By Ricky1024
"Prologue"
By Ricky1024
"The Book The Gift of life Two" was written on November 30th 2014 while I was incarcerated In a Correction Facility here In New Jersey for 61 days.'
"After missing three holidays, my thoughts and dreams were basically of pain."
"While I could not be with my family I focused on my writings and my losses which this book is all about."
"My thoughts and my pains {Correctional appeal with much Gladly Appeal} a book of many, many, gifts from my four beautiful daughters, grandchildren, my amazing gift to emote and share thoughts most writer's tuck away, to my losses..
"My second chance...
"My "Gift of Life!!"
"Within the Parameter's of The Moon's Glow."
{Chapter number One}
"Within the 'Depths of human man...
"Within the Simplicity" that no one will ever be able to *understand...
'Within "The Reality" of Eternity" lies just the one...
"All alone...
"No one evers calls...
"On my cell phone...
"No one calls and no one stays...
"As I pray for a better day...
"And I miss**You Jay..
...
"Within the "Depths Of Human Comprehension...
"He suffers and will never ***mention...
"How he suffers so...
"Erasing the 'Moon's Glow...
"If only he knew...
"If only he would so...
"Step back in time and let it all go!'
...
"But he can't as he should, if only he could...
"As a star is ****estinquished, relinquished...
"In the loneliness of the sullen night...
"Out of sight, soon he will make it though...
"All right on these ever so...
"Lonely of nights....
...
"The burners with his grasp will never last as he grabs and grasps the "Butchering knife!"
"To make it again...
"All right?"
...
"Forget me see?"
"There is nothing more or less...
'Let of me...
"Lost the best you see?"
""For an eternity!'"
...
"I must now go back to re-light "The Moon's Glow" and if and when...
"You see me again...
"You'll know...
"That I an not far as a star ...
"Estinguished and relinquished...
"And you'll feel this place...
"Take a moment...
"You'll see...
"Then you shall finally realize...
"Just where I shall be...
by Jason Richard Smrkovsky.
Author Notes |
*Understand-My pain.
**You Jay- My only son Jason whom passed away March 30th, 2003 from a terrible car accident* ***mentioned-Most people will never talk about the worst nightmare... "The loss of a child!" *Accident- "Jason died not from the brain damage but after the macvhine was stopped and after the very, last, usable, organ was extracted from my amazing son." "To learn more about "Organ-Tissue Donation call 1-800-Donors-1" "The Gift Of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. "Lara S. Moreeti the LSW." ****Extinguished-My three suicide attempts in December 2006." "Special thanks goes out first to Heavenly Father and His only Son, Jesus Christ, Fanstory, and Tom the administrator, and last but not in the least, this amazing and talented artist "Angelheart" and her pic "Waiting for Daddy." |
By Ricky1024
"Way Back When, With This Pen" {A}
By Ricky 1024
1/26/2015
Written on Inmate Letterhead.
Part of {109 books in a 63 day stay}.
Started at 11:11PM. Finished 11:19PM.
Cell #4
"The Ocean County Correctional Facility Toms river, NJ.
{Written in "Old-English}
2003
"Whench all!"
"A nightmare tis about to begin!"
"Men pretend someday they must end!"
Amend!"
"Theology24.22}."
...
"And, whench one day pretend, thouest when pure evil thy must faceth, a mere cruel end!" {Theology24.23}.
'And also....
"Foreth in the face of that purest of evil, if thyest {in my spirit} faceth this purest of evil, Angels will cometh below to maketh amends!"
{Theology 24.24}
...
"So, let that nightmare begin!'
"Only the few will understand my point of view!"
"And as "The Winds of Grim" at command, {a most precious of gift} would be lost and tossed away like some head of cabbage!"
"My only Son Jason was almost dead!"
"Brain damaged as if a punctured head of cabbage, my only Son Jason would hath no choice but to give away...
"All usable organs...
"What other tis thy choice?"
"That sad, of God Why?"
"So sad of day."
I know not why?"
...
"No instrument of keys, no machines or tubes device could erase....
"What had happened...
"What was so....
'"Very, very, not nice."
"All of Jason's major and much needed organs would be taken for that's
thy way tis got to be...
...
" And as the "Winds of Desecration" blow away...
"Perhaps there canneth be...
"ANOTHER DAY?"
"Way Back When Again I Write With A Pen." {B}.
2015
By Ricky 1024
" Written today 1/28.2015 At the Ocean County Library in Manahawkin, NJ."
{ Estimated Time Started -1:36 PM.}
And Completed 1:
" As Again i write these words with this pen my freedom had perched
{For all that it is worth?}
"And again as I write with a pen by computer, I think not of the "Grim of Past Regrets" but of better times ahead!"
...
" Rainbows glow in hues of mercy and God now shaleth walketh with me!"
"And yes, I know that the future is defined with no reason to the rhyme but I must move forward and reflect the past that haunts me to this sad day and will always seem to last!"
...
