"I Lost the Stars, I Lost the Moon,
I Lost the Sun"
Chapter Number One
(Hell, Ain't it a Shame?)
Written on February 5th, 2020
By Doctor Ricky 1024
And Jason Richard Smrkovsky
Copyright �© Fanstory 2020
'All Rights Reserved'

'The night with cold, extremely cold, and my bone's felt old, extremely old!'
...
'Twilight laughed at the Moon that sad, sad, night as the Stars twinkled by.'
'And, somehow, somewhere, all the Planets in the Universe would cry!'
...
"Morning awaited for the Sun to approve this day."
"As Blackened Clouds passed over their way."
"And, the Coffin's lid suddenly opened?"
As Satan said...
...
'Ricky, why don't you just jump Right in?'
"As Sin takes a stand and wondered...
'Why oh why man?'
'Don't you understand Ricky?'
'Its now your time!'
'Come join the party!'
...
'It might be a little warm down here but the greetings will be Hardy!'
"And Satan added...
'Just f****** jump Right in!'
"And, for the moment, that was the last I saw of sin!'
...
'My Journey below...
'Yes, I had no choice...
'Suicide by Seven Inch Serated Steak Knife!'
(I was the "Main Course," of course!)
'But, you know why?'
'My mind took a blow...
'And, I lost the glow!'
...
'Bring Two Gold Coins...
Suggested the Grim Reaper of Death!
(My traveling partner)
'Over my eyes...
'Is it any wonder?'
'I was in for a Big Surprise?'
End of Chapter One
...
Chapter Number Two
"My Day in Hell!"
Written on February 6th, 2020

"And, the Grim Reaper said..
'Last stop all off this is Hell!'
'See the old man at the gate!'
...
'The View along the way?'
'Was quite atrocious!'
'And, although dead, I was kind of not enjoying this obnoxious odor.'
(Like the smell of burning flesh!)
...
'Well reviewer, sit a spell.'
'And, learn with me!'
'And, perhaps that's why they call Hell...
"The Last Resting Place of Death!"
...
'Oh Barbara H.'
'Look there's the old man!'
'I wonder what he wants?'
...
''Got meeze gold coins?'
'Meeze need two gold coins to allow you through into Satan's Lair.'
...
'Look man, I worked hard for those Demonic Gold pieces!'
'And, that's all the damn money I got left in the world!'
'And, I need them to tip the Cabaret dancers in Delilah's Den!'
'Amen!'
I Replied.
...
'Geez Louise!'
'Its hard enough trying to make a living down here anymore with people like you!'
'Bitch, Bitch, F****** Bitch!'
States the old man.
...
'So, we make a bargain and I give him just the one gold coin.'
'Why?'
'I desperately need to get in to Hell and have a conversation with my old pal Satan.'
'Been too long waiting!'
End of Chapter Two.

Chapter Number Three
"Within the Madness of Pure Insanity!'
Written on February 6th, 2020

'As the old and creepy gate creaks open, I enter inside.'
'And, the first thing I noticed, besides the stench again, is bodies!'
'F****** bodies everywhere?'
'Im not sure if they are alive or dead?'
Note: "There are noticeable posted signs with just one word on them."
...
'Strange, maybe these bodies everywhere?'
Pause...
'These have to be dead bodies?'
'Everywhere?'
'I decide to check out the one leaning against the rotting trunk of a tree.'
...
'Oh my God!'
'The smell is so bad!'
'It's so pure right here!'
I thought.
"Indulge!'"
...
'So, I grabbed a piece of the tree.'
'A sizable, broken, branch and give this thing just a poke.'
'What the f***!'
'Can't a dead body get some sleep even in Hell?'
...
'A little shaken...
'A little stirred...
'A little dry...
'I figure that was a mistake with a tear in my eye.'
'I felt for a moment some compassion for the poor thing.'
...
'Suddenly, I hear these weird and high pitched scream?'
'And, as I turn around.'
'She's got the Axe!'
'With blood, red, eyes and the composure of somebody recently institutionalized.'
'And, straight out of s F***** Nightmare, she lunges!'
...
'I've had training in gorrila warfare when I did two stints in Nam.'
'I quickly disarm it and as she now comes at me with these cat claw like nails...
'I F****** have had enough!'
...
'I grabbed the first weapon like object that I can find and stab her directly in the middle of her forehead!'
'As she succumbs, face down with her date of fate?'
'Anything good here in this world?'
'I question my sanity?'
...
'Without a nod of hesitation or thought of resititstion, an odd, colored, blood, flow...
'She immediately pours out all her effort and fury on me with...
"That damned Axe again?'
'And, she comes this time as if to make it worth it!'
'And, again winds up face first.'
...
'Taking no chances, I grab the axe out of her right hand and plunge it deeply into her back!'
'And, with a sigh of relief, I continue on my way.'
End of Chapter Number Three

Chapter Number Four
"I See Dead Things?
Written on February 7th, 2020
(In Hell!)

'After that ordeal with Molly Hatchet, I switched paths from the right to the left!'
(I learned that it's safer the last time I went to Hell!)
'So, now I'm following the Yellow Brick Road and im off to see the Wizard of Oz, or I mean Satan!:
...
'The views are a little different here along with the noxious odor.'
'After taking in about an hour of the scenery, I see a person who's just sitting on a large Stone on the side of the path.'
'I introduce myself and he says...
'Okay.'
'And I think to myself...
'Well this is the first victim here, I mean fodder, thats still breathing and not a psychopath or maniac.'
...
'He tells me his name is Pete and as far as he can understand, the reason he was there was from a severe head injury.'
(He thinks his wife did him in because he was cheating on her!)
...
'So, we strike a bargain to hang together and I find out that he had a couple questions for Satan too.'
'You know all the usual stuff like, 'What am I doing here?'
'Did I deserve this?'
'How do I get out of here?'
'Am I alive am I dead?'
...
'It Take about six hours to finally get to another entrance but this time it's not a gate?'
"Blessed"
'Great I think?'
'Another warning sign!'
...
'I'll take that as a joke.'
I tell Pete.
'There's some kind of device outside that looks like a very large, brass, knocker?'
'As I attempt to move it and make some kind of a entrance door bell ring?'
'The damn thing shocks me!'
'What the F***!'
'Pete says...
'Let me try and it does the same thing to him!'
'That's what I noticed the second
Sign!'
"Insert"
...
'I think that means to put my last gold coin in the slot?'
'So, I have no choice and I'll be penniless but maybe the demon dancers here don't require tips?'
...
'The massive door slowly opens acceptance?'
'I think to myself where did the gold coin go?'
'It doesn't matter we got bigger fish to fry and hopefully it won't be us!'
End of Chapter Number Four
Conclusion

Chapter Number Five
"I Lost the Moon, I Lost the Stars,
I Lost the Sun"
(I Came Undone)
Written on February 7th, 2020
(In Hell!)
By Doctor Ricky 1024
'As we both finally passed through the entrance to Hell.'
'There is another sign I noticed which stated the one word...
"DEATH!"
...
'Hey Ricky boy?'
'Yes, Peter.'
'The last ones on you!'
'Because, I'm getting the Hell out of Hell, loser!'
'After I see the "Red Man!"
...
"Time is the "Window Pane of Life."
"Visions of past memories and moments of Jay and Pain!"
(Theology 47.18)
...
'I noticed other more recent examples, the closer me and Peter got.'
'And, it seems as if I should be expecting the worst?'
'The most recent example was when Peter added his thoughts.'
(An example of how he was leaving Hell and his words were slurring)
...
'He seems to be succumbing the effects on Hell and the blasphemy of its existence!'
...
'I don't know what the f*** walking around down here with a "Penhead like you Ricky?'
'And, to make matters worse?'
'He started acting Nutty!'
'Id watch out Ricky, if I was you!'
States Peter.
...
'As the trail split again?'
'I went to the left side but Peter went to the right, never looking back!'
'An antidote to be found by the Grim Reaper?'
End of Chapter Number Five
...
Chapter Number Six
"I'm Coming Home?"
(Conclusion)
Later.
24.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Amazing Artist, ''simonka' And, their Incredible Picture Entitled, "Heaven and Hell"

"For Just a Single Drop of Tear"
(A Dedication)
Written on February 6th, 2020
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory 2020
'All Rights Reserved'

