Reviews from

Fare's Fair--The End

Conclusion of a two-parter.

27 total reviews 
Comment from Tatarka2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I really don't know how this could possibly be improved. Excellent work. I especially like your spare, clean style, and the way you tell a story by "showing," not necessarily "telling." Job well done.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
    Thank you so much, Tatarka2. I'm delighted you found, and enjoyed this story. It's one of my personal favorites. Many thanks. Peace, Lee
Comment from Silverlock
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ooh, Lee, you've uncovered more questions than you've answered I'm afraid! I'd really like to know more about Father Francis and his moral dilemma, about the bagel-eating/sherry-drinking Miss Reba and most of all about Bill, the cabbie.
This is a wonderful conclusion to Fare's Fair, but having whet this reader's appetite, I'd like to put on 'Oliver's' hat and beg 'Please, sir, can I have some more?'
Best regards, Barb

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 05-Sep-2013
    Thank you, Barb. I love you're request, and I am tempted to write more. At the same time, I kind of like the loose weave of this story, that it's not all wrapped up. I'm pretty sure, though, I'll visit Bill in The Dumpster again. Reba's story has more to tell. And I'd like to work with one of those calls he gets from the Ladies' lav at some bar when a woman decides to ditch her date and sneak out the back to a waiting cab.
    Anyway, I'll keep thinking about ex-father Francis, too.
    Thanks so much, Barb. Peace, Lee
Comment from Cornelius2000
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You are such a great story-teller, always with interesting characters, and excellent dialogue writing. The "tone" of Bill's conversation is just right, the tough cab driver who gives the ex-priest a hard time but really cares for him. Splendid story.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 05-Sep-2013
    Thank you, Dave. I'm particularly glad you enjoyed this one.
    It seemed to me to come from a different well. Thanks again.
    Peace, Lee
Comment from JeffreyStone
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

OK, Lee, you owe me two bucks. Nah, it was so damn good I will pay you two bucks.

Another cartoon bubble expunged of ironic meaning. (I am stealing this line for my next story, no matter what its about.)

Jeffrey

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 04-Sep-2013
    Thank you, Jeffrey. I think you collected your buck for each review. Tryin' to swindle me, huh?
    Jeffrey, I think you know what I think of you as a writer, so your comments mean the most. Steal lines from me, and all I'll do is celebrate. Peace, Lee
Comment from IndianaIrish
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I may forget the title or forget the names of the three characters, but I'll never forget this story and the effect it had on me, hw. God himself could have appeared and forgiven Francis and given his collar back, but there is no way Francis could ever forgive himself. But what a beautiful thing he did to the dying young mother. From the look in her eyes, he knew she needed the one thing to give the last moments of her life meaning ... a simple kiss of compassion and love. Bill is the kind of guy I'd love to share a bottle of Jameson's with and talk about the things in life I only discuss with someone I know who knows more about life than I ever will and would never be judgmental as I listened and threw my two cents in. I'm glad I had a gold star for both parts of the story because both deserved them. Damn, how I love reading your stories.
Smiles,
Indy : )

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 04-Sep-2013
    Even better! Thank you for all the stars again, Indy. I rarely plan my stories, as you know. I let circumstances bring me to a point where I have to make a decision. I'd like to think the kiss was my decision, but don't know that it was. I set the story up, confident that I'd be able to explain Francis's pain, but it never occured to me it might be a simple kiss--until it was on the paper (okay, screen). I was as amazed as anyone.
    When my friends agree with me about special stories, I always wonder who wrote it. Thank you so much, Indy. Peace, Lee
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I found this absolutely fascinating, and so believable to. Of course, that may not have been your intent, but what the heck, that's how it read to me. Great inner dialogue and as I already said, fascinating story. I wish I had a 6, but I've used up my monthly allotment already.

