By Monica Chaddick
It all began in 2006. This was the year that my daughters met a boy at school. My girls, Kate and Samantha, are a year and a half apart, so they were only two grades separated. The young man that they met, Dwayne, was also a student at their school. The girls went to a basketball game one night, and that is when they met Dwayne.
Samantha took a shine to Dwayne. She is the younger of my two daughters, and I definitely wasn't ready for her to be interested in boys. I wasn't ready for either of them to be, but certainly not the youngest one. At any rate, she asked me if we could give Dwayne a ride home, and I agreed.
A couple of weeks later, Samantha came to me and asked if she could go eat dinner with Dwayne the following evening. Now that I was absolutely not ready for, especially since she was only eleven or twelve at the time. I expressed my unease and displeasure with her request, and she went away angry and pouting.
Samantha returned later with the phone. She had Dwayne's mother on the other end of the line. She explained to me that her name was Lisa, and she was calling on behalf of her son, Dwayne. She stated that Dwayne really wanted to take Samantha to eat dinner. She assured me that she would be with them the entire time. She would pick Samantha up, take them to a local restaurant to eat, and return her home right after dinner. Very reluctantly, I agreed to the arrangement.
The following evening, I walked my daughter out to Lisa's vehicle. I introduced myself and my husband and we talked to Lisa for a few minutes. They left to go to dinner. I had a sort of iffy vibe regarding Lisa, but I put it off to it being due to the situation. They returned on time, and without incident, so that eased my bad vibes and I put Lisa and Dwayne out of my mind.
A month or two went by, and Samantha made no more mention of Dwayne. One night, the phone rang and when I answered, I discovered it was Lisa on the other end of the line. She immediately began to scream at me, telling me that both Samantha and Kate were chasing after her son. She further stated that the girls were calling her house at all hours of the night and had run up the minutes on her cell phone. She wanted the bill paid â?" I refused. She went on to call my girls all sorts of names. I basically told her where she could shove it, and I hung up the phone.
Once I was off the phone, I called my girls into the living room and told them what they were accused of, what Lisa had called them and said about them, and that they were to stay away from Dwayne. He was a couple of years older than Kate, as it was, and I really didn't feel that any of them were old enough for all of that foolishness. Both girls denied calling him and denied chasing after him. For a time, that was the end of that situation â?" but of course, it wasn't over.
A short time later, my older daughter, Kate, decided to inform me that she and Dwayne were "going together". I questioned her as to whether or not this was the same boy whose mother had called before and called her and her sister all of those horrible names and made all of those accusations. She confirmed that we were talking about the same boy. However, she assured me, Lisa wouldn't be a problem. According to Kate, Dwayne was now living with his father because of his mother's psychotic behavior.
I told her I would think about it. Of course, there wasn't exactly a lot I could do about them seeing each other at school, but I needed to decide if I was willing to let things go on outside of school. I was a teacher at a local elementary school, and I did some investigating. Everyone that knew Dwayne knew that he was a troublemaker at school, but they also knew that his mother was, to put it nicely, completely nuts.
There was a school dance coming up, and Kate wanted to know if she could, indeed, go with Dwayne. I tentatively gave permission, and told her that I would be the one to drive them both there and back. The night of the dance, I retrieved Dwayne from his father's house, drove them to the dance, returned him to his father's house, and went home. I was later informed, in a very rude manner, by Lisa that Dwayne was supposed to have returned to her house after the dance and that she didn't want me transporting him anywhere. That was fine with me.
A few weeks or so went by, and the kids were still "going together". My husband and I spoke with Lisa, who claimed not to have recalled either phone call. She was sticky sweet, stating that she had no problems with us whatsoever and that she just adored our girls. My husband and I were, to say the least, perplexed. We weren't sure what to really make of her or the situation. We decided to take it a day at a time and see what exactly we would encounter. As it turned out, we would have been better off moving to another state.
Lisa was remarried and had a second, much younger, son. Her husband, she told us, was disabled, so he stayed home with the younger child. A day came when Kate and Dwayne were both out of school, and my husband and I both had work. Kate wanted to know if Dwayne could come over. We wouldn't allow that without an adult at home. Kate returned to us later that night with another request. Since we wouldn't allow Dwayne to come over because there wouldn't be an adult at home, could she go to Dwayne's for the day instead?
Naturally, we had an obvious follow up question. Would there be an adult present at Dwayne's house? Kate assured us that there would be. She said that Lisa had to work, but that Dwayne's step father and little brother would be at home to supervise them. As we had never met him, we weren't completely comfortable with that situation, either, but Kate got Lisa on the phone. Lisa insisted that her husband was willing to supervise the kids and that we had absolutely nothing to worry about. Reluctantly, we agreed.
| Author Notes | This story is based on real life events. The names have been changed to protect identities. The situations are real. Conversations are paraphrased. |
By Monica Chaddick
The following morning, I dropped Kate off at Dwayne's house. Lisa came out and again assured me that they would be supervised and that everything would be fine. I left my daughter there and went to work. I also had to work my second job that evening, so my husband retrieved Kate when he got off work.
I received a phone call at my night job from Kate. It was almost closing time, which was midnight. Kate felt the need to be honest with me. She informed me that she and Dwayne had had sex for the first time that day. Kate was barely fourteen years old. I was furious! I asked her about the so called supervision that they were supposed to have had over at Dwayne's house. Kate informed me that he was indeed there. However, his "disability" was that he was in the nearly final stages of cancer and on morphine for the pain. Basically, he didn't even know where he was, much less what three kids were getting up to while he was supposed to be watching them.