'For Just a Single Drop of Tear.'
'I would try my very best to make this World's Pains disapear.'
'And, please God with that Drop?''
'And, with Your Privilege a Single of Tear...
...
'Within the Presence of Man...
'If You could ever Imagine...
'If You could ever Understand...
'This Unending Pain from a river of my past Fears and Shames...
'I now call out Your Name.'
...
'For Just a Single Drop of Tear?'
'God, I would do the very best I can...
'To reduce Satan's Evil of Grasp...
'Upon humanities very, last...
'Very vast Hope...
'At the end of our Ropes...
'End the Suffering's of Man.'
'Pleasr God, try and Understand?'
...
'For Just a Single Drop of Tear?'
'A Single drop of Miseries Appears!'
'So be it so...
'So be it cast...
'God help me end these Countless Suffering's...
'That seem to always last...
...
'For Just a Single Drop of Your Tears.'
'And, God only one...
'One and only Single Drop of Tear from Above?'
...
'I could end this Everlasting Shane.'
'And, I would do my very best to reach out and stop Satan's Grim Grasp.'
'And, game...
'As I now call out Your Name...
...
'For Just a Single Drop of Tear.'
'I could reach up deep within my Soul...
'And, help all of those affected...
'From the very Young...
'To the very Old.'
'And finally, after all that has been said...
...
'After all that hath been done...
'For just one chance...
'For just a second of Your Time...
'Within all good reason...
'Within all good rhyme...
...
'And, as I reach deep within my Broken of Heart?'
'If You God would allow me the Special Privilege to see my only Son again?'
'Yes, for only one moment in Time...
'With all of my Sufferings...
'And, with all of Your Blessings...
'And, with all of the powers that You have bestowed upon me.'
'And, with this pain from my pen...
'Please God, make my Unending misery's stop?'
"For Just a Single *Drop?"
Approximate Word Count:409.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this talented Artist. 'GaliaG' And, their Incredible Picture Entitled, "A tear"

Chapter 20
Wandering Aimlessly through My.

By Ricky1024

"Wandering Aimlessly through My
Broken Heart"
Written on October 26th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

I've been wandering, wandering as lost as can be?
Blue Bleeding Heart?
Can't seem to find my way out of my Misery?
Do as I may, try As It seems?
Crowded and clouded with Nightmarish means.
Dear Lord God above where is the Love?
...
Signs now appear but it's still isn't quite yet clear?
As which path for me?
Each time it again leads back to my suffering Misery?
...
Grasping and Boney claws Reach Out to grasp me!
Enclose and enclasp me?
Mummified in Deathly Screams!
Scream's voices unknown to me?
...
Dear Lord God will the Gloom ever pass?
Feelings of Shame and Fear of the past!
Tearing and tearing me apart!
"Wandering Aimlessly through My Broken...
*Heart"

Author Notes

*Heart: noun /heart/ 1. major organ controlling the blood flow through the Human Body. 2. Emotional pump theccore of a Human Beings existance. "My Heart shall always and forever be Broken." Note: 171,556 hours, and 39 minutes have now passed since April 1st, 2003. 19 years, 6 months, 25 days ago... 234 months... 1021 weeks... 7,148 days... 171,533 hours... 10,292,021 minutes And, 617,521,285 endless seconds of consciousness in flowing tears... For all those past and wasted years? ... Note: The loss of your child? (no matter how old the child) Yes, is a parent's Worst Nightmare. And, it is unfortunatly the Gift that continues to give and give and give. Yes, as long as you continue to live and live and live? ... To learn more about, 'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Simply contact my dearest friend. Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W with "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, . Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1. ... Jason Richard Smrkovsky November 5th, 1984~ March 31st, 2003. ... Note: As of this past nineteen years. April 1st, 2022? Three out of four Human Beings fortunately still walk this Earth with my son Jasons Heart and Lungs, along with his two Kidneys. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this talented Artist, 'Annalinda' And, Anna's Incredible Picture Entitled. "Blue Bleeding Heart"

Chapter 21
Shadowed Nights

By Ricky1024

"Shadowed Nights"
Written on October 27th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Shadowed Nights
Day bled gone
Life's no more now
Than a long gone
Soured song
Where do I belong?
...
Shadowed Nights
Nightmares no dreams
Trick No Treat
Halloween?
...
Shadowed Shadowed Nights
Cloudy days
Coffin Lids Open
Going back home
...
Nights
Lonely coated tears
Washing away but
All
Those
Wasted
Years

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Incredible Writer, 'cleo85' And, Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Morning Shadows"

Chapter 22
Captured Moments

By Ricky1024

"Captured Moments"
(Of Grief)
Written on November 3rd, 2022
By Doctor Ricky1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Stepping into the Passages,
Long, Gone, Wrong, and past...
Embracing images that never seem to Last?
Feeling those, Feelings, never come?
Dear God?
What hath I done?
...
Slipping into the Passages,
Of the Unknown?
Folding Emotions...
Long Blown and gone wrong?
...
Long Gone?
But God tis this my Life?
First lost the only son...
Followed shortly with the only wife.
Filtered Heart, Broken-Hearts, Discrete and excrete.
Broken Forever and ever apart.
No more shalleth this Love part?
...
Graven-Willowed Spiritual.
Crying out with all my Might!
Doing my best to Fight the Flight?
Trying to get this finally right.
Hell bent this Lament?
*Captured Moments"

Author Notes

*Captured Moments" 1. thoughts, images, pictures, taken in the past. Note: This is based on a Parent's worst Nightmare the loss of child. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this talented Artist, 'seshadri_screenivasan' And, his Incredible Picture Entitled, "It's a cold, cold, day"

Chapter 23
7,157 Days Past

By Ricky1024

"7,157 Days Past"
Written on November 4th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

It's now on this exact and current time
Precisely to this second 7,157 days.
Days that are here to stay.
Days that never seem to drift away?
Days to hat are somehow hard to bear.
Days that I must now share.
...
It's now been 19 years, seven month, and three days.
Days and years drifting off into Ever-Endless Tears.
Yes, months upon months 235 months.
The calenders pages turned.
All those wasted moments now burned.
...
171,757 weeks with hardly a chance.
A chance to properly sleep?
10, 305,530 minutes hath passed.
Minutes of uncertainty.
618,331,840 seconds gone long bye?
Tears that won't stop that go low from my eyes.
"7,157 Days"
That my only Son had to be taken away.that not he but Eye died.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'willie' And, Willie's Incredible Picture Entitled, "May Days"

Chapter 24
I'm So, So, Sorry My Jay

By Ricky1024

"I'm So, So, Sorry My Jay"
Written on November 6th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Dear and My Only Son Jay,
I'm so, so, sorry on this November and beautiful Sabbath Sunday.
And, I know that I'll be okay.
Okay because I can still feel you.
Yes, in "Our Own Special Way"
...
I tried to no longer cry for you.
Oh yes because I know that you don't want that for me to do.
I just want to let you know now.
Know on this Sabbath Sunday.
Yes, that I'm extremely close to satisfying that promise.
Yes, that promise of me to you.
On April Fool's Day 2003.
...
That flickering candle?
Yes, and way back then?
Yes, is now?
"A Raging Forest Fire"
Fire of Amens
...
Yes and, my mind is always raging.
Yes, and paging with each and every beautiful word in a poem.
Yes, that you give to me!
...
Hundreds upon hundred's of
Thousands!
Yes, that you send.
My Buddy Friend.

