By Jaq Cee
words can be
beautiful
they can also be
harsh
with some meant to
flatter
and captivate your
heart
others deceive and
drag you
under
into the abyss
of a foetid pit
I crumbled
you watched as I
withered, eventually
died
slowly I slithered
into nothingness,
no pride
as my world
erupted and
my reason
eroded
the armageddon
of my soul
had already
started
some may cry
but other's will
find
that tears are
no foil for
a cheating lover's
lies
maybe in Karma
we'll get some
recourse
i'm not usually
vengeful, but
in this case--
who knows?
| Author Notes |
Free-style poem, some rhyming, about the power that words can have over some people, when used to effect. Scant punctuation and capitalisation, as always, intended.
Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
Dark, dank, dusty room,
Swept cleanly with a new broom,
No more doom and gloom.
| Author Notes | My first attempt at this type of thing. Not sure I have it entirely right. :) Nothing ventured, nothing gained. |
By Jaq Cee
From deep within the feeling grows,
why it started I do not know.
The feeling of angst, foreboding abounds.
Listen to the roar, that in me sounds.
Turmoil, hurt, fear and pain,
Rip me apart, leave me emotionally lame.
This tortured soul of mine is heavy,
I need to calm it, make it steady.
The mind is no help, extremes of clutter,
I need to clear it, thoughts to unfetter.
The darkness inside, too dense to see,
no clear path, no focus for me.
The inner turmoil, no halcyon to aid,
these feelings and thoughts, my being pervade.
Diffuse them I must, before all light goes,
and darkness takes over, adds to my woes.
I can and I will, free this tortured soul,
Battle armour on, to win this fight, my goal.
By Jaq Cee
It creeps up on you, winds around your being,
like a fog around a mountain, stops you from seeing.
My mind is racing, chasing lost thoughts,
can't keep perspective, feeling fraught.
And so it takes hold, dragging you under,
You envisage dark clouds, hear only thunder.
Up, down, Up, down, in a lift going nowhere,
no buttons to stop it, trapped, caught in a self snare.
Stumbling around in a darkness, when the light, out it goes.
Must find a switch, get the light on, so direction it shows.
Walking into a force 10 gale, one step forward, three back,
Seeing in shades of grey, not in white, nor in black.
Can't look at myself, don't like what I see,
People stare and talk, thanking God they're not me.
My mind playing tricks, these thoughts are all mine,
No one else really thinking, these things at this time.
Once again, I wait, for the storm to abate,
For the darkness to lessen, the thoughts to be straight.
Time is a healer, people always say,
it is also infinite, goes on for forever and a day.
So while this bout runs it's course, taking it's toll,
I live for the day, when mind and body are whole.
| Author Notes | So many people suffer from this illness. It's good to know you are not alone with these feelings. |
By Jaq Cee
Childhood hopes, laughter and dreams,
sunny days, life ahead couldn't be any clearer.
Soon it becomes, fear, guilt and dismay,
life's gone, taken by the Life Stealer.
Eight years old life should be fun,
nothing to worry you, somewhere to go.
Instead it's all too soon at an end,
dread, angst, incredible pain deep below.
Cry!! Shout out!! it's of no use,
there's no one there to help.
Mentally, physically, pinned by fear,
"go on, scream, cry, whelp"!!
'Who'll believe you? It's your fault",
"you're bad, you know that don't you?".
"Lie down there, you're all mine now",
"to do with, as I want to".
God will hear my silent cries,
you will God, please, won't you?
Come down here like an avenging angel,
pierce his heart straight through.
No one's there, once again, even God's astray,
no last minute reprieve, not for me, again no cavalry.
Another day of guilt and fear, that's all that I can see,
no hope's, nor dreams, no normal life for me.
Love is lust, there is no love, sex it is for me,
no loving couplings to be had, it's all just carnal affair's.
Maybe one day when I'm am absolved from being very bad,
I'll have that love and find sex isn't all that's to be had.
My youth is gone, my childhood shanghaied,
my hope disappeared, as the end draws ever nearer.
It could have been so very different for me,
had it not been for that damned Life Stealer.
..
| Author Notes | Sometimes abusers need to hear just what they have stolen from the child. |
By Jaq Cee
Hearts so soft and hearts so fair,
If needed you were always there.
Friendship blossomed, relationship gelled,
Love came soon after, for a short spell.
The two of you are a beautiful pair,
Your time not allowed, not very fair.
Within your quotes, posts and easy chatter,
All could see that you both really mattered.
When she called you "Boo" and back you wrote,
with "love you too", I got a lump in my throat.
Life should have been easier, if cancer did stall,
The world would have been yours to have such a ball.
Alas, as we know it, life isn't always that fair,
But for a short while, beautiful love did you share.
| Author Notes | It was written for two special people that cancer has torn apart. |
By Jaq Cee
Behind the door It will always creep,
Watching, waiting, until you're asleep.
What is it that easily scares us so?
Behind that door, where black shadows go.
No light only dark in the dead of night.
Lurking It waits, just to give you a fright.
Hear the noises listen to the chatter,
Getting louder, incessant jibber jabber.
Frightened now, head under the pillow,
Heart beating faster, no chance to slow.
Get up from bed look behind the door,
Walk tall don't creep, across that floor.
Right! That's it! My courage has grown,
I'm going to look my fears have flown.
Closer and closer and the door is near,
Time to check, time to quell that fear.
Nearly there, just another step to come,
Breathe held, heart beating like a drum.
Noise back again, shadows deeper than before,
Maybe tomorrow I'll check behind that door.
By Jaq Cee
Majestic eagle
soaring way up in the sky
wind ruffles feathers
you glide so easily fore
august, imperial bird
| Author Notes | Many thanks to Lynnkah for the beautiful picture. x |
By Jaq Cee
I open my eyes and what do I see?
A perfect world, staring at me.
"What's that?" you say, "Where can this be?",
"This perfect world, that you see".
I'm flummoxed at first, "open your eyes",
I shout to the world with open surprise.
"It's there for the seeing", "it's huge in size",
"surely it's not just me that can visualize".
This world is not candyfloss, fair rides and fun,
It's trees and flowers, fed by the sun.
It's family and friends, who are there standing by,
to help when you stumble, to cheer when you fly.
They hold you in close when your world falls apart,
It's the feeling you get when there's love in your heart.
The smile of your child as their hurt you have salved,
That sparkle in the eye of the one you have loved.
Yet, still I hear you, calling out loud,
"is it all good days, never a cloud?"
"We want to see it", "can we stop by?"
"You have it already" I say with a sigh,
"Look deep inside, it's in your mind's eye".
| Author Notes | My work colleague described this as something written by Susan Boyle on speed. I did laugh, and he's not far wrong. this is an early one I did. |
By Jaq Cee
Predators come in all shapes and sizes,
looks, styles and clever guises.
Set out to entrap, control your mind,
make you deaf, dumb and blind.
You don't hear your friends or family's pleas,
The predator has you controlled, with ease.
Maybe it's friendship, love or just an ear,
that you crave when you find that person is near.
They have you drawn in, in innocuous ways,
a word, a picture or even a cute phrase.
Whatever it is, it will mean something to you,
you let them in your life, they then slither right through.
Your mind is messed up, right becomes wrong,
you accept dire treatment, you're no longer strong.
You doubt your own instincts, deferring to theirs,
normal indicators like a feeling in your gut, now scares.
The damage is done, you have no self left, and so,
you just follow on blindly, until they let go.
Here we are again, the cycle is broken,
the hold has been lost, someone has spoken.
Take heart in the fact, that people stay near,
they know you will need them, they still hold you dear.
The predator has gone, moved on, or been found out,
for all of you out there, don't keep quiet, please SHOUT!!
| Author Notes | I like many others fell foul of this type of person. Thanks to Google Images for the perfect pic. x |
By Jaq Cee
Indie Skreet our
Jewish nun
brought to our lives
so much fun
her humour writes
are full of wit
although some think
she's full of shit
they're the ones who
miss the point
as she's the smiles
around this joint
unique is she, in
every way
her honest words
will liars
flay
her treatment here
had been
absurd
made to feel
like someone's
turd
this site will,
it's humour
lose
while some still
go on
to abuse
they'll use this site
as stalking
central
soon you'll
find it
detrimental
to your hope
of money
makin'
as it's the wrong
side you've
taken
Indie-pop, my partner
in crime
there's no way you'll
toe the line
if it means
integrity's
at stake
I know just what
stand you'll
take
always one to
back a
friend
because your
loyalty has no
end
Love ya Indie, wish you weren't going girlie. :( xxx
| Author Notes |
Scant punctuation and capitalisation intended.
Picture from Indie's profile. :) xx |
By Jaq Cee
it isn't electricity
that gives this guy
a buzz
nor is it the
North Sea gas
which lights his
fabled path
and water doesn't float
his boat
unless it's in his
whiskey
so who is it I
speak of
it's our 'meter man'
'The Earl', Ray
i've prayed to St. Brigid
she of Irish descent
also St. Celia
ignored my anguished
rant
St. Columba and St. David
it's obvious are
deaf
these Patron Saints
of poets have all
deserted me
all I wanted
was some rhythm
to make my writing
sweet
the 'meter man' read
my meter and
quickly admitted
defeat
Now all I have is
St. Jude
the Patron of
Lost Causes
as Ray has decided
to leave us all
to our own
devices
| Author Notes |
In the UK a Meter man will come and read your meter before you get your bill for gas, electric and water. Just a wee play on words to send Ray off with a smile.
St. Brigid of Ireland St. Cecilia St. Columba St. David - the 4 Patron Saint's of Poetry. Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
a place to write
our feelings down
with an even
platform for
all
that's what we
joined this site
for
but now it's
taken a
fall
one rule for some
and then
another
for 'wiseguys' who
are sly
the honest people
are forced out
with a less than
gracious
'bye'
i've asked the
question of the
'leader'
why is a cheat
allowed
to prosper here
and write some more
whilst honesty is
cowed
this debacle is
quite clearly
a case of
who you
know
but I will say
this isn't the
end as others
are set to
go
how can you hold
your head up
high whilst you
nurture those
who lied
this will go
down in history
as the day
integrity
died
| Author Notes |
Hodie Integritate Mortuus Est = integrity, died today!!
|
By Jaq Cee
I'd always known
this day would
dawn
but never knew
the way
you'd choose to
end this
misery
some people
call a
life
it's time too close
the creaking
doors of hurt
and abject
sorrow
and to rise above
the world I
loathe
to watch my
demons be
exposed
goodbye, good luck
God bless
my friends
I fear that
you will
weep
but not for what
I used to
be
for what I might
have
been
| Author Notes | Picture from Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
His humour can be risque
when he's a little frisky,
but he never crosses the line
as his manners are divine.
Ray's tried to teach me meter
when I've drunk wine by the litre,
he's a walking metronome
whose rhythm will seldom roam.
I'm hopeless with iambic things
and pentameter a headache brings,
he said I have a rhythm all my own
but that can't be good, I heard him groan.
I dance to a tune that's just in my head
so each time I write he's filled with dread,
however he has helped more than he'll know
as I now understand some rhythm and flow.
So fare thee well my titled mate
and don't forget to close the gate,
that was a joke as you will know
because it breaks my heart to see you go.
Take good care and please stay well
but in the shadows don't you dwell,
for we will miss your bon accord
come back soon our Earl of Oxford.
| Author Notes |
Ray I know you'll have a field day with this one hahahahaha
This is just a fond farewell to a dear man. |
By Jaq Cee
where is the
locked box
in which you kept
your prizes
you had so many
disciples
believing in your
guises
women flocked to hear
your words
to be a part of
you
but all they had was one
more hurt
as their hearts were broken
in two
these prizes were a string
of hearts
which you'd plucked
straight from their
chests
you spoke in tongues
meant to
confuse
and you made them
all feel
blessed
how many women
compromised
their values just
to find
they weren't as special
as you'd said
and were just another
soul to
grind
they'd all fallen for the
flattery
and words spewed
insincere
it was easier to draw
them in
as their sad stories
became
clear
you played the game
so very
well
and the 'right' words
flowed with
ease
all you needed was
any woman
to quell your desires
as you did
please
a box, a jar or something
bigger
how did you keep the
count
as hearts were broken
recklessly
the tally sure did
mount
someday life will return
to you
the hurt you took
too far
so all that's left for
me to ask is--
"who do you think
you are?"
| Author Notes |
This was written about being taken in by 'internet lovers'. I have another poem called 'On-line Predator' which was written a year ago about the same issue. I'm trying hard to walk the right road without making the same mistakes again.