When I got home, it was almost one in the morning. I didn't care. I demanded that Kate get Lisa on the phone immediately. At first, Kate argued with me. She didn't want me to call Lisa, it wasn't Lisa's fault, she said. It was too late to call Lisa, she was too tired from working all day and she would be in bed by this time, Kate insisted. Once more, I informed her that I could care less about Lisa's feelings or exhaustion or anything else. I had also worked all day. I was also tired. Obviously, no one cared about that, so why should I care about Lisa? Kate very reluctantly got Lisa on the phone and handed it to me.
As one can imagine, I let Lisa have an ear full. Of course, she tried to make it out to be my fault because I didn't inquire enough about her husband's condition before allowing my daughter to go over there for the day. She insisted that it wasn't her fault because she had to be at work, too. I informed her that it was her responsibility, and I let her know quite a few other things, as well. I was definitely not very nice about it, either. Kate went to bed very angry with me. This became a situation that I knew quite well over the next weeks, months, and even years.
Kate's anger was not abated at all when I made her an appointment with a gynecologist and placed her on birth control. I wasn't trying to encourage the behavior to continue, but I wasn't na�¯ve enough to think that they wouldn't do it again, either. Kate was humiliated and embarrassed. I told her to think about how I felt. Not to mention that she had broken mine and my husband's trust and faith in her. Naturally, her being a teenager and all that, she didn't really care about that at the time.
This situation put a rift in the relationship between Lisa and me. A relationship that was already on unsteady ground to begin with. This was a rift that, regardless of what I did, was never able to be repaired. Not that Lisa ever tried to repair it, and not that Kate did anything to try to repair it, either.
By Monica Chaddick
As time went on, it was obvious that Kate and Dwayne's relationship was going to continue. She was over at his house one evening, where she was pretty much all of the time now when she wasn't in school. She did have a curfew, and we usually went and got her, because Lisa was just too tired to bring her home. On this particular night, I received a phone call from Kate. She was extremely distraught, and I thought maybe something had happened between she and Dwayne. Secretly, I kind of hoped that something had happened between she and Dwayne, if I'm being honest.
Kate's phone call was to let me know that Lisa's husband had just passed away at home. She wanted to know if she could stay past curfew, because they were waiting on the police, coroner, and all of that. I told her yes, that she could wait with them and that we would be right over. My husband and I headed over to see if we could be of any help. I mean, neither of us were very fond of Lisa, but in this situation that sort of thing can be put aside. Remember, she had a five year old whose father had just died, plus she had just lost her husband, and she also had an upset teenager. We waited for everyone to arrive, and the body to be removed. Once everything was done and everyone was settled, Lisa wanted to know if Kate could stay the night to help with the five year old. That we weren't going to allow, so we loaded Kate up and took her home.
The next day was a school day. Kate wanted to skip school and go to Dwayne's for the day to help out. I told her no, that she had to go to school. She could go to Dwayne's afterwards. She wasn't happy, but she complied. This was a Thursday. I remember that for certain, due to the events that followed. I brought Kate to Dwayne's after school and went in to my second job. Later on, the phone rang. It was Kate.
Lisa's husband was from some little town way on the other side of Texas. That is where his entire family was, and they were holding the service out there on Saturday. Kate stated that Lisa wanted to know if she could go to the funeral service with them. They were leaving the next morning, which was Friday, and they would be returning on Sunday afternoon or evening.
I explained that Kate wasn't going to be allowed to miss any school that wasn't absolutely necessary. However, I understood her wanting to be at the funeral to support her boyfriend and his family, so I had a plan. I went in to work on Friday morning at seven fifteen. Kate went to school. I got off my day job at three thirty and went straight to my night job. We closed at midnight and I got out of there about twelve thirty or one on Saturday morning. It was about a ten or twelve hour drive to where the funeral was. I went home, loaded up my husband and four kids, and hit the road. I drove the entire time to get Kate there on time for the funeral.
When we finally arrived, I was completely exhausted. However, I had to drop Kate off and head straight back home because I had to be at my night job by five and work again until midnight or one in the morning. I didn't even receive a thank you from Lisa. I let that slide, because I understood that she was distraught. I once again verified with Lisa that Kate would be back home on Sunday evening, because she had school on Monday. Lisa assured me that yes, they would be back no later than ten on Sunday night.
Kate was supposed to call on Sunday and let me know when they were leaving from the hotel. I waited and waited. Finally, I tried to contact Kate. When she answered, I asked her if they were on the road yet, and if not when were they leaving because it was getting to the point that they would be late getting home if they didn't get going pretty soon. The answer that I received was definitely not the answer that I was looking for.
Kate was the bearer of bad news. They weren't coming home on Sunday. They might not even be coming home on Monday. Lisa's husband had been cremated, and Lisa refused to leave and have the ashes shipped, which had originally been the plan. According to Kate, Lisa was just way too upset about leaving without her husband's remains, and would not leave until they were in her hands.
I was livid! I told Kate that the entire reason we had pulled the all night drive to bring her out there was so that she would not miss any school. Yes, I was sympathetic to Lisa's plight, but she had to understand that we had an agreement. Finally, Kate put Lisa on the phone. At first, I attempted to be as nice and agreeable as possible while still getting my point across. However, that didn't last long.
Lisa proceeded to tell me that she was absolutely not leaving without the remains. Furthermore, his family wanted them to stay a few days to visit, and she intended to do that, as well. She then crossed the line by telling me that since I had left my daughter with her in another state, she could keep my daughter out there as long as she wanted and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. That was the last straw for me. I informed her that if my daughter was not home by Monday evening I would be calling the authorities and having her charged with kidnapping.