****
"Jason's Letter Above"
Written on November 5th, 2022
By Jason Richard Smrkovsky

Dear Dad,
Thanks for the letter.
Just got it yesterday on my Birthday!
And, how I do miss all of You!
And,I know it's going on two decades since we were last together.
And, it's too...
Breaking my Heart in two.
But that's even okay because I settled in nicely.
Nicely since you lastly wrote above to me.
...
The Sky's such a Brilliant Azure Blue and I sleep into the most comfortable cloud!.
I drink from the Heavenly fountain and it keeps me and everybody else looking the same!
Yes, the same as when we were below.
(And this I just want you to know)
...
And dad, I'm also a Peer Mediator.
Mediating now just like I did when I was a child in sixth grade!
Why?
Well because even Angels above can have discrepancies too!
And yes I did marry an Angel above but my Angel below?
Named Angel.
Please tell her I still miss her too!
...
I get Pay for View on my Heavenly TV cloud too!
And, last night, that's right!
Just like you
I just watch the WWE Wrestling event all the way over in Saudi Arabia!
...
So dad, even though things are so much different above.
Yes, they're actually pretty close to the same below!
(this I want you to know)
And, Happy Belated Birthday to you Daddy!
And, I still and will always Love you!
Jason Richard Smrkovsky
PS: Your Buddy Friend!
...
"Buddy Friend"
Written on April 14th, 2022
By Jason Richard Smrkovsky

I'm not here dad but I'm not far ..
I'm in a beautiful place ..
A Special place not far as a Star
You'll feel this place.
Yes, just take a moment...
You'll see.
And, then you will know.
Just where I'll be!

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Annalinda' And, Anna's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Fanstory Logo"

Chapter 25
Sustaining My Lost Souls

By Ricky1024

"Sustaining My Lost Souls"
Written on November 9th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

In Christ Faith and Perfect Hope.
I must insist that I'm now at the End of my Rope!
I must now part Forevermore.
For this Broken-Heart...
This Only and Lonely Heart?
Tis now never.
Yes, all my past Beasties are now as one.
...
God, I'm Gathering at Your Altar.
My life tis mostly done.
God, let Your work now begun?
Begun yes, for it's been too, too, long.
Damned long.
So, let the Shedding of the Sinning begin?
Scrape away at this Sin!
...
I saw recall those long ago and "Crippling Effects!"
So, let the Soul Gatherings begin!
For now as I am forced to reflect.
Yes, and no longer will I pretend!
Yes, no longer will I protect!
Protect those "Core Beliefs!"
...
So, God let the cleansing begin?
For there must be an End!
And, no more shall I protect and pretend!
The Amen.
...
Dear Lord God above.
Can and if You can forgive us?
Yes, for I am no longer capable of returning Your Love.
...
For, I'm lost and I cheat!
And, I want more than my fair share!
My bucket list is filled!
Yes, with "My Envious Greed!"
And, I no longer care
And, I'm no longer there!
...
I've lost my way and no more or
No longer can there be?
God, no longer do I pray!
God, for I only wish to be!
Yes, subject me now to all Your Pains and Miseries this day!
And Lord yes!
Dear God give them all now to me!
...
For All My Souls have forgotten!
Forgotten and lost their ways!
Yes, and are now only rotten!
Rotten to the very core!
And, how much longer do I need to feel this way?
God, and it can't keep going on this way anymore?
...
Now, come what Shalleth.
Now, come what Willeth.
Now, come what Mayeth?
Bring us all back together?
Together in Your House again?
...
For no more shall we pretend!
For no more shall we be cursed?
Yes cursed by the Devil indeed!
Lord God, can't You now see?
See it now as I present it and bleed!
But maybe with Your Forgiveness there can be an End?
Yes, to my Crudeness?
...
Note: We all need to repent on occasion.
Yes, and attend each and every Sabbath Sunday.
Yes, for the Sacrament awaits and let the cleansing to begin?
Begin with this Testimony.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this talented Artist and Incredible Writer, 'Doctor Ricky 1024' His Incredible Picture Entitled, "Jesus Christ at the Latter-Day Saint Church of Jesus Christ "

Chapter 26
Re-Slipping On My Heartstrings

By Ricky1024

"Re-Slipping On My Heartstrings"
(For Jay Squires)
Written on November 13th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

God I seem to.
To Be or Not to Be?
Again just always.
Always and Forever.
Yes, slipping!
And God, it's simple?
And, God it's quite plain!
Quite plain but Insane!
Slipping on My Heartstrings again!
...
Yes, again and again!
For Eye so lost my...
"Buddy Friend."
And God, do as I may?
Yes, and do as I must?
Where went out Trust?
...
Ashes to Ashes...
Dust to Dust?
Do as I can God.
Then why My God?
Tis this now my only job?
To moan Endlessly?
Then tis this why?
Tears always in my Eyes?
Why does it keeps happening?
Continuously to me?
God, can't You too not See?
Together Blind as we can Be?
Its Over and Over again for me!
...
God, You know I lost my Only Son.
My Only Jay on that Sad, Bad, of Day!
That's why this is so hard!
Hard again for me to Pray!
I cursed Your Son Endlessly
Endlessly but not because of Jay!
Because each and every day I Awake?
Each mourning that I still breathe?
That damned mourning?
Each morning won't leave me!
Alone to die in my Misery!!
...
So, and Yes.
I so lost my only friend.
And God?
God there can't be an End?
End of Me?
And there is no use complaining.
And, I know in this Broken Heart.
That it will Never End.
...
Yes!
How I am just Slipping!
Yes!
Always ever Slipping!
On My Heartstrings Again.
And God, as I keep on Slipping?
And God, as I keep on Tripping?
Slipping and Tripping Again and Again!
Tis this now my End?
No more time?
To make Amends?
...
And, I'm not kidding!
Should I say another series?
Series of Prayers?
Prayers of Amens?
Again?
...
Yes but now what's the Use?
There can't be no Excuse?
This is just constant and Horrifying Abuse!
Yes, It's just Depression!
All Regressing!
Constant Misery!
Haunting Ecstasy!
And Never Ending Pains!
Running constantly down!
My cheeks from the eyes.
Shot directly!
A Barrage of Satanic Heroin!
Heroin into my veins!
Addiction remains!

"Eyes of My Window Pains!"
Pangs and Panes clearly!
Ever near me!
Just washing over me!
Tidal Wave!
Please turn the Page?
Stop this Rage?
God, is this the way it's supposed to always be?
...
Maybe if on this Horrid of my Quest?
Perhaps as I suffer You'll Buffer?
And, end this Endless Quest?
I do now promise to do my very, very, Best?
No longer Naughty but Nice?
Can You please?
Break this Tomb of Ice?
...
And, when or if I awaken again?
I'll finally be welcome?
Yes, to that Special place?
If I may insist?
*Special Place of Bliss?"
With my **Buddy Friend?

Author Notes

*Special Place of Bliss: 1. HEAVEN 2. VALHALLA 3. CELESTIAL KINGDOM ... Note: In order to achieve his entrance. We must first follow. And, live By God's Word. Not just each and every Sabbath Sunday. But each and every day. ... **Buddy Friend" (A Message from my Son Jason) Written on April 14th, 2003 By Richard Edward Smrkovsky and Jason Richard Smrkovsky ... I'm not here right now... Yes, but I'm not far? I'm in a place.... A Special place. Not far as a Star? ... Now you'll feel this place. Just take but a moment... Yes, you'll see! And then and only then... You will now know. Just Where I'll Be? ... Note: One week later. I would receive a letter in the mail. (the first of six letters to come) Yes, from two men who received my son Jason's organ's. ... Chaz from Philadelphia Pennsylvania. Yes, wrote first but not of his pain but mine. Losing my Eighteen Year old son. Note: as of April 1st 2022. 19 years now. Three out of four human beings. (including one young woman) Yes, now in her early twenties. Are still alive! And off of all Anti-rejection medication. And, as my Only Son's Heart, along with my Only Son's lungs. Yes, are still doing their job! Because of God! And, within that man chest. That Unselfish and Incredible man! Simply named Chaz from Philadelphia. .. Note: In all the Heart Poetry that I've now written in my four books. here at Fanstory. I've learned that the Human Heart is not just a simple pump. Yes, that circulates millions of gallons of blood through-out our system in a Lifetime. It's also the core of our Emotions! The Center of US all! And, we must never forget those whom have given! Yes, given such a Rare and Beautiful Opportunity of Life! ... Yes, and to learn more? About this Amazing process of 'Organ-Tissue Donations? Simply contact my dearest friend. Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1. "And, the Beat Goes On!" Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this talented Artist, 'pfemd ' And, their Incredible and Amazing Picture Entitled, "Layers of the Heart"

Chapter 27
Misery Times Me

By Ricky1024

"Misery Times Me"
Written on November 13th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Here Eye go can't seem to let go?
Nights are littered with past Pretends.
Trying my best broken Amens.
Sullen waves wash continously over me.
God, I'm drowning!
Can't You see?
...
Here Eye now go lost my Way.
Strapped and Battered my Sail hath Blown Away?
The Stars at night just laugh at me.
Why OH Why Lord God?
Can't You yet Sea?
...
Here Eye Go back into the Depths of
Non-Reality.
Can't help myself God, ain't You see?
"Misery TIMES Me"

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administratior. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Renate-Bertodi' And, Renate's Incredible Picture Entitled, "miserable"

Chapter 28
Listen to My Pain?