" And as I finish this in a record of time I shalleth never forget you Son and dedicate this one... last...
Time...
To You and Only *you!"
Author Notes |
*you!- my Son Jason who passed away from a car accident in 2003.
"Special thanks goes out first and always to Heavenly Father and His only miss-forgotten Son Jesus Christ, and then Fan story and my friend Tom the Administrator and last but not in the least, this amazing and talented artist "Galia G." and his pic "Say, Bye Bye." |
By Ricky1024
"When I Wish, So Hard Upon A Star...
By Dr. Richard Edward Smrkovsky
{Written 11/26/2014}
"Written In Cell # 4 of "The Ocean County Correction Facility Toms River, New Jersey.
"Started at 3:00 AM. and Completed at 3:05AM. AM. EST."
"When I wish so hard...
"Upon a star no answer do I now hear...
"From afar."
"No voice, no face nor somber of...
"Embrace...
"My Wish...
"And whence my wish, so much I persist comes true...
"Will it be God...
"When I need before my time comes do?"
...
"When I wish so very, very, hard...
"Upon a star...
"I think of You, the past reflections...
"If only in *knew?"
...
"I would have spent more time with You instead of at work away the night and the day...
"Way back then...
'My **"Buddy Friend"...
"I would do...
"I would have spent more time...
"And I know think back then to all the Christmas's past...
"The **Month before at last...
"A son...
"My only one....
...
"Sleigh bells now don't glisten!'
"My wishing star isn't listening!'
"It's now all that now remains, distraught and caught in a web of ***discretion
heading forever in a downward direction!"
...
'"This was supposed to be a dream, a birthday ****celebration.
"Delightful nor FRIGHTFULL!"
"And as I awake, You were not here...
"Seems to me You just...
"Disappeared?"
"Never to return no matter how many stars I'm wishing...
"No basketball games I am watching or your songs Your voice
"Just pictures and foggy images in an old, glassen, frame,..
"Just rusted memories ...
"Screaming out Your name...
Author Notes |
*knew-"**Buddy Friend"- my first poem written out of hunderd's of thousands {through jason'd Spirit and on jason's conmputer } only three weeks after his dearth."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>"Buddy Friend."<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> {April 24, 2003} "A dedication to Jason's Friends and family" "I'm not her right now... "But i'nm not far... "It's a place close by... "Not far like a star... ... "You'll feel this place... "Take just a moment... "You'll see'''' "And then you will know... "Just where i will be... {A dedication by Jason Richard smkovsy through his Father "Jason was killed in a terrible and tragic accident. ***Month- "The actual death for jay is listed as March 30th, 2003 but as an organ donor the last machine keeping His heart beating was diss-connected April 1st {April Fool's day 2003." ****Discretion- Jason was only about two miles celebrating His oldest Daughter Nichole's birthday that day." "It was at Nicole's father's house {as I am just the step-father, I was not invited and if I was... "that crazy and mentally-ill kid would never have driven my Jason... "Home... "Special thanks goes out first to heavenly father sand his only Son Jesus Christ, Fan story and tom the administrator, Fan Art Review and this amazing artist" Birds Eye view" along with the picture "Father and Son"s Joy Ride and last but not least my only Son Jason Richard Smrkovsky 11-05-1984~3-30-2003. 'Jason was an Organ and tissue donor.' To learn more about "Organ-Tissue donor's and helping Call 1-8---DONORS-1 and tell my friend Lara S.Moretti the LSW. with "The Gift of Life" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania that Jay said hey!" Ricky1024.. Thanks... |
By Ricky1024
<><><><><><><><><><><><>Jason Richard Smrkovsky<><><><><><><>
************************************************By Ricky1024************************************
**********************************************A *Dedication}**********************************
"You were more then some guy I smiled at...
"You were always someone whom I could say hi to...
"You were a brother that I never wanted...
"To say goodbye to...
...
"You were someone I talked to when my world turned upside down...
"You made me laugh and smile when I cried with a frown...
"You told me You were always going to be there...
"Now when I need You the most...
'I can't find You anywhere...
***
"J.J. It will never be the same with out You...
{Cross} 11-05-1984 {Heart} 3-31-2003 {Cross}
"We love You so much, You will always have a special place...
"In our Hearts...
"Memories, dreams, and prayers...
"Life for You Was so short...
"Why God did He have to part?"
...
"We love You always...
"And forever...
"You live on ...
'In our Hearts...
...
"Your little sisters*
Erica, Lisa, Shauna
*R.I.P.* J.J.
*This asterisk I'm not sure what it meant?
Any help?
Author Notes |
*Dedication-To honor someone special.