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 04-Sep-2013
    Thanks so much, Sasha. Yes, I did hope you'd find it believable.
    Francis made a judgement call, and he was judged wrong in the court of public opinion. I'm delighted you enjoyed.
    Peace, Lee
Comment from Sally Carter
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Certainly did enjoy the wrap-up, Lee. A superb tale of the priest's downfall. How unexpected and original. On the face of it a small thing, when we are used to tales of child abuse and the like. But enough to end his career and self belief.
Wonderful characterisation of both the taxi driver and Francis, complete with your usual sharp wit.
My only query is over "Here, here", which I am sure should be "hear, hear".
Thoroughly enjoyed the whole tale.
Sally

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 03-Sep-2013
    Yipes, Sally, you're right! Hear, hear! These homophones get me every time. And the way they treat the gays? Disgraceful!
    Yes, I wanted 'unexpected', but I didn't want melodrama. A moment of simple compassion frozen, replicated, and misinterpreted in the court of public opinion. Enough to shake any man's faith. Thanks for your ever-encouraging reviews, and for spotting my homophonic faux pas. Thanks, Sally.
    Peace, Lee
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This gave me a weird feeling as I read. Being of a curious nature, I wonder what made him kiss her like that. That's not a criticism at all, Lee. The 'kiss of death' scene was a genius stroke. I shivered at the recognition she displayed, or perhaps the recognition he felt.

Intriguing and desperately good.

I think, sometimes, we ignore our impulses in life, driven by societal approval or disapproval. LOL! If I'd acted on some of my impulses I'd either be dead or committed by now!

What a story. It's left me feeling kind of melancholy, though. Not quite sure why.

Impressed, mind you. As usual.

Av

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 04-Sep-2013
    Thank you, Av. I know that weird feeling. I felt it too. I had now idea how the crash scene would play out, and I can't explain the kiss--but I think it was the best Francis could do at the moment. Judgement went against him, and that was that.
    I think we need more ambiguity in our lives. Too many people don't have time for ambiguity.
    Anyway, Av, thank you as always. I'm a little melancholy, too.

    Peace, Lee
reply by Cumbrianlass on 04-Sep-2013
    Well, let's be melancholy together for a while, 'k?

    Ambiguity is part of writing, I think. If we had all the answers, there'd be no room left for wonder. And I like to wonder about stuff.

    Sometimes I overdo it though, and end up...well...melancholy!

    xx



Comment from irishauthorme
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Real-life drama. When I was first released from the USN, the only job I could find right away was working on a garbage truck. Our route was through neighborhoods like the Dumpster. Got to know many of the rejects, so I recognized Bill, Francis, and the quintessential Miss Reba.
You have a great talent for wading through the bullshit and getting right down to the cobblestones of life.
Good Stuff!

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2013


reply by the author on 05-Sep-2013
    Hey, irish, thank you. I love the 'cobblestones of life'. Yeah, that's where the action is. I'mglad you like this one. It seems to have sprung from a different well. Peace, Lee
Comment from vickib
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Lee!
There's a lot of value in the job of a cabbie. I wouldn't be surprised if Francis and Miss Reba left everything to Bill in their will. I read this a couple of times trying to get the drift of exactly what happened between the dying woman and Francis. Too true-her bell was rung so who knows what she was thinking or seeing. An intense connection in that moment for sure. His instinct was compassion? Damned human condition. The physical act of a kiss would be more important to me than the last rights-for sure. Probably why im always in trouble. Haha! I really liked the thing about the ramp and him not feeling worthy of such a luxury when he felt he did something morally wrong. Almost like he continues to punish himself for that one act. (I've been doing something like that to myself for about 3 years now.)
Love the toast to never wearing mismatched socks and Bill checking on Reba then movin on. Attached but keeping a distance.
Super story with lots of special qualities in all three characters and how they interact with their own personal conditions and convictions. Love this style of writing. You do a great job adding deep meaning in a light hearted way. I read this yesterday but the story made me have to think about it for awhile, why I wonder?
XOVicki
I seem to have an endless supply of six stars for you these days. What's going on?

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2013