Picture from Google images. No capitals and scant punctuation intentional. |
By Jaq Cee
You told me all the sweet things
a woman needs to hear,
then at night I would dream deep
whilst your words I held so dear.
Charismatic man-child
you destroyed my virtual wall,
then took my heart unheeded
as my guard began to fall.
All too soon the cracks appeared
and I began to see,
that maybe there was someone
who shared your time with me.
I did so often wonder
though was afraid to ask,
how many girls had fallen
for the words behind your mask.
I didn't have to ponder
this question for too long,
I soon felt one of many
as I strode into the throng.
l believed all you had said
as you were meant to be,
my one saviour, my white knight
who'd fall in love with me.
Could I stay among the pack
and allow myself no choice,
or would I shout out louder
and hope you'd hear my voice.
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
I cut my wrists--
you don't know
why
ATTENTION
I hear you
cry
it isn't quite as
simple tho'
it's not a game I
play
I'll now explain what drives
me on
then judgments I may
sway
I feel the need to purge
my soul
to bleed's how I
express
it eradicates the evil which
infects me to
excess
it cleanses me and soothes
my mind
as I watch my blood
flow free
I slowly feel the
darkness lift
to expose a better
me
I live my life in
quiet torment
to rid this demon
my only
intent
one day I pray this
pain will
ease
some peace I hope to
gain
if not, dear Lord then take
me please--
as my efforts were in
vain
| Author Notes |
This is a rhymed free-style poem, with minimal punctuation and capitalisation by intent, about my niece. Self-harm is so hard to understand, as some of my friends will know.
Picture from Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
I have a lovely keepsake
which once belonged to Gran.
I play it every now and then,
to feel her if I can.
My Gran was such a beauty,
and I don't mean fair of face.
Her strengths were in the unseen
realm, a heart so full of grace!
She always went to Chapel,
almost every day,
but she never forced us children.
She let us find our way.
Her smile could light a room
and her words could calm a storm.
To visit at the weekend
was our unquestioned norm.
I love and miss her dearly -
she was my rock for sure,
as my teenage years were blighted
by trouble's sweet allure.
She never sought to judge me
when I was in disgrace.
She took me in and brushed me off,
that smile upon her face.
My keepsake moves unaided
with very eerie sounds,
but only serves to ease my mind -
I know she is around!
| Author Notes | The picture is of a musical ornament that used to belong to my Gran. I miss her every day, she was a special lady. |
By Jaq Cee
Most of my life is
waiting
which sometimes is
in vain
I look at my computer
screen
as I wait to see
it flicker
a message an image
or a post
the list it just
gets bigger
I think I see where this
is going
and I know that you'll
deduce
I'll have to turn off
my PC
and find myself
a life real
SOON
| Author Notes |
Just a bit of fun, how many of us find ourselves like this some days...lol? No attempt at punctuation for ease of flow.
Picture from Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
I want to lie against your skin
enshrouded by your essence,
the impact of your loving embrace
endorsed just by your presence.
When we speak your words caress
like a lover's lullaby,
you seduce me with things to come
your charms I can't deny.
A tender voice filled with desire
your words so full of lust,
for once we join so totally
our needs we won't mistrust.
Together we'll ride the stormy sea
of passions crashing wave,
we'll glide across excitement's crest
to find that love we crave.
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
Thelma and Louise
are today on their travels,
watch out wide world
as their plot unravels.
Laughter and fun
it is all the way,
getting up to mischief
is the order of the day.
Where will they end up?
God only knows.
Sat Nav is switched on
the journey just flows...?
Unorthodox game plan
I'm guessing's in place,
wish I was with them
on this wacky race.
Watch out in Cornwall
or could it be Devon?
They haven't a bloody clue
to which county their headin'.
I can see some tomfoolery
and high jinx transpire,
they'll baffle the locals
with their wit and satire.
Let's hope the local cops
don't offer them a bed.
What happen's on road trips?
No more to be said.
So batten down the hatches
each town on the way,
because Indie and Mrs. Dark
are coming out to play.
| Author Notes |
Devon is said like 'Devin'
Picture from Indie and Mrs Dark's personal portfolios. |
By Jaq Cee
I will choose happiness
in my life to impress,
for when I'm corrupted by ire
I light my own funeral pyre.
Anger is a wasted emotion
which consumes my devotion,
to having love enter my soul
no more allowed to take it's toll.
Laughter is the antidote
to problems which my life's been smote,
I've spent too long in misery
now I'll have my liberty.
I'll move on with perfect ease
a smile upon my lips will tease,
so you will know that I've recovered
from all the hurt that was uncovered.
| Author Notes |
Love that song...
Picture Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
I did see through
that smooth veneer
I always knew
this day was near
my perception
was always right
I chose to ignore
this foresight
seduced by words
with intellect
beguiled by verse
so circumspect
I know my failings--
but do you
you took my heart
and pierced it through
a promise of great
things to come
empty dead words
every one.
my life's been hard
but I don't whine
horrors in childhood
didn't define
chose to live
and I survived
but could have ceded--
suicide
now I am strong
and understand
my life worth more
which I demand
| Author Notes |
Very minimal punctuation intended for flow and effect.
Picture Google images as always. |
By Jaq Cee
That silent, sultry, sensuous man,
was where my troubles first began.
We met by chance one cool dark night,
those rugged looks fuelled my delight.
Those smoky eyes were filled with lust,
to make him mine was such a must.
His body language, tell-tale signs,
his need for me cast fishing lines.
That sensuous smile and wanton look,
at once I dangled on his hook.
A night of passion soon ensued,
all of my fears he disabused.
Things are not always as it seems,
This lover's mine but just in dreams.
| Author Notes |
Picture from Google images.
|
By Jaq Cee
your words as always
flowed so freely
I'd read them many
times before
your heart was filled
with love and
passion
I saw your hopes
and dreams
exposed
it could only be for us
couldn't it
my heart soared on
the wings of
doves
a thousand
maybe more
but then the dawning of
understanding
spread slowly
over me
I read a little deeper
their meaning became
clear
and sinking like a weighty
stone
thrown into a
millpond
my heart hit an all time low
drowned in
hurt and sorrow
your words are like
a lover's
caress
they play the heart
string well
oh how I wish that it
was me
who inspired those words
so true
now I'm sinking into
nothingness
GONE...
without a trace
| Author Notes |
No need for any corrections it's just a cathartic write. Inspired by a favourite song and other stuff.
Picture from Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
Indie-street we hear the beat
of warning drums
Indie-halls we feel vibrations
from uniform footfalls
Indie-town we gather round
en-masse
to carry high the banners of
free speech
Sometimes we have to
choose a side
because the fence indeed
will our ass
prick with splinters
it is to show our
solidarity
when bigotry raises up it's
ugly head
let's get behind our Indie-lightful
friend
show her we agree with all
she's done
because Indie-end it's
all that we have
left
| Author Notes |
This is just for fun and to make Indie smile :).
No corrections necessary thanks. Picture from Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
shall I be forgiven
for the words I had
to say
can you see the message
that those words
portray
will you stand in judgment
on that fateful
day
if you think you're
able to then I stand
betrayed
the only One to judge
me will be
Yahweh
the One we call Lord
will show each one
the way
when that day comes
will I sing
gaudete
or will I hope for more
time just one small
delay
I shall be forgiven but only
by the God to Whom I pray
not by someone whose
preachings have turned
to dust along the way
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
walk a mile in someone else's shoes
step into the world that they live
see if you can handle life
how they decide to be
before becoming
judge and jury
just look--
see
By Jaq Cee
who are we to sit in
judgement?
who can say our life's been
misspent?
no one on this mortal
coil
can use their morals as
a foil
telling folk how to live
their lives
only men can join with
wives?
you feel the need to preach
and prattle
always looking for a
battle
in the name of God on
high
you think it's right what
you imply
if God had wanted your
admonishments
your vented anger or your
punishments
surely then you would have
borne
stigmata and the crown of
thorns
| Author Notes |
For all who feel the need to judge others. Live and let live I say. Not one of us is in a position to pontificate over others.
Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
when all around is
dark as night
as you awake
feeling fright
when all you feel
is indecision
no life plan and no
clear vision
take a look and
you will see
that I am near
to help you be
all that you can
be and more
I'm standing at
that open door
arms outstretched
full of love
with all the blessings
from above
I know that fear does
cloud the scene
but just look deeper
then you'll glean
the knowledge needed
to change your plight
and make life blossom
in eternal light
| Author Notes |
No punctuation intentional for quick flow.
Picture of my daughter and her husband's hand on their wedding day. |
By Jaq Cee
A bon-vivant, a raconteur
with words beyond compare.
His storytelling genius
just has that special flare.
Quiet, deep intelligence
flows straight from tip of pen-
he's even known for humour writes
every now and again.
'Wordsmith' is the perfect name,
and I don't use it lightly;
he's earned it with each clever piece
that he produces nightly.
He flits from the historical
to poems that melt the heart;
he is a lover and a 'flurt'--
he's shown that from the start.
"Who is this Wunderkind?"
I hear you ask of me.
It's my Irish friend, Meehal,
who writes so eloquently.
Reach out for those stars, chara,
the sky for you's no limit;
your work will shine for evermore--
don't let the doubters dim it.
| Author Notes |
'flurt' is the way I pronounce flirt in my Scottish accent. 'chara' is friend in Irish Gaelic, 'Meehal' is Michael in Irish also.
Just a fun write for an exceptional writer and friend. |
By Jaq Cee
feeling lost
no inclination
to find another
destination
moving forward
in transition
chosen roads-
juxtaposition
to reach my goal is
the intention
need Divine
intervention
where to find
the inspiration
has to be my
own creation
| Author Notes |
juxtaposition - my roads run parallel, no inspiration to find new way to go forward.
Lack of punctuation intentional for flow. Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
Careering through love's
myriad plains
I find myself beset
with pains.
Heart and soul, scythed
then sutured,
yet again, emotions
butchered.
I only have myself
to blame
I never learn, each time's
the same.
Myself I proffer to you,
yearning
open heart beats, hope is
burning
that this time love's here
to stay
for more than just one blessed
day.
Today is not the day
it seems
no realisation of my
dreams.
I dreamt on while you
kept it real
my love of love--
Achilles heel.
| Author Notes |
It's just a poem, I'm fine :)
Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
For all who have lost their lives, may God now take care of them.
Also for those injured.xx
By Jaq Cee
She doesn't have an ugly face
but with a look, I'm in my place.
A warty nose does not adorn
her features in the early morn.
She doesnt have a pointy hat
nor broom to transport wicked cat.
Her hair's short not long and tangled
but her chin looks badly mangled.
How was I to guess from this
that she would snarl and she would hiss,
whilst sitting on the Queen Bee's chair
looking at me with haughty glare.
The new 'Boss Lady' drags me down,
causing me to stamp and frown.
No skills possessed in supervising
I really feel my anger rising
For her I have lost all respect
a chill from me, she may detect.
I've worked happily for many a year
but 'she' makes me want to disappear.
And though it's a scary thing to do
I have to tell her, 'Dear, screw you'
and move away from this harridan
find something that is less maddenin'
| Author Notes | Picture from Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I thought that I could do it,
but it seems that I have failed.
My feelings are much deeper, dear -
yours, transient and veiled.
The surface stuff looks peachy,
but scratch and you'll find out:
it's all a bit unequal,
you've sown the seeds of doubt.
No fault in this delusion
that I have labored under,
but now I feel my tender heart
is being ripped asunder.
I should have listened to my brain.
It doesn't often lie.
But I always trust my heart,
though logic be defied.
You're a lover, just like me,
romantic, hopeless too,
but parallel reality
has masked what's right and true.
It was not even me per se,
you had to clear your clouds,
some lover just to salve the pain
which loneliness enshrouds.
"I never meant to hurt you babe",
I've heard these words before.
and always when it's far too late,
you're walking out the door.