On Monday morning, Lisa called and told me that the funeral home had told her the remains wouldn't be ready until Wednesday or Thursday and so they were staying until then. I told her once more that I didn't care what she did with her kids, but that she had better find a way to get my daughter home that day, even if she had to put her on a bus. Lisa's argument was that if she had to drive home to bring Kate, she would just have to turn around and drive all the way back to Texas. For the final time, I told her that my daughter would be home on Monday evening or she herself would be in jail on Tuesday, and I frankly didn't care anymore which way she wanted to work it.
Kate arrived home around eleven on Monday night. She proceeded to yell at me that I was unbelievable and cruel and that, of course, she hated me. I knew that, from one point of view, I appeared to be unfeeling. However, I was also responsible for my child and her education. I felt that I had actually gone above and beyond to accommodate my daughter, as well as Lisa and her family. I refused to feel guilty for insisting that my daughter be returned home.
By Monica Chaddick
Things seriously escalated after that. Dwayne had a job at a local fast food restaurant. He left that job and went to work at a grocery store. He ended up graduating from a specialized program, since he ended up getting in more trouble at school. Lisa managed to land a good deal on the house next door to hers, and Dwayne moved into that house. He was paying his mother rent and utilities on the house.
In the meantime, Lisa's brakes began giving her trouble on her van. Kate, in an attempt to be helpful, mentioned to Lisa that her biological father was a mechanic. Lisa had her call him.
Lisa quit her job shortly after that, and began setting up camping trips and short out of town trips to various things. Naturally, Kate was begging to go on these trips. We agreed, because at this point our concern was losing our daughter completely if we fought it too much. She also began taking Kate shopping. She bought her expensive shoes and clothes. She also, much to my dismay, got Kate a cell phone on her family plan. Kate already had a phone on our plan, and I insisted that she return the phone that Lisa had given her. This, of course, was an issue.
Lisa told Kate that I couldn't make her shut off the phone because it was in her name. Naturally, this ended up blowing up after a short time. Lisa called me on evening, demanding once again that I pay for a phone bill. She claimed that Kate had run up a huge bill on the phone that Lisa had given her. This, she felt, was my responsibility. I laughed at her. I informed her that she had gotten herself into this situation. She refused to cut off the phone when I asked her to, so now she could deal with it. She proceeded to complain about how much money she had spent on Kate and how we should repay her for at least some of it. Once again, I told her she had made her bed and now she could lie in it.
As soon as Kate turned sixteen, she went to work as a cashier at the same store that Dwayne was working at. Lisa frequented this store quite often, and they knew her there. She basically told them that she was responsible for not only Dwayne, but also for Kate because we were inadequate parents. At one point, I attempted to discuss Kate's paycheck with her. Kate informed me that she was assisting Dwayne with paying the bills for "their" house.
One evening, Kate called and said that she didn't need a ride home. She said she would be on time, but that she had a ride. She did show up at home on time, in a car that she was driving alone. She proudly parked the car and strutted into the house, a smirk on her face that just made you want to shake her. We asked whose car it was. My thoughts were that maybe it was Dwayne's. Kate, appearing to be quite proud of herself, informed us that it was her car. She went on to state that her father had given her the car, and that there was absolutely nothing we could do about it.
I attempted to contact my ex, but he just kept ignoring my phone calls. Finally, I called his wife, only to find out that she knew nothing about the car. She confessed that she and my ex were having major marital problems, and that he hardly even came home anymore. She said it was because he was working at his garage until all hours and was just crashing there. I told her that was the same excuse he had used on me when we were married and he was running around. She refused to believe that he would cheat on her, however, and was insulted that I would even suggest it.
By Monica Chaddick
As we moved into 2009 and 2010, the situation with Kate got more and more out of control. I had gotten Kate into a really nice high school, and had convinced her to join the swim team. She was really good, too. She even took first place at a swim meet, and she was so proud of herself. We were also extremely proud of her.
All of a sudden, though, she decided to quit the swim team. I begged her not to, but of course she wouldn't listen to me. I don't recall how I found out, but I soon discovered that the reason she quit was because Dwayne didn't like the boys seeing her in her swimsuit and he had convinced her to leave the team.
Along about the same time, Lisa became pregnant. I had a strong feeling that the baby was for my ex-husband. I tried talking to Kate about my suspicions. She denied that anything was going on between them. She claimed that he was simply Lisa's mechanic, and that they were friends. Other than that, nothing was going on. I then decided to ask a question that was sort of none of my business. I asked who the father was. The story was that the baby was for some one night stand that Lisa had picked up in a bar.
Amid all of these other things going on, Kate called me one night in a panic. She and Dwayne had been cooking supper at his house that he was renting. While they were cooking, the kitchen caught on fire. The house was very small, and was completely damaged and unlivable. Lisa had insurance on it, so that wasn't a problem, and thankfully no one got hurt.
Kate came to us the next day and said she needed to talk to us. She had a favor to ask. Lisa flat refused to allow Dwayne to stay in her house while his house was being repaired. She gave him no reason, just simply told him no, that he couldn't stay there. My husband and I graciously allowed him to stay on the couch for a little over a month so that he wouldn't have to live on the street.
Lisa, of course, had a problem with this. She actually tried to tell us that we couldn't allow him to stay at our house. I told her that she couldn't control who stayed in my house and who didn't. To tell the truth, the angrier it made her, the more I wanted to let him stay.
A few months later the house was repaired, and Dwayne was able to move back in. Lisa had her baby â?" a boy. After the birth, she began coming in to my job quite often. She was acting very friendly, coming in and hanging around, visiting with me, that sort of thing. I had absolutely no trust in this at all, but I attempted to act in a civilized, friendly manner, as well.
By Monica Chaddick
At one point, I decided to clean the room belonging to my two teenage daughters. I had to do this because they had ants in their room, and they sure weren't going to clean it. Between work, school, and boyfriends they just didn't have the time, they claimed.
