Dead Echoes of the Past
Two killers, two detectives, two times59 total reviews
Comment from Mystery Reader
Your story had me hooked from the beginning to the end. I love the fact the detective talked to his ancestor that happened to be a detective working the Jack the Ripper case. Very original. You wrote so vividly I saw each scene clearly.
Excellent writing from beginning to end.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
  |
Your story had me hooked from the beginning to the end. I love the fact the detective talked to his ancestor that happened to be a detective working the Jack the Ripper case. Very original. You wrote so vividly I saw each scene clearly.
Excellent writing from beginning to end.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2013
-
Thank you, MR :-). This is a personal favourite among my short works, and I have it in the back of my mind to write a novel or series of cases using the same set-up. Might have to set them before this one though!
Mike
Comment from lolly123123
I wish I could have given this more stars.
I never expected that twist at the end of the story, well written and it kept me hooked from the beginning.
I loved the way it moved between the times with Clem talking to Booker.
I wanted more. I did however notice a similarity at the beginning of the story where you set the scene to another story of which I have read(not published on here) - The Black Dahlia or was it the Red Dahlia (not too sure now).
reply by the author on 10-May-2013
|
I wish I could have given this more stars.
I never expected that twist at the end of the story, well written and it kept me hooked from the beginning.
I loved the way it moved between the times with Clem talking to Booker.
I wanted more. I did however notice a similarity at the beginning of the story where you set the scene to another story of which I have read(not published on here) - The Black Dahlia or was it the Red Dahlia (not too sure now).
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 10-May-2013
-
Thanks so much, Lolly. This is amongst my favourites of my stories. I'm saddened to hear there's a similar opening out there, but I suppose that's inevitable in some ways.
I really appreciate your time and feedback.
Mike
Comment from Judian James
OMG! You posted this while I was on vacation in NYC. I found it today due to your placing in the contest. Congratulations for this AND POM!! Wow! My heart was in my throat when I read the warnings ... you know me and my reaction to "strong violence" BUT I could not stop reading.
Excellent dialogue between Clem and Phil ... marvelous descriptions throughout ... shocking ending!! BRAVO. Beautifully written piece of prose that kept me holding my breath throughout.
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
|
OMG! You posted this while I was on vacation in NYC. I found it today due to your placing in the contest. Congratulations for this AND POM!! Wow! My heart was in my throat when I read the warnings ... you know me and my reaction to "strong violence" BUT I could not stop reading.
Excellent dialogue between Clem and Phil ... marvelous descriptions throughout ... shocking ending!! BRAVO. Beautifully written piece of prose that kept me holding my breath throughout.
Comment Written 29-May-2012
reply by the author on 31-May-2012
-
Thanks so much, JJ :-). I hope I didn't upset too much with those descriptions. I was particularly happy with this one - it came together just right. I'm thrilled you read and enjoyed it!
Mike
Comment from Tomoso
Wow!
Thanks for super read,Fleedleflump,I really enjoyed this one and you know how to keep a reader riveted,despite the length on the screen. A great story that kept me engrossed.
Thanks for sharing
I wish you luck in contest
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
 |
Wow!
Thanks for super read,Fleedleflump,I really enjoyed this one and you know how to keep a reader riveted,despite the length on the screen. A great story that kept me engrossed.
Thanks for sharing
I wish you luck in contest
Comment Written 24-May-2012
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
-
Thanks so much, T :-). This took a long time to get right, but I think it was worth it. I'm so glad you enjoyed the read!
Mike
Comment from kiwisteveh
It is long and I was going to dump it when I realised, but you managed to draw me into the story. I wonder if you could cut bits without affecting the overall too much e.g. the character of Moore and even the examination of the body BTW are you sure it's the coroner who does this examination - I thought there role was purely legal.... Maybe you want 'pathologist'
In any case, it is cleverly contrived and given a suitably macabre twist at the end. Well done and good luck.
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
|
It is long and I was going to dump it when I realised, but you managed to draw me into the story. I wonder if you could cut bits without affecting the overall too much e.g. the character of Moore and even the examination of the body BTW are you sure it's the coroner who does this examination - I thought there role was purely legal.... Maybe you want 'pathologist'
In any case, it is cleverly contrived and given a suitably macabre twist at the end. Well done and good luck.