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Listen to My Pain?"
Written on November 14th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Master of my Hope
Minister of my Misery
Commander of my Pain
Subjected to this Loneliness
In this Horrid Room Eye remain
...
Insanity purges my Soul with regrets
Depression runs rampant through my Fractured Heart
God, are You still with me or hath You abandoned me too?
What now to do?
...
The Grim Reaper tis constantly calling our my Name
Drowning forever in my Shame
First he takes away my Only Son?
Then within months?
My Only Wife?
My career Job, all my Finances, my House?
So unkind.
Not very nice.
When are you coming back Satan?
Want my Life but still got my Mind?
...
Master of My Hope
Minister of My Misery
Commander of My Pain
Doesn't matter much anymore
A Long time ago unfortunately.
I then went *Insane.

Author Notes

*Insane: Adjective /in.sane/ 1. in a state of mind which prevents normal perception, behavior, of social interactions; seriously mentally-ill. "he had gone insane" ... Similar: MENTALLY-ILL 2. INFORMAL* US shocking, outrageous "they were were making Insane amounts of money" ... Note: Merriam-Webster Dictionary go insane: idiom to become mentally ill, to go crazy. usually used and in an exaggerated way "if you don't stop making that noise, I'm going, to go completely insane" ... Note: On December 1st, 2006 After two periods of severe and psychotic episode of depression. I lost my mind and attempted suicide three times. (Within less than an hour) ... And, if you know somebody who is severely depressed? Then do as I had and please call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 or call 9-11. ... Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach Smrkovsky December 6th, 1952~ November 23rd, 2003 Purposely stopped her needed medications. Only five months after the death of our son Jason. Unfortunately, passed away from the second heart attack due to DVD. "Deep Venicular Thrombosis" (Blood clot from the leg to the heart) ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Fathers and His Son Jesus The Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this talented artist, 'Abbas AL Mosawi' And, his Incredible Picture Entitled, "Cover Bazzar"

Chapter 29
No Forgiveness (A)

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"No Forgiveness" (A)
Written on November 15th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

There's now no Forgiveness in this Feeble Heart.
It's simply never happening and never will it start.
Lost the Only Son and that was never fun.
Cursed myself each and every waking day.
Why?
Well because it's a parent's job to try and take the child's pain away.
...
Yes, there's no Forgiveness and now and how I do know.
I'd rather die and die suffering.
Really, really slow.
First lost the Only Son followed shortly by the Only Wife.
And God that will always haunt me.
Haunt me to the rest of my lousy life.
...
God I'm sorry but I want to to end my life.
*(December 1st, 2006)
Yes there's no Forgiveness for my past Sins.
Mercy me for that Bitter taste of "Prickling Pins"
Puncture each pore of my being.
It darkness Lord God.
Just Darkness.
I'm now seeing.

"Forgiveness" (B)
Written on November 15th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

God, there's now and no?
No Forgiveness for me?
Yes, but Thy Sun now is again Shining?
Yes, now shining for me?
And, Thy Birds?
Birds do sing Sweet Melody?
Dear Lord God what is happening in me?
...
The many and Beautiful Stars are again?
Yes, and twinkle at this night!
Tis this Thy Miracle a Blessing just right?
Tis no more Nasty Nightmares?
Nightmarish Screams?
Replaced now finally with Peaceful and Resting Dreams?
God, and now all through the night?
Through the night it seems?
...
I feel as if my Childhood tis again and so right!
I can and again want to fly my Big Pink kite!
And, perhaps God everything's now going just perfectly?
Perfectly right?
As no more Pink Tears in my eyes?
I do shed?
And God, no more Unending tears!
Unending tears pouring down instead?
...
No more wanting to die?
No more 9-11 to dial?
Now perhaps instead I can again?
Again finally smile?
Smile again and dance happily!
My Dear Lord God above!
I thank you for finally....
Finally setting me **Free!

Author Notes

*December 1st, 2006: Date This sadly was the day now and almost sixteen years ago. That I tried Unsuccessfully to end my life. ... Note: And, if you know anybody feeling depressed or Suicidal like my past wife Carolyn? Then please call the National Suicide hotline at 988 or 9-11. ... "Compassion will cure more sins then condemnation" Henry Ward Beecher ... Note: In order to forgive? In order to forgive and forget? In Order to forgive, forget, any thing or being? Big or small, Human or Non-Human? We then first need the ability to Love thy Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Then we can ask Forgiveness for thyself and for everything else. ... "To Forgive and forget indeed, we shalleth need" Unknown Poet (Me) ... "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you" Matthew 6:14 ... Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach Smrkovsky December 6th, 1952~ November 23rd, 2003 ... Jason Richard Smrkovsky November 5th, 1984~ March 31st, 2003. Organs Graciously offered to save four Human beings on April 1st, 2003. (April Fools Day) ... "For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish but have eternal life" ... Note: And to Learn more about 'Organ-Tissue Donations?" Simply contact my dearest friend Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with, "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented artist, 'Annalinda' And, Anna's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Mercy"

Chapter 30
Wandering Lost Forevermore

By Ricky1024

"Wandering Lost Forevermore"
Written on November 16th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

"Wandering lost Forever"
"For if Ye shalleth forgive other
people, when they sin against ye;
your heavenly father will also forgive you"
...
On this very March 31st, 2003 Day.
God, I've seemingly lost my way?
Yes, and am wandering aimlessly.
There's nothing much left inside me.
(God you see?)
...
Broken keys, a song no longer with Melody?
Infinite half smiles cast now within Sins.
Engraven frets of Regrets.
As silence tastes bitter.
Oh so bitter in frowns of tears that are wet!
...
Heart no longer aches.
As laughter in my belly aches.
Forsaken me!
As Rumblings, Mountainous tears of fear!
Volcanic eruptions!
Constant disruptions?
Yes are near as church bells sing out in Glee?
Yes God but never ever for me?
...
Black clouds now gather overhead singling the passing of my Dead.
And, I walk alone now.
Yes, just me and my constant Misery.
Footsteps molded in fading sand.
Soon oh soon God?
Take my hand?

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Annalinda' Anna's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Leave Your Footprints Only"

Chapter 31
Medication for Thy Soul

By Ricky1024

"Medication for Thy Soul"
(A Dedication for Carolyn)
Written on November 16th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Medicate-Soothing remedy.
Tear drop white Wash.
Mirrored images of Reflections.
Reflections gone past
Eight by Ten pictures to never last?
...
Contemplating Resurrection?
Or laughter in retrospection.
Nothing but constant rejections?
Re-Navigating as relating to God?
But Dear God?
Struck in her past?
...
Her One-Last-Gasp!
Long Lost mostly all achieved?
Stripped vessels.
Dangling in tangled webs.
COVID-19 Pandemic Agony!
Why, Lord, why she?
Stopped all the necessary?
Medications prescribed!
Man Alive!
Why won't they believe?
...
Medication necessary.
Renewing by chance?
Mirrored images of Reflections?
One-Last-Glance?
Chronic example.
One Last Dance?
Future relations?
Tried and True?
Need to again believe?
Wouldn't you?

Author Notes

Note: Grief effects human beings differently. And, in my case concerning my late wife Carolyn. She unfortunately, was filled with hate and Grief. A combination which was slowly eradicating her Soul. And, as a result only three months before her eventual death. Yes, she decided to stop her necessary medications and as a result? She died from Deep Venicular Thrombosis. A Heart attack caused by a blood clot from the leg to the Heart. ... And, if you know anybody who is feeling severely depressed and possibly suicidal? Then please call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 or 9-11. ... Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach Smrkovsky December 6th, 1952~ November 23rd, 2003. "Rest in Peace Baby" ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Renate-Bertodi' Renate's Incredible Picture Entitled, "despair without the veneer"

Chapter 32
Stop the Tears?