"Jason was special." "Even though he couldn't say "Goodbye." "He will always be remembered in the four who's life was embellished." "To learn more about this amazing program simply call my friend Lara S. Marti the L.S.W. with... "The Gift of Life" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and tell Lara that Jay Say's hi." "Dad. "Special thanks goes out first and always to Heavenly Father and His late Son Jesus the Christ, Fan Story, Fan Art Review, this Artist, 'sonshine' the picture 'The Boy and His Toy' and last but not in the least... "My amazing Son... Jason Richard Smrkovsky" |
By Ricky1024
<><><><><>"I Mourn'd but Will Mourn Every Spring" {A}{<><><><><><><><>
********************************By Ricky 1024****************************************
Written on August 10, 2015 at 8::14 PM.
"Walt Whitman"
Variation #1
"The Sands of time reflect the pain of man's love for a Gift....
"Now so far, far *above."
...
'The 'Ides of March'...
"the return of Spring...
'Easter's Delight' and Christ's death.
"April 1, 2003 {April Fool's Day} will always and forever...
"Take away my very last BREATH."'
...
"Years pass as memories will always last but...
"You always said that You would forever and always be..
"There for me so why?"
"Why each and everyday I awake and cry...
'Want so much to just crawl up and DIE."'
"So why...
"Did You have to die?"
"Why each and every day I awake and cry...
'Want so much to just die?"
"Jay?"
Additional poem story in a dream by Ricky 10:24
The Day that Death Came To !
By Ricky 1024
Note-this poem in story is being transferred through an Android phone.
I don't have access to a laptop or computer as I'm in a convalescent rehab center as I had been in a major accident October 11th and I have a 18 inch titanium rod bolted and screwed into the my leg.
So with that in mind there will be one continuous sentence.
It would take too long to separate all over with this tiny device!
So, read it slowly and review it through content not grammical errors.
The year was 1994 my son Jason had been missing!
He was only 10 years old...
...
The police put out an all points bulletin and searched for him with no luck.
After that unsuccessful attempt (a month later) I hired a private detective who also had no luck.
And then there was other abductions.
Abductionse of other children from other states besides New Jersey!
Two disappeared that year from New York, three from Pennsylvania, one from Ohio, one from California, one from Florida, and six from Texas!
Nobody could figure out where the children were? It was or was it the same abductor?
...
Twenty long years went by as I was plagued!
I could not sleep!
I could not eat wondering what had happened to my child?
My child now who would actually be thirty years ol
d?
The year now is March 2014.
I decided to take matters in my own hands and with a limited bank account, I left by plane to the Middle East.
I landed in an airport in Syria where the whole incident supposedly took place according to a man at the hotel .
I was talking to him as he says quote...
Oh yes American I have heard of a place where they gathered many many young children from the United States to fight to the death!
First they were trained with the sword of play and then they were put in a cage to fight for their lives!
If they did not do this they would be punished and murdered!
So, it started here...
Pair after pair...
Death after death!
On and on this went one exhibition every month!
For no more or less than three years !
The two remaining children(both 13 year olds) )one was my son and one was a black child.
He was abducted from Houston Texas.
Both children have become excellent defenders with the sword of play and they too would have to fight to the death because the remaining child would have to fight an unknown opponent who they had not met!
:-) :-) :-) :-)
The battle was long and tedious both children had suffer numerous injuries non life sustaining for neither wanted the other to DIE!!
They had become friends...
End of part one.
Part two.
Neither wanted to die!
The unlikely person (which happened to be Winston Williams the young black child) did DIE as he later in a pool of blood dying from wounds inflicked with a spear by SATAN!
Why not me?
I want to die !
I don't want to be here anymore if I cannot be with my family!!!
Well, well, young warrior you very well may have your chance because next month you will face my son by Azura from Inferno Hell!
...
So, one month passes as the spectators gather from Inferno Hell!
The Black Rope and Crushing Hells of Hell!
Vajara Hell !
The Cold Hells of Hell and The Howling Hellls of Hell all the way to the very last The Eight Hells of Hell or Hell for a Day!!!
And they watch with anticipation as Satan throws only one sword into the cage!!!
And then he introduced his 10 year old son who even though younger was larger than Jason he said this is my son this is my blood he will fight for the supremacy to the death for the supremacy of the life made a better man win!!!
Oh my God!
He has resurrected Jason ...
End of part two.
Part three.
So it started with a flurry as both young children fighting for that sword, that ssword of play, that sword of life!!!
Jason grabbed it first and with one mighty swing hacked off Satan's demon child left hand!
He slipped on the blood and fell down!
That is when his son Azura grabs the sword and plunged it deep into the head of my child!
And yes that had happened 20 years ago my American friend for I actually experienced it for I used to be evil and I got the second chance! The taxi man said.
I pray to God to end of my foolish life and send me from hell to a place of eternal rest in between heaven and hell!
...
So, I left in his car as he took me to this location!
I saw the fighting and killing cage!
I saw the grave sites and I saw the victims each lined up perfectly with their skulls on top of the grave sites!
And I saw the one with my son a spear was stuck in the ground and the necklace I'd given to him when he was born was still wrapped around his neck by detached it but there around my neck!
And I broke down in tears I felt like I was there forever morning and I said God why me why me why do I have to suffer so and why did he had to die so?