Comment Written 24-May-2012
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
-
Thanks, Steve. I really appreciate that, and it's good to know the opening works as a hook. I'm thinking of rewriting it as a novel, possibly fir November's NaNoWriMo, so I'll be able to flesh out some. You're right, in retrospect - this could be trimmed a fair bit for short story purposes. Still, it's only really long for Fanstory purposes.
Thanks again for the great review!
Mike
Comment from burneymac29
I will say this was a highly entertaining short that I honestly believe could easily be a novel. You had my attention from the very beginning. Great story!
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
|
I will say this was a highly entertaining short that I honestly believe could easily be a novel. You had my attention from the very beginning. Great story!
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
-
Thanks so much, BM :-). I'm considering rewriting it as a novel, because my mind's already full of ideas for fleshing it out. I'm glad to hear it held your attention!
Mike
Comment from Silverlock
Congratulations on a great story, I thought your descrptions were powerful and evocative, and gave added depth to the piece. I liked the way you used the bench as a link between characters and time itself, very clever.
My only slight concern was the autopsy scene with the coroner: I don't think that one can tell how long someone has been a prostitute for from a post mortem, I think it's the Jugular vein (not artery, could be Coronary artery)and I think most medical professionals would say uterus rather than womb.
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
|
Congratulations on a great story, I thought your descrptions were powerful and evocative, and gave added depth to the piece. I liked the way you used the bench as a link between characters and time itself, very clever.
My only slight concern was the autopsy scene with the coroner: I don't think that one can tell how long someone has been a prostitute for from a post mortem, I think it's the Jugular vein (not artery, could be Coronary artery)and I think most medical professionals would say uterus rather than womb.
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
-
Thanks, Silver :-). I'll look into the issues you've raised. I really appreciate the time and interest you've taken. Glad you enjoyed the read!
Mike
Comment from Peaceful Heart
I enjoyed reading this. It was well written and the details just helped me get lost in the story. This isn't my typical genre of choice, but you definitely held my attention. I honestly have nothing bad to say about this.
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
|
I enjoyed reading this. It was well written and the details just helped me get lost in the story. This isn't my typical genre of choice, but you definitely held my attention. I honestly have nothing bad to say about this.
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
-
Thank you, PH :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed it, especially if it's not usually your thing. It took me quite a while to write, but I think it was worth the time investment.
Mike
Comment from MelissaBickel
I think I'll come back when I get my six stars and re-rate this. It is long but great stories are. I mean I devour J.D.Robb's futuristic stories all the time. This is freakin great and I'd read and reread this.
My only thought is I hate it that the future detective dies as well. I mean........you've practically shut down any following stories from this unless Clem's takes to heart what Phil said about the alley and changes time a bit.
Oh yeah I'm into this. So many great details. The correspondence of the two relatives across time, the murders and such. Great stuff!!!
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
|
I think I'll come back when I get my six stars and re-rate this. It is long but great stories are. I mean I devour J.D.Robb's futuristic stories all the time. This is freakin great and I'd read and reread this.
My only thought is I hate it that the future detective dies as well. I mean........you've practically shut down any following stories from this unless Clem's takes to heart what Phil said about the alley and changes time a bit.
Oh yeah I'm into this. So many great details. The correspondence of the two relatives across time, the murders and such. Great stuff!!!
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
-
Thanks so much, Melissa :-). I'm thinking of rewriting this as a novel for this year's NaNoWriMo in November. That way I can change that ending and go into a lot more detail/exploration of the setup. Thanks for the wonderful comments!
Mike
Comment from gramalot8
Mike, this was very good. I really enjoyed your storyline. Great imagery throughout. Wonderful use of the bench in the picture. Good information in notes that explain parts of your story. Great dialog and interaction of characters. Good job. Could easily be made into chapters. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
|
Mike, this was very good. I really enjoyed your storyline. Great imagery throughout. Wonderful use of the bench in the picture. Good information in notes that explain parts of your story. Great dialog and interaction of characters. Good job. Could easily be made into chapters. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-May-2012
reply by the author on 24-May-2012
-
Thanks so much, Gramalot - I'm thrilled you emjoyed it :-).
Mike