By Ricky1024

"Stop the Tears?"
Written on November 21st, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

My Love it's too hard to say Goodbye.
I still can't seem to stop the cry?
All those past moments.
When I think about you.
My Dear Lord God what should I do?
...
I still think of you when I try to sleep.
I still think of you Jay.
Yes, and when I do.
I again still wonder why it's got to be?
Yes, always and never you?
Always and ever just me?
Dear God above,
That not the way it's supposed to be?
...
So, I count the hours as they turn into the days.
The days blend into the weeks.
And the weeks into the years.
Wondering when God?
You will stop the *Tears?

Author Notes

*Tears: noun /tears/ 1. a drop of clear saline fluid secreated by the lacrimal gland and defused between the eye and eyelids to moisten the parts and facilitate their motion. ... Note: Tears are not just some simple drops of liquid when we are upset with emotion. Although a necessary process to help us when we emote. Tears also, keep your eyes wet and smooth, and help focus light so you can see more clearly. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'avmurray' Her Incredible Incredible Picture Entitled, "Time to Say Goodbye"

Chapter 33
Goodbye XOXO

By Ricky1024

"Goodbye XOXO"
(A Dedication for Jay)
Written on November 21st, 2022
By Doctor Ricky1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

My Love its too, too. Hard...
Hard to say, "Goodbye"
Still can't seem to stop the "Cry"
Wipe thr Tear from my eye?
All those past moments seem to melt on by.
...
Jay, when I think about you?
All those loving things...
Things we used to do?
Together not forever and ever?
...
Jay, as I try?
Do as I can?
My Buddy Friend?
Those tears just come back again and again?
...
Jay, I still think of you.
I do, still do.
Each and every time I try to sleep?
When again shall we meet?
It's so descreate in dreams.
...
In dreams as I drift.
Escape and leave my day.
Traveling back to you.
You my "Buddy Friend"
My Jay.
And, what again?
As I do finally awake?
When then can't it be?
Again you as and then Me?
...
So Jay as the many hours?
From the many minutes?
From the many seconds.
To the countless hours.
Hours into weeks.
Weeks into months.
Months into years.
Years now into decades.
Decades of tears?

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented artist, 'avmurry' And, her Incredible Picture Entitled, "The last Goodbye"

Chapter 34
Resounding Tears

By Ricky1024

"Resounding Tears"
Written on November 22nd, 2022
By Doctor Ricky1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Flailing Winds of reckless Sins and it begins.
God, no more crying now?
Several past regrets as Ocean's tides recede.
Coccooned in Doom as dusks rust, shattered seeds bleed me?
God, no Sunlight now as the weather is rearranging?
...
Howling Winds lick my Sins and gobble up my dreams.
Coating my Broken body Blue with Endless, Nightmarish, Screams.
...
Nothing left around not a single sound?
God, why can't I sleep?
I barely walk, can no longer talk, barely standing.
And, the Moon's glow tis drowning in Sins creek.
And, my pain and misery again surrounds me!
...
God, now my feebled mind is clouded and enshrouded.
As nothing is near?
God, is this the way it's supposed to be?
When I lose something close to me and dear?
...
Nothings real as the Sun hides but burns inside?
As the tears again, eye hear.
My Heart creaks with fear.
"Resounding Tears"

Author Notes

Note: The loss of a child is a Parent's worst Nightmare. A Gift that continues to grow and give, as long as you live. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this talented Artist, 'iPhone7' Their Incredible Picture Entitled. "And So the Birds They Csme"

Chapter 35
Resounding Happiness

By Ricky1024

"Resounding Happiness"
Written on November 22nd, 2022
By Doctor Ricky1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Flailing winds now are no longer here.
Here washing my countless Sins away!
Again, I can say Dear Lord God.
I'm Reborn!
Hallelujah!
...
The Sun's shine is here for me!
Blackened Clouds used to cover me!
And, I finally can see!
God, no longer am I blinded and bound!
Bound by Man's regrets!
No longer do I walk alone!
No longer do Nightmares appear!
Now God and thanks yo You!
I rest and sleep in Dreams that complete me!
The many Angels come to greet me!
...
My Dear Lord God above,
I wish to thank You.
Thank You for showing me how to Love.
There's no more Screams!
All replaced with my Beautiful Dreams.
And, I can finally see my purpose.
As, my Son is watching down.
Down on *Me.

Author Notes

*Me: Note: Angels truly exist and if you truly believe? ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this talented Artist, 'seshadri_screenivasan' Seshadri's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Sunset of All Sunsets"

Chapter 36
Life's Trapped ithin a Tea Spoon

By Ricky1024

"Life's Trapped Within a Tea Spoon"
Written on July 17th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Trapped deeply within, I live this Sin.
Yes, with each drink I now must take.
And, I do my best to continue on and try not to forsake.
But God, it's much harder now that I've grown older.
And, as memories pass me by.
And, all my tears from just drip to drop?
Continue as Eye try again to cry.
...
Now, I reminisce of this and I wonder why?
I wonder why Dear God?
That it's so hard sometimes to cry?
The tears do seem to accumulate
but never to accommodate?
And God, once they do?
Yes, finally come too.
Eye then succumb to yesterday's.
"Wonder Whys?"
...
So, I watch the drops accumulate and still try to figure why?
Yes, why when they finally do come.
I feel like I just want to die?
...
So terribly wrong as another in song that now seems?
And, it happens even in my dreams?
God, do Eye have to die ?
Die to stop this Cry?
For I can't even spend an enjoyable day?
...
So, Eye write in cry.
As if continously within my Doom My God, because for me?
"Life's Trapped Within a Tea Spoon"

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented artist, 'Susan F. M. T.' And, Susan's Incredible and Amazing Picture Entitled, "A Bumblebee Sucks Up Honey" ... Note: When you lose a Loved One? Your Life not only tis altered... But changed in Pain that unfortunately, shall always remain.

Chapter 37
Steady My Stream of Tears

By Ricky1024

"Steady My Stream of Tears" (A)
Written on December 4th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

It's now starting to Rain.
Gently ever so.
A steady as ready stream, as if from a recent Dream?
While my Heart fills with regrets
Yet, I know not how to yet?
Yet, stop this steady.
Right or Wrong Pain.
Yes from all my Rain.
...
Slowly yes, slowly It starts in a path to be?
First from the left, then to the right...
My Constant and Ever Painful Misery.
And, so tragically as it may seem.
Yes, in this Pain from my Dream.
...
And, it's necessary.
So why God?
Why does one want to God?
Now won't you please?
Please explain?
Explain this Rain?
The Rain that starts deep inside the hide?



"Just Another Cry" (B)
Written on December 4th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024

It's just Another Cry.
No me, no my.
Eye just cry.
The warmth appears...
(sometimes unclear)
Yes, to cleanse away.
...
Eye can feel it when it starts, within my "Aching Heart"
Slowly at first...
(As if rehearsed)
...
Yes, it's just another cry.
And, it's now pouring out.
Oh my!
It seems to be okay?
Yes, this day I pray.
And, soon I know it will go away.
...
It's just another cry.
And, not to worry.
For it's here within my Eyes.
Sometimes when it appears.
The reasons becoming quite clear.
For it's just Emotions.
Everlasting you see?
A completely normal part of me?

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'seshadri_screenivasan' His Incredible Picture Entitled, "Total Eclipse of the Heart"

Chapter 38
My Wound of Gauze (A)

By Ricky1024

"My Wound of Gauze" (A)
Written on December 18th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Time heals but let's keep it real?
Really?
And after way back then as I write these words with a cheap pen.
...
The pen of my pain dissipates but then tries to sear.
Yes, but my scars are still visible and still appear?
After all these many hurtful years.
...
My Wound of Gauze is a thin translucent and loose fabric in an open weave.
And, it reveals the who I still am not the who I used to be.
...
Yes, my Wound of Gauze runs deep with claws that grasp!
Tear, rip, and yearn.
The Wound of Gauze with impenetrable Jaws that claws in search of her needs.
Yes, at best she has this Unending Greed that devours with jaws that never go away?

