Butterfly
dreaming91 total reviews
Comment from mountainwriter49
Hello, my poetic friend
I enjoyed this lovely poem and its sense of freedom and beauty. I adore butterflies and marvel at the beautiful patterns adorning their wings. To me, they are miniature angels sharing nature's beauty with us.
My only concern with the poem is the singular / plural conflict constructed within the poem. This is easily fixed.
in lines one/two, you write:
to be a free flying
butterfly
this is singular
but then in stanza three you write
"they busy themselves..."
This is plural and thus conflicts with the precedent set in stanza 1.
I'd suggest tweaking the first stanza to say something like
'to be one of the butterflies" and make a corresponding adjustment in the last line or to change the plural references to singular neuter, its.
If you make corrections, please let me know so I can return and restore the deserved fifth star.
Respectfully
Ray
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Hello, my poetic friend
I enjoyed this lovely poem and its sense of freedom and beauty. I adore butterflies and marvel at the beautiful patterns adorning their wings. To me, they are miniature angels sharing nature's beauty with us.
My only concern with the poem is the singular / plural conflict constructed within the poem. This is easily fixed.
in lines one/two, you write:
to be a free flying
butterfly
this is singular
but then in stanza three you write
"they busy themselves..."
This is plural and thus conflicts with the precedent set in stanza 1.
I'd suggest tweaking the first stanza to say something like
'to be one of the butterflies" and make a corresponding adjustment in the last line or to change the plural references to singular neuter, its.
If you make corrections, please let me know so I can return and restore the deserved fifth star.
Respectfully
Ray
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank Ray for your helpful suggestions and review.
Comment from seaglass
The butterfly never ceases to inspire. These magical creatures and their transitional stages reign supreme in the kingdom of metaphors. This light hearted poem features this and demonstrated it all with awesome artwork.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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The butterfly never ceases to inspire. These magical creatures and their transitional stages reign supreme in the kingdom of metaphors. This light hearted poem features this and demonstrated it all with awesome artwork.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you for the excellent review:)
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
free flying 'f' alliteration
singing silent song 's' "
beneath paper wings Great line 'paper'
whisper words/ wisdom
kisses of peace another great line
An allegorical presentation well presented. Whimsical and fragile with a sense of longing for a world that cannot be.
Regards:
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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free flying 'f' alliteration
singing silent song 's' "
beneath paper wings Great line 'paper'
whisper words/ wisdom
kisses of peace another great line
An allegorical presentation well presented. Whimsical and fragile with a sense of longing for a world that cannot be.
Regards:
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thanks for the excellent review:)
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Well deserved
Comment from w.j.debi
What. A sweet, soft. happy feeling you create. Butterflies do seem to hold the essence freedom and joy. Nice connotation with butterflies and kissed of love and peace. It does make it seem that being a butterfly would be a wonderful thing.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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What. A sweet, soft. happy feeling you create. Butterflies do seem to hold the essence freedom and joy. Nice connotation with butterflies and kissed of love and peace. It does make it seem that being a butterfly would be a wonderful thing.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much for the lovely review:)
Comment from judiverse
This is really ingenious. I would never had thought of being a butterfly. You see the butterflies as accomplishing much good. They can whisper words of wisdom and blow kisses of peace. I can see you admire the freedom the butterflies express. This is well worded with great description of the butterflies. judi
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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This is really ingenious. I would never had thought of being a butterfly. You see the butterflies as accomplishing much good. They can whisper words of wisdom and blow kisses of peace. I can see you admire the freedom the butterflies express. This is well worded with great description of the butterflies. judi
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thank you Judi for the lovely review:)
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You're so welcome, Teresa. judi
Comment from harmony13
A beautiful butterfly poem! The author's words were descriptive, clear and thought provoking. The reader felt the freedom associated with this poem. The artwork is perfect and enhances the read.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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A beautiful butterfly poem! The author's words were descriptive, clear and thought provoking. The reader felt the freedom associated with this poem. The artwork is perfect and enhances the read.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much for the lovely review:)
Comment from Ted T
Once again, my "Sixers" are all gone, so I'll pass along a virtual one you can add to the five-star rating.
Good writing easy to read and understand without thinking about what it means.
We get way too much of that on FS in over the top poetry.
Ted
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Once again, my "Sixers" are all gone, so I'll pass along a virtual one you can add to the five-star rating.
Good writing easy to read and understand without thinking about what it means.
We get way too much of that on FS in over the top poetry.
Ted
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much for the lovely review and virtual six:)
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You're welcome :)
Comment from Angel Debbie
O what a beautiful write this is. I just love the butterfly
They fly so effortlessly to which I could do so too. Nice write and great pics to go along with. thank You for sharing some spring ad summer.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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O what a beautiful write this is. I just love the butterfly
They fly so effortlessly to which I could do so too. Nice write and great pics to go along with. thank You for sharing some spring ad summer.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much for the lovely review:)
Comment from lappmellott
I enjoyed reading your poem about the butterfly. It's well written and I especially love the photograph you've chosen. Good job.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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I enjoyed reading your poem about the butterfly. It's well written and I especially love the photograph you've chosen. Good job.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much for the lovely review:)
Comment from Petriesan
I have wanted to be a butterfly on occasion, but ,they spend so little time on the planet, it seems I would want a longer life. . .but maybe it is worth it for the beauty and freedom?
your poem was a good depiction of how they are seen
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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I have wanted to be a butterfly on occasion, but ,they spend so little time on the planet, it seems I would want a longer life. . .but maybe it is worth it for the beauty and freedom?
your poem was a good depiction of how they are seen
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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THank you for the wonderful review:)
