While You're Away
aabb rhyme34 total reviews
Comment from MommaT
Awesome, simple and true acknowledgement of love everlasting. The flow was great and the picture fits the intent. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Awesome, simple and true acknowledgement of love everlasting. The flow was great and the picture fits the intent. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much for your lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Nancy
Comment from Smoothiecool
your chosen words allow the reader to see and feel the missing of a loved one and the aching for the return
good rhyme theme through out your verses
great enjambment to allow free flow
good alliteration in "W" "S" "D" "R' "L" words through out your verses
good use of verbs to bring your poem alive
flows well
cheers Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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your chosen words allow the reader to see and feel the missing of a loved one and the aching for the return
good rhyme theme through out your verses
great enjambment to allow free flow
good alliteration in "W" "S" "D" "R' "L" words through out your verses
good use of verbs to bring your poem alive
flows well
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 26-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much for your great review. Nancy
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most welcome..SC >> Faye
Comment from donette1914
very touching and tender and loneliness and the words were very moving and I like the artwork well done it was a pleasure to read
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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very touching and tender and loneliness and the words were very moving and I like the artwork well done it was a pleasure to read
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your positive review. Glad you enjoyed it. Nancy
Comment from DALLAS01
I love the artwork that match so perfectly the verse that seems to reach back in time. The rhyme and flow waltz down your page. Beautiful sentiments
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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I love the artwork that match so perfectly the verse that seems to reach back in time. The rhyme and flow waltz down your page. Beautiful sentiments
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much Dallas, glad you liked it. Nancy
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You're welcome.
Comment from donaldww
The poet remembers someone who is away in a set of rhyming couplets. Her friend's words are whispered in the trees, and stars bring added happiness.
However, the final couplet indicates that in truth she is lonely and needs a real body rather than a memory.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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The poet remembers someone who is away in a set of rhyming couplets. Her friend's words are whispered in the trees, and stars bring added happiness.
However, the final couplet indicates that in truth she is lonely and needs a real body rather than a memory.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thank you Donald for your great review. Nancy
Comment from harmony13
An excellent poem. The poem flowed and connected well.
The author's words were strong, emotional and thought provoking. The artwork is perfect and complement's this poem.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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An excellent poem. The poem flowed and connected well.
The author's words were strong, emotional and thought provoking. The artwork is perfect and complement's this poem.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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So glad you enjoyed it. thanks so much for the positive review. Nancy
Comment from GracieAnn
Nancy, this is exceptional in the meter and rhyme. The strong emotive words are moving and strike a familiar cord with anyone who misses their true love. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Nancy, this is exceptional in the meter and rhyme. The strong emotive words are moving and strike a familiar cord with anyone who misses their true love. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much GracieAnn, for your great review. I appreciate your encouraging comments. Nancy
Comment from Rainbowsofhappiness
Beautiful analogies present in this piece. I love the opening line "I dream while you're away, I hear you on the breeze". This line sets the tone that the whole poem follows of yearning, romance, and desire for the one you love. The photo which appears old fashion nicely compliments the word choices from old English poetry such as "e're". The poem itself hints at the romanticism found in poems by the great poets such as Wordsworth, Chaucer, and even Shakespeare with the element of parted lovers. The rhythmic pattern interwoven throughout this poem helps it flows eloquently, maintaining a concise, consistent meter throughout. The stanzas float seamlessly transitioning from one to the next incorporating vivid imagery into the descriptive lines. Well written conveying passionate emotions and producing an intense impact on the reader.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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Beautiful analogies present in this piece. I love the opening line "I dream while you're away, I hear you on the breeze". This line sets the tone that the whole poem follows of yearning, romance, and desire for the one you love. The photo which appears old fashion nicely compliments the word choices from old English poetry such as "e're". The poem itself hints at the romanticism found in poems by the great poets such as Wordsworth, Chaucer, and even Shakespeare with the element of parted lovers. The rhythmic pattern interwoven throughout this poem helps it flows eloquently, maintaining a concise, consistent meter throughout. The stanzas float seamlessly transitioning from one to the next incorporating vivid imagery into the descriptive lines. Well written conveying passionate emotions and producing an intense impact on the reader.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
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This is such a lovely, gracious. review. Thank you so much. I am encouraged by your comments. So glad you enjoyed it. Nancy
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You are most welcome for the review and I'm glad that it gave you further encouragement to write more! All the best!
Rainbowsofhappiness
Comment from Glasstruth
This such a magnificent flow and rhythm. Just rolled off my tongue as I read it aloud. The rhyming is smooth, no awkwardness at all. A great love poem. Bravo!!! Les
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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This such a magnificent flow and rhythm. Just rolled off my tongue as I read it aloud. The rhyming is smooth, no awkwardness at all. A great love poem. Bravo!!! Les
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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I'm so happy you like it. thank you for your gracious review. Nancy
Comment from ArtGal
This is so very beautiful, and you drew me in from the beginning. I could feel your lonliness and yearning for him to return to you. He's with you from morning into night, yet you seek the the realness of him, for dreams and thoughts are never enough. I have to read this again and again, so I say Bravo to this, and know how much I enjoyed. . .Sharon
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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This is so very beautiful, and you drew me in from the beginning. I could feel your lonliness and yearning for him to return to you. He's with you from morning into night, yet you seek the the realness of him, for dreams and thoughts are never enough. I have to read this again and again, so I say Bravo to this, and know how much I enjoyed. . .Sharon
Comment Written 24-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review and the 6 rating. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Nancy
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Truly awesome, and did read again and again!