In cleaning up, I stumbled upon a bunch of crumpled up papers. I thought maybe some of it was school stuff, so I checked it out. What I found disgusted me to the core. Kate and a friend had been writing notes back and forth at school. According to the note that I found, my ex was definitely involved with Lisa (big surprise). He was telling his wife that he was working, and they were going on camping trips and such with the kids.
This wasn't all that shocking. What truly bothered me was the fact that Kate had written that Lisa was making her and Dwayne shower together on these camping trips. Apparently, Lisa's logic was that they had already had sex, so even if they weren't having it now, they could still shower together and sleep in the same bed.
Before I could do anything regarding the information that I had found, I received a phone call â?" from Dwayne. He was calling because Kate was afraid to call and tell me what was going on. Big surprise â?" Kate was pregnant.
The next morning, I dragged them both down to the free clinic so that Kate could get an official diagnosis. Of course, she was most certainly pregnant at barely sixteen years old. I immediately went into action, scheduling Kate a doctor's appointment and contacting the school about how things would work when the time came that she had to be out.
Lisa and my ex had other plans, however. Lisa thought it was just so wonderful and romantic that Dwayne and Kate were having a baby. After all, she was Kate's age when she had Dwayne. She began trying to fill Kate's head with all sorts of things.
Lisa's parents hadn't exactly been supportive of her when she had gotten pregnant. She tried to convince Kate that either we wouldn't support her, or we would try to take her baby away, or some other stupid nonsense. Of course, my ex was right there with her, stirring the pot.
My husband and I decided to show Kate with our actions that this would not be the case. We bought her a crib. We rearranged the entire house. We turned the dining room into a bedroom for our two sons. We moved our other daughter into the boys' old room. We set up the crib in what was now just Kate's room.
Kate was getting WIC, which is a nutritional supplement program that provides pregnant women with milk, cereal, peanut butter, juice, and other healthy foods. We didn't want her WIC products getting used up by the other kids, so we got her a mini fridge for her room. However, the crap really hit the fan when we threw her a baby shower.
Of course, we invited Lisa. We also invited Lisa's family. We invited my ex-husband's family, as they were related to Kate, although none of them showed up. Lisa had the audacity to sit with my best friend at the shower and proceed to tell her that her baby shared a middle name with his father. You will recall that his father was supposed to be some random one night stand. She even told my friend what the middle name was, as if I wouldn't get the connection.
She further proceeded to tell Kate that she was also throwing her a shower and that it was going to be much better than ours. I told Kate that it wasn't a contest and she could have as many showers as she wanted. Kate inserted the tip of the wedge between her and Lisa when she brought up that she wanted to invite us to her shower since we had invited her to ours.
We were reluctantly invited, and the day of the shower arrived. Naturally, Lisa was so worried about outdoing us that she was focused on little else. She went all out, serving meatballs and hot dogs instead of traditional finger foods. She also made a cake, as opposed to the one that I had only bought. My ex-husband's entire family showed up, and refused to even speak to me, which didn't hurt my feelings at all.
I did find it quite amusing that most of the food fell on the floor because of the way she was trying to haul it in. She picked it up, washed it off, and threw it back in the pans, declaring it fine to eat. The funniest part, though, was when she cut the cake. Inside the cake was a colony of live ants! Even Kate admitted that night that the shower we threw her was better than the one Lisa threw. That was the biggest compliment I had received from her in several years.
By Monica Chaddick
Things moved on, as they usually do. Kate was going to school and working, so she was totally exhausted most of the time. Not to mention that she began coming home earlier than her curfew and hanging out at our house more. I didn't know what was going on, and I wasn't going to question.
I had spoken to Dwayne about helping to pay for the medical bills dealing with Kate's pregnancy. He had agreed. For a few months, that worked out fine. Until the day came that Lisa found out what he was doing. She went on a rampage, telling him and Kate that it wasn't his responsibility to help pay Kate's medical bills, and just to make sure that he couldn't help out, she went up on his rent.
That didn't have the effect that she wanted it to have, apparently. I guess she thought that we would get mad at Dwayne or something if he couldn't hold up his end of the agreement. When we didn't, I guess she thought that he was still giving us money. She began telling my ex that Dwayne wasn't paying his bills to her that he was supposed to pay. My ex, wanting to be Mr. Macho, began attacking Dwayne. He would go and demand the money, and when Dwayne would tell him he had already paid, my ex would physically interact with him, with Lisa's whole hearted encouragement.
This only caused Kate and Dwayne to begin hanging out more and more at my house. This really ticked Lisa off. She even went so far as to tell them that this wasn't over and that she would have them and that baby with her or nobody would. She was even more adamant because Kate was having a girl, and Lisa had always wanted a girl. Unfortunately, she had three boys, instead.
I inadvertently scored more points with Kate because she was having to use the stairs at school, and she was getting huge. She had almost fallen a couple of times, so I went to the school and got her a key to the elevator.
Right around that same time, she was having problems at work. They were making her lift some pretty heavy items, even though her doctor had written her a note limiting that sort of thing. They told her they didn't have to honor it. She came home crying one night because she was spotting. She and the baby were, thankfully, okay, but I wasn't taking any chances. I told her to tell them what they could do with their job.
Another eventful thing occurred around this same time. My husband worked at the local courthouse, and he got a visit from one of the judges. The judge asked him if he knew Lisa and Joey. My husband told him yes, that Lisa was our daughter's boyfriend's mother and Joey was my ex-husband. The two of them had hauled Kate and Dwayne to the courthouse and tried to force the judge to marry the two of them. I had sole custody, though, and the judge had watched our kids grow up. He told them he would do no such thing without talking to me, first.