So viciously and why not me?
Take me Lord God take me now take me give me an opportunity!
I want to die so slowly!
So back in that dreaded and bloody ring...
My wish came true as my heart slowly stop beating!
I felt my soul rise and it was rising upwards higher and higher and higher but when I awoke I was not in a better place it was dank and dark and smelled of
rotted FLESH!!,
...
I gathered my grief and started walking not knowing where I was going I glanced at a sign that said hell this way stay to the right!
And do not go to the left you will die in the pit of eternal flames!
So, I did as instructed even though I thought it might be a trick!
Luckily it wasn't but unfortunately it was as I came into a large and open area.
There was an arena there and in that arena there was a ring of fire with two swords in the ring and a vial.
There was many demons and people who used to be. - it been cursed for the deeds of rape murder and other various and nasty things!
These would be humans pimps that used to drug their victims!
Police officers who are pure evil and use their weapons not for protection and so on and so on.
They were all there in their uniforms and clothing of the past all lizard holes as if they had been there forever I walked closer and then I was led to the arena was told to go and I did not resist .
A voice came across some kind of eerie microphone system stating welcome my friend to our entertainment!
And tonight you and your dream will come true!
You said that you wanted revenge, you cried and mourn your son at his death site!
You crave your God and I know all of the things you wanted and more are going to come true!
You want to fight the person and kill the person who killed your son!
Well,first let me make one thing perfectly clear...
...
Your son meant nothing !!!
My son means everything!!!
My sons name is Azara which stands for almost Bionic ultimate repelling alien!!!
He's a manufactured piece of me!
A material...Can't you see
he is able to do in 1 2 3 exactly what I want of he!!!
Your sons name was Jason Jason on earth is representing the month of July, August, September, October, and November! Your birth, your son's birth October and November)!
And your three of your four ugly daughters!!!
...
End of part three.
Part Four The conclusion to
to The Day that Death Came To!
So Priest, you have your family to defend and there are two swords in a ring..
A Ring of FIRE!!!
And in a while, I will have nothing to do with the fire and I will have everything with your impending DEATH!!
...
This will an eight round fight to the death!
And the winner takes over this dominion of Inferno Hell!
Now the loser will die a miserable and measly death and be transferred and released to a nasty place called Heaven!
...
So, I entered the ring a bell rang the referee by the name of Hulk Hogan said get it on!!!
As I left my corner, I grabbed my sword but nobody was there?
I wondered what or who am I supposed to fight?
Some spiritual ghost, some apperation, my sons spirit?
...
I said this is really freaking me out and then he appeared, taking his time a if he ruled the place!
All dressed in red, spiked horns upon his head with an evil red glow in his eyes!!!
As if flames from were coming from his mouth!
It was Satan himself and I had to fight Satan!
I was upset and I said I don't want to fight you that Wanted to fight your son!
Your son Azura!
..
He says...
You have to get past me first my priest friend...
And yes I know what you did on earth and I know what your son did to my son when he chopped off his hand!!!
So there are many cards on this table and the fight you're going to fight for...
Your dead son's memory and revenge!,!
...
I'm going to fight for my son's deformity now that he cannot will the weapon!!!
For that was his right hand!!!
Now he cannot defend himself but with one arm !!!
And no hand!!!
...
So, I listened and watched him grab his sword and as Hulk Hogan had said before...
Lets get it on!!!
We fought and we fought through the first round, the second and the third with no victory!
I felt exhausted through the fourth and fifth with no victory but injury!
We fought through the sixth and the seventh with serious injuries!!!
...
Exhausted and burned by the demons ability to exert flames and bleeding...
I was beaten and I was almost done!
As the bell rang, I felt done and sweaty awaiting for my ultimate and I impending doom as the bell rang again for the last time Hulk Hogan said lets get Done!!!
I picked up my sword and for the sake of my son's memory and the power of God walked forward but Satan would not come in?
I thought well maybe I'm going to win this for default and then he said...
Well now your dream will come true and you are going to have to fight my son Azura!
Two men of war...
No little young 10 year olds...
One a demon but now at the age of thirty Azura was massive!!!
I looked in the demons eyes and he was at least 400 pounds!!!
...
As if crafted from steroid pills, I thought to myself that I have my hands full!
He did not grab the sword because he could not defend himself for you had no right hand but he did decide to enter and he says to me...
Priest look what your son did to me and now I will kill you as I had done he!
...
Final Chapter...
As he flew through the air and plunged into me, I saw this but I felt pressure heavy...
A pounding down...
One time, to times, three times I felt...
I felt a strange and eerie dizziness as unconsciousness slowly rolled over me...
...
And then many thoughts started coming into my head!
They say that right before you die, you will relive your life in mere moments!!!
So yes, I saw myself as a child and then as a young man and then is an older man married!
I saw my first daughter my second and third daughter born and as I saw my only son born...
I felt that happiness again wich turned!
To rage for I knew you no longer existed that is when my heart started to beat!!!