Today's the day I save myself
from heartache and more sorrow,
to give myself what I deserve,
an honest, true tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
| Author Notes |
My favourite song, which says so much about relationship I've encountered. :)
Picture from Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
body heat intensifies as we
fall into the abyss
no turning back we've
crossed the line
our fate sealed with
immoral kiss
hand in hand we dive
together
into a pit of carnal
pleasure
all around us people
muttered
under breath admonishments
uttered
illicit trysts we did share
spent sated we had
no care
you took my heart
devoured my soul
my guilty pleasure
has taken it's
toll
washed up now, hung out
to dry
brokenhearted left
to cry
if I had this time
to live anew
I'd do the same
and lie with
you
| Author Notes | Free style poem with rhyming. No punctuation intentional. Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
solitary sitting cloaked
in darkness
confined in mind's
virtual cell
lonely days spent
looking outwards
life goes on as
I wither and wilt
terror-filled open spaces
unseen torment
scars my life
lonely life a sad
existence
trapped inside by
mind's barbed-wire
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
As I flit between my 'used to be'
and glide into where 'I see me'
those two places differ greatly,
like a tent and home so stately.
In 'used to be' I felt so small
I never seemed to climb that wall.
As I step into where 'I see me'
I know that's where I want to be.
My 'used to be' was where I crawled
uninspired, unenthralled,
but'I see me' is far superior
no more downtrodden, nor inferior.
'Used to be' had hurt and spite
only darkness no sign of light.
'I see me' is a wonderful book
with many pages, I've yet to look.
I flit and glide from one to other
'used to be'- my dreams did smother.
My days will end in where 'I see me'
happy, contented, unyielding, free.
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
Maggie ruined the working classes
and took the milk from children's glasses.
Iron Lady now remembered
for the miners she dismembered.
The sick and poor she did quell
so Rust In Pieces, burn in hell.
By Jaq Cee
from cradle to grave
our life's mapped out
the path isn't always clear
I need to take some
solitary time
alone
with my thoughts
and my fears
I know what I need
and who I want
to accompany me
on my
journey
yet still it feels
outwith my reach
so far from my touch
it scares me
this time of my life
I thought would be
settled or that at least
I'd know
where I'm going
but sadly this isn't
so
in God's great plan
I must appear
like a small fish
in a great sea
All I want is to
shed some light
from worries please
set me free
| Author Notes |
Free verse - with scant punctuation.
Picture from Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
When God said to Adam, "here's your wife"
He didn't count on too much strife
but Eve was fooled by a snake
forbidden fruit she'd take
only one measly bite
it took to end
their delight
now their
plight
Is
in the
dimming light
of wild and lakes
fending off all snakes
no more help was offered
a harsh new life was proffered
a world of sin they'd now grapple
'thus poor Eve 'bitin' - tempting apple
| Author Notes |
'bitin' is a play on words of 'bit in' and ' bitten'
|
By Jaq Cee
Oh where, oh where
has my Indie gone,
One minute poems,
the next none!!
Her profile's gone.
Has she been banned?
This ray of sunshine
has been canned.
She's such an open
talented writer,
that many people want
to smite her.
Live and let live
I adhere to,
some people need lives,
or something to do.
Another great talent
busted down,
for her honesty..
driven out of town.
You have to bring back
Indie Skreet,
or you may find people
vote with their feet.
| Author Notes |
Yet another friend banned for open and honest talent.
I don't know that this is a great place to be any more when freedom of speech is not allowed. Especially when the poem was totally fictitious. |
By Jaq Cee
You fill me with the hope love brings,
and bless me with your love,
inspiring me to greater things,
my gift from God above.
I never have to worry now,
or wonder how you'll cope.
You're such a girl for knowing how!
You fill my heart with hope.
You joined this world with kicks and screams,
a world that I'd forsaken,
but you brought purpose, future, dreams -
I glimpsed you, and was taken!
So small and round, with hair of black,
and sallow skin, so smooth -
those organ-bellow lungs don't lack
sheer force - nothing to prove!
Your hair changed colour to ash blonde,
your eyes a dark brown hue,
the perfect aspect which you donned,
and heart so gentle, true.
It's hard to grasp. I'm left amazed!
I made you - you're perfection!
You light up even my darkest days,
yet you're of my conception.
I look into those eyes, and see
a soul so precious, bright!
Such wonders, which you'll do, and be -
you own them as your right!
| Author Notes |
This is a personal picture from last year when she was on holiday.
Meehal(Rondeno) thanks for casting an eye over it. xx |
By Jaq Cee
Locked in a life of misery
lost in a world of dreams,
alone in a room full of people,
nothing is ever as it seems.
Slowly I try moving forward
to enhance my bereft lifestyle,
and to make much better choices
that give me a reason to smile.
Why is it life is so hard,
for one but not another?
What's the answer? I need to know
can I change mine for some other?
The answer I'm told lies within
this I hope to be true,
but how to reach inside of me
of this I have no clue.
This inner self, strong and bright
which pulls some from the abyss,
appears to be lost from my sight,
I want to be aware of this.
This spiritual path will appear
the moment my mind clarifies,
I need to dig deep within me,
to sort out the truth from the lies.
I've lived my days to constantly
please all the people around me,
I need to escape this life
as it stops me from running free.
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
butterfly
gossamer beauty
wings in flight
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
you
quiver
as my touch
traces your
thigh--
sparkling sapphire eyes
shine as
candlelight caresses
them,
coal black hair
sleek, sophisticated...
Heavenly handsome
on our sultry Spanish
tryst,
full of surprises
you take my hand,
guitar strumming slowly
we take to the floor
you pull me close
to your chest,
our bodies touch--
heat is
intense,
whispering words
of love
I feel like I'm
floating
as you
guide me
leaving me to
wantonly wonder--
will you lead me
to ecstasy?
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
For too long I've let my past
have a bearing on how I act.
Too eager to part with my heart,
hoping to find an angel-fish
Among the sharks,
I never once wised up:
that's what was keeping me in the dark.
People used me-- men abused me,
one even threatened my life.
Until that point my only crime
was trying to be the handle
to his knife.
Now I understand my folly.
I need to love myself today,
to know I'm worthy of respect,
and not an object to neglect,
gathering dust on some man's shelf,
until he wants to play.
So from today I'm 'raising the bar',
to 'have me' means to love me.
| Author Notes | Picture courtesy of Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
Chemical imbalance, so they say,
'Bottled Sunshine' on the way.
"Take these pills" the doctor said,
"for just now you're off your head".
How about trying to help me cope?,
"without meds? You've not a hope".
All too quickly 'they' fill the script
bloody hell, I think I've flipped!
"Why don't you try the alternative?"
Nature's garden has much to give.
Zombied out from day to day
no joy in viewing world this way.
The change is quick - from sick to placid
yet leaves a taste of bitter passive.
Staring coldly from dead eyes
'they' say it helps, I say it's lies.
This bottled sunshine chemical ray
to guide me through each dreaded day.
but no longer will I take what's given:
a doctor's cure, money driven.
By Jaq Cee
beauty draped in
satin and
lace
wanton look on
lover's
face
black and purple
sheaths her
frame
interest piqued--
he knows the
game
seductive words
are quietly
spoken
forgotten feelings
are now
awoken
temptress smiles
with lust-filled
eyes
she can feel
his ardour
rise
By Jaq Cee
Veni, Vidi, Vici
you came, you saw,
you conquered me
I awoke today
to feel the heat,
it wasn't from outside
it came from deep
within my core
I felt you close to me.
I heard you near,
your voice the key
to all that made my day
I lay alone but knew
that soon, you'd
join me and we'd
play.
Veni, Vidi, Vici,
I relinquished
all to you.
| Author Notes | Image from Google. :) |
By Jaq Cee
Do not judge me
on what you see
All I know is
how to be me
Cherish my heart
feel my pride
see my beauty
from inside
Self disgust
penned me in
people said I
was full of sin
They never saw
what hid below
nor did they see what
I tried to show
See my tears flow
watch me bleed
you never came when
I was in need
So please don't judge
'cause you don't know
just what it is that
drives me so.
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
we will be perfect
you and
I
I laugh more since
you came into
my life
which is enhanced
just by your
presence
you've joined my
life's journey at the
perfect moment
and awakened
my dormant
lust
when we meet and touch
mmmmmm...that feeling
will be epic
you have my heart and
have stolen my soul--
completely
when we join as one
the sky will
explode
into a myriad
of colours
we will be perfect
you and
I
This I know--
| Author Notes |
Picture from Google Images.
Scant punctuation and capitalisation intended. |
By Jaq Cee
Taste me, make me, feel my soul,
touch me, steal me, make me whole
hold me, mould me
make me your own
tease me, please me
make me your toy
And I will always...
love you, caress you
satisfy your needs
want you, take you
blow your mind
But if you ever...
hurt me, break me
try to kill my soul,
deceive me, control me
or pull me down
I will leave you, flailing flaccidly
In a loveless putrid sea,
Then I'll walk, head held high,
Respect for me, is my reply.
| Author Notes |
British spelling of mould/mold
Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
I opened the door to yesterday
and dipped my toe back in it,
the feeling is cold-- unforgiving,
one step forward... two back.
I need to move out of the past
and break down the walls that surround,
to strive for a new beginning
no hurt, no sorrow or fear.
As I swim off into tomorrow
and leave the mad past behind,
I welcome this bright new dawning,
day one of my life starts now.
| Author Notes |
Another middle of the night write.
Picture Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
We had it all-
or so I thought
our days idyllic,
our nights romantic.
Your essence claimed
my senses as your
own, each touch, smell,
taste- yours.
Those nights when
our union was frantic,
the taste of your sweetness
as it rolled down your body.
We fell headlong into
soft, sensual satin,
my legs around your waist...
tight; needy; full of want.
I pulled you into my moist body
excitement; elation; love...
or so I thought
but it wasn't to be.
My heart broken,
torn asunder,
you moved on,
so easily.
I never forget those
hot steamy nights
we fell asleep--
entwined.
Love lost so completely
I miss your touch,
we had it all-
or so I thought.
| Author Notes | Google images supplied the lovely picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Stay with me; play with me;
love me tonight,
consume my passion 'til dawn's
first light.
Under the stars as our
bodies entwine,
promise me sweetheart
you'll always be mine.
I want you; I need you;
I'm filled with desire,
take me; fulfill me;
please quench my fire.
We meet in my dreams
to join as one,
stay with me; play with me;
the ride's just begun.
| Author Notes |
Another middle of the night awakening :) I really need to sleep. LOL.
Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
Into the moonlit street
we crept, you and
I
Away from the madding
crowd, we made our
escape
On our own at last
we hold each other
close
Hearts beating like
the drums of
war
The tempo increases
as we merge into
one
Lips parting, teeth
nibbling, tongues
entwine
I trace your face
with my
fingers
You feel my heat
and you pull me
in
This is the night
I've been waiting
for
Let's lie on the grass
and forget our
past
Alone together
forever, as
one
| Author Notes |
Picture from Photobucket
Minimal punctuation deliberate xx |
By Jaq Cee
his eyes pierced
my very soul
quivering--
I sigh.
dark hair
swept suavely
back,
I stared
into those eyes
like pools of
stardust,
shivering--
I knelt in
anticipation
teasing me
with your
solid self
I smile--
You are mine,
I am yours--
you set free
my burning desire
hidden for so long...
now it flows
as nectar does from
bountilful flowers
greedily--
I taste your
essence too,
together we tumble
into satin covered bed
writhing,
moaning,
satisfying primal needs
you fill me
I possess you
completely
fulfilled,
for now...
By Jaq Cee
Kyrie Eleison, Christe Eleison,
Kyrie Eleison...
(Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy,
Lord have mercy)...
These words were sung today in church
as I knelt down in prayer,
they used to be so comforting--
but now there's nothing there.
It's hard to see this as I did,
when I was but a child.
Then things were so much simpler, as
I followed meek and mild.
I believed the Lord was present
each step along the way,
but then I found out soon enough
sometimes he'd let us stray.
Our lives are mapped out so we're told,
all part of God's great plan,
but then the path just disappears,
we're left with mortal man.
I hope one day I'll understand
why life was strewn with glass,
and maybe I'll have answers as
to why I felt his wrath'
| Author Notes |
Some musings while in Chapel today.
Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
Painfully obvious...
but they're all oblivious.
They only see what they want to see,
they never see what preoccupies me.
No-one came when I cried,
no-one saw as my soul died.
My only faith now, is from within --
all those good people? I know they sin.
All God's creatures? Someone lied,
as I lay down like a dog and cried.
Laid bare for the world to see
was my tiny body, shorne of dignity?
Internal turmoil -- body ravaged,
emotional meltdown -- mind so savaged.
Sex is hurtful -- sordid and bad.
To know this at eight? Isn't that sad?
To forgive -- not forget -- is now my task,
even this, though, is such a huge ask.
I try to be good, but then I can see
as I look in a mirror, what's missing from me.
I want to be normal, I want to be free,
to find a lover who's gentle with me.
To never again feel that sex is bad,
would be the best feeling I've ever had.
| Author Notes |
Thank you so much for the title and the few edits Meehal(Rondeno) your input is precious to me.
Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
Do you punch the air? High-five perfect strangers? Hug members of the same sex? How do you celebrate those special moments of elation? European soccer players run around blind, having pulled their shirts up over their heads, exposing their torsos to the world. Therein lay my downfall ...
One cold, wet Sunday afternoon, my daughter and I decided to have a 'jammie day' (a "hang out in pajamas" day, that is).
I'm a big soccer fan, and my team (Celtic) were playing in a televized game, so I settled down to watch it. I have to admit to getting a tiny bit excited whilst watching the 'footy'. My daughter was sitting at the PC, talking to her friends on MSN messenger. (I always kept the PC in the living room back then, so that I could monitor it).
Anyway, as the game went on, I was getting right into it. Celtic scored, I was whooping very loudly. Then for some unknown reason I decided that I would make my daughter laugh and run around the coffee table with my top pulled up over my face as the soccer players do, when celebrating a goal on the field. I heard this high pitched "OH MOM! I have the webcam on!!!"
BANG, I hit the floor and tiger-crawled like an army sniper back to my seat on the sofa. Face like a ripe tomato and feeling so foolish. My daughter was mortified. Being thirteen years old was hard enough to cope with, without Mom completely embarrassing her to boot.
That day a proportion of the youth of Dundee were scarred for life and I learned a valuable lesson. Play the fool by all means - but check there are no cameras about!
By Jaq Cee
I will wait for your love
I will wait for you...
to see you smile
to hear you laugh
to watch your
eyes twinkle
these are things
I think about
when I dream
of you
my love is free
without condition
reach out...
feel my need
your life is not that
simple 'though
this I know
is true
time and distance
separate
while hearts and mind
entwine
I will wait for your touch...
I will wait for you
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
You trust, you love,
then you're let down--
you build a wall..
protection
It's hard to let
anyone in--
but yet again
you try
They're kind and genteel
just what you need--
well for a while
at least
The wall begins to
crumble down
the sun starts
shining in
The brightness makes
your smile wide
like summer brings
great joy
You fall for charm and
empty words
you want to believe
are true
Soon enough
the brightness ends
the clouds begin
to gather
stone by stone
the wall returns
to guard your heart
forever
Another day, another dawn
once again I try
love and trust
I'll gladly embrace
for if not.. I might
die
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google Images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Passion...
flows hot from my
core
Iridescent and rare--
like golden
ore
I offer you my soul
and so much
more
Yet, still I fall short
of your needs
therefore...
I shelve my feelings
before they
pour
into the abyss of
nothingness
as oft' times
before
where my passion
abused--
laid bare
on the
floor...
forevermore
| Author Notes | Picture from Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
Listen--
hear my cry
Life--
it just keeps
wandering
by
I try to keep up
but then...
I sigh
Life is too hard
I cannot
lie
Lost in a world
of wondering--
Why?
| Author Notes |
This woke me up today.
Picture courtesy of Google. |
By Jaq Cee
Animals trooped in two by two
But they wondered what to do
Caught inside this wooden zoo
Denied a look out at the view
Endless nights to get through
Fights for space to lay their head
Giraffe's standing they had no bed
Ham decided who was led
Inside to have a slice of bread
Jackals howled with a sense of dread
| Author Notes | Ham is one of Noah's sons. Picture courtesy of Wikipedia. |
By Jaq Cee
Melt into me--
let your essence
mingle with mine-
bathe my being
Lips to lips
heart to heart
touching--
beating--
longing
feel the heat
as your passion
ebbs into mine
our auras blend
into a myriad
of colours
Tears of pure joy
flow and pool
as our bodies
entwine
melt into my sweetness
as we bond..
together..
forever as
one
By Jaq Cee
Winter winds whipping by
they leave mayhem in their wake.
Weather changes caused by people--
nature's beauty it does rake.
Corporate con-men come and say,
"we'll save your natural habitat".
These words are woven to deceive,
protects the back of some fat cat.
From all sides Mother Nature's attacked,
beautiful blossoms bloom no more.
Severely ravaged, lost forever--
cuts into her very core.
Torrid times ahead for mankind,
weather changes commonplace,
pollution sullies Mother's landscape;
wiping beauty from her face.
| Author Notes |
Another middle of the night musing. :)
Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
A cut, a scratch, another wound
to show that you're alive
a knife, a needle, something else
to make your blood run free
To ease your worries, salve your fears
you harm your very soul
your body pays the hefty price
to clear your troubled mind
How has it come to this
my dear and tortured girl
that the only way to feel alive
is to scar yourself for life?
You try to hide the risen marks
that desecrate your body
I've seen them all and wept aloud
for the person that was you
Not everyone leaves you behind
to struggle on alone
I'm here watching, saddened so much--
come I'll hold you up
Turn to me, let me help
to ease the internal torment
I'm here for you-- just turn around
my arms are open... waiting
| Author Notes |
Written after hearing my niece was self-harming.
Picture courtesy of Google Images. Lack of punctuation intended. |
By Jaq Cee
Cyclonic winds and tortuous Tsunamis
mighty ice-caps that melt away
excessive heat from irate sun
burning forests and homes each day
Now's the time we're facing payback
for the sins of humankind
global warming's taking over
robbing Mother Nature blind
Rain forests raped and bared for money
animals killed and thrown aside
Even people who used it's shelter
homeless now, no place to reside
Greedy corporate fat cats profit
from the abject misery
caused by theft and exploitation
of the world's great scenery
We have to stop this devastation
let's be heard, stand up tall
help the earth regain its beauty--
eco-warriors one and all
| Author Notes |
Inspired by this video sent to me by Rama Devi.
Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
Jesus of Nazareth
Extolled great virtue
Sacrificed for
Us to
Save our souls
| Author Notes |
Picture from Google images
|
By Jaq Cee
Beaten, bruised, bowed and
bludgeoned
my fragile spirit
besieged
lies
fervently faking feral
noises
while inside my
self-esteem
dies
Darkness oppresses
tortured mind
shame-shriveled
while soul
cries
Now tenuous sunshine
stealthily creeps
bringing hope to
dry my
eyes
as furtive Phoenix
from foul ashes
fresh force finding
watch me
rise
Unbowed, unbroken still
standing tall
now spirit surges, soars
Unleashed, it flexes
flies
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Rondeno for casting his eye over this and suggesting a couple of changes. It's how I learn.
Thanks to Google for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
to know you
to feel you
to love you
is to be close to you, you died for us all
you gave us a new beginning, we took it
and as you hung on that cross, we cried
you loved us
you held us
you saw our
pain and you
saved us all
your love is a
treasure for us
to behold, Our
Lord, Our King.
By Jaq Cee
The room was dark the music loud,
t'was then I spotted you.
Standing straight and Oh so proud,
nothing could spoil the view.
I felt my heart beat like a drum,
excitement followed soon.
It was a story just begun,
I wanted you... and soon.
A current flowed from eye to eye,
we both soaked up the sight.
My pulse was beating wild and free,
I knew this was our right.
I saw inside, my mind was clear,
this has been worth the wait.
To grab love now, to have no fear,
my ardour now to sate.
Come to me now, my conqueror,
take me, touch me, feel me.
I want to take this night further,
our passion's there to see.
I have waited so patiently,
felt like a thousand years.
Now you have come so perfectly,
to salve my hopeless fears.
| Author Notes |
Picture from Google images. British spelling of 'ardour'.
Song my daughter and son-in-law walked down the aisle to recently. |
By Jaq Cee
The second day of February
this year of twenty thirteen,
my darling daughter married her man
the tears of joy flowed free.
The church was full and beautiful
both families sat well-dressed,
the smiles of happiness showing bright
the song of love was playing.
A perfect day was had by all
their journey now begins,
into their future they both step
to dance the dance of love
I will miss my little girl
all grown now and complete,
I wish them every happiness
to face this world as one.
| Author Notes |
Picture of the happy couple.
|
By Jaq Cee
disconsolate
reclusive
abandoned
withdrawn
all words for being alone.
destitute
rejected
solitary
forsaken
I sit and cry, forlorn
mournful sobs and melancholy cries,
abound through isolation.
mornings come and nighttimes go,
company an absent friend.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
TammyGail is a wordsmith so divine,
Oh how I'd wish her words were mine.
Metaphorically speaking she blows me away,
Caught up in the words she has to say.
She is now published, a true poetess.
Queen of metaphors yet a damsel in distress.
Her life should be filled with love and hope,
Not confined to darkness, unable to cope.
Tammy reviewed each writer in an honest fashion,
no thought for mere dollars it was just her passion.
I wish you well my talented friend,
I miss your words which I'll always defend.
You made this site fun, a cool place to be,
with your expulsion went a little part of me.
Come back to us, Tammy, you're needed right here,
your words are divine, you have nothing to fear.
| Author Notes |
Photo courtesy of Photobucket.
For all who miss Tammy's ink. :) |
By Jaq Cee
battle-weary,scarred and impotent
many voices shout in anger
dirt ingrained in my pores
listen now as guns fire
insurgents gather
soldiers taken
tanks explode
this is
war
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Hurt, anguish,
sorrow, pain,
will never blight
my life again.
Bright sunshine
evaporates the rain
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google Images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Squeak, squeak went the farm gate,
creaking off it's hinges.
The swish and scrape of wind-blown trees,
as they beat on broken windows
A metal bin crashes and clatters,
as it falls from well worn gate.
Smash, bang went the window shutters,
old locks fall to the ground.
Whistling winds blow straight through,
they howl like a banshee.
Old farmhouse broken down,
it plays a symphony.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
I wish that I could float away
upon a big soft cloud,
to distant places full of play,
where grouches aren't allowed.
Please enter if you're positive
feel the sunshine, make hay,
free yourself from the negative,
have fun and make my day.
My life has been a big black ride
at times I lost my way,
so now I'm looking for blue skies
to keep the dark at bay.
Enter my soul and fill me full
of happiness and love,
no more to dip in life's dark pool,
nor dark clouds up above.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Zombified people
Open sores weeping
Mechanically walk while
Bloody appendages trail
Insipid personalities
Evoking terrible fear
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google Images for the drawing. |
By Jaq Cee
He'll rob her innocence
without a care
gouge out her soul and bare
her defences
childhood dreams
gone
in an
instant
And you, Predatory Pernicious Paedophile ,
you were her friend
the damage you caused
is beyond repair
surreptitiously
you hold her close
quietly
you touch where you shouldn't go.
your mind is sick
you say it's pure
her life's been ruined
there is no cure
see her suffering
feel her pain
her life will never
be the same
~~
| Author Notes |
Minimal capitalisation or punctuation intended. British English spelling.
Picture from Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
Loneliness engulfs
encompasses my being
it may drive me mad
then again it may be nice
to sit and ponder my life
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
Neon souls that shine so bright
guide me safely through dark nights,
light my way through a mixed-up world,
illuminate path as it unfurls.
These souls are with me constantly,
and listen intently to all I say.
They never judge nor do they condemn
but watch me fall and then pick me up again.
Neon essence swirls around me,
keeps me sane, sets my mind free,
takes my hand to lead the way,
eases my journey day by day.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Flickr for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Like a broken
ballerina,
lying scattered
on the floor,
my fragile heart
is shattered,
bruised and bleeding
like before.
Myriad of emotions,
ebb and flow
through troubled
mind.