I didn't know it at the time, but this event marked the beginning of the end of Kate's relationship with Lisa and Joey. A couple of nights later, Kate was at Dwayne's house. He was at work, and she was waiting to go and pick him up. When she went to her car, it wouldn't start. Joey and Lisa told her that he had done something to the car so it wouldn't run, because she wasn't leaving. They informed her that she was to remain there, and if we called her she was to tell us that she wasn't coming home because she was moving in with Dwayne.
Dwayne ended up walking home, and walked into a huge mess. Kate was beside herself. Dwayne had no idea what was going on. There was total confusion.
It was past Kate's curfew. We knew that sometimes she fell asleep watching television with Dwayne, so we would call her if she was late. This time, when my husband called, she told him what she had been told to tell us. Then she asked him to tell me, and hung up. He put down the phone and gave me the information. Naturally, I picked up my phone and called her.
She gave me the same spiel, and started crying again. The thing about Kate is, if something is her idea and she is determined, she doesn't cry. The fact that she was crying told me that something was rotten with this situation. Kate said that Joey had repaired the car, but told her she couldn't come home in the car because he had gotten her the car, so it was his car. I warned her that if she didn't get home, I would call the police. I reminded her that if the officers wanted to, they could put Dwayne in jail for statutory rape. She told me that she was very well aware of that, and that I should do whatever I felt I had to do. Then she hung up.
My brother-in-law was pretty high up in the police department, and my father-in-law was head of the federal marshalls. I got on the phone and called the police department while my husband called his brother. Looking back on what happened next, I find it absolutely hilarious. Of course, it wasn't at the time, but it is now.
An officer showed up at our door, and I began explaining the situation to him. He began asking if Kate and I had had an argument or disagreement of any kind. He was saying that perhaps I should just let her stay over there for the night and let things blow over. While he was talking, Lisa called my phone. I told the officer that it was her, and he answered the phone. He attempted several times to identify himself. When it finally got through to her who she was talking to, she began cursing him out and telling him that there was nothing he could do about anything. Then she hung up on him.
The officer looked at me in awe. He told me what had happened. I told him that's how she always acts. My brother-in-law was on the phone with my husband, and he spoke to his officer. When they hung up, the officer radioed in and had five units sent to surround Lisa's house with lights and sirens blaring. He told us to stay home, which we did.
A short time later, my phone rang. It was the police officer. He asked if we knew how to get to Lisa's, and I told him yes. He said for us to go ahead over there to get our daughter. Everyone was in the front yard. The officer stopped me at the edge of Lisa's driveway, because she didn't want me on her property, which was fine with me. Joey decided to be a big man and come storming up to where I was standing. The officer warned him off, and Joey told him that he couldn't stop him from talking to me because I was his ex-wife. The officer offered him a cell for the night.
In the meantime, Kate was sobbing and crying, trying to come to me, and Lisa wasn't letting her. She was holding her by the arm. Another officer offered her a cell, as well. She let go of Kate, and my poor little girl came straight to me and threw her arms around my neck, sobbing and apologizing. I told her everything was fine, and to go get in the truck with my husband.
Dwayne came walking towards me. The officers started to warn him off, but I told them that I would talk to him if it was okay with them. He came over apologizing, telling me that he had no idea about this latest plan of Lisa's. He proceeded to tell me that his mother was completely insane â?" a point on which I agreed whole heartedly. He then asked if there was any way that he could come home with us, as well. He said he wanted nothing to do with Lisa and Joey.
I told him that I didn't have a problem with that. I had no problem with him whatsoever. He ran in, threw some clothes in a bag, and came back out. Lisa suddenly realized what was happening and she went ballistic. She began screaming at me that I couldn't take him, he belonged to her. She went on to say that I could take Kate, but not Dwayne. I told the officer that Dwayne was eighteen. The officer asked him for identification, which he had and gladly showed. They said he was free to do what he wanted, as long as we were okay with him coming with us. They told Lisa that she had no say in where he went, and he joined Kate in the truck.
The officer informed me that if we should see Lisa or Joey on our street (which was a dead end) to call the station immediately and they would be picked up, as both of these brilliant souls had threatened my life to the officers.
We went home, where we set Dwayne up on the couch. Kate was still beside herself, thinking that we were angry with her. I think a lot of it was feeling guilty on her part because of the situation that she had gotten us all into. I told her that all I wanted was a hug, and then she could go to bed. We hugged, and everyone went to sleep.
By Monica Chaddick
Kate's birthday was coming up, and she and Dwayne were talking about getting married when she was old enough. She had actually asked me about signing for them to get married early, since they were having a baby. I told her that I would rather that not be the main reason for their marriage. I explained that I thought it would be better to wait until after she had the baby and her hormones were a bit settled before making that kind of a major decision.
Dwayne, Kate, myself, and my husband had all sat down and talked about the situation with Lisa and Joey. Dwayne didn't want to continue to live next door to them, especially since she was lying about the money and making Joey physically attack him on a regular basis. We agreed that Dwayne could move in with us if he wanted to help out with bills. It wouldn't cost him as much as he was paying Lisa, and he wouldn't be getting beat up. He readily agreed.
A couple of days later, Lisa caught Dwayne at his house packing his stuff. Of course, they got into a big fight about it, with her trying to tell him that he couldn't make that decision and he had to listen to her. Joey came and got involved, naturally, and all hell broke loose. Dwayne got out with some clothes and things, but most of his belongings he just counted as a loss.