It beat...
Ten,twenty,fifty,one hundred two...
My pressure was mounting I rose to my feet and I grabbed not the sword but the vile something told me from memory to drink!!!
...
I did and it was filled with vitamins it was filled with energy and it was filled with the spirit of the Creator Jesus Christ and His father Heavenly Father!!!
I instantly felt no pain from my wounds!
I felt no weakness anymore, I felt rage as I continue to write this and turn the page!!!
...
This giant demon this Azura from Vajara Hell!!
...
I had the use of both of my fists as I plummeted him! And yes he did not just go unconscious he died!!!
I stood up and looked at his father who was shocked and then I looked at the referee Hulk Hogan and I said these words....
...
Now you know how this is going to end!!!
Ricky 10:24 process through a ZTE Android phone with complete run off and together sentences no punctuation grammatical errors read slowly again and enjoy this piece as I did writing it and rated based on object of an object of contents and the imagery thank you Ricky 10:24
Author Notes |
Editor's Notes-
*above- a place they say we will always be they say. "To learn more about 'Organ-Tissue donations {like Jason} just call my dear Friend Lara S. Moretti the L. S. W. With the 'Gift of Life' Philadelphia, Pa. At 1-800-DONORS-1 and tell Lara that you read this and Jay said HI.. Thanks, Dad. "Special thanks goes out first and always to Heavenly Father and his late Son Jesus the Christ, Fan Story, Fan Artr Review and this amazing artist Mk Flood and his picture 'Blue City's Angel.' |
By Ricky1024
><><><><><><><><><>"BRAINLESS MODE!"<><><><><><><><><><><><><>
By Ricky1024
Slam-Poet of Laureate
"As I write these words that I WILL SOON FORGET...
"IT WILL BE A SURE BET THAT MY ACCIDENT IN 2013 CAUSED A LITTLRE BIT OF BRAIN-DAMAGE ...
"BUT CAN YOU SEE?"
"CAN YOU SEE THROUGH THE MIST?"
"CAN YOU FEEL MY PAIN AND ANOTHER SUICIDE ATTEMPT...
"AS I TRY TO RESIST?"
"AND CAN YOU FFEL THE SPARkS IGNITE AS I WRITE?"
"AS I WRITE THESE WORDS IN ONLY TWO MINUTES?"
"AS I PEEL AWAY OF MY"
...
"Is it all just a *nighmarishacal DREAM?"
"Sweet, Sweet, Darlene?"
Author Notes |
*nightmarishacal- This simply is a word that is derived in one of the many hells I have visited.
":Special thanks goes out first to Heavenly Father and His Late Son Jesus the Christ for this gift, to Fan Story and tom the administrator, Fan Art, Review, this artist ' my dear friend Christine {MKL Flood} and her pic "Brains All Gone"and to Jay who inspires and leads my way... |
By Ricky1024
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>"Broken Angel"<><><><><><><><><><>
By Ricky 1024
{A Dedication}
{To Lara Moretti for all that You do}
"He was born on a cold and November Day perhaps for a reason many years later by a dying, little, girl, that would *pray."
"I will never forget that day when the chain would soon be completed girl, girl, girl, boy, and finally with Dana Alyse {to say the Least} a girl...
...
"A house of women and just two men ...
"A house of discretion and a house of rule where Jay had very few...
"Chances..
...
"But those blue skies and white clouds would give to me...
"'A few years of multitude and respect from a soon to be young man...
"A child at this moment and a joker {what the Heck!}"
"You see in the early years Jay lived in his own land doing his own thing that only Her...
"Could understand!"
****
"Holy Crackle!"
"He would say with an occasional "F" word mixed in thanks to His mom but it was less then...
"A sin..."
"His older Sister Corrine would be in charge chasing Him and Dana as if the mother with her stick of choice...
"All on video amazed and I still wonder to this day!"
...
"I knew that Day in November He would be named after a movie In "63!"
"Jason and the Argonauts became a classic at my age of just eight and I could"not Wait!"
"And after his birth and a period of only Eighteen years {an soon to be a trillion tears} my Jay was on His Way finding His Fleece?"
"He was a percussionist with His own band called "Four Ways To Save" and even burned his CDs Called "Jason's Hot Shit" for a buck but soon He would run ...
"Out of luck..
'You see Jay would never leave his "Holy Crackle land" and Jay would only start His band....
...
"He needed to find that "Golden Fleece" and my Jay would never find his for soon those clouds of white and that sky of blue would end...
"As I now end this {sadly} wiith my *pen...
Author Notes |
*pray- To ask God.