This simple saying
echoes loud
'seek and you will find'.
But that's not true
for everyone,
left searching, feeling
blind.
I cannot see, nor
feel my way,
True love I always
miss.
One day I'll heal and
trust again,
or be lost in time's
abyss.
By Jaq Cee
Those little hands they'll never hold,
those life stories left untold.
Life events that won't unfold,
God bless the little ones.
Hearts torn apart large holes to fill,
no easy laughter all is still,
taken too soon at evil's will,
God bless the little ones.
It will now be known in history,
as yet one more remembrance day,
the day that love was stolen away,
God bless the little ones.
Enquiring minds won't have their say,
never to laugh nor to just play.
Snatched away that fateful day,
God bless the little ones.
Engulfing sadness holds me still,
no senior prom dreams to fulfill,
I often wonder at HIS will,
God bless the little ones.
Tomorrow is promised to no one,
rise up, go forth, love life, have fun.
Live for the adults they should have become
God bless the little ones.
| Author Notes |
For all children everywhere taken too soon from this world.
This woke me up constantly through the night. |
By Jaq Cee
It started out as therapy,
I needed to vent to have my say.
So much darkness I couldn't see,
Now I find words have set me free.
One day my mind is full of rhyme,
the next it seems to just mark time.
No flow or rhythm does appear,
cerebral mush, nothing is clear.
Like a bolt from out of the blue,
up pops some words, clearing my view.
Some make sense so I start to write,
darkness dispelled by rays of light.
Many a night I'm pulled from sleep,
I have to write some words to keep.
Once on paper it starts to flow,
at last I have something to show.
I now create words that are fun,
no more darkness only the sun.
As I bloom, catharsis complete,
I've learned so much my mind's replete.
By Jaq Cee
as winter winds howl
no shelter or food for birds
they fly off down south
| Author Notes | Picture from Google images. Many thanks. |
By Jaq Cee
I look from behind fearful eyes,
take in the scary view.
Open the door, what do I see?
Vulnerability.
Hide behind drapes tightly drawn,
doors securely bolted.
Get some help from powers that be,
flawed psychology.
Want to break free from bonds of fear,
one foot tries to go forth.
Not yet ready to face the world,
agoraphobia mutes me.
| Author Notes |
How I assume agoraphobia must affect you.
Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
From the depths of despair
I now longingly stare.
Nonsensical words block my view,
to understand I battle through.
Torrential torment tumbles down,
I try to smile and hide the frown.
For a while you shone diamond bright,
you drew me to your awesome sight.
I miss the glow of your bright light,
replaced now with the darkest night .
Why did my light choose to recede?
My hopes and dreams it now impedes.
I'd dared to ponder life anew,
now engulfed by blackest hue.
At last I'd looked out from inside,
just this one time I didn't hide.
I bared my heart and also my soul,
I thought at last I'd become whole.
Was this once again so wrong?
Will this be my final swan song?
Unsure of my path once again,
lost on a road that's closing in.
It's time to be brave, to fly free,
start to love the person that's me.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
come a little closer
feel it
embrace it
devour it
the heat of my desire
burns deep within
my soul
come a little closer
touch me
taste me
engulf me
with your senses
as I writhe
in ecstasy
come a little closer
my love
my heart
my soul
is totally consumed
with wanton abandon
for you
come a little closer
taste my essence
as it flows
in rivulets of
passion
see it cascade
across my being
| Author Notes |
Just a little thing I'm trying. Not worried about the lack of punctuation.
Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
You are doing it again
forgetting what you want,
you've walked into this room
and gone completely blank.
You stand there bemused
your grey matter misty,
thoughts seem to jump around
and disappear too soon.
You are looking nonplussed
as you wrack your brains' depths,
wait, I've got it, oh no,
it's hidden once again.
Middle age is a time
to rest and settle down,
if only I could remember
just where I left my chair.
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Google images for the picture.
Just a wee bit of fun. |
By Jaq Cee
As
the
Siren
enchanted
seafarers with song
beckoning them to fateful end
mercilessly you tried the same but my strength prevailed
| Author Notes |
First attempt at a Fibonacci all honest and helpful critique gratefully received. :) Jaq
Fibonacci Sequence in syllable counts: The Fibonacci Sequence is the series of numbers: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, ... The next number is found by adding up the two numbers before it. Thanks to Google Images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Crowned with thorns
Ridiculed and
Undermined
Christ was
Immortalised
Forever
In sadistic
Excruciating
Death
By Jaq Cee
Every new day that
gaily dawns, shining
brightly for me,
gives my life
some semblance of hope,
that there will be
love for me.
My hearts been used,
abused and torn,
battle-scarred and hurt,
yet still I have faith
that somewhere out there,
is the one to finally
heal me.
He may already
be known to me,
if so then I would
be happy, he may be from
some far off land,
I'll just have to wait
and see.
To feel him close and know
he understands,
all that I've been through,
the way I know the
troubles he's borne,
will bring a closeness
between us too.
My heart will heal and
love will prevail,
of this I have no doubt,
to be lonely forever
was never the plan,
someone to love
will encompass my soul.
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Google images for the picture.
Just a wee musing here, trying to perfect free verse. :) Jaq x |
By Jaq Cee
Where on earth did all the years go?
Now dawns the winter of my life.
Was there a time love I did know?
Where on earth did all the years go?
Which path to take I didn't know?
Following my heart brought me strife.
Where on earth did all the years go?
Now dawns the winter of my life.
| Author Notes |
My first attempt at this form. Many thanks to Gungalo for casting her eye over it and for her editing suggestions.
Picture courtesy of Google Images. |
By Jaq Cee
The first time my eyes saw your beauty
my heart raced erupting with love
my life was to change greatly
unconditional love
as I gazed at you
my darling child
sweet and pure
sublime
mine.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the lovely picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Children's laughter sounds
Christmas day draws ever near
Santa's on his way
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the cute picture. |
By Jaq Cee
I would like to say it's been a great few months on Fanstory.
Like anywhere on-line it has it's 'ups and downs', but for me the ups far outweigh the downs.
I have come into contact with some truly wonderful people, some inspirational words and mostly always a helping hand.
Enjoy the holiday season and may the Blessings you all deserve come to your door.
By Jaq Cee
Sands of time
slowly shift
grain
by
grain
My lifeblood
sluggishly seeps
As life's hourglass
nears its end.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
broken heart
like damaged jigsaw
piece missing
By Jaq Cee
A love that lasts forever,
is very sought after.
Why then is it so hard
to find?
It's like trying to catch
the wind in an embrace.
Or to jump over a rainbow,
on your way to
the moon.
To pluck a star
from the darkest of night
and place atop
your Christmas tree,
might be an easier dream
to achieve.
Maybe if I stop searching
for love everlasting,
it will float gently by,
just when I least
expect it.
I live in hope...
| Author Notes | Thank you to Google images for the cute picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Kitchen door slams!
"You don't understand me!"
Tantrums and diva strop - angry tears.
"What's the problem, son? Calm down, don't shout."
Teenage years, drama-filled, angst-ridden.
Misunderstood, always.
Clattering dishes! How many broken?
Novel way to 'do' them.
My temper rising. Trying hard not to blow.
"What don't I understand, son?"
"Everything about me. You're too old to know."
"I was a teenager once."
"See! You don't understand."
Eyes roll. I walk away.
Teenagers should come with a health warning.
storm blows high
in angry outbursts
teenage years
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Ray (Earl) for the pointers on my first Haibun. :)
Word count 94 - haiku 3-5-3 Thanks also to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
The light which shines in the eye is really the light of the heart.
The light which fills the heart is the light of God.
~ Rumi
~~~
In love's eye God's light does shine,
from His heart pure love flows.
If you believe in love divine,
from your eyes it will show.
Inside our heart passion does abound,
the eyes show our soul's harmony.
Then when your true love has been found,
you'll never again feel lonely.
God and love do fit together,
for some this may not be true.
For me it is a veiled tether,
which will bind me closer to you.
Each to their own I do believe,
to preach at you isn't my place.
You'll feel it when your mind does conceive,
true love is entwined with God's grace.
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Google images for the picture.
Thanks for very a very helpful review elpsog. Edits read better. |
By Jaq Cee
My life's not been easy,
but I'm not
complaining,
most people have
trials too.
We can let them
define us
or look to the future,
and use them in
all that we do.
Our life is
mapped out,
we've been shown a road,
to walk it
is all we can do.
Our free will
dictates
we all have choices,
that sometimes we won't
get right.
We can't blame the hand
that we've been dealt,
as our decisions
we make for
ourselves.
So cherish the good times
and suffer the trials
we're only human
we will make
mistakes.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Snow envelopes us
white winter shawl drawn around
heated by the cold
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Google images for the picture. Thank you also to Gungalo for pointing me gently in the right direction with this one. :) Jaq x
Thanks also to Slythytove2 for the pointers. |
By Jaq Cee
this
day's dawn
will arise
soon we shall see
the wondrous sight that is God's Creation
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google Images for the beautiful picture. |
By Jaq Cee
A ray of hope through words glimmered,
Your soul, awesome, brightly shimmered.
What brought us together we'll never know,
now I'm here there's no rush to go.
You are a beacon of hope for me,
from a far off land oe'r the sea.
You're such a lovely, honest guy,
who makes me feel that I could fly.
I know we're new to being friends,
but I hope this oneness doesn't end.
You fill me with inspiration,
help me fulfill my ambition.
You make me smile each dawning day,
with the sweet words you have to say.
A friend such as you is a treasure,
to read your words is a pleasure.
So Mark I wanted you to know,
your poem today made me glow.
From inside out my smile so wide,
all thanks to you, my friend, my guide.
Friendships may form and fail to last,
it's been that way throughout our past.
This one, I feel, it will endure,
forever friends of that I'm sure.
| Author Notes |
Thank you to Google images for the picture.
Thank you to Mark for his unending friendship. It is a two way street my friend. |
By Jaq Cee
Sadness did engulf me,
the day I realised,
that what I'd chosen not to see,
were the lies that you'd disguised.
You drew me in so easily,
your smile told me you cared.
Blue eyes showed your love so freely,
more than I had ever dared.
Bit by bit your mask slipped,
your smile became a sneer,
that happiness, for once I'd gripped
was now to cost me dear.
Looking back I couldn't have known,
what vileness lurked within.
The only traits that you had shown,
were from a heart so loving.
I now know it was a facade,
to break down my free will.
But you're the one who should be sad,
your life is empty still.
| Author Notes |
Thank you to Google images for the picture.
This was a catharsis, I am no longer in that place. |
By Jaq Cee
I wandered into
hallowed space,
a 'virtual'
Nirvana.
I penned my words
then passed them
'round
for everyone to
see.
Some have liked them,
others not;
some just pass
on by.
All I want
is to touch
one heart,
then my day's
fulfilled.
Whilst gliding through
the atmosphere,
I've made a friend
or two.
You see, I've
'met'
some lovely souls,
most of whom
I'll cherish.
I'm finding my
feet.
I learn daily
new styles that
catch my eye
from writers who
encapture my heart,
to those that
me make
smile.
I'm glad I
happened by
this way.
So thankful for
the help.
I think I'll
stay around awhile;
this feels like
'virtual' home.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. It symbolises for me, the way we have the whole world in the palm of our hands with the flick of our PC on/off switch. |
By Jaq Cee
Eyes of green
perfect hue
for someone
filled with
envy
Watches, waits
silently
to stamp o'er
someone's
love
You rage at people,
malcontent,
at love they have
aplenty
Grudging
each and every
smile,
kind word,
or friendly
action
Jealousy
festers deep inside
your sad,
decayed
soul
To rip apart
loving
couples,
is your life's
ambition
You decry
unselfish acts,
because
your life's
empty
| Author Notes |
Thank you to Google images for the picture.
Sparse punctuation intentional. |
By Jaq Cee
Can you hear that?
My heart is pounding
like soldiers beating
drums.
Do you feel it
as you caress me?
My body does
respond.
I yearn to feel,
your breath on my skin.
As the heat of it
reaches my
essence.
Experience my wonder
as your love
encompasses
my body,
soul and being.