****

"My Wounds of Gauze" (B)
Written on December 18th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024

My Wounds of Gauze, It runs so deeply in screams of hallow Dreams.
Never Discriminating but always into my Broken and Bloodied Heart.
...
Dear Lord God how do I part?
Yes, but it's still another part of me. Endless Unnerving Misery!
My Wound of Grief!
My Wound of Gauze!
Dear Lord God.
Is this a Gift from Santa or Satan Claus?
It's Entombed and Cocooned me to the point I can't even seem to sleep?
...
So up all night and here I write.
As it creeps it watches me and smiles with it's evil grin of Sin.
As I wonder why?
Why I still am here and in the morning of my mourning.
It gives me my Good Morning Kiss.
As I so much insist.
And, try to resist but it laughs in my ear and tells me.
'Never to forget!'
'I will always be here!'

Author Notes

Note: Losing a child is a parent's worst Nightmare. And, it's a gift that continues to give. Yes, as long as you continue to live. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Lilbug6: Lilly's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Coming into the Light"

Chapter 39
God's Most Perfect Pain ofRequet

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

God's Most Perfect Pain of Request
Written on January 10th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

God's Most Perfect Pain needs to remain in order that I attain.
"This Most Perfect Need"
Oh, yes indeed.
God's Most Perfect Pain of Request.
Oh, yes God shalleth feed thy Perfect Pain?
...
As much as this Perfect Pain needs to remain.
Yes, it is sometimes annoying to me.
Tears of pillowed and past regrets.
Life is no sure bet.
As it can suddenly catch me in a cry.
Yes, Widowed Windows Panes of Lullaby.
Baby miss you so.
Why did you have to go?
It's not the same?
Now its just this Ever Pouring this "Endless Tears Game"
...
It's a connection and constant flow.
(Don't you know?)
As it begins in a flow through my eye.
For a right reason eye can suddenly cry.
And, I can feel it bleeding forever.
As it's so quiet the clever.
Yes, needing a Soul to take.
But though, its in my needs.
To again create indeed.
Yes, indeed as my Heart again must break.
...
This is My Perfect Pain.
Victimizes my brain to the point I can no longer rest but understand.
But and fortunately for me.
Yes, this is when I'm at my Very Best.
Yes, my Very Best, Most Optimal and Most Perfect.
Most Purest of Best.
Propelling my wounded Mind...
Waves after Wave...
Crest after Crest...
...
So, Fanstory Reviewers.
If Ye So Do Need to Bleed?
Bleed as I Bleed, indeed?
In Godly Request to Yearn?
To Be Your Very Best Your Quest?
Then do as I do and journal it too.
Pray with all Your Brokenness of Heartened Hearted Needs.
Needs to do Your Very Best!
God's Most Perfect Pain of *Request.

Author Notes

*Request: noun/verb /re.quest/ Noun: an act asking politely or formally for something. "A request was made to donate his organs" ... Verb: politely or formally ask for. "He had received information he requested" ... Note: This book Entitled , "A Father's Grieving Heartache" Yes, was the second book created after the book Entitled, "The Gift of Life!" And, now going on over 20 years ago after the death of my dearly beloved son Jason Richard Smrkovsky. Followed unfortunately and shortly after with the suicide death of my spouse Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach Smrkovsky. ... If you know somebody's possibly suicidal. Then please call the National Suicide Hotline at 988. ... And, to learn more about this Amazing and Incredible program Entitled, 'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Then simply contact me or my dearest friend Lara S. Moretti. The L.S.W. for this program Entitled, "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800- DONORS-1 Thanks, 24. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer 'cleo85' Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "A Window to My Mind"

Chapter 40
Blue Skies Cry

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Blue Skies Cry"
Written on February 26th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Times past, Life barely lasts.
Memories now just lost thoughts fade away.
Remembrances of long ago fractured images, tossed away so.
Feelings I no longer can Grasp.
Long ago in my past.
I cry and wonder God, why?
"Blue Skies Cry"
...
Heart-Broken stroked chords now scorched in Endless Pain.
Little now remains.
As I continue to play the game?
God, it hurts still so much.
So much I want to die.
"Blue Skies Cry"
...
God?
Why?
Why God Why?
Why my little guy?
Why God, life should be no more for me?
Not he?
...
So, So, much Misery.
So, So, much Grief.
Trying my best God.
Yes, but as I try.
"Blue Skies *Cry"

Author Notes

*Cry: verb. /kri/ 1.shed tears typically as an expression of DISTRESS, PAIN, or SORROW. "don't cry it will be alright" Similar: weep, shed tears, sob, wail. 2. shout or scream, typically to express fear, pain, or grief. "the center forward cried in pain as he went down under the challenge" Similar: call, shout, exclaim. ... Note: I cried more tears in Seventeen hours. March 31st, 2003 into April 1st, 2003. Then I had done my entire life. During that horrible period in my life when I finally realized. Realized my Only Son Jason would never come back home to me. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'Regina E.H-Ariel' Regina's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Hibiscus Flower in Blue Sky"

Chapter 41
Only One Blue Rose

By Ricky1024

"Only One Blue Rose"
Written on March 4th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �?�© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Romance by Chance.
Only One Single Dance.
Only One that's Meant to Be.
To Be or not to Be for me?
...
Within the Dawn of the Rising Sun.
Among the Early Mournings Awakening Cry.
One Single Teardrop
One Single Teardrop.
Teardrop from my Blue Eye.
...
The Sun's now setting.
Setting within Her Broken of Heart..
Eye Kissed the Shame and took the blame.
I tried to Kiss the Pain.
Pain away from her face.
But God, she can no longer see?
Exactly all the Love.
Love that was meant to Be.
...
God, I did my best but the test was way too, too, much.
As I traced the curves of her Endless Pain and constant Misery.
And, God knows that there's....
"Only One Blue *Rose"

Author Notes

*Rose: noun /rose/ 1. Any of the wild or cultivated usually prickly stemmed, pinnate-leaved, showy-flowered, shrubs of the genus Rosa: Compare Rose family. "She cried endless bluen tears because of the loss of her only Blue Rose" Special thanks goes to first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer, 'Doctor Ricky 1024' His Incredible Picture Entitled, "Only One Blue Rose" Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, ... On November 23rd, 2003. And, after Rights months of Endless Misery. And, after the Death of our only Son Jason Richard Smrkovsky. Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach Smrkovsky committed Suicide. ... Note: If you know somebody who's severely depressed and possibly Suicidal? Then please call the National Suicide Hotline at 988. Carolyn Ann Richmond Harbach Smrkovsky. December 6th, 1952~ November 23rd, 2003.

Chapter 42
Within the Willows of My Mind

By Ricky1024

"Within the Past Willows of My Mind"
(A Dedication for Jay)
Written on March 10th, 2022
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Narrow Lance-shaped leaves and dense Catkins appear bearing Sweet flowers.
As now a guitar is at my feet?
Pliable twigs from long, lost, Branches. Dance and cluster as round cylinders appear.
Appear armed with spiked casings.
Casings that prick and tease.
God, no more shall I believe?
...
Troubled notes play out in Grief and Unholy Pains.
This is Mother Nature's most Cruelest Game.
As laughing and partial clouds appear.
Yes, announcing that this is the end of Autumn and soon Coldness will be near?
...
The guitars strings sting as I attempt a Musical note.
God, but again I Choke.
Yes, but no matter what I do?
There is no feelings to Emote?
As the now Saddened Clouds again appear and tears.
And, I feel it coat my Face.
God, am I lost forever and is there no more Grace?
As I taste the waste which is so Unkind. "Within the Willows of my *Mind"

Author Notes

Mind: noun /mind/ 1. the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences to think and feel the faculty of the unconsciousness and thought. "And, the thoughts ran through his mind" Note: They say when a person is comatose, they can not experience their Five Senses. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer 'cleo85' Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Desert Willows"

Chapter 43
Fragments of Perpetuality

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Fragments of Perpetuality"
Written on March 11th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Long ago when Time was meaningful and clear.
You were here.
Normality fit like a puzzle piece.
Corner to corner, border to border, and piece to Peace.
...
Long long ago when Time was precious as known.
When ET didn't need to call home on the range?
Where indeed the antelopes at play.
There still was Normality and Perfection on my Sunny Day.
...
Then Time bit Deep.
So, So, Dark and Steep.
And the Darkness took me away.
I cried and cried all through the day.
...
8x10s of my younger days now stared back at me?
Dear God, what on Earth happened?
Happened to We?
Can't you now possibly see?
See the Enormous of Miseries?
...
The Sun's Rays no longer Warmed.
But Warned and Erased.
All those Countless thoughts.
Loss of Grace?
As my Fragments of Memories?
Dissipated into Harsh Reality.
Oh, yes.
That horrid of Day.
That day I cried.
And, that March 31st, 2003 Day.
Day Eye *Died...