"That prayer would be answered by god on April first as they removed {one of four organs} including that live-giving kidney for a healthy {other-wise dying} little girl." **pen-writing implement. "Jason died {after suffering cronic brain damage on April 1st, 2003 after the removal of his main organs." **** 'To learn more about the amazing Gift of life' orgsan-'Tissue donantions' simply call your chapter of "ther Gift of Life" at 1-800-DONORS-1. Thanks... "Special thanks goes out to Heavenly Father and His late Son Jesus the Christ, Fan Story and Tom the administrator, Fan Art Review and this amazing artist MKFlood"and her pic "Blues City Angel" {Hi Mellissa!} "And lastly {besides my Jay for inspiration} my dear friend who was there for me, my wife, and four daughters during the worst nightmare of our lives, Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with the "Gift of Life" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. CALL 1-800-donors_ TO LEARN MORE. |
By Ricky1024
<><><><><><><><><>"Broken Tis My Little Angel"<><><><><><><><><><>
By Ricky1024
'The Angel was happy a few kisses ago...
"I remember the Angels asking me to recall the thrill of it all but the Stars fell and my life suddenly went to Hell!'
...
'The clouds blackened and the bluen skies turned red as I lost it all that day instead!'
"Tears drained , my Heart ceased to beat...
'For You now are gone...
By Ricky1024
<><><><><><><><><><><>"I Will Always love You"<><><><><><><><><><>
By Ricky 1024
{A Dedication}
As the Sun sets in the evening's glow...
"As the Stars above stood still for You and waited for You to breathe...
"As the Earth relaxes it's tired soul...
"I will always love You so....
...
"As Time slowly caresses...
"As my 'Saddened Heart' continues but somehow can't start...
"As I search my Mind for a reason to live and go on...
"But I can still to this very day find not a Clue...
"I will always love You...
...
"And as all of my Depression's and my Pain's continue to fill my Brain and drive me Insane...
"As another year and holiday comes and goes but Your not here...
"And as I wonder when there can be another 'Rose in the Springs Dew'...
"I Will Always and Forever Love *You...
Author Notes |
Special thanks goes out first and always to Heavenly Father and His LATE SON Jesus the Christ, Fan Story and Tom the administrator, and my dear friend Lara Moretti.
*You-My Son Jason Richard Smrkovsky who passed away on April 1, 2003 from a massive brain injury due to a car accident. "To learn more about 'Organ-Tissue Donations call 1-800-DONORS-1 and tell my friend Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with "The Gift of Life," Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, that Jay said Hey! Dad. |
By Ricky1024
<><><>#####()()()()()<><><> #####"Footprints"#####<><><>#####()()()()()<><><>
By Ricky1024
September 5, 2015
Chapter One-
"As major and pschocitic depression made adjustments to my sorrowed Soul...
"As the Moon turned an eerie hue of red...
"And as the Stars up high in the blackened sky came crashing down as they cried....
"I awoke from months from my torrid bed!'"
"But, for no Good reason that I would want to remember...
"I was already dead."
..
"No more dead the birds that sing, no more the flowers of bloom...
"No more the Rain or Sun to shine...
"Just thoughts of death ever constant on my Mind!"
...
"As 'The Bony Fingers of Death' grasp for *me the Grim Reaper waits ever patiently but...
'I was already dead, mostly insane and Out-of-My-Head."
"I was trapped in and wrapped within me in a dank and dark Deppresional Pit."
"God, Was I being taught a lesson and why me?"
"Just give me back the **one-third of my family!"
****
<><><><><><>######"And He Wrapped His Arms Around Me"<><><><><><>######
By Ricky 1024
Chapter 2-
"That Car left that party and that Car was raced peviously by an adult at Atco Raceway in Atco New Jersey."
"That Car that left that party had the Speed Control tampered with and the Airbag disabled by Brian to0 add a Radio System...
...
"That FUC**** CAR that left my Step-daughter Nicoles party was on a course to the Grave...
"My God nothing or nobody can save...
"Me...
...
"And "As the Stars Stood Still" that very *night...
"As I try to breathe..
"As I tried to breathe...
"And as My dad tries to write My words with a Cross pen...
"God Wrappen His Arms Aroung Me and I went to Heaven...
****
######<><><><><><><><>#####"First By Man...<><><><><><><><>######
By Ricky 1024
Chapter-3
"On the night of March...
"In the year of 2003...
"When 'The Hands of Time"
"Struck an hour berfore nine...
"I hear a noise and it isn't no Christmas or Santa's reindeer...
"No stocking hung for my family with care...
"Just this maniac named Brian Cole was there!"
...
"Sounds like an accident dear but soon to be dead my wife Carolyn in less then eight FUC**** months...
"Was asleep with 'Tiny Sugar Blessings' to eat...
"And again as I write these words with the Cross pen a much louder***noise little was i to know...
"It would be my little boy...
...
"the Second noise woke up Carolyn as the car [after hitting the curb ab nd propelling itself at my estimated speed do to the shift was locked in third gear of over a hunderd miles can hour} fell to the road below...
"It's and accident shouldn't you know Rich?'
"That woke me up anfd that wasn't very nice."
...
"Within a few heartbeats, the phone rang and it was my youinger step-daughter Kyle Erin...
"It's Jason, ogh my God....
"He has been in an accident with that crazy kid Brian Cole only a block from your house!"