We will be as one
intertwining,
our hearts
together, forever
in
synchronicity.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
CHRIST CRUCIFIED
HUNG LIMPLY
RIDICULED
INCISED
STIGMATA AND
THORNS RUN RED
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
I watch in awe and admiration
my gorgeous girl plans her wedding
with affection I step back
I take in how she's grown
chest bursting with pride
she leaves me now
to become
a loved
wife
| Author Notes | The picture is of my daughter and her lovely fiance. I wish them well for their wedding on the 2nd of February xx. |
By Jaq Cee
Stormy seas
frightens fishermen
Lonely lighthouse
beacon bright
Guiding light
helping sailors
homeward bound
| Author Notes | Thank you to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
With heavy heart
I find myself,
in need of solitude.
To find myself,
to love myself,
to see what others see.
My heart is soft
and full of love,
for everyone but me,
I need to feel
just what it's like,
to smile and know
it's real.
I really must
cocoon myself,
from hurt, sorrow
and pain.
I'll also leave some
things behind,
that stop me
flourishing.
No more hiding
unshed tears,
from pain that
sears my soul.
No more longing
for better things,
my life will now
begin.
Please believe you
meant so much,
a confidante, a friend.
But realise I need to fly,
go forth, and
find my way.
| Author Notes |
I had to say goodbye to someone who has been an important part of my life, it wasn't easy. However sometimes it has to be done for you to grow.
Thanks to Google images for the beautiful picture, "A sad way to say goodbye" by John Keaton |
By Jaq Cee
snow falls gently down
my face is tilted upwards
encounters soft flakes
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
I go to walk outside,
my heart begins to race.
My head begins to pound,
the sweat runs down my face.
This feeling that occurs,
each time I seek release.
Pulls me back inside,
into the dark with ease
I want to let go now,
to fly like free birds do.
To shake off the shackles,
and see the wider view.
Anxiety attacks me,
holds me firmly rooted.
Will I beat this demon?
Thoughts that I had mooted.
Another day's upon us,
I'll try again today.
This fear I will dispel,
I truly hope and pray.
By Jaq Cee
I don't understand
the complex human psyche
especially mine
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Why do people do it?
Playing with your head.
It's beyond cruel
and hateful,
rips your insides,
leaves them dead.
Emotions up, then
battered down.
Hopes alive, they
quickly die.
Thoughts in turmoil,
constant frown.
Are you muddled?
Or just unkind?
Is your head a mess?
Do you see the chaos
you wreak?
Would it matter?
Do you mind?
I'm struggling badly,
with the words you said.
I guess I'll never
understand.
Why people think it's alright,
to play games
with your head?
By Jaq Cee
Loneliness, desolation,
time spent on my own.
More than I can handle,
from all that life has thrown.
Never feeling closeness,
that takes its toll,
last time I felt wanted.
I can't recall.
Isolation, solitude,
craving some company.
Talking to myself again,
please stop this misery.
Melancholy moments, tears begin to flow.
Bow my head hiding,
hoping they won't show.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Prayers and Blessings for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Running
Leaping
Bounding
Flying
Santa's reindeer on their merry way.
Delivering joy on Christmas day.
| Author Notes | Thank you to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Sir Charles Spencer "Charlie" Chaplin
all was quiet when he was filming.
In black and white
he was such a delight.
Chaplin, Charles Spencer "Charlie",
always left you feeling happy,
with slapstick, miming
and comic timing.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Sitting here I cry
For a life not fully lived
Wondering what went wrong
Anguish pours from my soul
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
A downtrodden race
from the early days
an Gorta Mor
depleted them so
the Irish Diaspora
left their shores
looking for somewhere
fruitful to go.
They travelled far to find a life
where their children's bellies
didn't hunger
they found a place to settle down
away from the potato blight.
Whilst back at home
great changes were rung
division came out of the
famine
Catholics oppressed
no longer valued
thought less than
a dog or a horse.
Fight back they did
against the Protestant
'masters' who
burned their homes to
the ground
Their spirit was immense
it carried them through
out of the ashes of all
they had owned
emerged the Phoenix
noble and true.
Ireland's the place
that people should know
to believe it had to
be seen
where people were slain
for the heinous crime
of wearing the colour
green
| Author Notes |
an Gorta Mór - Irish Gaelic for the Potato Famine which ravaged crops and left people dead from hunger from 1845-1852. Out of which was born their first Freedom Fighters.
Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Step out of the darkness
move into the light
day by day
you feel it's might
it pulls you out
of depressions grip
keeps you afloat
in a sinking ship
It's hard to conquer
these feelings of
woe
you feel so desolate
you've nowhere to
go
Please think of the love
which is given
to you
from people who
benefit from all
that you do
Your words inspire
your story's
admired
such strength you
possess
our company
you bless
Come hear our words
listen awhile
step out of the darkness
see the light
smile!
:)
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Google images for the picture.
No punctuation by desire. |
By Jaq Cee
High pitched whines
overhead
Droning rockets
launched on high
BANG
the bombs drop
people dead
weeping wailing
screaming
cries
THUD
the mortars land
on target
WHOOSH
the tanks engulfed
in fire
hear the
crackle
of burning skin
SHRILL
voices fill the night
hopes of silence
wearing thin
noises like the
halls of Hades
howling yelling
shrieking
pain
| Author Notes |
Lack of punctuation and capitals meant.
Thanks to Google images for the picture. Ah well I went over the 12 lines allowed so I guess I'm out of it. I just couldn't stop once I'd started . |
By Jaq Cee
Beautiful body
so silky smooth
I openly admire
the way you
move
Sculpted torso
Adonis
shaped moulded
hardened
coldness
As you wander
passed the mirror
I espy
the wondrous sight
that makes
me sigh
My eyes devour
your very
being
My mind is full
of wanton
feelings
Lay with me now
I'll consume your
whole
Sucking licking
inhaling your
soul
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
I cry for you, my prodigal child
so rebellious, willful and wild.
Your travelled path held no fear,
you didn't want me near.
I just hoped you knew,
that I loved you.
You're troubled,
child of
mine
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Apostles travelled far and wide,
Praying for our souls.
Offering peaceful sanctity from
Satans cruel trolls.
They taught of love and harmony,
Lead us to salvation.
Exaltations shouted forth,
Soon, through the apostles we join God's nation
By Jaq Cee
~~
Trickle down my
hot hard
body,
flowing
slowly
ever
glowing.
~
Take me to
your world of
pleasure,
satisfy my
growing
desire.
~
Love me like
no other has
kiss me
deep
and
with desire.
~
Let your tongue
tease
my body,
licking droplets
of my
essence.
~
Our bodies dance
with gay abandon,
bucking
grabbing
sliding
forth.
~
To feel you
deep
your love encountered.
take me now--
This depth
of love
I've never known.
~~
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Oh, how our minds
melt into one.
Intellectual lovemaking?
Or just a
wavelength
we surf together?
Thoughts in tandem--
I know your
mind.
Reciprocal needs?
Or maybe a
cerebral connection
out with our
ken.
Minds awash with
similar thoughts,
take us to a
higher plain,
entwined and entangled
by psychic bonds
that wrap our minds
together.
Whatever it may be,
you are me
and
I am you--
together as one,
for eternity.
| Author Notes | When you have a soul-mate you do have that psychic bond. |
By Jaq Cee
Come, walk with me a while
Hold my hand
let me salve your fears
just for this moment
in time
Throw away your cares
Let me take you
to a place
where love surrounds
and worries disappear
at least for
today
I can't take away
your pain
I can only share
your load
Come, take my hand
walk with me
awhile.
| Author Notes | James things will get better x |
By Jaq Cee
snow alights
we build our snowman
winters fun
By Jaq Cee
~~~
The Bard Rabbie Burns
Was romantic and fun
A wordsmith and charmer
Who was once a farmer
~
| Author Notes |
Rabbie Burns, was a renowned poet and lyricist but was also once an exciseman and a farmer.
As a Scottish poet he is referred to as 'Rabbie' which is Scottish for Robbie or Robert. |
By Jaq Cee
Never let bully's win,
you have to run and tell.
Never feel that afraid,
you have to shout and yell.
Tell a teacher or friend,
it's the right thing to do.
Don't be scared, shout it out,
make them listen to you.
If you're strong and stand up,
your days will be more fun.
No more time to feel sad,
only lots of smiles to come.
By Jaq Cee
singing in the rain
is where it's said I should be
where no one can hear
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
melting moments
of desire
sweat trickles
down
smooth
curves
afterglow of
loving
entanglement
arms and legs
entwined
together
By Jaq Cee
~~~
When the light shows
at tunnel's end.
That's where you strive
to be.
For when darkness falls
as oft times it does.
That light can set us free.
~
It guides us out from
depths so deep.
Away from the eye of
the storm
It gives us hope of
brighter days,
from which our
Faith's reborn.
~~~
| Author Notes |
Keep your chin up my friend. xx
Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
As winter's blanket falls
and white turns to green
we usher in the flowers
vibrant colours, spring has sprung
By Jaq Cee
Tommy the Turkey came to stay,
not too long before Christmas day.
Entering our barn he settled in,
secure in the fact that he was thin.
Happy was he to know his fate,
not enough meat to fill a plate.
Marching around with wattle flowing,
If he was a cock, he'd be crowing.
Pecking away at all that grain,
never thinking the weight he'd gain.
Strutting about, swinging his snood,
Thinking he won't be anyone's food.
'Til one day nearing Christmas morn,
The farmer said, "my table he'll adorn".
Up behind him he did creep,
Hoping the turkey was fast asleep.
With one eye opened to Tommy's dread,
he knew right then why he'd been fed.
Tommy took off like an arrow propelled,
ducking the cleaver before being felled.
Sad to say Tommy's turkey trot,
didn't help, for he was soon caught.
Wishing now he'd eaten less seed,
for now he'll be a tasty feed.
By Jaq Cee
~~~
There's a myriad of
thoughts,
running through my brain,
tumbling,
stumbling,
driving me insane.
How to stop them
I can't
tell.
Cut through the
melee,
shout and yell?
~~~
Will it add to
the mayhem
churning up my head.
Maybe it will confuse
me more,
leaving my ideas dead.
Meditation is something,
I really want
to learn.
To help me find my
inner peace,
I need to cool it
not burn.
~~~
By Jaq Cee
Beautiful words, are important to me,
poetry is my great passion.
I love to see it all make sense,
Well, to me, after a fashion
Disillusioned I've become
from some negative powers.
They have beaten me down,
every day, each long hour.
I will try to create, once again,
words that make people smile.
I'll ignore the cynics, nae-sayers too,
at least for a short while.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture of cleansing negative energy. |
By Jaq Cee
Pulling on my
heartstrings
Playing with my
thoughts
Muddling up my
mind
You lead me to
despair
~
You brought me down
to nothing
Stripped away my
pride
You laughed as I
grovelled
For every word of
praise
~
There was a time
long ago
When I could look
in a mirror
Now I hang my head
in shame
The image serves
to sicken.
~
I was stupid to
believe
That you could love
at all
I'm older but no
wiser
Your deceit I failed
to see.
~
Go now, get out of my life
Take your lies, please disappear
| Author Notes | Just a small release. Lack of punctuation and capitalisation intended. Thank you to Google images for the picture x |
By Jaq Cee
lies not truths
from their snake-like tongues
belief gone
By Jaq Cee
~ On a difficult journey
Angels
show up in the form of
a brand new friend
to help you
Heal ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
True friends resemble Angels,
who walk right by our sides.
They gently hold our hearts,
great solace they provide.
I have my Guardian Angel
it's nice to know their near.
I feel a presence often
which takes away my fear.
In my deep dark hours
indeed my faith may wane.
The giant wings encircle,
and take away my pain.
If your faith does lessen,
you feel your hope has gone.
A feather falls to earth,
to show you're not alone.
| Author Notes | Thanks to 'Angels among Us' for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
love is a
feeling
which rocks the
soul
infiltrates the heart
fills you with
hope
it takes you on a
journey
you fly so high
never seeing
anything
except your
desire
things can look
quite different
to someone
in love
all the bad times
disappear
when a lover
holds your
heart.
| Author Notes | Thank you SkyAngel02 for the picture. x |
By Jaq Cee
Bad politicians
Forcing hunger on the poor
Feed off of us all
By Jaq Cee
I will whisper
soft kisses
gently down your spine
trace your body
with my tongue
feel your ardour
rise.