Lisa wasn't done. As a matter of fact, she was just gearing up to get started. I received a letter on my door the next day from Child Protective Services (CPS). They needed to meet with our family regarding an abuse complaint that they had received. This truly freaked me out, as I had never had to deal with CPS before. I had four kids of my own, and we had always had various other kids from the neighborhood living with us. We were the "runaway house". Parents knew that their kids were safe with us, and we had never once had a problem. In fact, at the time, we had a police officer's daughter living with us because she and her father had had a falling out.
Somehow, before they came back, we found out what the complaint was about. Lisa had reported us for allowing an adult (Dwayne) to live with our minor daughter. Once more, she thought she had the upper hand. If they determined that he was living there, they would either fine us or put us in jail. They were definitely going to arrest him and put him in jail. I decided that there was only one way to resolve this situation. My husband and I took them to the courthouse and I signed for them to get married early. When CPS showed up a couple of days later for the appointment, we showed them the marriage license. They thanked us and went on their way, closing out that complaint. Little did we know that this was just the tip of the ice burg.
It wasn't long before another complaint came our way. This time, when the case worker showed up, she needed to see that we had food in the house. We showed her the kitchen, which was always well stocked. She then began asking about Kate's WIC products, stating that the report was that we were taking all of her WIC and we weren't allowing her to eat. Kate showed her to her room, with the nice crib, all the baby stuff, and the well â?" stocked mini fridge. The case worker told her how absolutely lucky she was. She also told her that if she knew who was telling these lies, she needed to get that person out of her life because they were trying to cause her trouble. Again, the case was closed.
There were several more complaints filed. Several regarding groceries, stating that there was no food in the house. There was another complaint that said there were twenty something year old men sleeping with my other, younger daughter under our roof. Another favorite complaint was that the house was filthy and that there was feces all over the floors. I especially loved the add on that my youngest child was playing on the floor in the feces. My youngest child was approximately twelve years old at the time of the complaint.
Through all of these complaints, no matter how much evidence pointed to Lisa being the person that was complaining, Dwayne didn't really want to believe it. He admitted that she was crazy, but he didn't think that she would go so far as to try to have my kids taken away. Kate wanted to make him happy, so they continued to try to maintain some sort of relationship with Lisa. Kate felt that maybe they could pacify her and keep the peace that way. I didn't see that happening, but it was really up to Dwayne and Kate, not me.
By Monica Chaddick
Kate and Dwayne decided that they would work out a visitation schedule for the baby so that it would be fair for both sides of the family. Of course, Lisa never accepted that this was fair, because ultimately I got to see the baby more because they lived with me. Never mind that I worked all the time.
Just before the baby was born, they found out that Lisa was pregnant â?" again. This time she was having a girl. Dwayne still had a bunch of baby stuff in his house, and Lisa began going in and stealing what she wanted. This, understandably, caused some friction.
Once Kate and Dwayne had their baby, Lisa wanted Kate to tell me that I could only go to the hospital at certain times. This was so she and Joey could go together to see the baby, as if we didn't all know already that they were together. Kate told her no, that she could come and Joey could come and we could go and everyone could just manage to get along with one another. We had no problem with that â?" they did. Lisa really got pissed because she was supposed to be making Kate a wreath for the hospital door, but she never made it. Kate was disappointed, because hers was the only door without something, so I decided to make her one myself.
When they came home, Lisa immediately wanted them to begin going to her house. Kate had to have a c â?" section, and she was still in school, and she was a new mother. She was exhausted and didn't want to start getting out every other night to go visiting. We opened our door, telling Dwayne and Kate that anyone they wanted was welcome to come to our house to see them and the baby and we wouldn't interrupt the visits. One night, we even watched Lisa's baby boy, who was just sitting up, so that she could go in Kate's room and visit with the baby. Soon enough, though, she had Kate and Dwayne convinced that they needed to start getting out and going to her house. After all, she was pregnant again and she was too tired to keep coming to our house. Besides, she didn't care for the fact that when she showed up at midnight or later, everyone at our house was in bed already.
The visitation schedule began. Regardless of the weather, Lisa insisted on her nights. They had to drag the baby out in the rain and the cold to go visit. What really ticked Kate off was that half the time, Lisa and Joey weren't even home when they went. Then when they decided to come rolling in, Lisa would get angry because it was time for them to go home. Kate tried numerous times to explain to her that when they set a time she needed to be home if she wanted to see her granddaughter, but she wouldn't listen.
Once I went back to work and Kate went back to school, Lisa decided that she wanted to babysit. My job started at nine in the morning, but I could push it to about nine forty five. I dropped the baby off to Lisa once, and only once, to babysit. She answered the door in a teddy, complaining that it was way too early for me to drop off the baby. Kate went to pick her up after school, and Lisa complained to her. After that, my mother began to babysit, or I would take the baby to work with me.
One evening, when Kate was at Lisa's for her visit, she and Lisa got into an argument about something. I don't remember what the argument was about, but I do remember that Kate was using my van. She grabbed her things and picked up the baby to leave. Lisa attacked her from behind, almost knocking her down. Kate got the van door opened and put the baby in her car seat. As she was about to go around the van to get in the driver's seat, Lisa tried to grab the baby out of the van. Kate freaked out, running back around the van and screaming at Lisa. Lisa kept pushing at Kate, trying to get to the baby. Finally, Kate shoved Lisa, and Lisa fell back against the side mirror.
Kate showed up at my job (thankfully I was the store manager), completely beside herself. She had called home, and her sister and brothers came pulling in right behind her, along with my husband. I sent everyone into my office and I followed, trying to find out what in the world was going on. Kate finally got the jest of the story out. The reason she was so upset was because Lisa had told her that she was calling Joey, and there was no telling what he would do when he found out that she had pushed his pregnant girlfriend. I told everyone to stay in my office and lock the door.