"No one wouild leave that the car!"
"'Not Kyle or her boyfriend Fred or their daughter Sashsa...
"Only my youngest {in tears}...
"Dana...
...
"It was just to much to take inAnd the car Jason was in was a smashed now...
"A Tin Can' if you can try...
"To understand...
"Call my mother! "He demanded trapped in a lying and prone postition with the driver's wheel nestled gently at his breast...
"Perhaps it should have been the pole at best!"
"And he would leave the hospital the next day!"
"And what about my only Son Jay?"
...
'Jay was lying next to Brian as an Angel in sleep....
"Almost already gone to Heaven..
"To speak?"
"A trickl;e of blood had appeared...
"My God where the FUC* are the Reindeer?"
"And not from His nose by from His left ear...
"The nurse at the scene{it was at her house} noted that...
{more on that later}.
...
"About an hour and a half later.....
"And a quick run up the Garden State parkway as the helicopter was flying over on the way...
"Jason would have the first of His many Heart attacks!"
"But nothing and not even that was going to tak away...
'"My only Son named Jay...
<><><><><><>####<><><><>####"Then By God""<><><><>####<><><><><>
By Ricky 1024
Chapter 4-
"At about (:30 PM. the the Hosptal's nurse came up to us as we were walking to intensive care...
"Are you the parents of the child ju7st air-lifted here?" She asked.
"Yes."
"Do you have insurance?"
"No my enployer canceled our family coverage and left me with single coverage only a few month earlier." I Replied with a tear of many..
"In my eye...
"Follow me"
...
"She took us into a dark room with dozens of pictures of Jason's brain."
"She said that it was the worst brain-damaged case that she had ever seen."
"It deestroyed me if you know what I mean"
"The nurse from the scene shortly called me and said these words that still haunhts me to this very day...
"God wanted Jay so bad that He wrapped His gentle arms aroiund Him.."
"A single drop od blood mixed now with spinal fluid..
"I did what i could and did not understand...
"Why Of Lord my little man?"...
"And after seveenteen hours and after tapping Jason's skull...
"And after thousands of dollors in anti-swelling meds...
"Jason Richard Smrkovsky was no longer here instead...
""
"On Aprils Fools Day" You must understand...
"Jason was on a special coursae to save..
"Just like Christ new his fate my Jay dead too and the band that He hasd created proves this...
"Title Four Ways to Save!"
...
"And as agrred the "Gift of Life and Lara S. moreeti the L.S.W. would hold Jays hand and after organ and organ...
A well rehearse course from God...
"Can you even begin to understand?"
"No more tears...
'No more hopes or dreams...
"And can be a mend...
"No more **** "Buddy Friend."
Author Notes |
*me- Oneself.
My pain was only eased by three suicide attempts on December 1, 2006. Request from my portfolio "Triple Suicide Dance" 2012. **one-third of my family! "I would lose Jason that day in March and not May but soon my only Wife Carolyn ... "In a differeft way. ***Noise- A sound. "The second noise was louder as I estimated at the speed it was about twelve feet up in the air." ****"Buddy Friend" "What I always called Him. <><><><>###<><><><><><>"BuddyFriend"<><><><><>###<><><><> {My first attempt at poetry.} Written only three weeks later on Jay's Dell. By Jay... "I'm not here right now but I'm not very far... "I'm in a place not far as a Star... 'You'll feel this place... "Take a momment and you'll see... "Then you will know... 'Just where I'll be... **** "Special thanks goes out first as always to Heavenly Father and His lost So Jesus the Christ, Then Fan story andf Ton the administrator, Fan Art Review along with this artist' slhbowen' and the pic "Where to Now?" and finally to all who has and will always grief for the lost of a child." |
By Ricky1024
<><><><><><><><><><><><>"Gifting MY Life"<><><><><><><><><><><><>
By Ricky 1024 and my late Son Jason {Allxshen 18}
Written on August 8, 2015 at 12:15 Am. EST.
"Some say that He will come back someday...
"Some how...
"Someway...
{Theology 24.10}
"I was born in the coldest month of that year...
"So cold it would freeze a tear...
"Although there were first three...
"Nikki, Kyle, and Corey...
"Girl, Girl, Girl...
"I was meant to be...
...
"You see it was destined girl, girl, girl, boy, and finally...
"My youngest sister Dana..
{more on that later}.
...
"So, here I am finally out of that dark place...
"Kind-a quiet in there like a final resting place!"
"Not much on air in there and no place to sit like a chair but I was born out of love and...
"Eventually care......
...
"WHACK!!!"
"Ouch!!!"
"Why the whack?"
"What the F***!"
"Did I do wrong?"
"Oops, sorry cursed...
"I guess they torture you shortly after your birth?"
{To test your worth?}
"But, any who now what to do?"
"Oh, a number one and a number two!"
...
"Damn, what were they feeding Me in there?"
"Rotten eggs?"
"Whack!"