As your body
trembles
your temperature
erupts
my hands map out
erogenous zones
as into me you glide.
Whispered kisses
fluttering, alighting
onto gleaming bodies
entwined with
desire
As you moan
at pleasures
height
begging me to stop
I know your words
belie your body
which clearly says
Don't Stop.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
raw emotion
tumbles
from every open pore
love flows unabated
eyes leaking
desire
I want to hold you close
drinking in your smell
lie you down
trembling
with your body all aglow
come to me my darling
in the dawning of the day
stay with me my sweetheart
'till the sun sets
sated
seeks slumber
take me in your arms
burying your head in deep
tell me that you'll love me
thrill me with your touch
| Author Notes |
Thank you to Google images for the picture.
|
By Jaq Cee
thoughts fragmenting
all asunder
noise in head
sounds like thunder
will it pass
like times before
I can but hope
'though never sure
battles raging
in my mind
peaceful minute
I'll not find
Like a cerebral
tug of war
fighting for space
no open door
mind awash
no sure ideas
flailing about
like stormy seas
torrential thoughts
contemplation
rocking brain
with consternation
on the horizon
dawns the light
that gives me hope
of sleep tonight
| Author Notes | No punctuation or capitalisation deliberate. Meant to be read as in a turmoil. Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
When someone hurts your child
it's like your heart is torn.
You've nurtured and loved them,
from the moment they were born.
The feeling deep inside me,
is driving me insane.
I want confrontation
to ask, what is her game.
You made my daughter cry,
that's a bad thing to do.
I'm not an angry person,
that may change just for you.
I may have to see you,
to have a little 'chat',
I'll leave you understanding,
there'll be no more of that.
So take your snidey words
and your nasty notes too,
you're meant to be an adult,
you've shown your colours true.
Back off now before I come,
to tell you how things are.
I'll hunt you down and find you,
no matter how near or far.
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Google images for the picture. Just a wee rant after my daughter came home in tears tonight from her work looking after old and infirm people.
No real attempt at meter here people. :) Jaq x |
By Jaq Cee
Oh to feel a warm summer breeze
blow all my cares away.
Close my eyes as it whispers by,
calming thoughts come what may.
To live the life I've often dreamt
and have dreams all come true.
To see them today right here and now,
in everything that I do.
I want to live this gift of life
a blessing that was given.
To really live it, not just exist
my idea of Heaven.
Blow soft summer breeze through my mind,
waft calming, silk soft wind.
Release my dreams into today,
let my new life begin.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
I dislike people
who hunt witches
where there are none to be found
People who cast stones
from houses of glass
may find a few cracks of their own.
Writing is subjective
to each their own
uniqueness is a trait to admire
True greatness is often met with derision
especially from those who have no vision.
No box to think outside of
only one that hems them in
they're the ones who miss the point
of metaphorical delight.
| Author Notes | No specific rhyme, meter or style. Just a rant. |
By Jaq Cee
love advertised as faithful and true
crept up devouring my reason
consuming all my senses
playing my fragile heart
cleaving it apart
do I believe
love exists?
for now
NO.
| Author Notes | I was ever the cynic about love, but I do have a glimmer of hope now and then that it will be as it seems at some point. :) Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Lying atop hospital bed,
is father looking half the man.
His colour is unhealthy red.
I almost ran.
It frightened me to see him there,
all huddled down, vulnerable.
If we can take him home I swear,
him, I'll cradle.
| Author Notes | Thank you to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
As the days
darkness dims
on a life
nearly spent
Lack-lustre thoughts crowd my mind
What have I left?
What is my legacy?
Will anyone weep at my grave?
Looking back through life's album
to the times I can recall
I did my best.
But was it enough?
The question still remains.
Will anyone weep at my grave?
| Author Notes |
Couldn't sleep last night and jotted this down.
Free verse, intentional lack of punctuation. Just trying things to see how they look. All critique greatly appreciated. |
By Jaq Cee
hear the keening wails
of hungry warty witches
round cauldron of fright
| Author Notes | In Rabbie Burns poem Tam O' Shanter my surname appears as the name for the witches that pulled at the horses tail. |
By Jaq Cee
silent, still, clear
the sea invites us
it's all a lie
undercurrents await
to drag you ....screaming
| Author Notes |
I have a fear of water, but love to look at the sea.
Slight edit thanks to sgalletti. |
By Jaq Cee
As I sit and ponder
my sad formative years,
I know they hold me back
lock me in my own fears.
Now it's time to let go
to fly high and free,
now it's time to accept
what these things did to me.
It was never my fault
although that's how it seemed,
I beat myself up daily
my worth I still demeaned.
I must learn to love me
accept the things you did,
tell myself its alright
for I was just a kid.
No way to stop you then
but I can take charge now,
out go all the bad dreams
I'll live my life somehow.
I'll write the bad things down
on a lantern today,
I'll light it so it burns
and takes bad thoughts away.
When I've let it all go
and it's burnt out in the sky,
my life will start that day
just watch and see me fly.
| Author Notes | The catharsis will be complete. Thank you to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Smouldering looks which turn my head
Tongue flicking lips no words are said
Eyes bore through my sensual core
Teasing, tantalise, I want more
Pulling me tightly into you
lust pours out from every sinew
You confuse my senses when you're near
My battered heart so full of fear
Fear of feelings which seem pure lust
Fear of your words I may not trust
How will I know just what this means?
Carnal pleasure? Desired dreams?
Do I accept that lust will suffice?
My hope of love gone in a trice?
Deep inside my worn out psyche
I do want love that's just for me
I shall hold on to lasting trust
love will find me, no room for lust.
By Jaq Cee
what a wondrous sight
resplendent in striking red
my daughter my life
| Author Notes | Now she is 21, how time flies. |
By Jaq Cee
I watch as your heart breaks
you struggle just to breathe
grief is a soul stealer
I've encountered that thief
I wish you'd never felt
that searing pain inside
it cuts you to the bone
tears your heart open wide
You feel so damn forlorn
like your world's blown apart
bestride lost hopes abyss
as your love does depart
I know how bad it feels
I've walked that road before
let me offer comfort
your hope I will restore
| Author Notes | Thank you to Google images. |
By Jaq Cee
She didn't lock her door,
did not foresee her plight.
The key she'd left unturned,
on that sad fateful night.
In he came to her abode,
with mayhem on his mind.
Sneaking silently about,
for what loot he could find
With stealth he looked around,
his mind was on the prize.
Much too late he looked down,
he couldn't believe his eyes.
Snarling teeth shone so bright,
drool bounced off his denim.
Right there and then he realised,
that things could get quite grim.
Trying to escape Cujo,
he's wrestled to the floor.
Thought foremost in his mind,
I WISH SHE'D LOOKED THAT DOOR!!
By Jaq Cee
Too many gifted people
to pick only the one.
Some write deep and dark
the others prefer fun
TammyGail, now there's a talent,
not oft' times found these days,
She weaves her silky metaphors,
as with her words she plays.
Earl of Oxford, our Ray,
he makes me smile so wide,
creating children's poems,
that are a fun-packed ride.
Rama Devi, the guiding light,
her words shine bright with peace,
her help has been phenomenal,
she puts me at my ease.
Jill Fuller's one strong girl,
her journey she has shared,
it hasn't been an easy write,
as her whole life she's bared.
ElizaM, so wonderful,
has helped me many times,
her writing is so gifted,
whether it's free verse or rhymed.
Now you see how this task,
is hard for me to do,
I can't pick only one,
nor even only two.
| Author Notes | I may get splinters from sitting on the fence :) |
By Jaq Cee
What would I do for one last caress?
To feel your arms encircle me.
Your kiss still lingers sweetly.
My love, you are now free.
Slow the lifeblood ebbs.
Eyes so dim, dead.
Thoughts of you,
in tears
shed.
| Author Notes | Thanks to Ray for his help with the end edit. :) |
By Jaq Cee
| Author Notes | Thanks to Magickalgraphics for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
I don't like tomatoes,
they make me feel quite ill,
the inside is so slobbery,
that makes me feel worse still.
Seeds mixed in with gooey stuff,
makes me want to puke,
people sneak them in some foods,
but I make sure to look.
Whether you like Oxheart ones,
maybe Cherry is your pleasure,
please don't serve them up to me,
I've never liked them, EVER!
| Author Notes | A little lighthearted poem. Thanks to Google images for the picture. :) Jaq x |
By Jaq Cee
You used and abused me from the start,
Oh how you loved to play the part.
Mind so twisted, tongue of lies,
Never seen, your disguise.
Narcissistic man,
You killed my soul.
Stole my life,
Took my,
All.
By Jaq Cee
Apostles sent forth in fervent
Prayer
Obscuring cruel taunts from
Satans lair
Teaching Gods love to many nations
Leading us to righteous
Exaltations
By Jaq Cee
Rotting, fetid flesh
undead corpses roam our streets
Halloween begins
By Jaq Cee
Darkness rents space in my mind,
it's always cruel and so unkind.
I feel it's tendrils curling round,
strangled thoughts; beaten down.
Oft' times I've said, 'begone dark muse',
just to wonder, if my words I'll lose.
So stay with me my nefarious friend,
prompting, pushing, until life ends.
By Jaq Cee
I scratch my head and chew my pen,
and wrack my brain all over again.
The words won't come; they're so elusive,
My mind awash, thoughts inconclusive.
I sit and think 'til midnight hour,
while in my mind ideas still cower.
They hide from me yet still I try
to capture them as they fly by.
I go to bed and soon to sleep
where, in my dreams, ideas leap.
I'm half-awake and have to write
the poems visiting by night.
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Google images, once again. :)
Thank you so much to Rama Devi for her editing suggestions. :) x |
By Jaq Cee
you watch me crying
sobbing I take the knife
peeling onions is hard
By Jaq Cee
Love lost, lovelorn
My heart is broken
Now you are gone
My love, my life
| Author Notes | Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Is your inkling just a blot?
Or wondrous poem fair?
Is it just an ugly smudge?
Or does it tell a story clear?
Does your ink scream artistic bliss?
Or a mass of seething envy?
Does it shout out filth and mire?
Or just to those who think it pervy?
Do you censor every verse?
Or just each sculpted line?
Do you draw red pen through words?
Or just those you deem a crime?
Censorship is wrong you know,
in every shape and form.
It dulls the senses so much so,
mediocrity becomes the norm.
| Author Notes |
What may be unacceptable to one person may be acceptable to many more.
Like the Rorschach ink blot test, we don't all see the same. Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
What do you see when you look at me,
a hopeful spirit still young and free?
Or a life-weary soul haggard and drawn,
pondering daily where her youth has gone?
| Author Notes | I always wonder why, when my head tells me I'm not old, my body kicks in to dispel the lie. |
By Jaq Cee
golden brown leaves fall
blanket forest and river
perfect autumn scene
By Jaq Cee
Icy breath
Creates a chill
Even with the sun
My love is cold
A frosty tear
Is falling
Delicately down
Enduring winter
Natures own Ice Maiden
| Author Notes | A poem describing winter as an Ice Maiden. |
By Jaq Cee
Night of the sharp knives,
Oh, how cruel you are.
Savagely you twist and turn
like a tornado in full flight.
Your razor sharp blades
tear through silenced tomes,
whose voicebox now lies ravaged.
| Author Notes | People fought wars for freedom of speech. Any censorship is a backward step. |
By Jaq Cee
Slithering, seething,
spineless wordsmith,
with knife drawn not pen.
Using backs as papyrus scroll,
heavily bloodied not inked.
My reading light will dimmer be,
If your words are censored.
Disclose and be doomed?
| Author Notes | TG inspired. Thanks to google images for picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Chains around my damaged heart.
In place to stop it breaking?
So much to take, amasing pain!
My life is there for the taking.
Ripped and shredded, torn asunder,
Bleeding piece of meat still beats.
Unsure rhythm slows and ceases,
Losing life as beats retreat.
Cold, hard chains can't save my heart
Only aids its sad demise.
Tighter now drawn so much closer,
Killed by hating, cheating lies!!
| Author Notes | Edited thanks to Earl of Oxford for your gracious help. |
By Jaq Cee
You died for us all,
so we could be free.