Well, of course, people don't listen. Kate left the baby in the office with her siblings, but she and my husband came out. Joey came flying into the parking lot, jumped off his motorcycle, and came storming up to the doors of my store. I began immediately to attempt to settle him down. He wasn't hearing it. He was going to kill Kate, he said. She had signed her own death warrant, he said. I said he was getting out of my store or he was going to jail â?" again. Several of my customers were gathering behind me, as well, and one of my employees was poised to call the police. Finally he left, with enough yelling and threatening of basically the whole entire family.
Sure enough, and no surprise to the rest of us, CPS showed up at the house again. This was approximately their fifth visit to our family within a year. This time, however, she had really gone too far. She told them that I was a drug addict and that I was doing and selling methamphetamines. She further told them that, if there was food in the house, I was putting my drugs in the food and drugging the whole household. She demanded that the baby be removed from my home and placed with her.
CPS brought the police, who thoroughly searched my house and of course found absolutely nothing. However, because there had been so many complaints, they felt that Kate and the baby should leave my house until their investigation was complete. This was heart breaking to my whole family. However, there was a bright side. They said that Kate and the baby could go to my mother's to stay. They did not have to stay with Lisa. Also, we could see the baby whenever we wanted. They were gone for seven days, until the investigation cleared us once again.
During the time that Kate and the baby were at my mother's, Lisa had her baby. This time, she finally had a little girl. Of course, she demanded that Dwayne, Kate, and the baby go and visit them in the hospital. They went, still attempting to keep the peace.
Eventually, everything blew up, which was most definitely not a surprise. Lisa pretty much gave them an ultimatum. She didn't want them living with me, and she didn't want me seeing the baby. She refused any type of compromise. This, among other things, led Dwayne and Kate to decide that Lisa and Joey were no longer welcome in their lives. Lisa wanted a choice made, and they had made one. This didn't stop her endless need for revenge against myself or my family, however.
By Monica Chaddick
SUMMARY OF CHAPTERS 1-9: My daughter's mother-in-law wants to keep my daughter and her baby to herself and away from us, her family. She has attempted to brainwash my daughter and marry her off to her son. She is having an affair with my ex-husband (my daughter's bio dad) while he is married to his second wife. She and my ex have stalked us and sent child protective services numerous times. Finally, her son has even gotten away from her.
Lisa and Joey began stalking in earnest after that. They would call my husband's job and file complaints against him. They would follow him down the road calling him names. Any time that they saw any of us in public, they would start yelling obscenities and trying to start trouble.
During all of this, Dwayne and Kate had another baby â?" a boy this time. While I was out on vacation for the birth of the baby, I found out that the company was going under and my store was being closed in a few months. After it closed, I was able to draw unemployment for a few months, so I stayed home to enjoy my grandkids.
Lisa and Joey began frequenting the grocery store nearest my house, because they knew that was the one that we shopped at. It was across town from where they lived and there was another store of the same brand nearer to them. This didn't matter, though, because they couldn't cause enough trouble, there.
One day, Kate and I were grocery shopping with the kids. We saw that Lisa was in the store, as well, and we attempted to stay away from her. We even went so far as to go all the way to the other side of the store so that we wouldn't be anywhere near her. In true fashion, though, Lisa followed wherever we went. She would call names and make all sorts of ugly comments. She even went so far as to tell Kate that no one would want to see her kids because they were so ugly.
Finally, she went to check out. Kate and I intentionally stayed away from the cash registers. We even waited about fifteen extra minutes before checking out so as to allow her time to leave the parking lot. However, when we headed out of the store, there she was. She was parked right by the door with the vehicle running.
First of all, she actually came at us, as if she were going to hit the buggy with the babies in it. My other daughter was with us, as well, so I grabbed one kid and handed to her and the other to carry myself. Kate was pushing the buggy with the groceries. Lisa whipped around and came down the driveway, headed right for Kate and the buggy. She stopped when she got a little ways past us, and jumped out of her vehicle, but left it running.
She came running at Kate, and shoved her â?" hard. Kate regained her balance, turned, and warned Lisa that she had better not try that again. Lisa backed her van up closer to Kate. She jumped out again, and again she shoved Kate. That was it! Kate had reached her limit. She left the buggy and gave chase. This was exactly what Lisa wanted, apparently. When Lisa got to her van, she threw herself into the driver's seat and slammed the door. Kate stopped right at the door. Lisa reached out, grabbed a handful of Kate's hair, banged Kate's head against the side of the van, and began to drive off, dragging Kate with her.
I didn't even think. I tossed the kid that I had to my daughter and took off after Lisa and Kate. Evidently, Kate was fighting harder than Lisa thought she would, because the van stopped. Kate was swinging her fists, but she couldn't really see. Lisa was hanging out the driver's side window. I reached through the window and grabbed a chunk of Lisa's hair. Kate did the same. We both yanked and each came away with a good sized chunk of hair, leaving her two bald spots. She let go of Kate and threw the door open again. She began kicking at us. I got a pretty good punch in on her temple, and Kate was punching and kicking, as well. Finally, Lisa extracted herself from us and tore off.
We headed back to my vehicle, and I was already on the phone calling the police. Of course, Lisa didn't go far. She went back to where she had originally waited for us and parked. She then got on the phone and called Joey, who came tearing into the parking lot five minutes later. These two people that Kate and I had noticed in the store walking near Lisa, now went over to her vehicle. We assumed that they were paid witnesses for her, and we weren't wrong.
Kate had called Dwayne to tell him what was going on, and he came running down to the store from our house. The moment that Lisa saw her son, she began screaming and acting as though she were afraid of him. She insisted to the police officer that he was unstable and dangerous and that he should be arrested. The officer maced him and threw him in the back of the police car. It turned out that this particular officer had gone to high school with me and Joey and he was buddies with Joey.