"Don't hit me again MOTHER F*****!'
"I want my mother!"
"I didn't mean to do the pooh and piss in your face!"
Oops!"
{12 hours later}
****
"Wow, moms milk sure should be sweet maybe it was all the pickles dad bought her?"
"Could use a little Drambue to wash it down and cut the taste...
"Oh, gotta wait a couple decades!"
"Well, its time to crash the nurse says so I'ill take it down again for the 10th time {In rhyme every time.}
"I hope the got the 'Playboy Channel" in this hospital...
"What's that crap "The Jersey Shore?"
"What newborn could ask for anything more!"
{The next day}
****
"Well, the doctor and nurse say that they are releasing Me today but...
"I guess I'ill hitch-hike home...
"Oh, OK...
"The ride home by pop was fast and furious..
"How was I to know that that's the way that I would eventually...
...
"The next seventeen years proved rewarding with the cigars, babes, a little booze and pot to wash away the difficulties...
{getting tired}
"Why"
"Because I had to go to this place and waste away sitting all day for twelve, long, years...
"But, next year I graduate and I'll finally be free..
"Finally, the next and last year will be hard on Me...
"Started My own band "Four Ways to Save" and finding me an *Angel...
...
"The end of the year 2012 I turned eighteen...
"I guess that means that I am finally a Man...
"Dad says that I grew up always with an eye on controversy...
"As if I knew that I would soon not be **here."
"My final message and epitaph will be clear."
"My fate and Destiny...
"I hear...
The End.
Jason Richard Smrkovsky.
Birth Year November 5,1984
Died after organs removed April1, 2003.
##########################################################################
"To learn more about Organ-Tissue donations simply contact "The Gift of Life" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and tell my friend Lara S. Moreti the L.S.W. With "The Gift of Life" that you read Jay's piece here!"
Dad.
"
Author Notes |
"Special thanks goes out first to Heavenly Father and his late Son Jesus the Christ, Fan Story and Tom the administrator, and finally my Son Jason my little man who is my drive through this Earth's quick of sand...
*Angel- The spiritual being from above. "Jason's girl friend name was Angel and Jason was her second boyfriend lost from car accidents. **here-A place of being. Jason official death is March 30, 2003. "My two daughters and there friend bare the tattoo on their ankles." "My tattoo on my upper left arm has the Naval bars for my dad followed with my wife Carolyn with her birth and death on a ribbon... "And finally at the bottom {all in turquoise, yellow, and red} Jay's moped He rescued from The Country Club Lake which started on the first kick and a ribbon with His name posted {along with His birth} on the one side and the other side I decided to keep blank because of the pain.. "Today over 11 years later it remains blank... |
By Ricky1024
"The Stars Stood Still As He Started to Breathe"
By Ricky 1024
{Written August 5, 2015}
"As I live and as I breathe...
"I feel not right...
"My God what happened to me that dread full of night?"
"Every thing was alright...
...
"The party started out ok at Nikki's for her twenty-sixth birthday...
"Perhaps I should have listened...
"And *heard...
...
"After about forth-five minutes...
"I {Jay} and Brian decided to leave...
"My friend {So I thought} Brian Cole had bought a "One-Way Ticket" to death.
"'I tried...
"I tried...
"My best but that I car...
...
"Mentally-ill and not a "Merry-King of Cole" he stole...
"Away...
"My only Jay...
...
"There was never any grown-up you see as the father was an alcoholic and the mother
{A school Administrator} was always...
"To busy...
"So, Brian out of his mind on a drug called 'Efexxor'.
...
"At the tender of age of only seventeen...
"No time for he..
"No time now for Jay and my family...
...
"A call from my Daughters Kyle and Dana ...
"At the scene...
"It appeared that Jay was out and asleep but well on His way...
"To a place of love...
"So very, very, far...
"Above...
...
"At eight PM.
"AWWE Pay for View event...
'Money lost...
"Money no well spent...
..
"Lets leave this place Jay and be on our way...
''And take your little sister Dana too...
"No way Brian...
"That just won't do...
"DAMN it Dana you ride with me!!!"
"That won't do...
...
"So, out of his mind...
"Out of control...
"A Satanic force...
"An evil little troll...
"So would take...
"Its toll...
"But fate can be altered and Not-A-Soul would care as 'Miss Destiny would soon be there...
"And show here evil head and instead of a stray ride home...
"I would soon wind up dead...
...
"And God As I used To Live...
"And Breathe...
"The Stars Stood Still...
"And why oh why...
"Does my dad still cry?"
'Jason Richard Smrkovsky'
November 5th, 1984! March 30th, 2003.
{Organs Removed and major tissue Midnight on April Fools Day.
Author Notes | "Special thanks goes out first to Heavenly Father and His late Son Jesus Christ, Fan Story and tom the administrator, Fan Art Review and this amazing artist "angelheart' and her picture "Written in the Stars." |
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© Copyright 2015 Ricky1024 All rights reserved. Ricky1024 has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. |
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