Author Notes

*Died: verb /died/ past tense; died:past participle: died 1. (of a person, animal, or plant stop living) "the king died a violent death" Similar: pass away pass on 2. INFORMAL used to emphasize that one wants to do or have something very much. "they must be dying for a drink" ... Note: To learn more about the Miracle of 'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Simply contact my dearest friend. Lara S.Moretti the L.S.W. with "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1. ... Note: March 31st, 2003 after my only 18-year-old son Jason Richard was involved in a horrible car accident. And as a passenger into a telephone pole at close to 100 miles an hour. ... We had to make an important decision on what to do with my now Brain- Dead child? As a result, we decided to donate his Heart and lungs, his Liver and his Kidneys. Note: On April 1st, 2023. It will be 20 years that three and four human beings are still alive. Alive and well, still functioning with Jason's organs. ... Jason Richard Smrkovsky November 5th, 1984~ March 31st, 2003. Organ's Graciously donated to the Four on April 1st, 2003. (April Fool's Day) "And the Beat Goes On" ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer 'cleo85' Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Wild and Beautiful"

Chapter 44
A Father's Worst Nightmare

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"A Father's Worst Nightmare"
Written on March 11th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

March 31st, 2003.
About 8:00 Pm.
Count Days
March 11th, 2023 ~
March 31st, 2003 .
7,245 Days ago...
...
Once Upon a Time.
When Time was Once Upon.
Life for me was happy.
True. I had a very hard life raising a family of Seven.
True, at this point there was two nervous breakdowns.
But I was still happy.
My family and dream was complete. And, had been complete.
Since the day I married in 1985
...
Yes, now 38 years ago.
13,879 days ago.
Now things would get.
"Fast and Furious" rather quickly!
...
You have to realize during that period of time.
That teenagers were influenced by many things.
Yes, they were very visually induced and influenced .
And they would see.
MTV and Video games were such an influence.
Sega. Genesis, followed by PlayStation and then Xbox.
Also that horribly influencable and stupidly dispensable movie Entitled,
"Fast and Furious"
Starring Paul Walker (deceased car accident November 13th, 2013)
Vin Diesel.and Michelle Rodriguez.
...
Yes, it was a "Fast Paced Society." Telecommunications with the internet. So, so, many things happening so, so, quickly, but did we understand??
...
Now hold on tight and hold my hand!
Cuz I am taking you on a journey of my misery!
Journey on my pain that has not ended!
Journey on March 31st, 2003 when I died and not he!
...
Let me take your breath away 100 miles an hour into a telephone pole!
You're now the passenger in a Ford Mustang driven with a 17-year-old mentally ill child on a medication called effexor!
Is only concern was to be affected and accepted!
...
Let me take you on a n Incredible Journey.
A Journey in a helicopter.
Yes to the Atlantic City Medical Trauma Center.
Had enough "Drama Center" yet?
...
Well let me shake the dice and share the bet?
Well it snake eyes. Sorry I was not you!
Yes, where you will have a Heart Attack!
But by gift of God .
God will bring you and not me back!
Brought back!
But how could that be?
Why?
Why do you need to be Alive?
Let me take you on that Journey?
Back in time!
...
170 4861 hours and 48 minutes to this point in time!
Let me continue this now in a complete rhyme!
Yes, with each and every thought in my mind?
Let me grind it in ?
Let me portray in a sin !
God how can I again?
Begin ?
Because now Fanstorians.
It's April Fool's Day 2003.
Seventeen hours later.
Now FOCUS!
...
Please for me?
But Seventeen hours later.
Now you're "Brain-Dead!" Yes not horrible room where all I did was cry.
Yes, and I'm out of my head!
Yes, and your comatose and Raccooned!
Your eyes are swollen, closed and black and blue!
There's umbilical fluid coming out both of your ears!
So, so, many lost hours.
So, so, many many of my tears!
...
But don't worry, it's perfectly okay!
Because God had a plan this incredible day!
To learn more about the Miracle of 'Organ-Tissue Donations?'
Simply contact my dearest friend.
Lara. S. Moretti the L.S.W. with
"The Gift of Life!"
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at
1-800-DONORS-1.
...
Jason Richard Smrkovsky
November 5th, 1984~
March 31st, 2003.
...
Oh, I forgot
Yes, in that horrible room where all I did was cry!
Cry why?
All those lost years and all those many many tears!
Yes but don't worry because it's okay.
Because I'm the one that died and I've been dead ever since that March 31st 2003 day.
.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer 'Dr.Ricky 1024' And, his Incredible Picture Entitled, "Doctor Ricky"

Chapter 45
Occupational Hazard!

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Occupational Hazard!" (A)
Written on March 11th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �©ï¸? Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Fly me to the Moon?
Bring me back though the real soon?
Help me learn again to eat green cheese?
Won't you do this for me please??
...
Fly me to Mars?
Where it's so hot or fry and die?
Then help me dry my redded tears?
For all those long lost years?
...
Fly me please to Saturn's Rings?
Where hopefully?
All the b
Beautiful Angels.
Angels will entertain me and sing?
And God, Make me Believe?
Can't you see?
Make me Believe and can't you see? Can't you see what's wrong with me?
...
Fly me please to all the Stars?
Further away than even planet Mars?
So, I can lasso Each and Every One?
Yes, God wherever they Are?
I need to collect them in my,
"Glastein Jar"
...
Yes, to Light my Way.
On my Darkest of Day.
On my Most Darkest?
And most Horrible of Day?
...
So again.
God, my friend?
So I can be Far, Far, Above.
Where I lost Forever.
Forever all my *Love?


****


"Wandering the Backroads of Life" (B)
Written on March 12th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �©ï¸? Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

God I'm still so darned Lost.
Can't seem to find my Way?
Forever lost my sunny of Day?
I'm trying but can't even See?
Can't even see with my Glasstien Jar.
Where ever are he are?
...
I miss his Smiley Face.
His calm voice in that feeling of Grace.
His sweet touch. I need so much.
I'm starving God and again need to taste.
Without him?
Life has taken such a Horrible Toll.
I've even lost and can't reclaim my Soul.
...
My Tears are running down!
Burning my face!
And all those lost moments.
Lost moments of Waste.
...
So God between you and me?
This is not living and can't you see?
See what's wrong and happening?
Happening now to me?
...
For all those lost Moments of Time.
For all the lost Beats.
Yes of my now Broken of Heart.
For all the distance between that has set us apart.
And all this Pain and Unending Strife.
"Wandering the Backroads of My Life"


.

Author Notes

*Love: noun /love/ 1.Feelings of deep emotions. "Tony cried the day he lost his only Love" ... Note: The loss of your child no matter what the age. The loss of your child no matter what period of time. Is a parent's worst Nightmare. It's a horrible gift that keeps on giving. Keeps on giving as long as you're living. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'ArtisticChick' And, Her Incredible Picture Entitled, "They're Here!"

Chapter 46
When My Time Stood Still

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"When My Time Stood Still"
Written up April 21st, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

"From the Very First to the Very Last Breath"
...
To Be Misled instead.
To Be Led astray that day?
To Be Misled astray that Day.
Yes, till Today?
Yes, this very day!
My Dear God?
...
Exceptional Abilities lost and left in the Dust.
Why God, I had so much trust!
Ashes to Ashes...
Dust to Dust...
God?
Why must this be for me??
...
So, I cry out in "Vacuumed Silence."
Tears, continuous tears.
Twenty now wasted years.
Why God, must this continue to be?
Why God, must eye instead remain?
...
As if blinded and binded in my
"Eternal Shame?
"From the Very Moment to the Very Lasting and, "Eventual Breath."
To the Final Moment of my Death.
...
So, I cry out in "Vacuumed Silence."
Tears continuous tears.
Twenty now long lost years.
Why God, must this be for me?
And, to remain this way?
As I am trapped within my
*Eternal Shame."