The saddest thing is,
we were too blind to see.
Our lives didn't change,
mistakes stayed the same.
We gave up the chance,
to eradicate our blame.
You gave us free will,
that we didn't always nurture.
It was used and abused,
detrimental to our future.
We now live in sad times,
where the God-less hold court.
It could have been different,
had we used some forethought.
| Author Notes | Just a wee ditty that came to me whilst watching the daily news. What a horrible world we live in at times. |
By Jaq Cee
Where do you go to my special one?
When you float off into repose.
What is it that concerns you?
Is it us you think of?
I hope that is so.
Into your dreams
we go, just
you and
I
By Jaq Cee
Going round in circles, ever they decrease,
Pulled into a vortex, never finding peace.
It's dark in here, let me out, can't take any more,
Feeling my way blindly, seeking that open door.
They tell me things get better, talk it's for the best,
Why then are my thoughts chaotic? Never do they rest.
This 'cancer's' killing me, in some pernicious way,
Slowly, deftly infiltrating, it has me as it's prey.
Years spent talking takes it's toll, having awful thoughts,
Day's are long and very dark, no anger at my lot.
Still I feel I should have known, should not have let it be,
Mentally beating myself each day, laid bare for all to see.
Tell me where I go from here? I want it all to end,
I need some respite from this hell, from having to pretend.
The happy, chatty cheery me, is just a sad facade,
Inside I'm dying, failing to see, it isn't me that's bad.
Darkness falls more frequently now, no light is seeping through,
Pulling my hair, sobbing each day not knowing what to do.
I want to end this torment now, help me through this storm,
My eyes are weary, spirit's weak, a heart that's truly torn.
The one bright light within my life, sometimes I cannot see,
My beautiful daughter, so full of life but getting more like me.
This scares me so, no one can see how this becomes a thorn,
To think she'll end up just like me, sad, dejected and forlorn.
I have to make those changes now, I need to find the way,
To pull myself back up and fight, progressing day by day.
This is one battle I have to win, I need to see it through,
Thoughts of leaving this world behind, must not ever ensue.
| Author Notes |
This is about how helpless and worthless I felt. Went into therapy and bringing up the distant past for the first time ever sent me into a depression. I knew that I had to fight it for my daughters sake. There has only ever been me and her. I'm happy to say it's better now.
I used 'cancer' to describe depression as I see it as a similar thing, one ravages the mind, the other the body. Thanks to Google images for the picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Smile sweet
My darling child.
You completed my world,
Gave my life meaning.
Bringing me much joy,
Your journey starts now.
Embrace each new step.
The world will love you,
As do I.
Smile Sweet
My darling child
| Author Notes | Just a few words to my daughter to let her know how precious she is as she get's ready to start her own life journey. Only 13 months until she get's married. :) xx |
By Jaq Cee
Twisting, turning, curling with spite,
Violent winds rotate in mad flight.
Pulling, tugging, hauling out trees,
Winds screeching loud with manic glee.
Carnage cascades down our silent streets,
Wreckage occurs while scared people weep.
Tornado, gustnado, dust devil or twister,
Whichever it is, it will be your worst nightmare.
By Jaq Cee
Throwing in the towel now, it's time to go;
You thought I was coping, you weren't to know.
I had you all fooled, it really wasn't hard;
Last throw of the dice, last turn of the card.
All I ever wanted but never had a chance,
Was at least to compete in life's wonderful dance.
How could you know what possessed my troubled mind?
Hidden for years, now I must leave it behind.
These sad lonely thoughts, all consuming, oppressive,
The Devil works with my mind, he's obsessive.
All I ever wanted but never had the chance,
Was at least to compete in life's wonderful dance.
Sharp bladed knives, these thoughts shred my mind,
Tears fall like hard rain with rivers to find.
Spiraling downwards, falling so fast,
Quicker and quicker now, back to my past.
All I ever wanted but never had a chance,
Was at least to compete in life's wonderful dance.
"Life is for the living", people always profess,
Never understood it, I have to confess.
'Living' means one thing to you, to me another,
Flailing blindly through 'life', eyes always covered.
All I ever wanted but never had a chance,
Was at least to compete in life's wonderful dance.
I feel it's time to check out, go on my merry way;
My daughter wipes my tears away, thoughts start to sway.
Roles in reverse, as my child comforts me,
My reason for living may yet set me free.
All I ever wanted but never had the chance,
Was at least to compete in life's wonderful dance.
| Author Notes |
Thanks to Google images for the picture.
Many thanks to Rama Devi helping with the flow of the poem. Many blessings my friend. :) Jaq x |
By Jaq Cee
Darkened night, jump with fright.
Bats in flight, scary sight.
By Jaq Cee
Falling into deep sleep,
gently now, don't hurry.
Let not those bad dreams,
cause you to worry.
Lay your head down now,
close your weary eyes.
Let slumber take you,
by sudden surprise.
Visions they come again,
your mind is so full.
No control over them,
there's no limit, nor rule.
Your dreams should be happy,
or tender and sublime.
Thoughts of sunny moments,
made in some other time.
Dreams are our memories,
that visit while asleep.
Cherish them, love them,
forever to keep.
By Jaq Cee
sun glints on iced stage
as people glide to and fro
pleasure fills my self
| Author Notes | Thanks to Old Redeye for the gorgeous picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Too much hurt, abundant anger,
broken bodies recklessly strewn,
facing up to dangerous strangers,
mental images roughly hewn.
Nightmares constantly permeate,
fears of dying plague me now,
thoughts of peace our minds create,
that warring factions disallow.
Aching arms and weary feet,
eyes so raw with unshed tears,
heart breaking with every beat,
gut-wrenching screams fill my ears.
War is just the governments way,
of blinding us from the truth,
"We have to save the people" they say,
but where the Hell's the proof!!
This hatred of our fellow men,
forced upon us during wars,
an emotion alien to our ken,
manufactured by those lying whores.
| Author Notes |
"If we don't end war, war will end us".
H. G. Wells |
By Jaq Cee
Dark, purulent, festering soul.
Oh how I wonder daily,
on what do you dine.
How do you survive?
Do you suck one's inner life?
You truly are Satan's spawn.
Sinful spirit, you lie dormant
until a glorious glimmer of hope
opens itself to your murk.
Then you pounce as a feral feline
silently sucking the good.
Feasting on hopes and dreams,
sending them forever hell-bound,
Into perennial darkness.
By Jaq Cee
My ability to care
has abandoned me.
Totally deserted
I am all at sea.
My feelings did hurt
at times so bad.
I used to feel happy
then sometimes so sad.
I'm bereft of emotion
which has now departed,
I can't cry for my father
I'm so broken-hearted.
People all around me
with tears in their eyes,
watching and waiting
for mine to actualise.
Will it ever return?
Can my guilt be set free?
Has my ability to care
truly abandoned me?
| Author Notes |
My Dad has just had cardiac surgery and I just feel numb.
Actualise (British spelling)Thanks ro Leighcryan for the beautiful drawing. |
By Jaq Cee
Dear God hear my plea,
made with heavy heart,
please listen close to me,
as my needs I must impart.
Help my Dad through this spell,
his health has downward gone,
in hospital he must now dwell,
until major surgery's done.
His heart has let him down you see,
his breathing is laboured also,
we need you now to set him free,
of pain, of fear, of tears that flow.
I do believe you hear me God,
my feelings you won't maroon,
please don't take him from us Lord,
even though he's in late bloom.
| Author Notes | Thank you to MinoYasue for a beautiful picture. |
By Jaq Cee
Seductive cuisine
Try not to lick my plate clean
Temptation supreme
By Jaq Cee
Ethereal belle
Beauty radiates from you
Celestial being
| Author Notes | We all have one, but some don't 'feel' them. |
By Jaq Cee
Gruesome grovelling goat boy
He of the cloven hooves
Horns adorn misshapen head
Above eyes of burning coals.
Dragging carcasses under
Into the darkness below
Inferno licks broken bodies
Hades dark lights bright.
Burning flesh blistering red
Screams split dark night
Demons dance maniacally
Claiming another lost soul.
Legions of those forsaken
Caught in vortex of evil
Spiralling ever downwards
Into the cesspit of Hell.
Skin-stripped skulls lament
Of unrepented depraved lives
Writhe in pain, they agonise
As they straddle Satan's pyre.
| Author Notes | British spellchecker used. Some words differ. Thanks to google images for the graphic. As always please feel free to critique, all constructive criticism welcomed. :) Jaq x |
By Jaq Cee
so callous were you
no clear sign
you left
goal attained
my life has gone
By Jaq Cee
The crowds gaily gathered,
watching with sick delight.
Waiting for the gory show,
drinking in bloody ambiance.
Flailing arms, faltering steps,
knowing the end has come.
Out to the baying masses,
kicking and screaming aloud.
The hangman's noose,
knotted and tightened.
Sways as if a drunken man,
awaits the neck it has won.
Black hood encloses head,
fear engulfs his dark soul.
Grotesquely turning torso,
end of a rancid life.
Body hanging limp and loose,
swinging silently to and fro.
Hypoxic and hypothermic,
brain-dead, clammy and cold.
By Jaq Cee
Enchantment abounds
My heart rhythmically pounds
At last, love I've found
By Jaq Cee
The door slammed, echoing down the long hall! You could hear the reverberations along the dark, dank, dusty corridors. How did it come to this? Why have I ended up here? What did I do that was so wrong?
The smell of mould and damp in my nostrils was putrid, I wanted to vomit. Tears were searing my eyes and the bile was rising in my throat. Dear Lord, help me!!
I wanted to get on my knees and pray. However, the fetid puddles on the stone floor made that impossible. Nevertheless I did want to pray, like I hadn't for so many years, since childhood really. I still remember those enforced Sunday sojourns, when the whole family was marched to the Chapel. We were scrubbed to within an inch of our lives. I remember the brush used to scour our skin, can still feel it mentally purge our sins. We had to be clean, none of the Devil's dirt on our blessed bodies. Anyway, I digress, those days were a walk in the park to where I am now. Where did it all go so horribly wrong?
We met over the internet. He was 'perfect'. So loving, attentive and so very Christian. He put me at my ease immediately. The persona he had built up was a dangerous, deceitful facade. He sucked me in, made me believe in him. He was a consummate liar and total psychopath. I was in too deep before I realised any of this. From the first physical meeting he played me like an expensive Stradivarius. Gently gliding over my fragile self-esteem and plucking at my heart strings. Hook, line and sinker, I was caught. I drank in every compliment like I was thirsting for his validation. In no time at all, I went from wanting to be with him, to needing to be with him. I must have been so emotionally bereft. An easy target indeed. All I wanted was for someone to see me, for how I am, to totally envelop me in pure, unadulterated love. For a few wonderful months, that's how I saw the relationship.
Suddenly I was being castigated for the tiniest wrongdoing. Undeservedly I was also lambasted for past relationships. I had opened up to him about previous partners. The thought that I had this open, honest and wonderful man to tell all my well hidden secrets to was absolute heaven. Little did I know that these same things were going to be the stick that beat me down. Down to depths that I had never plumbed before. I accepted this treatment, nay welcomed it! In my warped mind, if he was this upset about previous liaisons then he must really love me. He needed, not wanted, needed me to sleep with someone whilst he watched, then he could trust me again. If I showed him everything I had done sexually before we met, with another man, then I would have proved how much I loved him. It wasn't too much to ask. Was it? He'd been good to me, took me into his house and life, shown me what 'real' love was. This was just one small symbol of proof that I was grateful to him. Reparation for some perceived wrong. For the life of me, in my more lucid moments, I couldn't fathom what I'd done that had ruined the dream. It had been shattered into tiny little pieces.
Deep down in my psyche I knew what he demanded of me was wrong. A kernel of courage started to grow. I made excuses to put the dreaded deed off. Each day I tried to grab onto this sliver of bravado. How long I could delay the disgusting act was doubtful. Eventually it dawned on him that I was not going to do this willingly. I need to be punished, brought back into line. Maybe a stint in solitary would change my mind. Make me more amenable.
The door slammed, echoing down the long hall...
| Author Notes | I have never written a short story before, but had fun with this. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did. All critiques gratefully received. |
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