counter.
Last night, he wouldn't settle down while I was washing my face, and it dawned on me that he hadn't had his beauty treatment in a couple of days. So, naturally, I washed his face with a cloth, and shampooed his hair between the ears and towel-dried it. He was perfectly happy to get into bed after that. I'm thinking this may become a daily/nightly routine. What a vain boy he is.
Something new I learned about him is he loves pizza. He's never shown any interest in it before, but Tuesday, my granddaughters came for the day. We'd had lunch at a restaurant, but later ordered a pizza to have while we played games.
Lo and behold, PC went into a frenzy. He never likes human food, and I was amazed at how bent he was on getting some pizza. I guess this pizza place makes them better in his opinion. I literally had to fight him for my piece. Hahahaha.
Not only pizza is his new interest. I knew he loved eating powdered doughnuts with John, but since I don't like them, I don't buy them. I did buy some glaze doughnuts and found he likes them as well. Is there no end to what he'll eat these days?
Usually, he only wants to see what I'm eating but shows no other interest after he's checked it out. None of my cats typically eat human food.
PC just turned thirteen last month, and I think his tastes are changing in his old age. On the day of his bi-weekly shot, I took him to Sonic for a hamburger in honor of his birthday. He was not the least impressed.
So why the sudden desire for glazed doughnuts and pizza? I have no idea. I've asked him, but you know cats lie every time. They keep their secrets to themselves, and nothing and no one can coax those secrets out of them.
I wonder what I could find out if I hold the pizza and doughnuts as ransom?
| Author Notes |
It's so hard to get a good picture of PC. He either runs or gets too close to the camera.
|
By damommy
After reading Judiverse’s post, I saw we had similar problems with our cats. Not only when I’m reading, but watching TV, PC gets right in my line of sight. If I lean one way, so does he. If I lean the other way, so does he. It’s quite a small battle until I make him get down. But he doesn’t give up easily.
He gets a little huffed at me for that, but the real thing that makes me put out with me is flea treatment. You’d think I was pouring battery acid on him. All it is, as you all know, is a small drop on the back of his neck between his shoulder blades. You should see how he can arch his back down. After I accomplish the mission, he stalks off and won’t speak to me for some time. When he finally does, it’s after he’s spent some time sulking and turning his back on me to show me how ticked off he is.
The only other “anger issue” we might have here is Endeavour. He doesn’t bite or scratch or anything like that, but when I make him stop something, he hisses. That’s all, just hisses to show his displeasure with me for interfering in his fun. Most of which is chasing someone else around when they don’t want to play.
Other than that, everyone is pretty laid back and peaceful. I haven’t seen anyone of the others with any complaints. There’s always a couple of prima donnas (or dons) in every group, I guess.
By damommy
PC is in RED
Endeavour is in BLUE
Maisie is in GREEN
Briggs is in Orange
Damommy is in BLACK
Endeavour! Drop the lettuce!
But I like lettuce.
Do you want to get locked in the bathroom? Damommy said she was going to put you in there if you didn’t stop interfering with her salad making. Besides, that’s rabbit food.
I don’t care what you say. I’m going for it. What?! No! Not the bathroom. I’ll be good. Noooooooo.
I tried to warn him. Now, listen up, gang. You’ve got to give up these silly notions about snacks. We shouldn’t embarrass ourselves and others of our kind by eating things like lettuce. Whoever heard of such a thing!
Now, if you really want something good, go for the powdered doughnuts. I could eat a ton of them if they weren’t hidden away.
Maisie, you must stop sucking on straws. How many years have you been trying to get something to drink that way, and you’ve come close, but no cigar, as they say. Keep your dignity, girl.
I’ll make it someday, and you’ll be sorry you fussed at me.
Briggs, you can’t keep eating popcorn the way you do. I’ve heard that’s what people eat at the movies. When have you ever been to movie? What’s that you say? I don’t care if damommy lets you have it, it’s not cat-like.
Go for potato chips like I do. Crisp, salty, just the right thing for a discerning cat. And there’s nothing better than peanut butter licked off the spoon left in the sink. Yum. Makes my mouth water just thinking about it.
You’re one to talk. Why can’t I eat popcorn if you eat potato chips? Who made you boss of everybody? And what’s so dignified about licking spoons? Sounds like what an alley cat would do. And I’ve seen you chew bread wrappers.
You just don’t get it. It’s the way you do these things. When no one’s looking.
Sorry, gang, but I see what you all do. The jig’s up. So much for feline dignity.
Oh, man!!!
| Author Notes | These are things they really eat. |
By damommy
There are several cats here now, and over time, there have been many. So it’s hard to pick one name out of the bunch. I’ll share a short piece about a few.
We all know PC thinks it stands for Perfect Cat, but the truth is he was named for the little diner where I found him, Pig ‘N Chik. He doesn’t know it, but I almost named him Pig.
Then there’s Endeavour. I enjoyed the British TV series, Inspector Morse so much. He would never tell his first name, but as time went on, we learned it was Endeavour, after Captain Cook’s ship. His father was a big fan. When I found my Endeavour, the name just popped in my head.
Next, the sisters, Bib and Tucker, which no one understands why I named them that. It used to be said when someone was dressing up, they were putting on their best bib and tucker. Bib, obviously, had a white bib on her chest, and it fell to reason to name her sister Tucker.
Then there was Mazy, whose colors were a maze.
Dilly, because she’s such a little dilly of a cat.
Dudette, the boys had named her Little Dude until we discovered she was a dude-ette.
Dart, because he runs like he’s shot out of a cannon. Should have named him Cannonball.
Oh, and I can’t forget DOC. It stood for Definitely Outside Cat. After he was let in, my son said he should be re-named NIC, Now Inside Cat.
I took my mother’s cats, brother and sister, when she passed away. My stepfather’s name was Amos, so she named the boy Amos. It just followed to name the girl Andi, after the old TV show, Amos and Andy.
Over the years, there have been many, and I’ve tried to name them according to some trait. I’ll end with the three brothers, Winkin’, Blinkin’, and Nod. Somehow, Winkin’ got changed to Rags.
As Porky would say, “Th-th-that’s it, folks!” (For now).
| Author Notes | Animals Crackers Club challenge, why did you choose your pet's name? |
By damommy
When I first got PC, he was the tiniest kitten I’d ever seen. He could lay in my hand with room to spare. He was in a box with two ginger kittens, both twice as big as he was, and his little eyes were all matted and glued shut. I knew no one would take him. So I did. He has truly been a blessing as well as a source of entertainment and amazement.
There are so many things he does that fascinate me. One is the time he kept jumping up the door. I was afraid he’d come down on the doorknob and hurt himself, but he kept at it. Finally, he touched the lintel. That was it. That was what he wanted to do. When he had reached it, he walked away and never did it again.
Another time, he couldn’t reach a hook on a door. He pushed a box over, climbed on the box, and flipped the hook up. He was just a kitten when he did that.
I’ve always washed my hair in the sink, and he would climb up my leg until he could reach the counter to sit and watch me. One day, on a whim, I put a little shampoo on my finger and rubbed it between his ears, rinsed it, and towel dried his head. Then I proceeded to wash his face. He liked it!
In May, he’ll be thirteen years old, and I watch him like a hawk for any signs of illness or trouble. I give him an antibiotic shot bi-weekly to stave off the kidney infections he’s prone to have.
He keeps inventing things to entertain himself, and me. But his favorite thing remains his “shampoo and a facial.”
|
You've read it - now go back to FanStory.com to comment on each chapter and show your thanks to the author! |
| © Copyright 2015 damommy All rights reserved. damommy has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. |
© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Statement