By Spitfire
in my hands
an unused Kleenex
waits for blow job
By Spitfire
haikus and senryus
divide strict syllable count
high school students stumped
By Spitfire
thin hair and thick flab
cast actor in old man role
first case of age fright
By Spitfire
internet sales
seduce credit card users
loan sharks in plastic
By Spitfire
saggy pants the rage
teen boys show off patterned briefs
bumpers vie for eye
By Spitfire
dull sitcoms upstaged
by creative commercials
what was the product?
| Author Notes |
sitcoms: short for situational comedies which have a storyline and ongoing characters in a comedic narrative.
Does anyone have a clue what the pictured commercial photo is about? Just found it under Google Images Creative Commercials |
By Spitfire
outdoor food vendor
sells beans to chilly walkers
wanting windbreakers
By Spitfire
virginity quenched,
impressive wedding lays claim
to bride's high moment
By Spitfire
hurry up, then wait
doctor's behind by two hours
well, now I am too
By Spitfire
offer the peace sign
pastor prompts coughing church crowd
elbow pumps resound
| Author Notes | During flu sentence, our church posts a sign: Shake hands at your own discretion. |
By Spitfire
browbeaten husband
retreats to his quiet place
bowel movement on way
By Spitfire
doctor first injects
collagen into surface
fondles cheeks after
| Author Notes | Trust me. This was a piece of cake compared to eyebrow and eye liner tattoo. |
By Spitfire
check male or female
with no other valid choice
genderation gap
By Spitfire
Cancer survivor
Questions un-itemized bill
"Lump sum,” Doc responds.
By Spitfire
plastic
abused for pricey online purchases
barred card
By Spitfire
wannabe writers
silenced by competitors
victims of mute kill
By Spitfire
drivers spin
axels on black ice
metal contenders
| Author Notes |
An axel jump is a figure skating jump where the take-off is on a forward outside edge.
A car axle is the part of a car that connects the front and rear wheels to the car. |
By Spitfire
ten laxative brands
fail to produce movement
none worth a shit
By Spitfire
one-ply or two-ply
tissue's the issue
absorbing question
| Author Notes | A 5-5-5. Senryu's don't have a specific line count but are limited to 17 syllables. |
By Spitfire
blooming weeds push through
full bush at back office door
sperm donor entrance
By Spitfire
big deal
you don't smoke or drink
but can you fold
a fitted sheet?
| Author Notes | Senryu's can be four lines. |
By Spitfire
muse works fast
to satisfy writer's itch
rank results
| Author Notes | Rank has several meanings. Among them: in bad taste or coarse. Also can refer to a bad smell. |
By Spitfire
no longer needed
Santas now tossed out of malls
dependent clauses
By Spitfire
dog and pony show
axed by rattled FS fans
return of classic
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Tom for giving us a choice.
Last line is a pun related to the popular TV show "Lassie," back in the fifties. A Canadian company produced an updated Lassie TV show in the late 1990s, with Timmy and his widowed mom living in Hudson Falls, Vt. The series didn't gain much traction and sparked outrage from some Lassie fans who complained that it was tampering with an American icon. See a parallel here? |
By Spitfire
stool pigeon
marks criminal's car
bird duty
By Spitfire
wrapping paper rips
tape sticks to my tired face
gift cards next Christmas
By Spitfire
sour diners
complain of slow service
crabapple table
| Author Notes | A crabapple has a sour, pithy taste. |
By Spitfire
nursing home patients
served dinner for discussion
liver and kidneys
By Spitfire
easy to I.D.
furniture stolen by thieves
name written in dust
By Spitfire
plump half circle
glistens white in night sky
God's mooning us
| Author Notes |
mooning: the act of baring one's butt at someone in order to shock or disrespect them, is one of the world's oldest and funniest physical insults.
|
By Spitfire
women past fifty
practice new morning ritual
plucking tough chin hairs
By Spitfire
twice a month
Mother pays visit
child once more
By Spitfire
nine needles needed
to numb tongue, left lip and gum
tasored naughty tooth
| Author Notes | tasored-as in paralyzed or stunned though use of shock. |
By Spitfire
grocery lines lengthen
while senior shoppers debate
paper or plastic
| Author Notes | Grocery can be two or three syllables according to my dictionary. |
By Spitfire
decades old mirror
glimpses my new spiked red hair
seven years' bad luck
| Author Notes | Thanks Google images for the wild picture. I did spike my hair but not so extreme. |
By Spitfire
long power outage
means cereal for dinner
car locked in garage
| Author Notes | This actually happened. |
By Spitfire
erotic novel
lands in reader's handy lap
cover-up motion
By Spitfire
hung over new dad
must change baby's diaper
high anxiety
| Author Notes | diaper is three syllables |
By Spitfire
overbooked doctors
stock novels in waiting room
War and Peace best bet
| Author Notes |
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy is approximately 1370 pages.
Thanks to Boxergirl for suggested change from overworked to overbooked. |
|
You've read it - now go back to FanStory.com to comment on each chapter and show your thanks to the author! |
| © Copyright 2015 Spitfire All rights reserved. Spitfire has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. |
© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Statement