He came over, acting all important and superior. He began threatening myself and my daughters with arrest. He was chastising us and reading us the riot act. In the meantime, my husband had also received a call from my other daughter and he had called his brother. His brother was the boss over this other officer, and he radioed him and gave him a talking to regarding Joey and Lisa. The officer definitely lost some of the wind in his sails and finally said that we were free to go.
| Author Notes |
CHARACTER LIST:
Kate and Samantha = my daughters Dwayne = Kate's boyfriend; Lisa's son Lisa = Dwayne's mother Joey = my ex-husband; Kate and Samantha's bio dad |
By Monica Chaddick
SUMMARY: My daughter's mother-in-law is having an affair with my ex, who is married to someone else. She has attempted to brainwash my daughter against our entire family. She has stalked and harassed my family relentlessly.
Lisa wasn't happy with just terrorizing my immediate household. She ran across my husband's niece and mother in a nail salon and began to have words with them. Once more, my brother-in-law was called.
No one in our family was safe from comment or confrontation. Lisa and Joey would prank call my mother. They attempted to open accounts and things in our names. They sent strange mail to our house. Joey was adept at breaking and entering. One day, I got home and every single door in the entire house was open. Every closet, every cabinet, every drawer. Nothing missing, just open. We had dogs stolen from our back yard. Our fence was cut. There was always something.
Imagine how overjoyed I was one day when we pulled up the arrest records on the local news app and Lisa and Joey's faces appeared. They were arrested for selling drug paraphernalia across the street from a high school. God help us, we were ecstatic. I know how mean that sounds, but we just couldn't help it. They had been harassing us for so long.
Of course, they still weren't done. Dwayne and Kate had found a little house down the road from us that they wanted to rent. They moved in, and Dwayne was working at a local fast food establishment. Lisa called and made up some very nasty stuff that she said Dwayne was doing to the food, and they let him go. I had just gotten a job in a kitchen in a restaurant downtown. I talked to my boss and helped Dwayne to get a job there.
The next thing I knew, Kate called me one day before work. She sounded extremely upset. She needed me to come over to her house right away. I thought maybe something was wrong with one of the kids, but that wasn't the issue. There was a woman standing in their living room when I arrived. She was from CPS. She had received a report that Kate and Dwayne were drug addicts. Dwayne needed to be brought for a drug test immediately. Once he returned, Kate was to go. In the meantime, the CPS worker was going to stay with the one that was home.
I took them down one at a time. Of course, they passed. Dwayne and I went to work that evening in a very bad mood. A few days later, Lisa's brother and his wife showed up at the restaurant. Before being seated, they wanted to know if we were working. We both were, but we had someone else make their order, so the joke was on them.
Eventually, another CPS worker showed up at my house. I got home one day and she was sitting on my porch swing. When she told me who she worked for, I came unglued. I had most definitely reached my complete and total limit with all of this crap. I cut loose on this poor woman like she had just killed my dog or something. I listed all of the complaints that I figured she might be there for. I went over all of the previous visits, and the results from them. I told her in no uncertain terms who she should be investigating instead of me. I informed her that the grandkids didn't even live at my house anymore, and that she was barking up the wrong tree. Finally, I told her that I was completely and totally done with all of their investigations and crap and they weren't setting another foot inside my house without a warrant. When I was done, this poor lady closed her notebook, stood up, thanked me for my time, apologized, and left. We got a letter two days later saying that the case was closed.
I must say, I was pretty proud of myself. No one came back to my house, but of course they did show back up at Dwayne and Kate's place. First, however, they went to my granddaughter's school and interviewed her. CPS decided that Kate's house needed a bit of cleaning. They set a date to come back and check on the condition of the house. The whole family got together and got it done. Once more, the trouble was averted.
In the meantime, the kitchen that Dwayne and I were working in got taken over by this jerk of a kitchen manager, and we ended up quitting that job and moving on to another restaurant in town. Lisa was already harassing my other daughter at her job. Now she found out that we had changed jobs, and she began to come by quite frequently. She would go through the drive thru window, which we both worked near, and she would make all sorts of negative, nasty comments.
Sadly, Kate and Dwayne had been having problems. Lisa took advantage of the drive thru window, and her friend that told her we were working there, to begin talking to Dwayne again. At first, she would just call him to the window. Eventually, she got him to go out back when she would come to the restaurant. It didn't take her long to worm her way back in with Dwayne. He began trying to get Kate to agree to talk to Lisa and Joey again, but Kate stood her ground. Eventually, Dwayne had an affair and got the girl pregnant. He kicked Kate and the kids out. He did do one thing right, though, and told Lisa and Joey to leave our family alone.
The last time that we had a problem with them, it didn't even really turn into a problem. My husband passed away, and Lisa followed Kate to the funeral home when we went to plan the funeral. Thankfully, she didn't come in or say anything, but I was extremely concerned about what might happen at the funeral. Because of this, I spoke to my brother-in-law. The day of my husband's funeral found armed guards at every door of the church, and each one had pictures of Lisa and Joey. They didn't show up, thankfully. Occasionally, Kate has a problem or two with Dwayne. He doesn't want to pay his child support, he doesn't see the kids, the usual stuff. So far, we have not had any more problems with Lisa and Joey, but we haven't let our guards down. You just never can tell with people like them.
| Author Notes |
CHARACTER LIST:
Kate and Samantha = my daughters Dwayne = Kate's boyfriend; Lisa's son Lisa = Dwayne's mother Joey = my ex-husband; Kate and Samantha's bio dad |
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