Author Notes

*Eternal Shame: Adjective /eternal Shame/ 1. A Father or Mother's feelings for the loss of his child. ... Note: The loss of a child, no matter the age, is a parent's worst nightmare. And, a Gift that continues to give as long as you continue to live. . Note: It has now been over Twenty years. This past March 31st, 2023. On March 31st 2003. I lost my only son Jason was unfortunately in a Horrible car accident. I still feel to this day it should not have happened. It should but could not be prevented. And, I wonder why with all of my Broken Heart? Yes that even though I don't feel my son Jason has died. Why the driver was never severely punished? With at least a year in a juvenile facility? ... To learn more about the Miracle of 'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Simply contact my dearest friend Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1. ... Jason Richard Smrkovsky November 5th, 1984~ March 31st, 2003. Organ's Graciously donated to the Four on April 1st, 2003. "And, the Beat Goes On!" "why God must this eternal shame always remain?" Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer, 'cleo85' Cleo's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Deserted"

Chapter 47
Resilience

By Ricky1024

"Resilience"
Written on April 25th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright ©� Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

When the going gets tough?
/re.si.lence/
"the capacity to WITHSTAND or to react quickly from difficulties TOUGHNESS"
...
As a Bat flies out into the Midnight skies to feed, feast, and gorge.
Until it's body weight is satisfied.
It's Tremendous hunger bestilled.
I myself must now Purge.
Cleanse myself of all easy Evil Sins.
The beast is upon me and I will not give in!
...
Resilient as ever ready and now holding steady at the helm of my ship.
My sails upon my masks are full-blown.
When the going get tough?
/in.sur.mount.a.ble/
"too great to be overcome"
...
I shall bow not to any beast!
(to say the least)
For there will be no excuse but myself if I fail.
The Strong wind in my *Sail.

Author Notes

Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'seshadri_sreenivasan' And, his Incredible Picture Entitled, "Impression Of Indestructible"

Chapter 48
Golden Moments of Time

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Golden Moments of Time" (A)
A Dedication for Jay and Two Minute
Write
Written on April 30th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Forever and always, ever...
Thinking of only you.
My mind still so tortured Jay and I still don't know exactly what what to do?
I promised to you to shed but a single tear.
Yes, but it's constant and happening each day of each year.
...
Every day I must now say God.
Can You not stop the pounding pain? Nothing but constant miseries and Heartache remains.
...
I guess one day my time will come due.
Yes, but until then all those precious moments to be?
To Be or Not to Be?
There's no answer to this question except...
Ashes to Ashes.
Dust to Dust.
Time goes on as it always must.
As Painful memories, feast and dine.
"Golden Moments of *Time"

****

"Party of Sin"
(To Grieve)
Written on May 11th, 2024
By Doctor Ricky 1024

In order to properly Grieve?
Firstly, with me.
We must realize and at the same time not believe.
Believe it or not?
Yes, it's as "Normal as Normal"
Normal can be for me.
...
But when one or even two of your Loved Ones suddenly disappear?
You too Vanish in a "Blink of An Eye."
Blinded by the Darkness Pain and Never Ending Shame.
Note: And, it's all part of the Senselessly of the Game.
...
Heart-Ache kicks in joined with those Wetted Tears in your "Party of Sin."
Happy birthdays to you and me!
As, each and every day.
As, the Tears coat the Years.
As, they float worthlessly By.
...
Soon, you will learn now how to deal with the Cry.
"The Me Oh Mys"
For Life is a most Blessed of thing. Yes, even within a "Party of Sin."
Approximate Word Count: 521

Author Notes

*Time: noun /time/ 1 a: the measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists or continues: DURATION b: a. non-spatial continuum That is measured in terms of events which succeed one another from past to present to future. c: LEASURE: "a time for reading and writing" ... Note: Since the initial donation of my son' Jason's Organs. (April 1st, 2003) It has been approximately. 20 years and 29 days. 240 months. 1,048 weeks. 7,,334 days. 175,992 hours. 10,559,546 minutes. 572, 810,000 seconds. Without a single sound of word to me from my son. Without as much as a blink of his eyes, or kiss on my face. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer, 'Dr.Ricky 1024' And, His Incredible Picture Entitled, "1930's Buren Gold Pocket Watch"

Chapter 49
Estinguishing the Blame?

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Estinguishing the Blame?"
Written on May 19th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright �© Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

With but is much as a whiff.
A Silent Breath.
A forever moment of Death.
A Wisp in the Wind.
A Single shed moment of Sin.
How does one begin?
Silence and nothing more or less?
...
God, it does not make any sense.
I guess it was hard to see?
Yes, and not or meant to be?
Believe it or not?
Slowly, ever so, so, slowly...
God, it's becoming okay.
Even though it's still killing me.
Killing me softly.
Each and every day.
...
They say, "Etu Brute."
And, it's the beginning to sink in as the the Middle of March.
March's again in.
Unfortunately, it doesn't represent my Sin.
...
Caesar died yes on that March day.
A Very, Very, long time ago.
Murdered.
"Etu Brute."
But my Only Son Jay?
Yes, too died on a horrible.
As horrible, and seemingly senseless March day.
...
March 31st, 2003.
This day will go down in infamy.
Yes, for me, my family, and our community.
...
This loss may seem hard to bear?
Yes, for a father to take whom cares.
Like a cross at Calvary.
Hard for me to bear the Shame and carry the Blame?
...
Yes, it haunts me.
Yes, and I live with it every second of every day.
Every moment and minute.
Every hour, week, month, and year of *Time.
...
Like an old watch that needs to be rewind.
Playing the same old game.
Carrying the torch.
"Estinguishing the Blame?"
Approximate Word Count:337.

Author Notes

*Time: noun /time/ 1a: the measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exist or continues: DURATION. b: a non-spatial continuum that is measured in terms of events which succeed one another from pass to present to Future. c: LEISURE time for reading 2: the point or period when something occurs: OCCASION 3. an appointed, fixed, or customary moment or hour for something to happen, begin, or end. "Jason would soon die that horrible March day" ... Note: To learn more about the amazing gift of Life. And, 'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Simply contact my dearest friend. Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1. ... Jason Richard Smrkovsky November 5th, 1984~ March 31st, 2003. Organ's graciously offered to the four on April 1st, 2003. (April Fool's Day) ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist, 'eileen 0204' Eileen's Incredible Picture Entitled, "Without Shame"

Chapter 50
Candle Lit?

By Ricky1024

Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.

"Candle Lit?"
Written on May 19th, 2023
By Doctor Ricky 1024
Copyright © Fanstory
'All Rights Reserved'

Broken in Pain, I call out his Name?
Guilt envelops and develops Chains.
Fractured Heart remains.
Who's the Blame?
And, who now has to deal?
And, Live with the Shame?
...
Hearts ticking like a Rusted clock whose hands of Time.
Unsuccessfully,.scrape and scratch the Lock.
But my friend.
No more can Eye Pretend.
I'm bound forever playing this "Damned Shame Game!"
...
God, I can take the Blame and the Shame.
But when I call out his Name?
God, here in the Pit.
Yes, of my "Endless Depression."
God, constantly falling down.
No matter how much.
I'm Regressing!
...
Yes, i can handle all the times.
All the times I've almost died.
But God?
God, why do I have to continue to Cry?
There's no one left to wash the tears from my Eyes.
...
God, was Eye Blind and no longer could See?
See, exactly what was happening all around me?
Within the *Sea of Untranquility.

Author Notes

*Sea of Untranquility: noun Note: The Largest Crater on the Moon. Sometimes we cannot control the things that are trying to be controlled. Fate and Destiny are the enemy. And the loss of your child is a Parent's Worst Nightmare. And yes it could be a Gift? A Gift that continues to give. As long as you continue to Live? ... To learn more about the amazing process, and healing Journey of 'Organ-Tissue Donations?' Simply contact my dearest friend. Lara S. Moretti the L.S.W. with "The Gift of Life!" Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at 1-800-DONORS-1. ... Special thanks goes out first, as always, to Heavenly Father and His Only Son Jesus Christ. Fanstory and Tom the Administrator. Fan Art Review, this Talented Artist and Amazing Writer, 'Doctor Ricky 1024' And, his Incredible Picture Entitled, "Candle Lit"

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